Author's Notes: Chapter TWO! It'll start getting interesting after this, promise! I'm going to try and keep everyone (other then Ron obviously) in cannon personality. So expect bumpy roads, fights, and duels; the fluff comes a whole lot later people, but it'll be humorous and interesting before that. This chapter, as was the last, is beta'd my zzzooe. Go comment on one of her stories! She doesn't bite! High ho, high ho, off to Zoe's page we go do do do do do do, high ho, high ho, high ho, high ho...

Chapter Two

"Master Blaise, Miss. Hermione is here to see you." Trixy squeaked to her master.

"Ah, bring her in here please," Blaise answered putting down the Daily Prophet, "Lila," Blaise called and a little house elf appeared, she was the youngest of the house elves.

"Yes, Master Blaise?" Lila asked.

"Could you tell my wife to come to the kitchen?"

"Of course Master," Lila disappeared with a pop, just as Hermione walked in behind a babbling Trixy.

"-then Lila told me that Bix had said it was very important and it was only a water leak! It's simple enough to fix and I understand Lila is only 11 but Bix should surely know how to fix it! Oh, sit, sit Miss, Trixy will make some more tea!" Trixy then trotted off around walking around the white and yellow very bright kitchen humming happily to herself.

"Hello, Blaise," Hermione smiled taking a seat.

"Hey, Hermione," Blaise leaned over the table for a hug.

Luna walked in and hugged Hermione then took a seat.

"So, I got your patronus this morning, what is that we need to talk about?" Hermione asked.

"Hermione, I know you don't-,"

"Ron is cheating on you."

Blaise shook his head, Luna was always one to be blunt and to the point.

"I know that you know this Hermione. And I know that you're waiting for it to stop but it's not going to! It's been going on for a year. A year, at least! What's going to stop him when you guys get married in 6 months?" Luna asked.

Hermione didn't say anything at first but just sat their studying the grout between the tiles that were in the middle of the cupboards and counter.

"So," Hermione said very quietly after several seconds of silence, "You asked me here, so that you could persuade me to break up with Ron?"

"No," the couple said together making Hermione look up.

"Then why do you want to talk about this? Yes I know Ron's been cheating on me with his fans. Yes I have been hoping it would stop. No I don't think it'll stop when we get married. Why are you telling me a bunch of things I already know? What is the point-," Hermione's voice went higher then normal and Blaise cut her off.

"Do you want revenge?"

"What?" Hermione asked, looking confused.

"Do you want revenge on that two timing, good for nothing, back stabbing, cheating, lying and deceiving ungrateful toe rag?" Blaise asked again.

"I don't know what you mean," Hermione said.

"Do the same thing to him that he's doing to you."

"Blaise, really. You want me, Hermione Jean Granger, to have an affair?" Hermione asked taking her cup from Trixy, smiling her thanks.

"No, we want you to pretend to," Luna said taking her cup as well.

"What?" Hermione asked aghast. That did not just come out of Luna's mouth.

"You heard me. We want you to pretend to have an affair. It'll be kept secret but the media will catch glimpses of you two every now an again and Blaise and I will spread rumours. When Ron finds out he'll throw a fit, especially when he finds out who its with, but when we corner him and tell him we've know all along about his cheating he'll have no right to," Luna explained, calmly.

"When he finds out who it's with?" Hermione asked slightly anxious.

"Don't worry you two have set aside your differences. You two are almost like friends now. You work at the ministry together, you've been here for dinner with us when he was here and you even danced with him at our Christmas party two months ago," Blaise said and he watched as the answer slowly, ever so slowly dawn on Hermione, Blaise thought he'd help her out a little more, "You two will be fine, just don't call him Drakey Poo," Blaise grinned at Pansy's old nickname.

"No, no, no! I am not, pretend or not, having a bloody affair with Draco Malfoy! I only danced to keep the image, I only talk to be nice, and so what if our arguments not like they used to be? He is still Draco bloody Malfoy and I am still Hermione Granger!" Hermione shouted.

"But then it won't be awkward. He'll have to be at your house so that it seems more likely that you two are actually together! You'll go to restaurants two times a week or so, after a few months you'll be free of him," Luna reasoned.

"It won't be awkward? Where in the hell did you pull that from Luna? You want me to live with Malfoy. I have to see him at work! Now I have to live him and eat with him too?" Hermione asked almost pleadingly.

