Becoming the enemy
Chapter ll
So, the ride on the bus was less than tolerable. Mabel and I sat in the middle section, which only meant that the students that rode in the back were that much closer to us, meaning that they were also noisier. Their obnoxious jokes and yelling filled the bus, but, unfortunately for us, we were in the middle. Mabel was sound asleep on my shoulder, much to my surprise, and I was reading a book, "Across the interdimensional plane", which in hindsight, wasn't a good idea. I quickly grew motion sickness while trying to read on a moving bus. The speed bumps didn't help. The lack of seatbelts only added to the struggle. Eventually, I gave up and just laid my head back on my seat as I found myself in deep thought. I thought about life, what it meant to live and be alive, and the struggles we went through on a daily basis, trying to not die and acting as if wed never come to that gate, to be immortal. Bill crossed my mind once or twice. Of course, I tried to empty my mind of him, knowing, or at the very least, hoping that it was all a dream.
The students in the front of the bus were quiet. They didn't acknowledge the fact that the backseat passengers were way too loud. The bus driver had in earphones, which I'm pretty sure is against the law. How was he going to hear anything if someone was dying or if a cop was behind us? I guess I was the only one annoyed by all of this.
Eventually, we made it to our school, Piedmont High, which, if you ask me, is a very generic name for a high school in that region. It's like naming a school in Bakersfield, Bakersfield High School (BHS). Oooh, right. Never mind. I shook Mabel awake as she lifted her head. It took her a few second to realize she was on the bus.
"Gosh dang it. I just had a nightmare that I was at school. There better not be a pop quiz in English or I'm going to lose it", Mabel said.
"How is dreaming about school a nightmare?"
"Well, when you take into account all the other things I would rather be dreaming of, then I'd call it a nightmare."
Valid point. I was proud of Mabel. Her grammar skills have improved within these last three years. She actually studied, even if it was only a little light studying. Believe it or not, she was one of the head cheerleaders during football season. When I found out about that, I nearly had a heart attack. She was still called weird throughout the school because of her neon clothesline and decorative sweaters. Many accused her of cheating her way into head cheerleading position. They just couldn't come to accept that someone like my sister could earn that title fairly. She did make friends on the team that accepted her and admired her free spirit, as well as enemies who were jealous. Mabel kept her smile the whole time. That was probably the thing I admired about her the most. She just didn't care, or at least, she acted like she didn't.
I, too, was made fun of. I've been pushed, shoved into my locker, and spat upon. But, that was eight grade. Freshman year gave me a new start. Although it may not of started any differently, one stand against a bully won me some credit points towards a possible reputation. I was formerly referred to as "book worm", or "science geek". My first day back to school after returning from gravity falls wasn't an easy task. No one believed what I had gone through, so they called me "daydreamer", or "attention seeker." The last one actually stuck around a little longer once the scars on my wrists were noticed by my peers. I don't know why I did those things, but that is all in the past, which means that it doesn't matter anymore. It did bring attention my way from a group of social rejects who hung out by the one abandoned tree near the entrance gates in the school yard. I hung out with them for a little bit to see how things would pan out. I tried to get my sister in on this, but they denied her. Something about not being one of us, whatever that means. Apparently, I had to wear all black if I wanted to be truly accepted into the group and they wanted me to make a blood pact. That was my queue to leave them and not look back. Those kids took their roles as social rejects a little too seriously. I mean, come on. "Emo", and "goth", to me, are just labels given to people who are misunderstood in a sense of being creepy. Those aren't really words one could simply call themselves and make true. If anything, goth was the general liking of the darker side of things. "Emo" is more along the lines of a social vampire, meaning they feed off the depression of others to make themselves have more meaning. It doesn't necessarily mean they cut themselves, though, I guess, that plays a big role. And one doesn't have to wear black to fit the criteria of the label. One wears black simply because they love the color, nothing else.
Another group got ahold of me. They were a little more tolerable. They were more socially awkward than anything. Some had red hair with black streaks, piercings, wrist spikes, and black drawings on their arms and faces. They didn't all wear just one color. One guy wore pink skinny jeans, simply because he didn't give a fuck about what others saw him as. They'd run around, carrying each other on their backs. These seemed more like my people, more or less. Actually, they were more of a group my sister would belong in, what with her colorful side and love for anime. They were a crazy bunch, but, eventually, I moved on.
Then sophomore year began, and I was little more lost than last year. Last year, I figured I had a shot. This year, my expectations deflated. Luckily, my sister became cheerleader, which opened doors for her. Gravity Falls was the only place where I was someone worth noticing. I have friends there, ones that I still talk to. Wendy chose to skip college and help out her brothers and father. Pacifica was going through some troubles, with her being poor now. Giddeon, despite helping in the end to save Gravity Falls, was shortly thrown back into prison. He was a changed boy, but still had his prison mates who stuck by his side. Tambry worked in a shop in Gravity falls, selling phones. Robby changed his appearance slightly but kept the hoodie. They are glad to hear my sister and I are visiting this summer. Soos lives with melody and plans on getting married soon. So far, it sounds like everyone is doing well.
