Ballad of the Peony

Chapter 2

My Lover


"Wait a minute…Brother Zhao, if while my mother narrated, she haven't met you yet, how is it that you know about her before you met her?" It was always 'Brother Zhao', Yi Cao never once called him by his style name out of the deep respect he had for him and his sister in law. After all, after his mother and father passed, there was no one else other than Brother Zhao and Brother Shi.

"Well the first thing I should say is, I'm not narrating anymore, remember?" Though of his old age, much older than his twelve year old brother, he was still as playful as always. "Besides, even though I haven't met her yet, doesn't mean that her return to Luoyang isn't important."

"Then what is so important about it?" Yi Cao quirked a brow at Sima Zhao.

"Tsk, tsk…" Zhao sighed, "Yi Cao, didn't you want to find out who you really were? Her return to Luoyang Province tells you that she is the daughter of the Wei Emperor, Cao Pi, which means that you are the grandson of Wei Emperor Cao Pi as well as the great grandson of Wei Emperor Cao Cao."

"Oh! That man that we all read about in our history lessons?!"

Zhao laughed out loud in the night, perhaps waking up some of the citizens. "Yes! Yi Cao, just who do you think you were named after?"

Yi Cao only stared at his aged older brother and shrugged, waving his fingers about… "…iunno…" He supposed that that would make a lot more sense than any conclusion he had came up with in his mind.

"Not only that, upon her arrival to Luoyang, it was when she first noticeably began to encounter our father."

The wind blew at the faces of the two men, rising up to the moon before the moon went to bed and the sun woke up…

It's been a month since my return to Luoyang Province. I have yet to leave this place. I don't have any plans to do so yet either. I am still mourning. Today will be my last day.

My father was buried beside my mother. Yuanzhong, Rui's style name, and I thought this was most fitting, after all, what children wouldn't want their parents to be together, even in the after life.

I squatted down, folding up my dark robes beneath me so the wind could not lift them. I covered a candle as I lighted incense and stuck them in the bowls of rice grains for both my mother and my father. Of course I had not forgotten my very own grandfather. I left them all food and wine, not as an offering, but as a gift. I stood up and sighed as I stared at the graves, pulling off the dark, shear veil and bowed again. I will not offer to my family, but give to them, this is the way I see it.

I said my farewells to the dead and turned away to return home, to move on with my life, but I will never forget them.

It's a humid day, I was not to travel by myself. The ides of summer in Luoyang Province is a beautiful summer, I believe. The sun comes out and though they maybe have died, the flowers and trees come back to life again. There is beauty in death, I believe, that when trees and flowers die, someday, they can come back to life again. There is no living without the dead. …there is no dead without the living.

If only…if only our dead could once more live again… Just like the dead and barren fields in the fall and winter becoming full of color in the spring and summer.

If only…

And if only if-only's could truly exist. But that is the wish of a selfish child and unfortunately that is not the way man can be…like the trees in the winter to the spring….

Followed by ladies in waiting, I had returned to the palace to read a book. A book of poetry. There is nothing more romantic than books of poetry compared to historical documents and books of strategies. Then again, all or most forms of writing are all written by men, it is a shame that there are no ladies who write to excite the fancies of women all over China. For now, poetry will have to do.

Forgetting myself and where I was, I sat on a window sill and read quietly, leaning against a pillar. The cool summer breeze blew against my fair skinned face as the hot sun shown down on me.

"Be careful…" I gasped in shock as a hand laid itself on my shoulder. I stared down, out the window, in fright. "You'll burn yourself in the sun…" I turned to see who it was that startled me only to come face to face with the who was with me and my father that night he had passed. The Lord Sima Yi, he was called. My brother made him the Marques of Wuyang. His eyes looked past mine, out the window, down to where I could have fallen. It was a very long way down. "…or fall to your doom."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the sill, clearing his throat as I dusted myself. "My Lord, you've startled me." I bowed to him slightly.