"It's not like were asking you to sleep with him," Blaise pointed out, "Although that wouldn't hurt, imagine the look on Weasley's face when…," Blaise's voice faltered at the murderous glare he was receiving from Hermione. Blaise coughed loudly into the silence straightening his tie.

There was an awkward silence where Trixy watched upon the scene of Luna watching Hermione who glared at Blaise who was studying the tiles on his sparkling kitchen floor.

"Master!" Lila bounded in excitement, "Master, Master Draco is here!"

"Bring him-, AH!" Blaise ducked under the table as the sugar bowl collided with the opposite wall. He felt someone grab his tie and pull him up, were he came face to face with an angry lioness.

"You already brought him here? You already told him?" Hermione said through gritted teeth.

"N-no, we just told him to come at n-nine," Blaise stuttered.

"Well isn't this amusing?" came a voice from the door way.

You would have to agree with Draco if you were in his shoes. Walking down the hall way to find two house elves sharing a look of undoubted amusement, your best friend slowly being choked to death with his own neck tie by none other then the famous Hermione Granger, all the while an entertained Luna Zabini sat, sipping tea and watching with amusement also.

"Hello Draco," Luna greeted as if her husband wasn't currently being choked by her one of her two best friends, "Would you like some tea?"

"Sure…, did I miss something?" Draco asked taking a seat next to Luna and watching Blaise and Hermione who was still holding his tie.

"Not much," Luna said conversationally in her normal dreamy voice.

"Could…, could you let go of me now?" Blaise whispered.

Hermione who had been watching Luna and Draco looked down at him in surprise before releasing him.

"Thank you; blimey do you have a grip-,"

"Zip it!" Hermione snarled throwing herself into the chair next to Luna.

"So what do I owe the great pleasure of being here at 9am in this fine Saturday morning?" Draco asked putting emphasis on Saturday.

Luna, ignoring the sarcasm, shared a look with her husband before scooting her chair out of Hermione's reach then saying, "Remember that game of truth or dare you played with Blaise the last night of your repeated 7th year at Hogwarts five years ago?"

Draco's smirk faltered, "Erm, yeah."

"And remembered how you refused to do Theo's dare; make out with Eloise Midgeins?" Blaise smirked.

"Yeah…," Draco was looking worried now; he thought that they had forgotten about this.

"Well we've come up with your dare that you have to do, its part of the game remember?" Blaise smiled his most charming smile.

Draco didn't say or do anything.

"The dare is, that you pretend to date Hermione," Luna said after a few seconds of silence.

"What?" Draco blurted looking at her like she'd grown two heads.

"You heard me," she said simply.

"Imagine the look on Weasley's face when he finds out Draco, won't just that be worth it? Not to mention Hermione has gotten quite pretty," Blaise added in an undertone.

"What was that Zabini?" Hermione asked coldly, for Blaise's sake, she hoped that he hadn't said what she thought he just said.

"I said you can still see your other pretty girlfriends," Blaise lied quickly.

"No he can't, neither of you are allowed to see other people," Luna said immediately flashing her husband a warning look.

"Why?" they asked at the same time. Hermione didn't really care, she would never cheat on Ron, but what did it matter if they saw other people or not.

"Because I said so," Luna said simply, standing up, "Now, will you two pretend to date for the next few months? For revenge? For Hermione, it's revenge for his cheating, for Draco, revenge for being a pain in your arse all these years. We know how you love to aggravate him; this is the best way to do it."

Hermione and Draco shot each other a glare before saying at the same time, "Fine."


Author's Note Two: Sorry had to fix a name I spelled wrong. (it really aggervates me) Also I just put a poll up on my profile regarding this story. I suggest you go check it out because...well just trust me you'll want your vote to count. I'm not 100% sure myself but I suposse if I get eneoug of 'yes' then I might do it for you guys. It's on my profile, go check it out! Come on, you know you want to! :):):) And go review one of Zzzooe stories, she's not felling to well. :(

I'm sorry that was a little boring but I had to give you reason as to why Draco would agree. Just to let you know the story follows the books, but obviously EWE, and this story takes place five years after the war. So Draco is a little diffrent, but not by to much. He's still blood predjeduce but not as much as he used to be school, and he's of course a real pain in the arse and a 'womanizer'. BTW, Luna is two months pregnant and Ginny and Harry will be marring in six weeks! Thanks you loads guys! Can I please get some reviews? :)