I miss my second home a lot. I really hope it hasn't changed drastically since weirdmageddon.
"Hey Dipper, how ya doin?" Kris sat next to me as my sister sat on the opposite side, still waking up. Kris was somewhat of a friend. We didn't really hang out, but we talked a little. He'd talk about sports, and of course, I didn't know anything about sports, so I would just nod my head and try to understand. We didn't start out as friends. Nope, quite the opposite, actually. I guess our relationship started in the beginning of this school year.
-flashback-
It is the beginning of sophomore year. I wear my usual blue vest with my red shirt, with slight alterations. My vest is a darker shade of blue denim, while my shirt is a more faded style red. It is a bit tight on me, showing off some small changes in my muscle definition. My arms aren't super big as if I could crush rocks by simply squeezing them, but they aren't small either. My grayish short shorts transitioned into black slim pants, which are a bit tight on the calves, thanks to all my running. I still wear the hat that Wendy gave me. How could I not? It holds great memories that I love to carry around with me. My hair is also longer. The bangs hang in front of my eyes, but I keep the back slightly shorter than the rest. Also, there is a secret I'm currently keeping from everyone. The only person who knows is my sister. And the only reason she knows is because she rushed into the bathroom without knocking and caught me getting out of the shower. We promised never to speak of that again. This happened a couple months ago. Anyway, the secret that I keep from everyone is on my body. That's right. My secret is actually a bunch of secrets spread out across half of my torso, my chest, and on my back: a bunch of supernatural and occult symbols - tattoos. They are mainly black, red, and purple. One of them is a pentagram on my left pectoral muscle, which is supposed to keep me from getting possessed again. There are other tattoos I have on my body, but those are blacklight tattoos, which means, they are invisible to the human eye, unless you happen to have a black light. I have a full sleeve containing these blacklight tattoos, for good reason too. They're symbols I remember reading in the journals before they got destroyed, along with other symbols in other cultures I took my time researching. These symbols allow me to channel magic through my body and release it. The fact that they're blacklight helps because they won't be questioned by my parents, and since they're technically still present, just not visible, they still work. Though, since I'm human, I have limitations to the magic world. For instance, I can hover or use my hand as a flashlight. I can see in the dark with nighttime vision and use telekinesis. I cannot control people, but I can get in their mind. I only use my abilities when necessary or if its not hurting anyone.
Today started out as good as any other day. I was lost in a good book and steered away from the traffic that filled the hallways. It is the third week of my sophomore year and it already hates me. I'd be turning 16 in a little less than a full year. Luckily, I'd be in Gravity Falls for that, so I would have the company of all the people that matter to me, excluding my parents, of course. Of course, they would send us off with a letter that's not to be opened till our birthday. I avoided contact with people, or at least tried to, with the occasional dick, who would slap the book out of my hands. Mabel was usually joined to the hip with me, with the bathroom being the exception. When she wasn't joined at my side, she was hanging with her odd group of overly colorful friends, one in which had a crush on me. She doesn't know I know. I may not care about my surroundings as much, due to a fictional world I would so much rather be sucked into, but the way she acts towards me obviously gives it away. Then, there's Kris, the dick among dicks, the jock, the former quarterback from last year who would be returning to that position once more. He is a major douche who thinks he's meant for greatness, simply because his parents are loaded.
I was near my locker with Mabel, reading. Her friends surrounded us, making a bit of noise that I tried to ignore or filter out. Whisper, one of her friends, was talking to me about the wonders of life and a new romance movie that was being released within theatres. I heard portions of what she said. The students in the hall grew silent as the tension rose to great heights.
"Hey, dweeb." Kris walked towards us, slapping my book to the ground. Mabel and her friends backed up a bit. Gee, thanks guys.
I wasn't going to be intimidated by him, especially since this was most likely going to be the highlight of his whole life. No doubt in my mind that he peaked too early. "Really, Kris. 'dweeb.' It's the 21st century. Sure there aren't any better names you could give me? Is a little brain power too much to ask for?"
"Don't talk like that to me less your asking for a beating. Your muscle isn't enough to back up what you say. So, id watch it if I were you."
"Muscle doesn't mean squat in a fight. It's about strength, speed, stamina, and strategy, one of those in which you're lacking." This comment received gasps from the crowd.