"A book of poetry?" He seemed surprised by the book in my hands yet not very surprised at the same time. After all, what are women expected to read in their spare time? Old documents of a drunkard who became a master of martial arts? "I didn't think the Princess of Dongxiang enjoys her spare time reading poetry."

I could hear him chuckle as I look back up at him. "Forgive me, my Lord, but if not poetry, then what are women expected to read when they have time to waste? Boring old books of simply elaborated strategies like Art of War by Sun Tsu?"

"I've never meant to insult you, Princess Pei Pei, but I've imagined you differently than a typical noble woman. Perhaps I was wrong in my judgment this time." He stood tall and straight, smiling to himself.

I frowned a little, I wasn't mad or anything, but just looking at him, it's hard to tell what he's really thinking of inside his head. "My Lord, may I ask, what business do you have with me? Or was it only to warn me for my own well being?"

His eyes stared down at me, he chuckled beneath his breath as he leaned down to me. "Please, Princess, 'Zhongda', if you may." My eyes stared at him in slight amusement before smiling. "Is it wrong for a man to look after the well being of a beautiful woman?" He stood back up and sighed quietly. "Your brother has returned to Luoyang, I simply came to escort you, Princess." He turned and held and arm out for me, "If you'd except my invitation? There wouldn't be a need for your ladies in waiting, you'll be alright with me."

I looked back to my ladies in waiting before grabbing onto his arm. My ladies in waiting bowed to me as he lead me down the long hall. I stared out the windows, seeing the cavalry returning. Yes, my brother had returned. I sighed a little, watching my breath turn into steam, dissipating away into thin air.

I could feel the heat from his body beside me. I was cold… I was fought the urge to move closer beside him. After all, it would be embarrassing for a young woman like me, who is still mourning, to even be so intimately close to a married man.

"I can't help but recall, I remember you when my grandfather was the Emperor of Wei as well." Yes, he looked very young for an aged man,. Why looks can be so deceiving.

"Yes, I've served under the Cao family even when your grandfather became the Emperor of Wei." I looked up at him in surprise. "Who would think that the granddaughter of such an ambitious man would be quite so beautiful. Then again, I am not surprised, you are your mother's daughter after all."

"Lord Sima Yi," though he asked of me, I didn't feel familiar enough to call him by his style name, "what did you mean when you said you imagined me differently than any other typical noble woman?"

He chuckled, "Why, I imagined a spirited young woman, a girl who's got a brain and always speaks her mind." I frowned to him, and when he saw my expression, he laughed. A handsome laugh his laughs were. "My judgment was only partially correct." I frowned even more at him. "You may not always speak what's in your mind, but you always show what's in your mind, and you think me handsome, do you not?" He had caught me by surprised, and when he saw my expression, he laughed and gently pushed me against the wall, he leaned close to my ear to whisper to me, "I am right, am I not?" I shuddered to his low chuckle.

"My Lord, do you always believe you are right when you catch someone by surprise?" He stared down at me as I kept my eyes at our toes. It's not like I've never been in this situation on my own before… "That is hardly the case at all…"

"Oh?" He quirked a brow at me.

"I thought you young for your age." My eyes roamed around, looking for a way to escape his block. "If anything, I'd say you are trying to woo me by trying to manipulate me."

"And what if to say I was?"

"Then…" I thought for a moment before a chill ran up my spine, I could feel his nose tracing down my neck. My eyes shut tightly as I clenched my teeth. "…then I'd call you 'father'!" That stopped him…

I could see his eyes widen slightly before his lips twitched into a laugh. "Why, you sure know how to stab a man's heart when he tries to woo you."

"Why, Father, do you not believe I've been in such a situation before?" I dared not to look at him. I could feel him glare at me, and that was why I was afraid to look at him. Whether or not I've been in such a situation, it does not mean that I was not afraid. In fact…because it's someone like him of his status…of his position…that I am even more afraid… "I only wish to be wooed by a gentleman."

