2
Good times
Valkyrie Cain looked with disgust around the shelves, littered with jars of various sizes. They all contained something that could easily have been mistaken for white animal fur, but she knew better. They were all filled with hair, and not just any hair. Nostril hair. They were all filled with white, disgusting nostril hair. That's was what she and her partner and mentor had been working on for the past few days.
Some mad man named Neesle Auspicious who had an obsession with white nostril hair. Apparently he believed it granted eternal life when digested and had made it his life work to collect hair from every man in the U.K, in the hopes of being able to live forever. It would have been harmless, if it weren't for the fact that the loon actually cut the victims noses off just to get to the hair.
It was that man's apartment they were in now. They'd already arrested the lunatic and sent him off to Mr Bliss to be dealt with. The only reason they were there was because they needed to find the weapon he used. The nutjob hadn't even had the decency to have it on him when he was arrested. Valkyrie just hoped they would leave soon. The apartment was small, damp and unbelievably messy. It smelled of unwashed clothes and damp dog, mixed with a lot of Eau de Garbage. She sighed as she stepped over a pile of dirty laundry and returned to the hall to stand by the door and wait for Skulduggery. He emerged from the bedroom a few seconds later, triumphantly holding up a small pocket knife in his hand.
"Here's the little culprit. He's going straight into an evidence bag, straight to Mr Bliss´ desk." He said, sealing said plastic bag before stuffing it into his coat pocket and they exited the apartment not a moment too soon.
"I miss the good times." Valkyrie said as they returned outside, after taking a deep breath of the warm autumn air, cleansing her nose from the apartment's putrid smell. Skulduggery tilted his head at her.
"Good times?" He asked, un-locking the Bentley as they crossed the street.
"Yes, you know when we got to fight real bad guys, save the world and stuff like that. Not run after lowly crooks like Auspicious or Mr Whiskers, the cat-napper. Makes me almost miss the really evil villains." Valkyrie explained as they got into the car.
"Seatbelt. Every case is equally important. Every crime is evil." Skulduggery said, turned the ignition and drove out on the street.
"Auspicious and Whiskers are nothing compared to Vengeous or Serpine. They would eat those pseudo-villains for breakfast, with syrup on top." She said, complaining.
"I reckon they wouldn't taste that good, though, and I´m sure at least one of them would cause bowel problems. Diarrhoea, at least." Skulduggery mused as he skilfully manoeuvred the dark Bentley through the streets of Dublin. The twilight sun cast a golden light across the city, making it look warmer and more exotic than it really was. Valkyrie was just glad the city even still existed.
It had been little over two months ago since she, Skulduggery, Tanith Low and the powers of the Sanctuary Cleavers, coupled with the strength of Mr Bliss and the reluctant help of the Torment had stopped Baron Vengeous from bringing the Faceless Ones back. By killing the Grotesquery they had been able to stop the ritual from taking place and had saved the world. Again.
But things hadn't really turned out too good. Thurid Guild was still Grand Mage of the Sanctuary, which meant Skulduggery was still fired. It didn't mean that much when it came to money, seeing as he was a skeleton and didn't need to buy much for himself. The only thing he spent money on, as far as Valkyrie knew, was his suits and his car.
But their information resources from the Sanctuary had been cut down to an annoying level. Mr Bliss helped them out whenever he could, bringing documents they needed and things like that, which was very helpful. But it still irked her that Skulduggery was banned from ever setting foot inside the Sanctuary again, as long as Guild was Grand Mage.
They arrived at their appointed destination, and parked the Bentley before stepping out onto St William's street, were they saw Mr Bliss wait for them, standing underneath the overgrown sign of St William's Park, with the lush hedges on either side, making him look like he was surrounded in a frame of greenery. It would have been a pretty sight, something for a photographer, but Valkyrie thought the picture would be ruined by the pale cold in his eyes. Mr Bliss acknowledged them with a court nod as they approached.
"Mr Pleasant." The bald man said to the skeleton as they came up to him.
"I assume that you've succeeded in retrieving the object." As an answer to that, Skulduggery brought up the plastic bag form his pocket, containing the knife.
"Wrapped and all. I´m sorry I could find a bow that matched though." He joked. Mr Bliss face remained as stony as ever, so Skulduggery coughed and just gave him the bag.
"We also found his stash of hair back at the apartment, that's enough evidence for him to get thrown into a cosy little cell for life. Almost makes me feel glad I don't have a nose anymore."
"Auspicious will be in our custody for the remainder of his youth at the least." Mr Bliss informed them. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow.
"How long is that exactly?" she asked puzzled, seeing as she knew magicians could live very long lifes. Mr Bliss turned to her as he answered her question, making he feel a little uncomfortable. She'd never really liked his eyes.
"Approximately, 40 to 50 years, depending on how fast he ages. Not to worry, he won't be back out in a very long time." He responded.
"I wasn't worried…" she muttered silently. If Bliss heard her he didn't reveal it, his gaze returning to Skulduggery.
"With this last piece of evidence the case is closed. I thank you for your help, Detective." Mr Bliss said and with that he turned and disappeared inside the park. When he was out of earshot Skulduggery turned to Valkyrie.
"Happy fellow, that Bliss, but I swear all that smiling is gonna give him wrinkles one day." He said as he began walking back to the car, followed by a grinning Valkyrie.
