Only one more chapter to go! Thankyou to 'gwencooper' for reviewing and everyone who favourited and added this to your story alerts, it meant a lot. The song in this chapter is 'Iris' by Goo goo dolls, again I will post the lyrics after the last chapter is posted.


"Shit!" Owen heard the sound of smashing glass followed by Tosh swearing. "Ah, fuck."

"Y'ok Tosh?" He asked, not that he really cared.

"I'm fine, I've just… Oww!"

"What?"

"Cut my hand, I'm sure it's fine, it's just a scratch."

"Shouldn't you let a doctor decide that? Let me have a look." He walked over to Tosh's desk and winced when he saw the size of the gash in her hand. "Just a scratch? This'll need stitches." They walked to the autopsy bay and Owen began cleaning the wound.

"How are you Owen?" Tosh asked, wincing as he began stitching.

"Fine" he replied bluntly.

"You know we hardly ever seem to talk anymore."

"I've been busy."

"You know if there's anything you need, just ask."

"Everyone seems to be saying that at the moment. There you go. All done." He said as he finished stitching and began bandaging her hand.

"Thanks. You know we're just trying to help. I know it must be hard."

"Hard doesn't cover it."

"Well I understand how-"

"Really Tosh?" He interrupted. "You honestly think you know what I'm going through right now?

"Well, yes I'm –"

"You see I don't think you do. I mean, you can't possibly. My wife was killed by some heartless bastard who shouldn't have been pointing a gun at her in the first place. She died in my arms. And every night I have to go home to my daughter who has no idea why her Mummy's not here anymore," he shouted, his voice getting progressively louder, "So don't you dare sit there and tell me you know what I'm feeling." Owen got to his feet; the force of him standing sent his chair hurtling across the floor. He ran out of the autopsy room and stormed down the spiral staircase to the vaults, passing Jack and Ianto who had clearly just heard the whole conversation. He reached the cells, punching the glass wall and startling the Weevil on the other side. He sank down to the cold, concrete floor and rested his head on his knees.

"That was uncalled for." Jack said as he approached the curled figure.

"Get lost." Owen mumbled.

"We're all grieving Owen, even Tosh." Jack said as he sat down beside him.

"I've lost my wife. The one person I truly cared about. And everyone keeps telling me that they understand. But how can they?"

"They've lost someone too Owen. They're just trying to help." Jack replied softly

"It's not working." He said quietly.

"You've still got Lily. And anyway, it's nearly Christmas!"

"Why would I want to care about Christmas now Gwen's gone?" Jack sighed.

"Go home."

"No, I… I just want to work, keep my mind off things. I have to stay busy.

"Owen, I mean it. You still have a responsibility. You're all Lily has. Now go home." Owen looked reluctant, but eventually surrendered.

"Fine. Tell Tosh I'm sorry for… you know."

"I'm sure she'll understand."

"Thanks Jack."


"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage for their first dance as a married couple, Owen and Gwen!"

They both walked into the middle of the floor as everyone began to applause. While familiar tunes drifted from the music player, they placed their arms around each other.

And I'd give up forever to touch you, cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't want to go home right now.

"I love you." Gwen whispered as they swayed to the music.

"Well that's a relief." Owen joked. He placed his hand on the small of her back and pulled her closer to him.

"We won't be able to do this soon."

"What d'you mean?"

"I'll be massive." Gwen moaned.

"You'll still be gorgeous." Owen replied, stroking her slightly swollen abdomen.

"Don't know about you, but I'm not exactly looking forward to telling mum and dad about this."

"They'll be fine, you said it yourself, they wanted grandchildren."

"Yes but they also wanted a nice, respectable, welsh son in law."

"They got the nice, respectable bit."

"What about your parents?" Gwen asked.

"You are joking. Haven't seen either of them since I was 16 and I have no intention of ever laying eyes on them again. They don't deserve to be grandparents."

Gwen leaned forward and rested her head on Owen's shoulder as couples began to drift onto the dance floor.

And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life. When sooner or later it's over, I just don't wanna miss you tonight.

Owen smiled when he saw Ianto and Jack dancing together. His gaze shifted to the corner, where Tosh was sitting alone, looking awkward.

"May I have a dance with the bride?" Gwen's Dad asked.

"Sure. As long as I get her back later." Owen said, and walked over to Tosh, sitting down next to her. "Not in the dancing mood?"

"Doesn't look like it."

"What's up?"