"And how does a gentleman woo a woman?"

I looked over to him and smiled a little, "By asking my father for permission?"

His eyes narrowed as he huffed in amusement, "And how can a man receive your father's permission when he's already passed?"

I pushed his arm away and smiled at him, "Then perhaps you should ask my brother, but even if you do, it does not mean that I would accept you." I pulled my black veil back over my head. "My Lord, it seems you've forgotten that I am still mourning, I believe that wooing a woman who is still mourning is even lower than a scum. If anything, I will be fine, on my own, to meet my brother." I continued down the flight of stairs slowly with my head held tall, I dared not to look back at him. "And you are married, my Lord, to four wives." I smiled slightly, feeling a glare at my back. Passing by Lady Guo, my eyes smiled at her softly as she furrowed her brows at me. My eyes brightened to the site of my brother walking up to me, taking off his feathered helmet, handing it to a maid servant. I stood where I was and held my arms to him as he came to hug me and lift me into a turn. "Ge Ge! You've returned!"

"How has my dear sister been while I've been gone?" He set me down and took my hand, leading me away from the ogling soldiers and generals that have returned with him. They have begun to take off their armors and show off their well toned torsos.

Only for their amusement, I smiled at them and turned to face forward and continue my stroll with Brother Yuanzhong.. "I've been well, Yuanzhong Ge Ge, but I've been reading the most boring poems I could ever find in the palace." Yuanzhong, his style name. I've only recently just learnt of it since it was given to him during my years of absence.

"Oh? Is that so? Perhaps I should take you out to the market one day and buy you some new poetry books then."

I chuckled to his words, "Poetry is not what I want to read. If only they had more options for ladies with nothing to do to read."

Cao Rui gave a out a laugh, "Why, taking you out to the market place was only an excuse to show off my beautiful sister. But if you feel that way about books, perhaps you should write things perhaps you and other women would fancy"

I thought about it for a little bit before grinning, "Perhaps someday I will do just that."

We went up the flights of stairs and we stopped by his chambers, or his new chambers. My father's chamber was cleared away and his belongings were put in a safe. And so then, Rui was moved into our father's room.

When we reached his room, he turned to me and stared down at me. Slowly he pulled off my veil and smiled down at me. "It's about time my baby sister stops mourning." I looked down and nodded a little before looking back up to him. "You look more like our mother every time I see you."

I looked him in the eyes and smiled, "But I am still Pei Pei."

He chuckled, "Of course." He patted my head, obviously being quite taller than I am and smiled. "Prepare for the feast tonight, you will be formally reintroduced to the rest of Wei." I smiled to him as he turned to enter his room, perhaps preparing as well or taking care of any other business he had. I sighed and stared down before turning away, only to see my step mother across the hall, having kept watch over us.

Lady Guo motioned for me to come to her and she turned around. I sighed once more, approaching her and we walked together through the opened halls. "I see you've been silently seducing the men at this court."

I smiled a little, keeping my face forward, "Oh, please, I am not so scandalous as you seemed to have convinced yourself."

"Perhaps more than I've been assuming." I adverted my eyes, slightly annoyed by her words. "After all, being close to a married man who has children your age."

"It seems that you are mistaken, it was not I who approached him." I closed my eyes and stopped, and when she noticed, she turned around and looked at me. I opened my eyes and stared at her, my brows began to furrow at her. "I will not do to his wives, what you did to my mother."

Her head jerked back a little, seemingly surprised by my words before she waved them off. "Come with me, we must prepare you for tonight's feast." I followed after her to her room where a maid servant pulled the door open for us. Her ladies in waiting quickly got up and began setting up her vanity table. "Sit." Lady Guo took off her coat and pulled her sleeves up as I sat down and stared at the mirror. She approached and held onto my chin. "You certainly do look like your mother, but you have your father's eyes." Her ladies brought another stool for her to sit down as she took a brush and began to brush though my long and dark locks. I only sat there quietly as she did my hair for me, pulling everything up in a complicated up do. She decorated my hair with artificial flowers, made of gold and silver as well as pearls and sparkling jewels.