Meetings like this had become regular, Bliss acting as their secret link to the Sanctuary while she and Skulduggery were out solving crimes, and all the while Guild took all the credit for it, something Valkyrie found more than just a tad annoying. That stuck up old fart was nothing more than a fraud and a traitor. Only problem was that they didn't have any evidence to prove it to the rest of the magical society.
"Who will watch the watchmen" The old saying Skulduggery had mentioned two months ago came to her mind as she got into the car once more and they returned out onto the streets, heading for the small town of Haggard. The sun had already set, but it wasn't late. With fall came early darkness, not that she minded but she would miss the late evenings she used to spend sitting by the pier, basking in the last rays of the sun.
Skulduggery parked some way away from her house, as they usually did to avoid being seen by her parents. He killed the engine and turned to her, looking like he wanted to say something but then decided against it.
"What?" Valkyrie asked. He tilted his head slightly, but then shook it, turning to look out the windshield.
"Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow, be sure to get some sleep. You look like you need it. Those huge bags underneath your eyes aren't gonna disappear on their own, you know" He said, trying to joke it away, but that only got her even more curious.
"Spill it. You were about to say something and you know I wont drop the subject until you tell me" she said, folding her arms together. Skulduggery sighed.
"It's nothing."
"I don't believe you."
"I knew you wouldn't."
"So why wont you tell me?" Valkyrie asked. Skulduggery gave a low growl.
"How did you become so stubborn and annoying?"
"I've learned from the best" Was her response, making him shake his head once more.
"My brilliant mind is just working overtime. You would probably be overwhelmed by half the thoughts I think up." The joke was lame, typically Skulduggery, Valkyrie just sighed.
"Alright, I was just thinking of what you said."
"About what?"
"´The good times` as you put it. Real villains and real evil."
"What about it?" Valkyrie wondered, unfolding her arms.
"Not that I wish for more evil and mayhem, but I have to admit that it gets kind of boring with missions like the one we wrapped up today. And I just realized that what you consider as "fun" would make a normal girl run for the hills."
"But I´m not a normal girl, am I? Your point being?"
If he'd had eyes Skulduggery´s gaze would have been serious, but he didn't need to, Valkyrie felt it as he turned his head fully towards her.
"Point being, don't get too cocky and wish for something like that just because you're bored. One day it could blow up in your face. It probably will too. We've been lucky soo far. You've been lucky. And one thing I know for sure is that luck has to run out sometime." He said seriously. Valkyrie thought about what he'd just said and realized he was indeed right. The thought was absurd, but she had actually said earlier that she almost wished Serpine and Vengeous back. Or people like them. And all because she was bored.
She was so dumbfounded she didn't say anything for a few moments, until Skulduggery spoke again.
"Just keep in mind what I said and you'll do fine Valkyrie. Now shoo, I've got to get some beauty sleep too, you know. Looks this good don't come without hard work." He said, back to his usual lame self again. She nodded, managing a small smile and stepped out of the Bentley, looking down the street towards her house.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Val" Skulduggery said from inside the car before she closed the door and he started up the engine and drove down the street and into the night.
Valkyrie got inside her house the usual way by controlling the air underneath her to fly up to the windowsill to her room. It had become a habitual thing, ever since she'd mastered the way of getting in and out of her house by using the air magic.
Concentration followed by calmness as she reached out and felt the air around her until she knew just what to do, and the exact amount of force to use to get where she wanted. She had become so good that nowadays she didn't land clumsily or had to dangle from her windowsill to then climb inside. She'd learned how to land softly and to smoothly soar up to her window, which she'd instructed her reflection to keep open until she returned home.
She landed on the windowsill in a hunched position and looked inside to see her reflection sitting on the bed, as it usually would when it had nothing particular to do.
"Is mum and dad home?" Valkyrie asked the reflection as she stepped inside her room.
"Your dad is still at work and your mum is at your aunts and uncles house" the reflection said.
"At Beryl and Fergus? Why on earth is she there?" Valkyrie exclaimed surprised.
"They invited her to have tea. They invited all of you but I managed to come up with an excuse to stay home."
Valkyrie raised her eyebrows, both for the fact that Beryl had invited them to tea, which she found suspicious. Then there was the fact that her reflection had come up with an excuse, but then she figured it would have been something she'd done herself, and so thought nothing more of it.
"Are you ready to resume your life?" her replica asked and rose from the bed, seeing as Valkyrie had put away her coat and boots.
"Yes, I am" she answered, and saw how the reflection smoothly stepped into the mirror as if it had been nothing more than a doorway. Placing her hand on the glass, Valkyrie received the memories of the reflection and went through them as she usually did, sifting through each until they were slotted into place next to the memories she'd made on her own.
She lingered on the memory of her aunt inviting them to evening tea. Beryl had been annoyingly social with her family as of late, a fact that disturbed her somewhat. Valkyrie suspected it was because of the fact that she was rich now, thanks to Uncle Gordon, and that Beryl wanted to be in their good graces so she could perhaps squeeze them for money some day. That wouldn't surprise her in the least, knowing that her aunt was nothing but a selfish old vulture. Valkyrie´s father still didn't like his sister-in-law any better, and was just annoyed that she kept showing up all the time. Her mum was also slightly annoyed but figured it couldn't harm to be a bit more social with each other. They were family after all she had said to Valkyrie. Shrugging, she dropped the thoughts of her suspicious aunt, and turned to crawl down into her utterly cosy looking bed, planning on playing a game or read for a while, but as soon as she'd made herself comfortable she felt herself dozing off and before she even realized, was sound asleep.
