A/N: Wow. I was completely blown away by the response to Chapter 1. Thank you so much!
Many of you know that I'm a research junkie, and I strive to make things as accurate as possible. That being said, I realize that there are going to be a few details that don't add up, medically. I've done my research on Danny's blindness as much as possible, but even I am finding myself having to adjust a couple of details in order to fit where I want this story to go. Please suspend disbelief if you read something that you think doesn't make sense. Thanks so much!
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Danny sucked in a breath as his brain registered what Steve had said. "Steve, that's not funny. Come on…turn on the lights." His voice had gone up in pitch, signaling that he was fighting panic. "Steve? Turn them on…please?"
It was Danny's 'please' that got to everyone. Steve sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for Danny's arm, hoping to ground him somehow.
Immediately, Danny stiffened, and Steve could feel the anxiety rolling off of him in waves. Danny grabbed at Steve's hand, fighting to regain control, but failing miserably. One thing that Danny hated was not being in control.
Without warning, he had to reach out for the railing at the side of the bed as a wave of dizziness overtook him. His face blanched, and sweat beaded his forehead and upper lip. Steve and Kono helped him lie back against the pillows, mindful of the IV tube and the various wires that were attached to their friend.
Chin hurried to wet a cloth in the sink, and threw it to Kono, who caught it with one hand. Gently, she wiped at his face, hoping that the cold would help settle the shakiness that had overcome Danny.
Steve watched as Danny closed his eyes and tried to regain his equilibrium, not realizing that it wouldn't help. Steve also wondered if this wasn't claustrophobic in some way for Danny, being in complete and total darkness, having no way of determining where he was or what was around him.
The doctor motioned for the team to step outside while he examined Danny, but none of them had any intention of leaving, especially when Danny held onto his hand for just a moment longer than he had to.
"Steve?" Danny was trying his hardest to sound like he wasn't scared out of his mind, but Steve knew better.
"It's okay. I'm right here. Chin and Kono are here, too. We're not leaving you, Danny." Steve squeezed his hand reassuringly.
Dr. Makah knew that he would be fighting a losing battle if he tried to force any of them out, so he just let the team stay next to Danny on the other side of the bed. After a cursory examination, he tilted his head towards the hallway, giving Steve no option for argument.
"I'll be right back, Danny. Chin and Kono are right here." Even though it looked as if he had started to doze back off, Steve lightly squeezed his arm before following the doctor out into the hall. He found him at the nurse's station, writing some notes into Danny's chart.
"Can you please explain to me just what in the hell is going on?" Steve's frustration was more geared towards himself. Although they had all had head injuries at one point or another, he could not help but feel like he should have insisted that he let him check him more closely for injuries. Okay, so he hadn't complained until the end of the flight, but still…
Dr. Makah turned towards him with a pointed look. He did not need him exploding right now. "Commander McGarrett, you're going to need to step back and take a breath. I'd like to get a more detailed look at his head to see what is going on, so I'm going to send him for a few more tests. I understand your frustration, but until we get those results, we simply don't know what is going on. Rest assured, I will get to the bottom of whatever is happening to your friend. Okay?"
Steve nodded. He knew that he needed to get his emotions under control if he was going to be any help at all to Danny. "Why would he flinch when you were looking into his eyes if he couldn't see the light?"
Dr. Makah shrugged one shoulder. "My guess is that it had more to do with the pain in his head than the actual reaction to the light. He may not have wanted me touching him at all, and that's why he tried to pull away."
Steve nodded, although it wasn't exactly the news he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear that Dr. Makah was not concerned at all—that this was just a minor, temporary setback.
The doctor turned towards Steve, a little more sympathetic to his emotional state of mind. "Is there someone that you need us to call?" He knew that the whole team was here, but also knew that the Governor liked to be informed when one of his task force members was hurt.
Steve shook his head. 'I'll take care of it. I'd rather that the Governor hears it from me."
He nodded slowly. "What about you? Is there anyone else that you'd like to be here with you?"
Steve didn't even respond…his attention was again focused on his best friend. Dr. Makah lightly touched his arm before going back into the room. He needed to get Danny ready for another round of tests.
It wasn't too long before Danny was wheeled from the room once again. And once again, Steve was left to stand and stare through the window. How had things gotten so horribly fucked up? Danny was happy. He had finally begun to feel like he belonged here. Now this happened? It just didn't make any sense.
Wearily, he returned to the same family room as before, and dialed the Governor's private number. At the connection, he softly spoke. "It's McGarrett."
