A/N: Very fast updates, I know! But I already had the first four chapters written. I forgot the disclaimer last time, too: I do not own Final Fantasy or any related themes/characters/etc., though I deeply wish I owned hot and sexy Cloud. :D Lol. Please read and review!

Ch. 2 --- Watching

Days later, I couldn't remember ever feeling so... light. It was as if the weight of the world had been lifted by the grace of Aerith's parting, forgiving smile in her church... and suddenly, things were clearer to me than they had ever been before. I didn't have to do anything alone... and I didn't have to blame myself for things over which I had no control. I learned that it was okay to need people... that it was okay to love... and most importantly of all, I learned it just by watching Tifa.

She had a routine, see. Every morning, she'd wake up the kids, make breakfast, clean, and then, when it came time, she'd do the menial tasks in preparation for the opening of the bar. Washing every dish, cleaning every counter, checking every stock of liquor with careful precision. I watched her a lot, watched her go about her daily schedule, watched her care for the kids like they were her own, and watched her do things for me without even realizing it. Little things, like send a smile my way more than once, or brush my arm in concern when I seemed far away. It was astounding how graceful and beautiful Tifa began to appear to me, how wonderfully deep were her eyes and how adorable the habit of pushing her long dark hair behind her ears was. I watched how she'd wrinkle her brow in frustration at an annoying spot on a glass, watched the way she always checked on the children at least twice after they'd gone to bed at night. I knew that, like me, she hadn't quite gotten over the fear of awful things happening yet, hadn't quite let go of the need to make certain that everything was really and truly all right. I still worried about them, and sometimes, myself. But together, we could get through it, which, I think, was the message she was trying to send with her eyes all that time. It was a comforting thought.

Even little things Marlene and Denzel did without realizing it began to awaken more of my former self. Marlene would hug me at the most random times... and though I wouldn't always know quite what to do or say, and though sometimes, it made me uncomfortable to let even a small girl that close to me, it was nice. Denzel tended to keep his distance, but never hesitated to smile at me or tell me about the latest thing he and Marlene had done under the nose of Tifa. To be quite honest, they were practically begging for attention from their hero, a title that maybe I didn't want, but held to them anyway, and I was more than willing to give it. I think I was trying to make up for lost time, trying to win Tifa's true forgiveness by showing her that I could open up again, even if only to children. I tried with her, as well, but something held me back.

Maybe it was the frantic look she would give me whenever I had disappeared from the room for only a moment and then re-entered, a look that said to me that she was terrified of me leaving them again. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't, but I couldn't seem to find the right words to say it aloud. Maybe the way she sometimes looked sad, melancholy even, when she looked at me, stopped me from trying to get closer. I knew what the look was for; she was under the impression that I loved Aerith and was still having hard time. And I supposed, to be fair, that I hadn't really done anything to rebuke the theory that I loved her. Hell, we had all loved her, but everyone seemed to think that I loved her in a different way – and I hadn't. Even if I had loved her, the memory was... no longer haunting me. I viewed Aerith and Zack differently now, not as ghosts of the past or illusions of the mind, but simply as memories, happy ones, and ones that served to remind me just what I and the world had lost... and what we still had. I didn't know for the life of me how to explain this to Tifa. I knew that if I tried, she would understand... but I didn't have the courage to try, honestly. It was strange, that a man who had saved the world twice and stood up to evil itself was afraid of opening himself further to his best friend... but it was true.

As I promised Tifa without words, I made less deliveries. They weren't as important now, somehow; it wasn't as necessary to use them to distance myself from others. I wanted to be at home, as I came to think of it, and if they wanted me there, then it was good enough for me.