Chapter Two. (When enough was enough)

(Scott 18, Jac 17, Virgil 15, John 13, Gordon 10, Alan 9)

I fold you everything above in a feeble way to justify what I did next. I'm not proud of it and looking back now if there was any way for turning back to clock I would. But at the time I was no more than a child and saw no other way out than the way I took.

I happened at 5.20 on Alan's 9th birthday. I'd been late for school, it wasn't the first time that week and it was a final score for the school that had had enough of my constant 'truancy' and 'under-achieving' having received no replies to the numerous letter and emails requesting my father contacted them, they finally called him at work. He's had to cancel an important meeting to come to school and hear all about my flaws. It was only a 15 minute car drive home and I had held my tongue the whole way, as i always did, as he lectured me on the importance of education, the need for discipline and how I was showing up the whole family. As the car came to a stop outside the house I leaped out ready and made for the front door ready to escape to my room but Jeff had other ideas, "Not so fast, you might not know but it's your bothers birthday today, I'm not having you ruin that as well."

It was the final straw he could accuse me of being lazy, disruptive and troublesome, things he know nothing about, if he wanted but I would not stand for anyone suggesting I didn't not care for my brothers.

I turned in front of the door so he couldn't get into the house and ever so calmly said. "Actually I did know it was Alan's birthday today as I took a hot chocolate with a sparkler to him in bed this morning, but know might not know that that is what Scott's did for each of us on every single birthday, you also might not know that at this Alan bust out crying, thinking it was because Scott was at university I spent half an hour trying to calm him down only to find out he was crying because he didn't want to go to school because he was being teased but you might not know that. So I decided to take Alan and Gordon to school myself and have a word with his teacher so it wouldn't happen again which, you might not know, is why I was late for school."

He just stood there rooted to the spot staring at me as if I was something he could quite comprehend. But the door had been opened now and I couldn't shut it again, I took he silence as a sign to go.

"Some more thing you might not know about, did you know that Virgil only got into his high school because Scott spent the whole summer teaching him middle school science. Did you know that scab all down johns leg that time wasn't from falling off his bike, but from when he tried to make he own rocket, but mixed fuel slightly wrong and it blow up in he's face. Did you know that Scott actually missed his first pilots licences test because he was baling me out of jail when i got court driving without a licence to pick Gordon up from a swimming competition that you said that you would be attending but didn't."

I'd done what I always promised myself I'd never do I'd let my anger get the best of me. I had practically screamed the last part and I knew it was a step to far. There'd had been a line and I'd crossed it and there was no way to cross back over. But what was done was done.

I took a deep breath and looked my father in the eye. "Do you know what your present to Alan is this year" This time I wanted an answer and he know it, but he was still staring in disbelief.

I waited and finally he whispered "No"

I waited still he wasn't getting away that easily "you brought it for him"

"Well I guess that's something you do know then"

and with that I set off walking I didn't know where too to start with, just away from the house and that man. I something's wonder if he ever tried to follow me, I like to think I shocked he too much for it even to occur to him. In reality he probable just assumed I'd come back eventually.

As troughed on a plan slowly forming in my head as I went. All I had with me was my school bag with laptop, purse, phone, school books and pencil case but that would be enough. A bus to the train station. A train to Florida. Get a job on one of the yacht that dock there and then I'm free forever. Of course there was the small task of altering my details on the US passport database to I appeared over 18 and then managing to pass my crew exams and find work before Scott or Dad track me down. I'd disabled to GSP tacking on my phone and computer, and had withdrawn the largest amount of money I was allowed to take out on my card at the bus depo ( which is more than you'd think if you have to right card, which being a Tracy I did). But in reality I don't think I would have minded if they had found and my plan hadn't worked.

But against all odds it did and 10 days after I left home I was on a boat heading for the south of France. Just as we were clearing the docks I sent 5 text messages. They all said the same two simple things. "I love you. Please don't hate me" and with that i dropped my phone into the sea.