I stared down at her cosmetics as she began to apply some on me. "I do not mean to dishonor your kindness, Lady Guo, but why are you doing this?"

The older woman, still elegant and beautiful, sighed as she tinted my red lips with gold. "Because I do not have a daughter of my own to do such things with, and you no longer have a mother who will look after you." She looked into the mirror with me. Over the month, she seemed to have calmed down to my existence. "And Princess Xiang Hua has her own mother and is already married. I thought I'd do something nice for my other daughter."

"If you think you can replace my mother—"

"Oh, my dear child, that is far much more than I am hoping for." She got up and went to her closet, looking through her robes. "It's more of a truce. A woman, helping out another one." She pulled out some blue and white robes, placing them in my hands. "I'm sure that you can dress yourself. I'll see you tonight." I stood up and bowed to her before leaving the room as the servants opened up the doors for me. Staring down at the clothes, I made my way across the open hall to my chambers, thinking about what she could be meaning, a truce. This small act of kindness from the Empress Dowager herself. Servants quickly rushed by to open my room for me, and as I lounged there by myself as candle light began to light up the palace, I took off the dark robes I had been strolling in all day, looking at myself in the mirror, holding up Lady Guo's robes against me before tossing them on the bed. I looked at myself and though to myself a little more before opening a drawer at my vanity table, pulling out a jeweled peacock. I pulled off the large jeweled peony that my step mother had decorated my hair with and replaced it with the peacock. It was my mother's most treasured hair ornament, presented to her by my father himself. She gave it to me in the hopes that I could sell it but I didn't. I couldn't have, and now that I still have it. I can wear it in the honor of my mother. I turned around in my dim room, walking towards my closet, opening it up and searching through the bottom drawer, pulling out a box. My mother's robes, they looked as though they were still brand new.

I truly do miss my mother so…


"It's been a while since I've seen the princess, I mean, after all, to know that Princess Pei Pei is still alive after the tragedy of Lady Zhen, why, that's a relief!"

"Yes, it is. The late Emperor couldn't have been more pleased with her return." The tall and beautiful Empress Dowager smiled as she made small chit chat with those who attended the banquet this evening, giving only the best impressions with expressions that told no secrets. "My late husband adored Princess Pei Pei as though she were the world."

"I'm not surprised, after all, her mother is the beautiful Lady Zhen." Men and women laughed as though that was the most obviously thing in the world.

Empress Dowager Guo only stare before giving a soft grin, trying to hide in her jealously of her late husband's beloved first wife. "Yes, she is."

Doors opened and then eunuch who had accompanied me announced my arrival. Everyone within the banquet room only turned and stared, some making quiet whispers to others. I only smiled at them and bowed my head, "Forgive me for my late arrival." I ignored the troubled expression on my step mother's face and walked in, joining my older brother and his wife, Princess Yu. As Rui and his wife laughed, I turned my head to watch the dancing figure, performing tonight. A concubine of my brother's, it's not unusual that she was beautiful.

"Princess?" I turned my head back and stared up at the young man, who had been questioning me. He seemed to be younger than me by a few years ago, obviously quite boyish. Beside him stood a more quiet man, perhaps the same age I was.

When I made eye contact with him, he immediately averted his eyes and frowned. I only smiled back to the younger one and bowed my head, "Forgive me, I had spaced out. If you don't mind repeating your question." A lot of guests were asking me questions tonight.

He laughed out loud, perhaps being the most joyful attending this banquet, and grinned down at me, making me want to shrink down even more because he was obviously taller than I was. I, unfortunately, seemed to have stopped growing, at least in height. "I had asked, Lady…" He began to trail off.

