Epilogue Type Thing
"So, this is weird." Is how Edward begins his speech, and Alice grips my hand tightly, her eyes wide. I cringe.
To be fair, Bella, Alice and Alice's mother Esme did all warn me not to make Edward my best man. They all said that even after he found Bella and got over his loneliness, he still gets unbelievably drunk at weddings. But if it weren't for him I wouldn't be here right now... Plus he's practically my only friend. Alice and I decided to get married in London, where we met and my life seemed to finally begin, all thanks to this insanely drunk man who is about to make a speech.
Help me.
"About seven, six weeks ago," Edward hiccups slightly.
"Two years ago," Alice quickly corrects, smiling slightly.
Edward continues as if he was never interrupted. "I found this guy on a bridge, and I gave him my sister's number. And I thought: 'there's no way they'll get together, or stay together if they do. She won't like him that much... And now they're getting married." He turns to me and glares slightly. "Thanks," He says disdainfully, and the rest of the guests strain to keep their laughs in. "Jasper's alright," He mutters after a moment, and a collective chuckle runs across the crowd. I look over and see even Rosalie is laughing. Edward quickly downs what's left of his champagne. "Merry Christmas!" He calls, holding up his glass, while everybody else laughs, holds up their glasses and repeats his greeting, even though it's the middle of June (tomorrow is Edward's birthday, even). Carlisle and Esme are also laughing at their son.
Bella finally manages to get Edward to sit back down, and as he completely misses his chair and falls with a surprised "Oh my God Bella what did you do to me?!" everyone breaks into loud laughter. Even Alice has tears running down her face. Praise the Lord for waterproof mascara. Edward's daughter Nessie hides her face in her hands in embarrasment, but after a moment her shoulders begin shaking in silent laughter.
Finally, Edward is in his seat, but he looks half asleep. His head is nodding slightly, but his eyes are wide open. "Is he high?" Emmett whispers on Alice's other side.
"Jazz!" Edward, who is sitting next to me, says very very loudly in my ear, a hand landing suddenly on my shoulder. "How are you and Alice doing?"
"We're married Edward," I tell him with a grin, removing his hand from my shoulder. His mouth drops open in shock, and I laugh.
For a few moments he just stares at me, until a waiter walks by and he asks for another glass of wine. "Coffee and water," I mouth to the waiter just before he leaves, and he leaves nods and grins in understanding.
When I turn back to Edward I see that is talking Bella, and when I look to my other side for Alice I find her seat empty. A quick glance at the rest of the room shows she's on the dance floor, effortlessly being led around by Emmett. Emmett's a nice man, and a great brother. We speak a lot, but I've never got along with him how I get along with Edward. Rosalie has something to do with it; she's never liked me very much.
I grin as I hear Alice's laugh, and turn back to Edward. I jump as this time he is facing me, and he is ridiculously close. "Jesus Edward!" I breathe. "Don't do that!"
"Bella says I'm drunk," He tells me in reply. I shake my head incredulously at him.
"Really?" I ask, although I'm sure he's far too drunk to understand sarcasm now. "How strange." He nods, agreeing with me, and I roll my eyes.
The waiter comes back with a mug of coffee and a glass of water. Deciding Edward doesn't need caffeine at this moment, I quickly drink the coffee and get him to drink the water by telling him it's vodka. "Doesn't taste like vodka," He slurs.
"Weird," I comment, helping him up to take him to his hotel room. He, Bella and Nessie are staying in a hotel down the road from the hall we are holding the reception in. "Bella," I call my sister in law's name, and she rushes over, grinning but still looking concerned for her husband. "I'm gonna take Edward to your hotel. Can I have the key?"
She nods, and hands me the small card. I pocket it quickly, and watch as she kisses her husband's cheek and dancing away. I then take Edward towards the exit, and once we're outside I let him walk on his own, but he stumbles a lot. It's actually quite funny. Once we get to the hotel room, I help him into bed and pull the covers over him. He looks up at me tiredly. "Thanks Jazz," He says, although I'm not sure he knows what he's thanking me for.
"No problem," I grin. "It's the least I could do after you saved my life, and gave me a life, after all."
"What did I do?" He asks, and I chuckle, shaking my head.
"You'll remember in the morning, you wierdo. Happy birthday," I tell him. He smiles slightly, his eyes drifting closed.
"Happy birthday," He repeats as I head for the door, and I roll my eyes, shutting the door softly behind me.
A/N: I know this isn't how drunk people usually act... Or maybe they do. I'm inexperienced in this field. XD
And I know... I updated a one shot. Again. I need to learn to control my ideas. XD I hope you enjoyed.
