902 - TOW the Window Washer

Chandler and Monica were lying in bed together, in each other's arms, smiling happily at one another. The morning had just dawned and it was a new day toward their goal of having a family.

Monica: Last night was great.

Chandler: You bet it was! I've never had such little sleep before!

Monica: Maybe it was because we had an audience.

Chandler: What?!

Monica: That window washer. He was watching us all night! He's still there.

Chandler started to look over toward the window.

Monica: No! Don't look!

Chandler: Why didn't you tell me?! I would've told him to go away!

Monica: Well, I didn't realize until we were already into it, and I just figured he was some horny old lonely man. I mean, hey, even old people need a cheap thrill every once in awhile.

Chandler: Monica, I've never seen this side of you.

Monica: Well, get used to it sweetie. This Monica is here to stay. Well, at least in the bedroom. I mean, I wouldn't want our friends to see me like this.

*~*

Phoebe was sipping a cup of latte at Central Perk. She was leafing through a magazine, trying to figure out what she was going to do that day. Ross and Rachel were sitting beside her and Joey was sitting there as well. Rachel was cradling Hannah in her arms and feeding her a bottle. The infant girl was sleeping, nestled in the crook of Rachel's arm.

Ross and Joey were discussing music because Ross had been playing Mozart softly in Hannah's nursery at night to help build up intellect. Rachel wasn't paying attention to the boring conversation, and Phoebe was zoning out.

Ross: No, Joey, Mozart wrote Sonata, not Bach.

Joey: I swear, I read about Bach and Sonata!

Ross: I know a little more about it than you do!

Joey: Fine, Phoebe, what do you think?

Phoebe, who was zoning out looked at Joey and Ross.

Phoebe: Huh?

Ross: About Mozart and Bach.

Phoebe: Oh! I think I met them! Such nice fellows!

Ross: Phoebe, they're dead! They have been for a very long time.

Phoebe: Not in this life. Silly boys!

Phoebe went back to her magazine and latte as Joey and Ross stared at her awkwardly. Ross looked at his watch and jumped up quickly from the couch.

Ross: I'm late for my class! I have to go. I'll be back in a few hours.

Ross leaned down and kissed baby Hannah's cheek and left quickly. Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe sat silently in the coffeehouse.

*~*

Monica was sitting at the kitchen table in her bathrobe. She was drinking a cup of tea and eating a couple of waffles. Chandler was sitting across from her drinking a cup of strong coffee. He was dressed for work and knew he'd have to leave soon.

Chandler: I wonder if that window washer guy is still out there?

Monica: I don't know. If not, I'm sure he'll be back tonight.

Chandler: It's really creepy. I don't like people watching us.

Monica: Well, I don't want to have to shut my curtains. He can either watch or leave. I'm not backing down.

Chandler: For the love of . . . Monica, this is insane.

Monica: I know, but I will not shut my curtains!

Chandler: Honey, do you think that you could, just for once give up?

Monica: Ha! No!

Chandler shook his head and stifled a laugh. He took the last sip of his coffee. He stood up and kissed Monica.

Chandler: I'll be back later.

Monica: I'll be waiting.

Chandler kissed her again and then left the apartment.

*~*

Rachel was still at Central Perk, but Phoebe and Joey weren't there now. Baby Hannah was sleeping in her stroller and Rachel was relaxing with a cup of coffee and a scone. She smiled as she smelled the aroma of coffee filling her nostrils.

Rachel: Hannah, sweetie, when you get older, you'll discover the joys of caffeine. It's wonderful.

Gunther walked by and stared at Rachel. He nearly tripped over a table, but he kept his balance and continued walking.

Rachel stood up and put her tip down on the table. She took hold of the stroller and pushed it out of the coffeehouse.

She walked down the sidewalk for a while until she spotted someone who caught her eye right away. It was Tag. Rachel's eyes widened and she saw him look over at her. He smiled, waved, and started to walk over.

Rachel: Oh my god. Okay, Hannah, this man is mommy's ex, so don't be afraid.

She looked down at the baby, but the girl was fast asleep.

Tag: Rachel! Hi!

Rachel: Hi Tag. How are you?

Tag: I'm good. I've been meaning to call you, but I just couldn't, you know?

Rachel: I understand.

Tag: How have you been?

Rachel: Well, pretty busy. I had a girl.

Tag: Congratulations. I really mean that.

Rachel: Thanks.

Tag: Who is her father?

Rachel: Ross.

Tag: Ross! You mean you and he . . .

Rachel: Yes. Yes, we did.

Tag: Well you did before, but . . .

Rachel: To spare us both the embarrassments, I'm just gonna go. Bye, Tag.

Tag: Bye Rachel. Take care.

Rachel hurried off with the baby and headed to her apartment.

*~*

Chandler returned later that evening and Monica wasn't in the living room.

Chandler: Monica?

Monica: Just a second!

Chandler could hear bustling around and a few moments later, Monica came out in her bathrobe.

Monica: Hi sweetie!

Chandler: You're still in your bathrobe?

Monica: Uh-huh.

Chandler: Why?

Monica: I was waiting for you.

Chandler: Have you even taken a shower this morning?

Monica: I was getting ready to.

Chandler: Have you been flashing that creepy window washer?

Monica squirmed a little.

Monica: I'm gonna go take a shower!

Chandler: Honey, that poor window guy has been out there all day? He's probably freezing!

Monica: I gave him some cocoa.

Chandler: You made him cocoa? Monica, honey, it is definitely time to shut the curtains.

Monica: Fine. Fine, go shut the curtains.

Chandler sighed and walked into the bedroom. He returned a few moments later and saw that Monica was already in the bathroom, getting ready for a shower. He went back into the bedroom and peered out the curtains. The window washer guy was back to washing the windows.

Chandler shut the curtains again and went over to the bed and sat down.

Chandler: Man, I'm gonna miss that guy!

Realizing how that sounded, Chandler got a disgusted look on his face.

Chandler: Oh my god! I just said that!

He shook his head and left the room.

*~*

Phoebe, walking down the street, looked up to see a window washer washing windows on Chandler and Monica's side of the building.

Phoebe: Oh! Hi Walter! I miss you at my building! You should come back to wash windows for us!

Phoebe continued looking and then headed back to Central Perk to see her friends.