A/N: As always, thank you to Ro for your patience, encouragement and friendship. You are a remarkable beta reader.
Warnings: angst, language, violence, character death, drugs, sex
Pairings: 2x3, 1x2, 2x5, 3x5, 2x3x5, 2x13, 4x6, HxR, 9xS, 1xD, others
Trowa imagined he could still feel the effects of the sun on Duo's body, imagined that the supple flesh between his hands radiated heat from the blazing orb just now setting across the water. He imagined that the salt he licked from Duo's neck was from the water, a lingering wave that had chased after him as Duo surfed through the tides. He imagined the breathless laugh, tinged with lust, that slipped from Duo's lips was the lingering joy of a day spent basking in the golden California afternoon.
He imagined that he could feel all of those things, imagined that he could be as careless and carefree.
He imagined that the heavy breezes that occasionally lifted the surf didn't remind him of wading through shallow waters with his rifle held just high enough to keep dry. He imagined that the sun baking down overhead didn't remind him of treks across open fields, imagined that he didn't still feel the tickle of fear at the base of his neck that meant someone was watching, meant an enemy was close by and death was imminent. He imagined that he didn't touch Duo and remember the lifeless bodies he had had to push aside just so he could escape the clutches of death. He imagined that Duo's soft moans of pleasure didn't remind him of the whimpers of men dying.
He had always had a good imagination, but maybe that was part of the problem. Maybe that was why he struggled to stay grounded in reality, maybe that was why memory and sensation and nightmare warred with him constantly.
"Babe," Duo crooned, just a little impatient, his movements insistent.
Trowa clutched onto him, the warm, firm skin of Duo's thighs a lifeline.
He felt Duo shift, felt the slick heat of his anus glide against Trowa's hard cock, and Trowa held his breath as Duo took him in hand and positioned him.
He slid into Duo's body in one swift, sharp motion, both of them gasping, both of them clutching each other.
Duo rode him, slowly, each movement a lingering caress, a tease of intimacy. Trowa lay back, held on and let Duo set the pace, let himself forget everything but the fit of Duo against him, made himself map the lines of Duo's lean torso and his powerful legs and arms, made himself meet Duo's half-closed eyes.
He wanted to drown in Duo, wanted to melt into his body and leave everything else behind.
Duo felt it, always could, and his fingers tightened on Trowa's shoulders.
"Tro."
It was a gasp, a plea that made Trowa feel desperate and desolate.
He dug his fingers into Duo's hips, saw the wince on Duo's face and immediately loosened his hold.
"No, no, s'fine," Duo panted as his body moved, his pace turning feverish and his face and body flushed with arousal.
He was close, his weeping cock begging for attention, and Trowa ignored Duo's assurances. He took hold of Duo's cock and stroked it.
Trowa could feel his own climax approaching, could feel the tightening in his balls and the tension in his thighs, and the urge to thrust savagely into Duo's body was almost overwhelming.
Duo whimpered, and his fingers spasmed.
"Tro. Babe. Oh, babe- Oh please, please- Trowa!"
Trowa held him as Duo came, milking his cock and easing him down from orgasm, taking in the sated, sloppy grin on Duo's face and feeling a painful tug on his heart.
His own climax felt bittersweet, felt like relief and guilt and pleasure spun into a complex web that left him feeling drained and vulnerable in ways he hated.
Duo moved, cum leaving a streak across Trowa's thighs and belly, and Duo shifted to lay down on the bed beside him.
Trowa lifted his arm and Duo fit himself against his side, cheek over Trowa's heart.
"Tro?"
I'm here.
Trowa wanted to say it, wanted to mean it.
But Duo hated when he lied.
Instead, he tangled his fingers in Duo's hair and closed his eyes and tried to breathe.