I only smiled at him, "Cao." Perhaps he thought I'd go by a different name, but instead, I used my father's name.

"Lady Cao." He quickly nudged the other man with his arm, continuing to stare down at me. "I was asking how old you were."

The other rolled his eyes and pushed at the more outgoing one, "Don't you know it's rude to ask a woman her age?" Though he muttered it beneath his breath, I heard it and began to laugh with Rui and his wife. He only frowned even more deeply and turned to look away.

"You're the one who wanted to know…" That earned him a scowl.

"If you must know, I will be turning eighteen when the peonies are in bloom again." I bowed my head to them and held my sleeve over my face, trying to contain the little laughter that threaten to burst out into big ones. "May I ask, it's been a long while since I've been home, but how may I address you two?"

"Ah! Forgive us, Princess! We're brothers! That's great, your age, I mean!" Oh? The younger one gave a wide grin and pointed to himself, "You can call me Zhao! And this is my brother, Sima Shi! He's super smart and responsible!" He pointed to his older brother. "Pss, he likes barbeque pork buns."

"Would you shut it!"

I only stared at the two brothers, a bit confused, as the bickered with one another until a very familiar man came by and slapped them on their heads with a fan. The both winced, and only the younger one gave a verbal reaction. "You two are embarrassing me. Apologize!"

"Sorry." "Sorry, Father."

I looked up at the regent before, bowing my head, "My Lord."

"Forgive me, Princess, but these two are still young and immature."

"Pei Pei, I need to greet some guest, I'll leave you to the care of Lord Sima Yi." I nod to my brother as he and Princess Yu walked off to greet arriving guests.

"Now go and stay with your mother." I watched as the well known strategist shooed off the his two sons as they walked away, bickering quietly amongst themselves.

"Your sons are quite friendly." I smiled, continuing to watch Sima Zhao and Sima Shi walk away, while the younger began to complain. "I don't suppose you've come to me once again for small talk?"

"Why, Pei Pei, you seem to know so much of my intentions already, perhaps someday I'll bend to your request and ask your brother for approval."

"It was not a request, My Lord, only a helpful advice." I frowned at him, calling me by my name as though we were already close.

"You sure know how to lead on a man." He followed me as I walked off to pick up a plate and fill it with fruits. In the hopes that his sons would come back to us, or someone from the younger generation, or so, I looked back to where his sons gone off too, standing around in boredom with a tall and very beautiful lady, her eyes met mine and they narrowed. "You're not as straightforward as I thought you were."

I turned to look at the older man, eye to eye seriously, "Shouldn't you be with your wife?"

He chuckled to that, "Sooner or later, you will be my wife. Or, at least, one of them."

"My Lord," I held the plate of fruits out to him as he took it, quirking a brow at me. I smiled at him, "You will stop your harassment now, Father, others would think it very inappropriate of you to try to come close to a woman who is still mourning her father and mother."

"And a month's already gone by, I see no point in wasting away your youth. As your grandfather would say, time is off the essence, is it not?"

I stared up at him, crossing my arms before a smile made it's way to my lips, "And it seems your essence is running out."

"So the Princess is capable of crude jokes." He scoffed in amusement. "Perhaps you'll see how potent I am some day, or perhaps maybe even tonight."

I frowned at him, "Perhaps you are making the wrong assumptions about my thoughts that you begin to put on a show of cockiness around me. Your words are very inappropriate, Father." I walked away to pour myself some water. It wasn't surprising that he continued to follow. I only looked back to where his two sons and, perhaps, his wife were standing, watching me back. I sighed and looked down.

"Then maybe I shall show you who's your daddy." I could hear him chuckle as he stood close to me.


"Zhao! Is this appropriate for me to hear!?

The young brunet shut his eyes and covered his hears, hearing the dirty talk between his parents.

"Hey! I'm not the one narrating anymore, remember! Grow up and be a man!"

