Chapter Two
We heard a cello being played from inside the apartment. Ray knocked on the door.
"I'll get it!" Dana's voice came through the door. It opened and there she stood.
"Hi, Dana." Ray smiled.
"Hi, Ray." Dana smiled back. "How good to see you." Ray walked in and hugged her. "Thanks for coming." They pulled away.
"Hey, no problem. Always glad to help. And hug." Ray walked over near the living room area.
"Hello, Dana." Egon walked in and shook her hand.
"Hi, Egon." Dana smiled.
"Nice place." Ray looked around.
"Dana." I grinned as I walked in. She hugged me tightly and then pulled away.
"You need to bring Alex over sometime so we can arrange a playdate for the kids."
"Sounds great. But watch out. Alex likes to take stuffed animals." I laughed and walked over to Egon, who pointed at the door as Dana was about to shut it. It popped right back open and Peter walked in.
"Well, I know I'm just asking for the big hurt, but I'd thought I'd give us one more chance." He said quickly. Dana shut her door, a little annoyed.
"He tortured me." Ray explained. "He pulled my ears."
Dana just nodded once and then took a few steps forward. "Hello, Peter."
Peter turned on his heels and looked her over. "Hello, Dana." He had a sort of sad puppy dog look on his face. Dana turned to Egon and me.
"So, what would you like to do first?" she crossed her arms.
"We'd like to examine the baby first." Egon explained. The maid walked over with Dana's son, and Dana took him.
"Yeah, and anything associated with the baby, especially stuffed toys. Things with fabric. That sort of stuff." Ray added.
"Then we'd like to see the buggy."
"Alright." Dana agreed. She walked over to the table. "Can I put him over here?"
"And, uh, wherever he sleeps." Ray added quickly.
"Yes." Dana replied. Peter wandered off while the rest of us walked over to the table.
"This'll be fine." Egon tapped a few fingers on the table. Ray picked up the changing mat.
"This okay?" he asked.
"That's fine."
"Okay." He arranged for the mat to be perfectly flat. "We'll have to lay him down flat."
Dana placed Oscar, her son, carefully on the mat. "Okay, sweetheart, now they're gonna take a look at you." She stood upright. Oscar made a baby noise and reached up for half a second.
"We'll do a cursory medical examination."
"What do you say?" Ray rolled his sleeves up. "Gammel and Pross Infant Acuity Test?"
"Sounds good. We'll finish with an Apgar score." Egon took his coat off.
"Sounds like we'll get some results then." I smiled slightly.
"We should. These tests never fail."
"It's nothing that's gonna hurt him, right?" Dana asked, a bit concerned. Which I could completely understand. After all, who's ever really heard of these tests except for scientists? If I had just heard of them and people wanted to perform them on Alexandria, I'd sure as hell be asking questions.
"No. No, I don't think so." Egon replied. "He'll be fine." He set some tools on the side as Ray handed them out to him. Suddenly we heard some pretty bad cello playing. We all looked, and Peter was sitting there, holding Dana's cello like a guitar and playing. Dana, a bit annoyed, walked over to him. Ray looked over at Egon.
"You ever done this before?" he asked.
"On a chimp." Egon responded. I just looked at him. "What?"
"Aren't chimps and humans at least a little bit different?"
"Not really. Chimps are pretty similar to humans."
I shrugged. Ray took out a tape recorder and began recording. "Okay." He said. "Subject is a male Caucasian, approximately..." he waited for Egon to measure him.
"24 inches." Egon observed.
"You measured him from the ass up." I said.
"I know what I'm doing."
I held my hands in surrender. "Alright. You're the man." After watching our small talk, Ray continued.
"24 inches in length. Subject weighs approximately 18 pounds and is about 8 months old." He repositioned himself as Egon bent down, took out a flashlight and quickly did a short eye examination. "Okay. Ocular?"
"Pupillary response normal." Egon observed and placed the tiny flashlight back into his shirt pocket. Ray placed the recorder down.
"Auditory." He snapped his fingers and Oscar looked at him. Egon snapped his and Oscar looked at him.
"Appears normal."
"Apillary reflex."
They lifted Oscar's arms and tickled him. Oscar got that look on his face that it really did tickle him. It was cute.
"Appears to be ticklish." Ray said.
"Yep. Baby ticklish."
"He's so cute." I smiled. "I want a son."
Egon snapped his head and looked at me. "Are you pregnant?" he asked.
"Not that I know of, why?"
"You said the same thing when you were pregnant with Alex, except it was I want a daughter."
"Well I'm not pregnant. Yet." I wiggled my eyebrows. Egon smiled slightly and shook his head.
"Later."
"I can wait."
"I really don't need that mental image." Ray mumbled.
"Well, you've got it now." I smirked. Egon took out this stethoscope thing that you put on your head and listened to the baby's heartbeat.
"Well," I heard Peter say as he and Dana walked back over. "I may have a lot of personal problems, but I'm a total professional when it comes to my job." He stopped nest to Egon. "Hey, Egon."
My husband looked up. "What?"
Peter leaned up and spoke into the contraption. "What're we doing?"
Egon winced and then took it off. "He seems to be fine, Dana."
"Mmhmm, he's very healthy." Dana explained.
"He's okay." Peter said.
"When he does sleep, where do you put him?" Ray asked.
"Right around here, I'll show you." Dana began to head over to the nursery, Ray close behind. Egon handed Peter a container.
"Venkman, would you get a stool specimen, please?" he asked.
"Business or personal?" Peter joked. I rolled my eyes and Egon and I walked into the nursery, just behind Dana and Ray. Dana bent over to pick up some toys.
"It's a little messy." She said. Ray shrugged.
"Well, we don't wanna play with anything, we just want to sweep for valences." Ray picked up a yellow stuffed triceratops and hovered the PKE over it. It didn't go crazy or anything and Ray placed it back. I looked around. Dana had a few mobiles hanging from the ceiling, and the room was sky blue themed. Stuffed animals were everywhere, as were some toys. I liked it. Alex's was a bit different, seeing as how she was a girl and all. Her room was red, pink, and purple with coloring books, crayons, and toys all over the place. I'd pick it up every day, but somehow that kid would always find a way to dirty it up again.
"Very cheerful." Egon looked around. "My parents didn't believe in toys."
"Mine did. That's why Alex has so many."
"And that's why my parents are a little pissed."
"They'll get over it." I shrugged. After a few seconds, all we heard was Peter, in an accent of course, say:
"Help! He's gone completely berserk! Help!"
Egon and Ray looked at each other. "Uh oh." They mumbled. Dana left the room. I banged my head once lightly on the wall. Ray had picked the stuffed animal back up and had it under his arm. Egon messed with a baby rattle. Ray looked a bit confused.
"You mean...you never even had a Slinky?"
"We had part of a Slinky." Egon answered. "But I straightened it."
I looked at him, my eyebrows furrowed. "How the hell do you straighten a Slinky?"
"Time, patience, and a hammer."
Ray shrugged, put the stuffed animal down, took his PKE out, slid under the crib and analyzed it. I looked around as Egon inspected other baby things. When he got bored he sat on the dresser. I looked at him.
"Do you want another baby?"
"Yes but not right now. Maybe in a year or so." He responded. I nodded. He placed an arm around me. "Trust me. We will have another one."
"Okay." I smiled a bit. Ray poked his head back out from under the crib.
"Nothing." He said. Peter walked in and looked at Egon.
"So, what, brainiac?" he asked. Egon stood and looked at him.
"I'd like to run some gynecological tests on the mother."
"Who wouldn't?"
"Let's check the street." Egon nodded his head towards the door. We walked out of the nursery.
