Chapter 2 [Inside of King Arthur's Chamber—Five Minutes Earlier]
As he had for the previous turn of the hourglass, Arthur sat by the foot of his bed. His eyes remained entranced at the bauble in his hand. His fingers twitched and spun it before his eyes.
The bauble….Gwen's ring….
He sighed heavily. Frustration pressed down on his shoulders as if made of stone. Anger flared at his own and his uncle's negotiations and planning. He remained torn between Duty and Love.
On the one hand, Nemeth had negotiated with Camelot in good faith. Rodor had put old grievances aside over the disputed Gedref lands and rebuffs by Uther years before to do the right thing for his daughter. They'd reached the accord quickly after being effectively buried in the negotiations for three months. Now Mithian deserved his undivided attention and loyalty. Didn't she?
On the other hand, his heart screamed "NO!"
Gwen had betrayed him. Arthur slumped his shoulders. Hadn't he found her with Lancelot? He couldn't let her adultery slide. Many other Kings would've had her beheaded, drawn and quartered or burned at the stake for her indiscretion. He'd exiled her granting her some mercy at least. He assumed that she'd find her way and be able to build a life for herself.
Still he longed for her. His heart pulled him toward the window. He wanted to jump on his horse. He ride day and night for months on end if need be. He'd ride until he found her.
Her…his Gwen….
Merlin's words echoed in his ears. "She will be found. You will find her."
Is that Merlin being wise or an idiot? Should I base my own political agenda on his observation or my own personal feelings? The Kingdom demands more than that! He brought his fist down on the table hard.
Merlin's funny feelings, while obnoxious and inconvenient at the time, did pan out more often than not….
Then again (and more importantly), he had the bigger query. The Crown or His Heart? Which one mattered more?
Could he live with himself either way?
Much as another supposedly Unsinkable Vessel would do a millennium and a half later, the supposedly Unbreakable Bond Between Kingdoms had run aground against Amor's Iceberg. It had sputtered along with little grips for Romance's waters churning beneath itself. Alas it was taking on water and would sink. It was only a matter of time.
He nodded to himself. Yes he'd be risking a war with Nemeth. He'd be opening Camelot to enemies who awaited their opportunity to settle scores and old debts. His nobles and knights might wonder where his mind was. However Mithian deserved better than a husband who didn't love her. She'd readily follow Duty's call. Still he couldn't consign her to that kind of a life.
No, if there would be a break, best to make it clean…..
I'll have to tell her at breakfast. He exhaled loudly. His mind now began to wonder about the next step. What can I offer her to soothe the rejection? How do I convince her that it's not her fault? He tapped his fingers on the desk. His mind spun even faster rejecting any thought of sleep. Perhaps he was rejecting her. Still he wouldn't let her leave empty-handed either. If she'd cheated on me, Rodor would pay me reparations. Can I do any less? He shook his head.
A loud knocking at the door interrupted his reverie. "Yes?"
"Sire?" Sir Harold called through the door. "Princess Mithian is here."
Speak of the Princess. Don't lay it on her now. Think through everything. You have to think of what to say first. He frowned wanting to have the next discussion on his terms. Still she'd prompted it. He glanced toward the door. He stuffed the ring in his pocket before answering, "Allow her in. Thank you, Sir Harold. Do so and resume your post."
The door creaked open; every note of its siren tune increasing Dread's hold over Arthur's resolve.
Mithian entered the chamber. Her eyes surveyed what she imagined would be her chamber in the future once the ceremony took place. She nodded with approval at the area. "As always, your taste in décor is astounding, Sire." She bowed respectfully to him. "Good Evening. Forgive my intrusion."
He smiled. "No apologies needed. My chamber door is open to you of course. What can I do for you?"
"I was concerned about your health, my Lord." She cleared her throat. Now that she'd stood face to face with him, Anxiety wracked her resolve. "You'd been overly silent today. I wanted you to know that I care. I know it's not normal for the woman to be so direct but…."
Arthur tensed. Her words and compassion made what was to come all the harder for him. He coughed and turned from her. He walked toward the window. His hand rested on his right hip right above the fateful pocket.
She stared at him. "What have I done, Sire?"
"Princess, you've done nothing. You've been the model of a perfect bride." He gazed toward the partially obscured stars in the sky outside. How can I avoid telling her now? Can I?
"Then face me, my Lord. Please!" she pleaded. Her mind struggled in Desperation's tide which he'd just dropped her into. "Whatever it is, we'll face it together! I'm here for you."