Steve took a deep breath and gave Denning an account of what had gone on, up to the point where they took Danny for more tests. There was no sound on the other end of the line, which was making Steve extremely nervous.
"Sir…"
"Did it ever occur to you that Danny might need medical attention before you took off? Did you ever think that flying with a head injury might not have been the best course of action?" Governor Denning did not raise his voice, but the effect was the same.
"With all due respect, Sir, you're not being fair. I was on that plane with Danny and the rest of the team. Danny had a bump on his head. Just a bump. He was talking and was oriented and showed no signs that anything was wrong, other than a headache when we landed. We've all flown before with bumps on our head, and nothing has ever happened. There was nothing that led us to believe that this was anything different."
Steve was visibly sweating as he finished. Fear and an adrenaline dump tended to do that to him. Fortunately for him, Dr. Makah was on his way back into the room and had caught the end of what quickly was turning into a heated discussion. He held his hand out, motioning for Steve to hand him the phone.
"Sam, stop it." Dr. Makah had known Sam for over a year, and was one of the few who could get away with talking to him like that. "You are way off base with this one. I know Danny is a valued member of your team, and you need someone to blame, but Commander McGarrett is not at fault here. Detective Kelly and Officer Kalakaua are not at fault here. Danny is not at fault here either." He listened for a few more moments before disconnecting the call and handing Steve his phone.
Dr. Makah gave Steve a minute to calm down before telling him, "Danny is on his way back. From what we can tell on the scan, he's got some swelling in the back of his brain which is pressing on a band of optic nerves, compromising his sight. We have every hope that once the swelling goes down, his sight will return. I'm going to start him on some IV steroids, which hopefully will help reduce that swelling. I'm also going to arrange for his transfer to Tripler, where they have doctors who are more qualified to take on these types of brain injuries. He's probably going to be scared, angry and frustrated…he doesn't need you and the Governor fighting over who was at fault. If you want to blame someone, why not take care of the person responsible for doing this to him? He's going to need your support over the next days and weeks. This is not going to be easy for any of you, and the more you quit bitching at each other and try to work together, the better off everyone will be."
Dr. Makah gestured towards the hallway, where Danny was now being wheeled back in. His eyes were half-lidded, suggesting that he was either just waking up or was headed off to sleep once again.
The cousins stepped out while they got Danny settled back into his room. While they stood in the hallway, Steve looked at them and just shook his head. "How? How did things get like this? Danny has more time with Grace. He could take her and do things with her. He finally admitted that he didn't hate the island. And now…" He stopped mid sentence, feeling a flush of rage sweep through him. He needed to get some air…to try to clear his head before he went in to sit with Danny.
Glancing at Chin, he quietly asked, "Can you guys stay with him? I need a few minutes."
Chin nodded. Danny was their friend as well, and as much as he didn't particularly like hospitals, he hated the thought of Danny, sightless and alone, even more. "Take all the time you need, okay?"
Steve agreed as he headed for the stairwell. He wasn't sure where he was headed, but figured he'd know once he got there.
Chin and Kono spent a good ten minutes in with Danny, and during those ten minutes, felt more sadness than they had in a long time where their friend was concerned. Danny, who was larger than life, just looked empty. They both waited until the nurses were through getting him settled before sitting rigidly on either side of the bed. Gently, Kono picked up his hand and lightly brushed her thumb along his knuckles.
"Danny? Can you hear me?"
One of the nurses was finishing up her charting and let Kono know that they had given him a mild sedative so that he would be still during the tests. He was most likely sleeping soundly. As the nurse was leaving the room, Chin nodded briefly at her before turning to face Danny.
Looking closely at his friend, he saw that Danny seemed to be asleep. They had cleaned the cuts on his face, and had placed a small gauze square over the bump. He would hate the feeling of the tape in his hair, but at least they didn't have to shave his head. Chin quietly shifted to the chair next to his bed, while Kono kept her seat next to Danny's hip.
He placed his elbows on his knees and whispered. "I know this isn't at all about me or Kono, but I'm not too sure that we can do this. I don't know how to sit here and wait and watch, not knowing if you're going to be okay. You're family…ohana…you know?"
Chin took a slow breath, fiercely stuffing his emotions down deep.
Kono picked up the conversation where Chin left off. "I'm not actually convinced that Steve can function without you to keep him in line, brah, although obviously he would tell us all different. And if he can't function, we both know that we're going to have to be the ones to take care of him. And we also both know that you're much better at being his partner than either of us ever could be. So just wake up soon and let us know that you're going to be okay, you hear me?"
