Kurt was feeling relaxed, laying on his back on his bed, with Blaine's head resting on his chest. They were listening to music, chatting about school and their friends, and Kurt was idly tracing circles on Blaine's neck with his fingers. The door was ajar, as Kurt's family was home, so they couldn't get overly sexual. But they were resting together, and had finished all their homework, and life was good.
When Kurt's phone rang, he managed to get it out of his pocket and answer it without jostling Blaine too much.
"Hello?"
"Kurt! It's Tina. I have to tell you something hilarious. Are you alone?"
"No, I'm hanging out with Blaine."
"Ok, you both have to swear not to tell this to anyone. Ever."
Kurt laughed. "Blaine, do you promise not to tell anyone what Tina's about to say?"
Blaine tilted his head to look at Kurt. "Who would I tell?"
"Ok, he promises," Kurt said. "What's up?"
"Ok. So you know how sometimes when Mike Chang's parents aren't home, I walk into his house without ringing the doorbell, to surprise him?"
"No, but go on."
"Well today I did that, and he was in his room, uh, alone... You know..."
"Are you sure I need to hear this story?"
"And he was getting dressed up in his Frank-N-Furter costume! Can you believe that?"
"Wait, like, as a sexy thing?"
"Yes! He had heels on and everything! He was checking himself out in the mirror like a big perv."
"Oh my god."
"I know! I couldn't believe it."
"What did you do?"
"Well, I mean, we had the house to ourselves, and he was already kind of... worked up, so I stuck to my original plan and started molesting him -"
"You're so ladylike."
"But the point is, my boyfriend has a crossdressing fetish. I would have laughed in his face if it wouldn't have ruined my chances of getting hot makeouts."
"That's so bizarre."
"What's bizarre?" Blaine scooted up the bed until he was eye-level with Kurt.
"Mike Chang, crossdressing." Kurt grinned.
Blaine wrapped an arm around Kurt and started to settle on his side in his new position. He looked perplexed.
Kurt continued, into the phone: "Was it the whole costume? With the make up and everything?"
"No, no make up," Tina said. "I don't think he was done getting dressed up when I got there."
"But like, the corset and stockings and stuff?"
"Yeah."
Blaine's eyes widened. "Are we talking about Mike the dancer? Bubble Toes Mike?"
"The very same," Kurt laughed.
"Wow..." Blaine pressed his pelvis closer against Kurt's body, and Kurt could feel that he was hard.
"Just a sec Tina. Blaine -" Kurt moved the phone away from his face and whispered, shocked: "Is this turning you on?"
Blaine closed his eyes and blushed, rocking his hips a little. "Well. Have you actually pictured it?"
Kurt raised an eyebrow at Blaine, amused. "I... guess he has a pretty nice body...?"
"In stockings. Jesus."
Kurt brought the phone up to his ear again. "Tina, for future reference, never let Mike do anything remotely sexy in front of Blaine, ok?"
Tina laughed.
Kurt grinned as Blaine kept rutting against him slowly, breathing heavier. "So... did you like it?" Kurt said. "Or was it really weird?"
Tina said, "It was so weird. I made him take most of it off, I mean, what's the point if I can't see his abs -"
"Of course."
"But when I walked into the room, and he was standing there like that, it's like, it didn't fit, in my brain. Like, 'That's a man in lingerie.' It was so weird."
"I can imagine."
"I mean, no offense to you, obviously. You know I love your sweaters and everything. But this is different."
Kurt shook his head. "No, of course. It's totally different. And Mike is a different body type -"
"Yes! All those muscles, with a corset?"
"That would just be wrong."
"Certain guys I'm sure can pull it off. I think you maybe could. But Mike? Or like, what if it was Blaine?" Tina giggled.
"Oh god. Ridiculous." Kurt laughed. "Blaine, promise me you'll never do drag."
Blaine stilled his movements, opened his eyes, and frowned. "Why not?"
"Just, think about it Blaine. Lingerie and chest hair? Together?"
Blaine looked hurt. "But... what about Tim Curry?"
"Tim Curry has more charisma in his pinky finger than I have in my entire body. And Rocky Horror is awesome, and classic, and it was very brave in its day. But it's not sexy."
Blaine pouted. Actually stuck his bottom lip out and pouted. "But... I have charisma..."
Tina said "What's going on?"
"Oh, don't worry about it. Blaine is just offended that I don't think he'd be sexy in lingerie. He's a dork."
Blaine rolled away from Kurt, onto his back, looking pensive.
Tina laughed. "Boys are so sensitive. Should I let you go do damage control?"
"Maybe," Kurt said. "What are you going to do about Mike?"
"I don't know. Talk to him about panties anytime I'm horny and he's not? I think this could be really useful."
Kurt grinned. "Have fun with that. Talk to you later?"
"Yep, bye!"
Kurt hung up and wrapped an arm around Blaine, who was still frowning. "Hey. You're not actually upset about this are you?"
Blaine just shrugged.
"Blaine. Come on. You know I think you're sexy." He pressed closer to kiss Blaine's lips, and he did kiss back, reluctantly, but didn't stop frowning. "Blaine."
"What?"
Kurt sighed softly, and looked Blaine over, considering. "You're sexy. Believe me. You are... masculine, and strong, and... hirsute." He grinned. "And I love that about you. I just... Clothes are meant to work with your strengths, and accentuate them. And lingerie is designed for women. It works best on women who aren't too heavy, but who have curves. Small waists, big hips... It just wouldn't do anything for you."
Blaine grumbled. "Yeah, I know."
"If you want to be sexy, you don't have to wear ladies' underwear. You just have to be you."
Blaine initiated their kiss this time, and seemed to relax a little.
"Preferably naked." Kurt's grin widened as he blushed.
Blaine's sharp exhale was almost a laugh. He rolled his eyes. "I just thought it sounded... interesting. That's all."
"Hello?"
"Hi, Mike?"
"Yeah?"
"Sorry, I hope it's ok that I called you. I got your number off Facebook. It's Blaine."
"Sure, hi! Long time no see."
"Yeah. Listen. This is going to sound weird, but, I wanted to ask you something..."