"I know." Arthur breathed in and out. He turned slowly toward her. "I know you'd be there. It's just…it's just someone else."
"Someone? Who?" Her eyes met his. They searched his face for a clue to his cryptic responses. "Perhaps there is something going around the castle. First Merlin acts like he doesn't want to be around me. Now you are as well." She folded her arms across her chest. "You will tell me, Sire. I deserve to know."
If anyone else had pressed him like that, they'd find themselves in the stocks or exiled for their efforts. He'd threatened Merlin with exile for taking Gwen's part in this debate just weeks before. Now he wouldn't tell her what he'd said to me before. The Idiot! "Merlin's just an idiot. He has his moments but you'd get used to them."
As she had on the picnic, Indignation flared within her. Her eyes narrowed. "Sire, Merlin is a loyal servant. He cares about your feelings very much. Yes, I have seen his clumsiness at times. He does talk above his station. Still he is loyal. He is also no idiot. Do not consider him as such!"
Arthur glowered at her. "I treat him better than any servant deserves. Maybe you should be aware of that! I trust him more than I should!"
"A trust he's earned. I've been here for four days. He is like your shadow doing things that most servants wouldn't think of much less be able to do. The truth. He knows what's on your mind, doesn't he?" she insisted.
"Princess, don't push this…."
"The truth, my Lord," she reiterated tersely. Her eyes bore into his. "I'm not leaving until I get it. Merlin never ignored me before tonight. Perhaps he knows? If you won't tell me, I 'll get the answer from him."
Arthur ground his teeth. "I'll speak to him. He will apologize."
"He already has and I am satisfied. Please don't tell him I told you," she requested.
"Agreed." Knowing how Merlin felt about the whole affair, he wondered how the whole 'Gwen should be here and not you' opinion didn't just come out. "Don't involve him."
"Then tell me. If I've done something, let me make it right," she prompted. She ground her teeth. She noted how his hand kept going for the pocket. "Is there something else, my Lord?"
You're not Gwen! He caught himself before he actually came out with that assessment. "Excuse me?" he inquired not understanding.
"Empty your pockets. I want to see what's in there. Obviously you've got something in your right pocket. What is it?" she demanded.
"This is my castle. You will not insist in such ways!" he fired back.
She arched an eyebrow. "Lying to me is a state matter as well. There is something. I deserve to know!" She clenched her fists trying to contain herself. "I am your betrothed! Did you negotiate with my father in good faith or not?"
"I know! I did! I…I…" Arthur cast his head down toward the carpet under his feet avoiding her glare.
She snorted indignantly. Her mouth puckered as if it tasted of a sour apple. "There's another woman. Isn't there?"
He shook his head. "I was going to tell you in the morning," he confessed.
Her heart chilled. She quivered. She batted the tears welling in her eyes. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing them. "Of all the…! We trusted you! We needed this alliance as much as you do! I committed to this course because I am a Princess. I understand the sacrifice involved with our position! Obviously you don't! We don't marry for love! We aren't peasants, Sire!" Jealousy blazed pyres in her eyes.
"I know that!" He fired back. "But it wouldn't be real!"
She coughed angrily. "Such are the sentiments of a love struck boy rather than an adult King! We have DUTY! I have to think of Nemeth! What will my father think? You've humiliated me! And that, Arthur Pendragon, is REAL!" She crossed the room. Like a tidal wave, she rose and got up in his face. "You have no idea what I've been through!" She raised her hand to slap him.
For several heartbeats, her palm hovered in the air.
Then she pulled it back. Anger still burned in her eyes. "No! No matter what I feel or think, I will remember my duty!" She seethed. "You have no idea! And now you never will! Don't trouble yourself any further with my delegation or me, Sire. We will be gone by morning!" She composed herself before departing. She offered him not another glance. She hustled past the two guards and back down the passage toward the stairs beyond.
He rushed out into the hall. He found that she'd already disappeared from his immediate line of sight. Consequence seared his brain with its relentless brand. Guilt squeezed his heart tighter than any snake ever could.
"Sire?" Sir Harold queried expectantly.
Arthur sucked in a breath. He shook off the knight's concern. "It's nothing. The Princess had something that disagreed with her. Resume your post."
Even if he didn't believe that, Sir Harold nodded anxiously. He returned to his place opposite the other soldier.
Arthur shook his head. I'm doomed to be a bachelor. He stalked into the chamber and shut the door angrily in his wake.
Such was the way such things went…..