Steve caught the tail end of Kono's words as he came in, and immediately glanced at Danny. "How is he?" Steve took a drink from a bottle of water that he was carrying. He had set his tea down on the side table, but was working to finish the rest of the water.
Kono raised one eyebrow at Steve's sweaty, disheveled look. She wasn't even going to ask where he had gone, but waited him out until he finally spoke again.
"I ran the stairs to the roof." Steve said that like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Chin and Kono looked at each other and shook their head. They knew that they were both going to have to keep an eye on Steve – it wouldn't do any of them any good if he pushed himself into the ground.
Steve glanced at his watch. "Why don't you two run home and get cleaned up. I'll keep watch tonight. I'm not sure when they're going to move him to Tripler, but I'll call you as soon as they do, okay?"
Chin nodded. "Do you want me to grab your bag from the truck? Maybe get Danny's too, in case he wakes and needs anything. I can stop by your house and pick up some more clothes and bring them tomorrow."
Steve hadn't even thought about that, but appreciated that Chin was one step ahead. He tossed him the truck keys. "Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks, you two."
Kono stepped over and gave him a quick hug, before doing the same – albeit a bit more carefully – to Danny. "Take care of him…and you, too. I mean it, Steve. I'm already worried about Danny – I don't want to have to worry about you not taking care of yourself, too."
Steve threw an arm around her shoulder and kissed the side of her head. "I'll be okay. Danny's going to need us, so I'm not going to do anything stupid here. If I don't remember my limits, feel free to remind me, however you see fit, okay?" He smiled as she nodded and made sure she had everything she came with.
The two cousins left Danny's room to go and grab the bags from the truck, leaving Steve to wander closer to Danny's bed and stare down at his best friend. On the outside, Steve's expression was like a blank canvas. Years of experience had taught him to keep his emotions in check, and to the casual observer, he looked like he was just quietly visiting his ill friend. No one could tell that he was tortured inside at the thought of his friend having to face a life filled with darkness. Danny had already had so much figurative darkness in his life at the hands of the crap life had thrown at him, and now potentially to have to live his life spent in literal darkness was almost more than he could bear.
No one could tell just how helpless he felt at not being able to do anything to fix this for him. No pleading, deal making, threatening, or torturing would fix the unfixable. He knew that if Danny was going to survive this, he was going to have to figure a way through this on his own. He was going to have to rely on his own strength to see things through.
Sometime while Steve was lost in his internal monologue, Danny had come to. He didn't let anyone know that she was awake, however – hell, he didn't even know if anyone was in the room with him. He was still trying to make sense of everything that had happened, and wasn't having much luck. He remembered flying home, and remembered having a headache but that was about it. All he knew was that he currently couldn't see anything, and was freaking the hell out.
As far as he could tell, no one was saying anything to him about whether it was permanent or not – but again, he didn't remember much after the drive to the hospital and then waking up in the dark. He had some huge gaps, and for all he knew, he had carried on detailed conversations with the doctor about the darkness. One thing he did remember was the doctor telling him that he had to be patient, and that things should get better with time. Well should was not a word that he dealt with very easily.
His mind shifted to his daughter, and without warning, he found himself having a hard time containing his anxiety. He suddenly realized that if this was a permanent new normal, he would never physically see his baby girl again. He would never watch her grow up. He would never watch her graduate from high school. He wouldn't go with her on college tours. He would never see her as a bride. He would never see her as a mom. He would never see his grandchild.
Vaguely, he heard a high-pitched beep and felt a familiar hand on his chest, and realized that his heart monitor was screaming its alarm. His cheeks felt wet, and he was mortified to realize that he had been crying. He could feel himself trembling with the force of trying not to break down, wanting...no, needing to get himself under control.
"It's okay, Danny. Just try to slow your breathing down, okay?" Steve's voice was calm. He could see that Danny had just gotten a cold splash of reality, and understandably, was not doing very well.
Danny's resolve to stay strong lasted mere seconds before the first sob choked from his throat. It was quickly followed by another, and then another, until he had his hands fisted in the sheets and was trying to claw his way out of the dark.
Steve sat on the edge of the bed, and tugged at Danny's shoulders until he was more upright. Not caring about anything other than comforting his brother, Steve gathered Danny into a tight hug. No words were needed, but as Danny broke down, Steve knew that this was only the beginning…that it was going to get much, much worse before it ever got better. And that scared the living shit out of him.
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