Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Thank you lovely reviewers and subscribers :) For those of you who have never read an mPreg fic, I've never written one :) So I'll try to make this as hilarious as possible. nevertheless, I am honored that you chose this fic as your first. And don't worry! The pregnancy should come soon. Just laying some groundwork for now :D


Scorpius saw Albus-in corridors, in classrooms, in the Great Hall and as they left and got onto the train for the new school years.

But he couldn't bring himself to walk up to him, not with the entire Weasley-Potter clan with him, and Al made no move to do so himself. Teachers at Hogwarts had went to school with their fathers, and because the boys looked so much like them they kept them well away from each other. Professor Longbottom, who taught Herbology, had them on-literally-opposite sides of the greenhouse.

They were never partnered for projects, and when they bumped into each other they exchanged nods and went on their way.

Scorpius joined the Quidditch team as seeker in his second year, Albus in his third, when the Griffyndor team needed one.

They played. Albus caught the snitch.

The entire school waited for a fight. Surely now, as rivals, the two would do more than ignore each other? Teachers readied themselves to run out onto the field.

Scorpius cursed viciously enough to make a pirate blush, nearly killed himself diving onto the field and stomped off. Albus shot a grin in his direction and nothing else. The next Gryffindor-Slytherin game, Scorpius caught the snitch, winning the Quidditch Cup.

There was nothing else.

Oh sure, members of the houses fought. But Scorpius stayed aloof and Al unbothered, much to the outrage and dismay of their houses. James Potter, especially, could not understand it.

"Why should we fight? It's just a game, James." Albus said clearly enough for the Great Hall to hear. Then he clapped his brother on the shoulder and went back to his porridge.

Fourth year Scorpius discovered himself.

His eyes followed Trenton Wood and Nathan Thomas and Albus Potter, who'd gotten taller and muscles from Quiddtich. His own body was firm but he was slimmer and smaller than most of the guys in his house. To make up for it, of course, he had his words and his attitude and the fact that he was, as Albus called it, The Slytherin.

He didn't know how his father would react, so he kept it to experiments; quiet fumbles in closets and kisses.

And all the while, Albus Potter drew his attention more and more.

By fifth year Scorpius had what he called Al-Vision. Every bloody time the guy walked into the room, he seemed to look toward him. He knew about the brief sugar quill addiction and liked to joke around and knew most of the teachers outside of school. He didn't like his fame and tried to stay out of the limelight.

The first time he had a girlfriend, Scorpius nearly died.

Literally. Scorp was walking down the hallway, innocently eating a chocolate frog and rounded the corner…

To see Al and Ariana Boot snogging. In the middle of the hallway, where decent folk walked.

His heart gave a painful squeeze, and he felt like he couldn't breathe-

And then he realized that he actually wasn't breathing. He'd inhaled the entire head of the frog and it was in his throat, opening and closing its mouth.

At this point, of course, the couple realized that they weren't alone. Al correctly assessed the red face, teary eyes (possibly not all from the frog-and oh Merlin, how attractive) and throat clutching, and went into action with a quick, "Accio food piece!"

The bit of chocolate flew out of Scorpius's throat and hand and he dropped to the ground, breathing hard.

There was a hand on his shoulder and one under his arm, pulling him up to lean against the wall.

"…you alright?"

Scorpius blinked rapidly, coughed a bit and said in a hoarse voice, "Yeah."

What kind of Slytherin was he? He should have at least dramatized it a bit, pretended that his lung had collapsed-he needed mouth to mouth to feel better-something.

He blamed those thrice be damned eyes for bumbling him up. Should be totally illegal.

"Merlin," Al breathed, still holding him up and still way too bloody close for Scorpius to think properly, "That was a close one."

"See? Gryffindor hero." Scorpius mustered his best smile. The best he could do after having almost-died, of course.

Al blinked those still-long eyelashes and laughed a little. "I guess so. Should I carry you to the nurse?" He teased.

He could if he wanted to. But before Scorpius could say something stupid like, yes, please, and could you maybe bend down a bit more so I can reach those lips, Ariana spoke up.

"Oh my Gods, Albus, you're a hero!"

And Scorpius crashed back to earth.

Straight. Potter. Father would have an aneurysm.

He straightened himself, having caught his breath. "I should go. Thanks, for saving my life and everything."

And he left. And with a supreme force of will, did not look back.

Because he'd realized something, and he needed to go and get himself together before he did something as dreadful and un-Slytherin like as crying.

He was in love with Albus bloody Potter.

After what everyone in the school called "The Great Malfoy Rescue"-the Gryffindors snickeringly, the Slytherins mockingly (Scorpius had to hex a few fourth years that made the mistake of miming the incident in the corridor)- Scorpius resolved to stay away from Albus. His father had been right. Potters were trouble, and there was no chance that his little crush was going to go anywhere. It was better to just squash it now, marry Ella and live the rest of his life following the papers stalker-like, searching for his name. Maybe adopt a few kneazles and name them Asp, Asp Junior, and Alby.

Unfortunately, it soon came clear in sixth year that it was going to be absolutely impossible.

It was as if the teachers had decided, "Hey, they haven't fought, and Albus just saved Scorpius-let's pair them up for everything!"

Potions. Herbology. Transfigurations. Even Care of bloody Magical Creatures, where Al stepped in front of Scorpius to intercept Akala spit. (He'd called the animal, quote, "A stupid, poisonous beast" and it took offense, for some reason. Al had burns on his arms for days, until a salve could be owled. No one ever said that Malfoys were animal people.)

All of them just made Scorpius fall harder and harder. And all the while, Al went though girls like it was going out of style.

It was a conspiracy.