"What the fuck! You're already one foot in the grave. Are you sure you're ready to throw the other one in? You'll be so far gone, it'll take much more than necrophilia to bring you back you little Lovecraft wannabe. Slay me. Come on. Didn't you kill zombies? I think I remember something along the lines of you saying that freshman year. You're just a poser. You want people to like you so much that you'd make up impossible tales. You're a dreamer who refuses to live in the modern world, and your sister is a weirdo. She's a freak who believes in unicorns and happy endings. Let me tell you something you little shit. Nobody gets a happy ending without a little effort. Nobody gets ahead without stomping down on everyone in front of them."
Everyone was quiet. Mabel looked at me with worry. The students had their phones out, ready to record. "Nice speech. Been working on it? If you didn't throw lust for the dead into the mix, it would've been perfect."
"I said no such thing. You've got such lewd and disturbing fantasies, don't you nerd. Too many books will do that to your brain."
"Actually, you did say that. Necrophilia is sex after death you, dipshit. I believe necromancer was the word you were seeking. Guess what, it means one who can raise the dead. Wow, you really do learn something every day, don't you?" I knew it would've probably been the smart choice to shut my mouth at this point, but he made it so easy to correct him. Almost immediately after finishing the last question, his fist met the side of my face. I didn't do anything though, other than stay where I fell. I knew it would cause more problems if I escalated the situation.
"No balls, just as I predicted. You're all talk. Tell you what, I'm in a rather decent mood. I'll end it here. You received your payment for talking shit. Next time, I'll end you." He turned around and started to walk away. This feud was over, or so I thought. He nudged Mabel hard into the locker, while muttering, "outta my way, bitch," the last word being quiet.
Without thinking, I spoke up, "Hey, braindead!" I quickly shut up before he could hear. It was too late.
"You don't give up, do you?" he was now back in my face. The peers around us had nothing better to do than watch. He shoved me back against the locker, as I hit my head pretty hard. "On a scale of 1 to 10, where would you say your will to live lies? 10, being 'spare me' and 1 being 'kill me now.'" My hands shook from an inner rage dying to escape, but I suppressed it. "What's with the stupid hat? I'm sure you have been asked this from time to time. I mean, how could you not? You look like a lumberjack, and not the hot kind." The last installment in that sentence took me by surprise. Does that mean there are lumberjacks in which he thinks are hot. I mean, other than Wendy, most lumberjacks are guys, so... wait, does that mean he's... There's no way. He reached for the hat and took it off my head. "Guess, I'll be keeping this.
"Hey! That's mine!" I stood up, shaking in my shoes.
He chuckled at my state. "Damn Pines, why you shaking so much? You're like one of those little rat dogs. Do I really have you that scared shitless?"
"Yes, it's true I'm shaking. But, if you believe it to be from fear, you are gravely mistaking. You're pissing me the fuck off. That hat, it's…"
"Ooh, it's a girl, isn't it? Then I won't take it." I was relieved to hear this. "I'll just burn it. You can't miss something that doesn't exist, am I right?" He took out a lighter from his pocket and held the flame a couple inches under the hat. "So goodbye to romance." He laughed as he was about to incinerate the hat belonging to a former crush.
"You bitch!" I jumped at him, tackling him to the floor. The hat slid on the floor, luckily escaping the flame. He ended up elbowing me in the jaw.
"I gotta say. I didn't think you had it in you. Good tackle by the way, if you weren't tackling a quarterback." He took one swing at me, and I was forced to the ground. Quickly, I got up, changing the foundation of my stance. Another swing, I stood still, taking the blow.
"Fight back, Dipper! Don't let him win if you know you can." Mabel tried convincing me to fight. Fighting wasn't in my code.
"You think you can win? Is what your sister's saying true? You think you have a chance? Please."
My body was now shaking wholly. Thoughts entered my mind. "Kill him! In front of these people. End his life. Does he really deserve to live?" The voice was me, but it wasn't me. It was different. He punched me in the gut. The more he hit me, the more I stood my ground.
"Gotta say, Pines. You've proven to be one tough little shit. You're either stronger than you appear, or you're stupid enough to say the wrong thing. Either way, I'm enjoying the workout you're giving me." Going for the ending move, he went at me. Mabel covered her eyes, and the rest of the viewers remained watching. Only a few of them had out their phones now. His fist never reached my face. "What the…" His fist was in my hand's grasp.
"Looks like you need more practice…bitch." With one swift movement, I open palmed him in the chest with my free hand. That sent him flying, well, falling fast on his ass. "You think I'm scared of you, Brackens. Tell me, why would I? Fear is a choice, an illusion. I don't fear you, I pity you. You've reached your peak too early. You're the one that's scared. Scared that this is the prime of your life and there's only downhill from here for you. Your whole persona is a façade. This isn't who you are, is it?" His face was horrified, but was he scared of me, or the person I became in the timeframe of a minute. "What does it feel like to belong to a rich gene pool? To have so much expected of you, that you can't even be yourself. You're prancing around in a disguise, one in which your father gave you. The sad part is, you think it's real. You used to have dreams, did you not? Who took those away from you?"
