TWO: LUCIUS

Lucius Malfoy enters the room. The crowd cheers once again

LUCIUS: Bellatrix! What is going on with you? I can hear you form the other side of the manor! And who are all these people clapping?

VO: Know your wizards. Know your lizards. Know your gizzards. Know your Death Eaters

LUCIUS: Huh?

BELLATRIX: It's him! That bloody git! Quick, Lucius. Help me find him. I WANT TO KILL HIM! He's somewhere in this room. I just know it.

VO: Lucius Malfoy. His natural hair color is periwinkle.

LUCIUS: Are you color blind? My hair color is white-blond and I assure you it is my natural hair color.

VO: Lucius Malfoy. His favorite color is Hot Pink.

LUCIUS: No it isn't. It's black and green – the Malfoy family colors which are in honor of Salazar Slytherin. *smiles proudly* Everyone in the family is a Slytherin

VO: Lucius Malfoy. He was a Hufflepuff

LUCIUS: Did you not hear what I just said? I said everyone in the family was a Slytherin and that includes me. I was even a prefect and a head boy

VO: Oh, my bad.

LUCIUS: It is indeed.

VO: Lucius Malfoy. He was a Hufflepuff prefect and head boy.

LUCIUS: You ignorant little twat! Do I have to repeat myself every single time? I said I was a Slytherin! Hufflepuff is for mudbloods.

VO: Lucius Malfoy. He is a mudblood.

LUCIUS: HOW DARE YOU! I am a Malfoy! I belong to one of the oldest and most prominent pureblood wizarding families. I refuse to be talked about that way! If my father were here he-

VO: *Darth Vader voice* Luke, I am your father.

LUCIUS: YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER AND DO NOT CALL ME LUKE! MU NAME IS LUCIUS!

VO: Whatever you say, Luke

LUCIUS: RRAAAAAAAAGH!

VO: Now you know Luke Malfoy

*the audience cheers*

LUCIUS: No they don't! You know nothing about me!