As his father would probably come to the school and pull him out of Hogwarts completely, humiliating him and ruining his love life, Scorpius didn't breathe a word to his parents. He loved his mother, but she couldn't keep a secret to save her life.

The Slytherins and Gryffindors were no happier with the situation than he was.

"But Scorpy," Ella, who still had deigns on his money, whined. "I don't know why you must socialize with that awful Potter every other week. Really, it's absolutely dreadful. You've become the poster boy for house unity, of all things. I can't have a boyfriend who hangs out with Gryffindors!"

Other Slytherins at dinner were nodding. Ella's claws, which had only grown longer and more neatly trimmed over the years, were going to leave marks in his skin.

Scorpius reminded himself that a gentleman does not hex women, even if they are little tarts. "Ella, darling, I don't know how many times I've told you not to bloody call me that. Please remove your hands from my person before I remove them for you."

Ella brought her hands away and stuck out her lips, the bottom one trembling. "But Scorpius..."

"Oh give it a rest, Ellie," Darius rolled his dark eyes, and for a moment, Scorpius thought that the boy was actually being helpful for once in his life. "Everyone knows Scorp practically worships these little meetings. Any sort of alone time with Alby boy is good time."

There were no rules against hexing irritating Zabinis who were too-bloody-close-to-the-truth. Scorpius pointed his wand and muttered a words.

Darius's face swelled up the size of a balloon, distorting his handsome features. His eyes became tiny pinpricks in a brown face and his nose was nearly the size of Scorpius's fist. He looked as if he'd taken a bludger to the face about twenty times.

His on and off girlfriend, Veronica, cackled.

Scorpius was lucky. This was an off week.

The Head of Slytherin, Scorpius's aunt Daphne, swooped down to the table while the entire Great Hall watched. Scorpius hid a smirk. Darius would think twice about opening his fat mouth next time...

"Is there a problem here," she asked, completely ignoring the puffy faced boy.

"No ma'am," Scorpius flashed a handsome smile, "Darius here was just the recipent of an unfortunate joke in his food, that's all."

"He ought to be punished for not looking out," Ella, who had her uses, piped up. "Honestly. This is the table of snakes, for Merlin's sake."

Professor Greengrass swept the table with mossy green eyes. Her long, auburn hair was pulled into a ponytail at the back of her head, and she was attractive, if not a bit stern. Scorpius had once watched Professor Longbottom nearly chew his tongue off saying hello to her.

It was not a bright moment for the Herbology professor. Scorpius'd nearly had to stuff his fist into his mouth to keep from laughing out loud and being detected.

"Go the infirmary," she said finally. "And for Merlin's sake, don't kill yourself on the way there. Can you even see?"

Zabini gurgled something, gave Scorpius an evil look (or something that was supposed to be it-it looked more constipated than evil) and stomped out, sniggers from the other tables following his back.

Aunt Daph waited for a moment. Then, so low that Scorpius could barely hear it, she murmured, "Ten points to Slytherin. Very nice execution of the Engorgio charm, Mr. Malfoy."

No one else his the house dared say anything else.

Later on, in the library, Al was smirking. "So. Zabini looked pretty worse for the wear when he left the Great Hall this evening."

Scorpius shrugged noncommitedly. "I don't know. There's some people that just...irritate the absolute shite out of me."

Al chuckled. "Remind me to never be one of those people. That was one hell of a hex."

"Thank you," Scorpius said primly. "I do try."

There was a moment of silence before they both quietly burst out laughing.


"It's horrible," Scorpius wailed to Faris a few months later, who was, in fact, sorted into Ravenclaw. (It turned out that the stutter was because of the fact that he was afraid of going to Slytherin. Merlin.) Now he was one of Scorpius's closest friends/therapist.

He was the only one who knew about Scorpius's secret.

"That you're in love him?" Faris asked, looking up from his text book.

They were in his dorm, alone with a strong Silencing charm and an Alarm spell for anyone who might approach the door. Scorpius was taking no chances. Ravenclaws were surprisingly vicious eavesdroppers and gossips, only second to Slytherins.

Well, with the exception of Faris. He was the first boy that Scorpius had kissed (Ravenclaws are naturally curious as well.) He thought it was interesting but not his thing, and Scorpius found he was okay with the idea. And things went back to normal.

"Yes! And Faris, I am trying to find something, anything but there's nothing wrong with him! He holds the door open for girls, doesn't pass notes in class-I hate that-and I told you about the Akala spit, right? It was going right for my face. You know how much I love my face."

"Yes, yes." Faris sighed. "Have you considered just telling him?"

Scorpius whirled around, halting in his pacing. "What?"

"What can it hurt," Faris asked. "When you're this hung up on the guy? He's nice, yes? The least he can do is say no and it's the end of the year-it'll be summer, soon, so you can go and deal with your shame then."

Scorpius stared. "I though Ravenclaws were supposed to be smart?"

"I'm just saying." The dark haired boy shrugged. "By the way, your rants are starting to sound just as dramatic as your father's. There's something to think about, huh?"

Great. His therapist had gone mad. And he was starting to sound like his father.

He wanted something cream filled. Now.

Oh wait. He had to meet Albus for their "Study Buddy" appointment. (When he got his hands on the Muggleborn teacher who came up with that name, he was going to strangle them with his bare hands.) They were supposed to be studying for the end of the year tests, meeting in the Room of Requirement in...he cast a quick

Tempus...five minutes. He'd have to run from the Ravenclaw tower, so he'd be all sweaty.

He stifled a groan. All of those books. Even if he put a lightening charm on them, they'd still be cumbersome...

Merlin's wrinkly balls.


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