"Put your phones away!" He pointed to the peers pointing their phones at him. "Do what I tell you!"
"What? Does poor Kris not want the public to know who he really is?"
"You shut up, you, you sociopathic freak."
I leaned in close to him as I whispered so only he could hear me. "Or what? We both know you can't do jack squat. Your rein is over." He punched me hard in the face, but I didn't flinch. In fact, I stood quite still as the crowd gasped. He didn't stop there. He got me in the ribs twice and the jaw a couple times.
"Do you not feel pain, you weirdo!?"
"The question isn't if I feel pain. It should be if I enjoy it." I gave him a sinister smile as I picked him up, one handed, by the throat. "You listen to me, you little shit." His body dangled in the air as I held him above my head.
"You shouldn't be this strong." He struggled to speak between words.
"There's a lot I shouldn't be able to do. Guess I'm the exception." I slammed him into the locker then tossed him into a locker across from it. "You fuck with Pinetree, you fuck with me, Do I make myself clear, you insignificant meat puppet? You are of no more importance than the other slaves to humanity that surround you now." Suddenly, the rage left my body and I felt weird.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I really am. Please don't hurt me anymore!" He was in a state I've never seen him in before. He had purple under one eye and a cut on his lower lip. Tears also seemed to be present.
"What do you mean? How did you get on the ground?" I held my hand out to help him up. He looked at me in disbelief as he slapped my hand away and ran away from me, his last words being, "You've got major problems!"
We met up later in the principal's office. Even worse, our parents were there. We got suspended for a week. Luckily, my love for homework saved me, because that was all I was allowed to do for the following three weeks. Mabel brought me my school work, bless her soul. When I returned, the first thing, or rather person, I noticed was Kris. He wasn't throwing anyone into lockers or starting trouble for anyone at all.
"Hey, Kris. Look, I'm sorry for anything that might've happened three weeks ago. If it makes you feel better, I don't remember most of it, soo…"
He stopped me in my tracks and looked at me. His eyes weren't the usual ones of fire I've come to know. The were filled with something else, worry perhaps. "Mason, er, Dipper. Whatever. How is that supposed to make me feel better? Finding out that you blackout when you get angry doesn't relieve me at all. If anything, it fills me with concern. You need professional help. Well, you did it. No body fears me anymore. Now you're the recipient of their focus."
"I've had professional help by counselors already. They don't help. I'm just a paycheck to them."
"You haven't had the right help. Good luck with your new reputation. People hate me for who I was and fear you for who you ended up to be. No body wins in the end. It's all a matter of when. When will things get worse? Not 'will they?'. "
"We can start over. I don't like to hold grudges. What do you say? Think we can be friends?"
He looked over my extended hand and shook his head. "Sorry, man. I just don't think we could be friends, not with our history." He turned and walked away, leaving me there, alone. Mabel suddenly showed up out of thin air, scaring the living Bill out of me.
"Hey, brobro. How you hanging?" Mabel, no matter what, would always be there for me. She was the one I could count on, when things fell apart.
"Hey Mabel."
"Aww, don't be so down. Things will turn around, eventually."
It took weeks, but things actually turned around. My sister, of course, stood up for me at a public rally. It was to my surprise. If she would of told me beforehand, I would of turned down the idea of her publicly speaking in my stead, Later, I took a chapter out of her book and stood up for Kris, not at a public rally, but in the school yard. We started talking after that, nothing more.
-End of flashback—
The school bell rang, and we were out. Our time for being sophomores was over. The bus ride home was long, but once we got home, we finished packing immediately. The bus to Gravity Falls would be here the next morning. Only one thing was on my mind, and Mabel noticed. We shared the same room after all. I was staring at the ceiling, not saying a word. Mabel had already showered and dressed when she walked over to my bed and sat down on the end of it. "What's wrong?"
"I looked at her with fake confusion as I answered her question with a question of my own. "Does something look the matter with me?"
"Don't play that game with me. You're not reading right now which is different in itself. Plus, you've been acting weird all day. Is something on the brain?" She moved closer to me and tried to give me a hug, but before she could come close to wrapping her arms around me, I turned around and laid down, facing the wall. I couldn't see her, but she sounded hurt by this action. "You could talk to me if…"
"Good night, Mabel." I interrupted her.
"Oh, okay." She stood up and walked towards her bed on the opposite side of the room. "Goodnight Dipper."
"Goodnight Mabel," I said once more.
"I love you."
"Mmhmm." I couldn't say what she wanted me to say and I didn't know why. Without another word from me, I fell asleep to the sound of Mabel's soft whimpering, a moment in which I'd come to hate myself for.