"This is my mother and our father that we're talking about Zhao…"

"Don't you think I'm a little embarrassed too?"

"Brother Zhao, you pervert…!"


His warm breath blew at my cold ears, I fought to resist shuddering in front of him as I turned to him. "Your oldest son already holds interest in me, perhaps you should give him the chance to have as many wives as you do too." I turned my head, hearing that dinner was served. I bowed to him and smiled, "Excuse me."

And with that, I walked away to take my place beside the Empress Dowager Guo. Cao Rui and Princess Yu were still having small talk with some of the guests. My step mother and I sat quietly until she decided to speak, "So you decided not to accept my gifts, I see."

I only smiled, "I thought it best to represent my late mother tonight instead, considering my welcoming back to Cao Wei. Perhaps another time, I will come as your daughter."

We smiled at Brother Rui and Princess Yu came to take their seats with us. I had almost frowned when the one I've been trying to avoid sat right beside me. It just so happens that his place was right besides mine. His family joined us as Brother Rui greeted them. I only smiled as dinner was served and everyone took a portion.

Everyone made small talk except for me, busy trying to resist the urge to stand and walk away. "Princess Pei Pei, my sons say you will be eighteen by the end of winter, is that right?"

I turned to smile at Lady Chunhua and nodded, "Yes, that is true."

"Then you are only about a year younger than Shi!" Zhao exclaimed at the table. "Shi's already eighteen, perhaps you two can get well acquainted with one another."

"Only if he like to." I smiled, speaking with a soft voice. "I don't think I'm a suitable enough for someone so great and intelligent though, being of the Sima Clan." I paused a little but resisted the urge to slap my brother's honored guest. His hand on my lap, threatening to reach between my legs, here, at a dinner party, in front of dozens of guests… I only looked over to Sima Yi with furrowed brows as he stared back at me in amusement. I looked to his wife for help who only stared at his hand and back at my eyes in disgust. I coughed and looked over to Empress Dowager Guo but she only looked away to mind her own business. I was stuck.

"Actually, I think you are far more suitable than you think." I watched as Sima Shi stared down at his food and ate quietly.

I looked to Zhao before looking down and smiling a little. "Then, if you don't mind, Sima Zhao, would it be alright if we trade places so that I can become much more well acquainted with the gifted Sima Shi?"

"Oh! How forward of you, Pei Pei." I only blushed slightly to my brother's words, more worried of Sima Yi's malicious advances.

He beamed up at me and grinned, the muscles on his father's face tightened a little, to hold in a scowl. "Of course I don't mind, Lady Cao! You are more than welcome!" He laughed and immediately stood with his bowl of rice, as I did the same and we traded spots. I sighed in relief when I sat next to Princess Yu and Sima Shi.

There was less tension, coming from me that is, but whenever I was questioned by Sima Yi, there was noticeably more tension from him instead that I waved off. A servant came and brought by some pork buns, "Ah! What flavor are these?" I turned to ask him.

"Barbeque pork buns."

"Oh, thank you!" Immediately I grabbed for one and on my clean plate, I took a small knife from the table. "Lord Sima Shi, would you like to share one with me?" I looked up at him and smiled as everyone stared and chuckled at us, all except for his father who only sat there and smiled.

I watched as the older teen blushed and replied before grabbing my hand, "Only if you will do me the honor of feeding me." I blushed and laughed as I picked up a half and Shi's hand helped lead mine to his lips where he took a rather large bite.

"Oh, so romantic, Pei Pei, looks like you've found the one." Princess Yu laughed as she leaned against Yuanzhong. "Even Yuanzhong won't let me feed him."

"Mother! Aren't Shi and Lady Cao a perfect match made in heaven?"

I smiled as I looked at my joyful table mates but I stopped when I held eye contact with Sima Yi, though he was smiling. There was something in his cold and calculating eyes that terrified me.

They were telling me…to be warned.