Chapter Two – Set Up
Helga was walking home from school later that day when she heard someone running up from behind. She turned to look and saw Harold huffing and puffing his way toward her as quickly as his bulky frame would allow.
"What do you want, fatso?" she asked rudely.
"Who're you callin' fatso?" he wailed. "I'm not fat!"
"Harold, please," she replied with a roll of her eyes, "you're way too far gone to be in denial."
He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, then closed it again, thinking it best not to anger this girl. God knows, the last person who'd gotten on her bad side had ended up in a trash can with their hands and feet tied together. Harold might have been a little on the slow side, but he knew better than to push his luck without ensuring his safety. That meant, of course, revealing the ace he had hidden up his sleeve.
Helga got tired of seeing him stare off into space after so long and turned to leave. This brought him quickly out of his thoughts.
"Wait, Helga!" he cried.
"What?!" she screamed, turning back to face him.
"I know something about you," he said finally, giving her quite the mischievous grin, "and I don't think you want me telling people."
Helga scoffed at this. The idea that this tub of lard could remember his own last name, let alone retain knowledge of any importance, was ridiculous. The idea that he was trying to blackmail her was unbearably funny.
"Oh, right, Harold," she sneered, "and what could you possibly know?"
He didn't answer right away. He suddenly seemed more interested in a nearby bush than in the conversation at hand. Figures; the stupid lump had the attention span of a sack of bricks. She decided he was just bluffing her as part of some idiotic practical joke and turned to leave again.
"IknowyouloveArnold!" he blurted out, which caused her to stop in her tracks.
"What did you say?" she growled without turning around. Harold could tell by the sound of her voice that she was grinding her teeth.
"I said….I know you love Arnold," he stated.
She turned to look at him and saw the nasty expression spread across his face. She knew without a doubt that he wasn't bluffing, wasn't lying, and wasn't trying to trick her in some hare-brained way into doing his bidding. He knew!
"How?"
Harold described to her how he came to be in the bathroom stall earlier that day. He had been making a comment about Big Patty being so ugly it looked like a mule had kicked her in the head. Unfortunately, the girl overheard said statement and went after him. She ran through the entire school trying to catch him, swearing with each step that she'd tear him in half. Desperate to get away, he zoomed around a corner and into a girl's bathroom because, hey, who'd think to look for a boy in a girl's bathroom?
Helga was dumbstruck. This could not be happening. No, this was just a variation of that same nightmare, only instead of giant statues she was being blackmailed by Harold, who knew her deepest, darkest secret. She'd wake up soon in a cold sweat and breath a sigh of relief.
Anytime now it will be over, she thought, closing her eyes tight.
When nothing happened, she opened her eyes and saw Harold still standing there. He was looking at that stupid bush again, as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world.
"Forget the bush, Harold!" she shouted at him. "What are your demands? What do you want?"
"Oh," he said, looking back at her. "Well, it's not much, really. I just want you to be nicer to me from now on."
"That's it?"
"And get me a case of sticky buns."
"Anything else?" she snarled.
"Since you asked, how about a few of those chocolate sodas?"
She was starting to get angry. Not much? The case of sticky buns alone would cost her about ten bucks. Add in the cost of "a few of those chocolate sodas" and she was looking at spending fifteen bucks to keep this lardo's mouth shut.
"All right," she said, scowling at him, "bu---"
He was staring at the bush yet again. She finally snapped and dragged him over to the blasted thing by his chubby arm.
"For crying out loud, Harold!" she barked, pulling the foliage apart with her free hand. "There is nothing special about this…."
Her words caught in her throat like an over-sized chunk of beef, for there, sitting in the bushes, was Curly. For the second time today, she had been spied upon and she was furious.
"I don't believe this!" she moaned.
"Believe it, Helga!" Curly cackled, jumping gleefully from his hiding place. "Now I know everything!"
Something about this seemed…off. How had Curly known to hide in that bush? Why had Harold kept staring over at it through their entire conversation? She knew that she had been careless once today, but she was not about to believe that she had been that careless.
All the pieces seemed to click into place at once and she turned to Harold, her face red.
"You set me up, fat boy!" she yelled, advancing on him.
"Please, Helga," he pleaded, backing away, "nobody would believe me and this was the only way to prove it."
His stupidity was only matched by the size of his stomach. Oh, he was going to pay dearly for this!
"Harold," she said, cracking her knuckles, "let me give you a little advice. When someone gets angry enough to hurt you for spilling the beans to one person, it isn't in your best interest to admit to telling more people!"
"Beating me up won't change any of this," he said, still backing up.
"True," she said, "but it'll make me feel better."
Harold's world went black an instant later as something very hard collided with the side of his head. That settled, she turned to deal with Curly, but found him hopping merrily away like some kind of leprechaun, cackling wickedly at her.
"You'll never catch me," she heard him taunt. "Never catch me! Never catch meeeeee!"
Her heart sank. She'd never catch him, and she knew it. By this time tomorrow, the news of her infatuation with Arnold would be all over the school. She knew there was no chance of covering it up this time. She had gone through some insane situations to keep Arnold from finding out. Some of her most memorable had involved breaking into his house to either try and steal something back or try and erase something.
"That's it, then," she said sadly, "after all my efforts, all my troubles, all my tears, he'll finally find out."
She walked slowly down the street toward their neighborhood, knowing that after tomorrow it would never be the same again. Everyone would know, and they would stare at her, and some would even laugh; she was sure of it. She could throw her weight around sometimes, but she couldn't bully all of them.
She sank onto a bench in the park and put her face in her hands. Life could not get any worse.
"Hey, are you okay?" she heard a familiar voice ask.
She looked up and saw Arnold standing there, looking at her with concern. Her instincts immediately kicked in and she scowled at him.
"What's it to you, football head?" she asked angrily.
"Nothing," he said, rolling his eyes, "forget it."
Why had she done that? There was no reason to keep up this act anymore.
"Arnold," she called gently, causing him to stop and look over his shoulder, "I'm sorry. Please come sit down?"
He eyed her warily for a second before nodding and turning to walk back to her bench. He sat down beside her and gave her a weak smile.
"I'm in trouble, Arnold," she said.
"What happened?"
"Well, I've been keeping this secret for a long time," Helga explained, "and I was talking to Phoebe about it in the bathroom at lunch, but Harold overheard me."
"Harold was in the girls' bathroom?"
"Yes," she continued, "he was. He heard everything I said, but nobody would believe him, so he had Curly hide in the bushes while he pretended to blackmail me."
"That's awfully clever," Arnold said. "Makes me wonder if Harold was the one who came up with it."
"It doesn't matter who came up with it!" Helga said impatiently. "Curly's going to tell everyone!"
Arnold rubbed his chin and pondered this one. He had helped a lot of people in his time, and had even done things that people had thought were impossible, but there didn't seem to be any solution to this one. Curly was mean, cold-hearted, and crazy; if he had somebody's secret, it was almost guaranteed that he would tell it to everyone who would listen.
"I'm sorry, Helga," he said soothingly, "is there anything I can do?"
To his surprise, she smiled warmly at him and nodded.
"You and I could let bygones be bygones and be friends…for today, at least."
"Sure, Helga," Arnold said, returning her smile.
Together, they got up and walked out of the park.
Chapter Three is coming very soon! Oh, things are going to get so interesting. Till next time, my friends….
