You're in trouble now!
Disclaimers: I do not own The Inheritance Cycle, The Ranger's Apprentice books or the brief reference to He-Man - (I did it because I hate the show SO MUCH!) - If I did what would be the point of writing fan fictions?
The Fight: A storm of epicness piled into Sunda in the hope that by means of her death they would be set free. With the might of her keyboard she managed to hold them at bay for a short time but soon the number game caught up on her.
Wolf: Wow. That has got to be one of the most epic scenes ever [he picks up a piece of paper and ticks off a 'to do list' entry] the view from up here is really good! - I wonder if I can get phone signal up here? - Sunda is doing a pretty good job of jabbing Arya in the eye with Halt's Saxe Knife! [Yes I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza. Extra crispy.] Ah nice! Eragon accidentally impaled the unconscious body of Murtagh with his sword.
[He then looks at the rating.]
Ah darn it. Better put a stop to this...
[Wolfy walks down the hill and stands next to the ongoing battle]
Wolf: Eh hem. I think I can explain to you how you can get out of here.
[Immediately the fighting stopped and somehow all the injuries disappeared]
Arya: HOW! Tell m- Ah fooey.
Inheritance: Oh dear Gods (and non-existent Gods).
Eragon: IT'S HIM! Oh sweet baloney it's him!
Horace: MAGIC DOESN'T EXIST!
Murty (Now fully conscious): YES IT DOES!
[Horace jumps at Murty and they disappear into a cloud of smoke that clenched fists and boots kept flying out at improbable angles. The cloud of dust moves away from the group and off into the distance.]
Wolf: ...Anyways... Sunda isn't keeping you here; I invited her to do this and so BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL! I HAVE THE POWER!
[He raises a sword into the air and electricity crackles around him. Suddenly his clothes disappeared to be replaced with tight revealing underwear.]
Izzy: MY EYES!
Alyss: MY SOPHISTICATED DISGUST TO MOST THINGS!
Oromis: My innocence!
[Everyone turns to look at him.]
Oromis: Seriously? Come on, seriously? Hairless groin? No attraction to anybody? This means nothing to you?
Eragon: No way. You never hit puberty!
Oromis: What's puberty?
Eragon: [sighs]We're going to have to have a serious talk later.
Will: PUT IT AWAY BEFORE I SHOOT YOU FULL OF ARROWS! [Much to everyone's surprise.]
Crowley: What the hell happened to the 'puppy dog eyed' Will from Chapter 1?
Will: IT'S WRITEN BY A DIFFERENT AUTHOR!
[Will starts foaming at the mouth. Alyss slowly places a plastic bag over Will's nose and mouth.]
Alyss: Take it easy little guy...
Will: [mumbling as he passed out] I'mm. Notttt. Liiiiiiiitllllleeeeee. [He peacefully falls asleep. A nursery theme could be heard in the background.]
Wolf: Oh, sorry about that everyone. I ate Sunda's M&M pen, I've been spurting weirdness all week.
[He raises a hand and his usual fur returns.]
Now, I assume you want to get THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
Sunda: No we don't.
[Everyone turns to look at her.]
Sunda: Wait you guys actually want to leave? You can do anything here!
[She opened her mouth and spat out twelve tonnes of nut-less chocolate brownies.]
Who wants to see me eat this really fast?
Inheritance: NO!
Ranger's Apprentice: Not really, no.
Will (waking up): I hope you CHOKE!
Alyss (placing bag over his head again): Shh, shh, sh.
[Sunda lifts her head up and her mouth expands to the size of a dozen battle-horses. Craning her neck she enveloped the chocolate brownie stash with her mouth and swallowed it in one.]
Sunda: *burp* Oh do excuse me. [She lifted a napkin to her mouth and started to daintily dab around the corners of her mouth.]
Angela (staring into the half crazed eyes of Sunda): We're gunna die aren't we?
Crowley: Yes. Yes we are.
Arya: HOW DO WE GET OUT OF HERE?
Wolf: You must take part in a quest, a quest that I cannot be bothered to come up with and will leave to the attentions of Dautr abr du Sundavar.
Sunda: Yee whaa'?
Wolf: I'll give you ice cream.
Sunda: THEN I'LL DO IT!
Oromis: We are so screwed.
Halt: Hey, what the hell happened to Murty and Horace?
[Meanwhile in the 'Crossover World's' Coldest and Highest Mountain range'!]
Murty: Just accept it! STENR RISA! [A massive rock rises into the air.]
JIERDA! [The massive rock explodes.]
Horace: [With an air of superiority and nose stuck in the air] Clearly you had strings attached to it. Then some kind of explosive was used from the inside. Not the work of magic in the slightest! Case solved by Horace the Super Warrior!
Murty: AHHHHHHHHH!
A/N
Yeah, it's kind of a lazy chapter. I kept hitting writers block and kept falling off the metaphoric, non-existent, pessimistic, onerous, money grabbing, back stabbing, WIFE STEALING, DEMANDING, DISCRIMATING AND LAZY WAGON!
I hate it so much.
Also I won't be writing in script form next chapter (or the chapters that will follow) because I just can't be bothered nor can I write as well with it.
Over to you Daughter of the Shadows
Eragon: My foot.