"Nothing." She looked at Owen, and saw that he wasn't going to drop the subject. "Well…it's just… you've all got someone special. Ianto and Jack, you and Gwen. I'm the only one who no one seems interested in." She sighed.

"Well there's always PC Andy." Owen teased. Tosh raised her eyebrows and looked over to where Andy was trying to chat up one of the bridesmaids – he was failing miserably. "You'll find your special guy one day. There's someone out there for everyone."

"Everybody please make your way to the dance floor for a group photo!!" the DJ announced over the mike. Everyone started walking towards the floor, while the photographer set up the camera.

"Have a nice chat?" Gwen asked Owen.

"Just offering my expert advice." He replied.

"Ok everyone, get in close, come on, be friendly! Ready, say cheese!"

And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.


Owen leafed through the album, paying particular attention to the photos of him with Gwen on their wedding day. He smiled slightly as he remembered how happy they'd been. He raised his glass to his mouth and shuddered as the drink hit the back of his throat. Music blared out of the stereo as Lily cried. He turned the page. A photo of them standing outside the church, confetti littering their hair. Huge grins plastered onto their faces. He lifted the glass again; downing the contents. Lily's screaming got louder. Unable to bare the sound of crying any longer, he sighed heavily, walking into the bedroom.

"What's the matter, Lil? Please don't cry. Um… hush little baby, don't say a word…" he trailed off as he couldn't remember the rest of the lyrics. "Come on, give your Dad a break, please stop crying." he pleaded as his frustration rapidly turned to anger. "What do you want me to do? I can't do this - I can't be both parents. Just please stop crying for a FUCKING MINUTE!" he stormed into the living room, slamming the door on his way out. He hastily grabbed at his glass, knocking it off the counter. He swore as it smashed on the floor and reached for the bottle instead; throwing back his head and gulping down the liquid. He turned the music up even louder; drowning out the sounds of his daughter's crying.

"Owen? Owen, open the door!" Owen cursed as he heard Ianto banging on the door. He contemplated ignoring Ianto – he really wasn't in the mood for another lecture about how to take care of his family - but knew he'd be in more trouble if he did. He reluctantly walked to the door and let Ianto in.

"What's going on?" Ianto asked, walking past Owen into the living room. He immediately turned the music off and went into the bedroom. Owen shut the door and sheepishly followed him. The Welshman had Lily in his arms, rubbing her back and singing to her. "Calon lân yn llawn daioni, Tecach yw na'r lili dlos: Dim ond calon lân all ganu. Canu'r dydd a chanu'r nos." He smiled as Lily finally stopped crying and lay against him. Owen stood in the doorway.

"What was that? I've heard it somewhere before."

"It's called Calon Lân. It's a Welsh song."

"Gwen sings it." He said then corrected himself. "Used to sing it." He smiled sadly. "I never knew what the hell it meant, but it sounded beautiful. Lily loved it. Always got her to sleep."

"You never sang it?"

"You've gotta be joking." Owen smirked, "I've butchered the Welsh language too many times. I can only just pronounce Croeso i Cymru!" Ianto walked closer to Owen and passed Lily too him. Owen carefully held her, but almost immediately she began grizzling. Owen looked terrified. "I can't do this," he said, passing her back to Ianto. He stepped away and shook his head.

"Stop doubting yourself." Owen walked over to the chair by the huge window in his bedroom and sat down.

"But I don't know what to do."

"What did Gwen used to do?"

"She sang to her, but I don't speak Welsh."

"You don't have to. Lily doesn't care whether you sing Pavarotti or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star; she just wants her dad to comfort her. What else did she sing?" Ianto asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Owen thought for a moment, before remembering.

"There was this one song, Iris. It was our first dance at our wedding." Memories of that day flooded his mind once again.

"I remember. Go on then." Owen looked at him quizzically, then began – albeit rather reluctantly – to sing.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that- what?" He stopped, noticing the look on Ianto's face.

"Nothing. Carry on."

"I feel like a complete twat!"

"I won't tell anyone." Ianto smirked.

"Cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't wanna go home right now. And all I can taste is this moment. And all I can breathe is your life. When sooner or later it's over, I just don't wanna miss you tonight." Lily eventually stopped whimpering, and clung on to Owen's thumb, gazing up at him with her big, dark eyes.

"Well done, you're better with her than you think."

"About earlier. It's been a hard day, I just lost it. I'd never imagined it would be this difficult without her – how much I relied on her. Lily just reminds me of her so much. Her dark hair, her big eyes, every time I see her I see Gwen. I don't know if I can do this."

"You seem to be doing fine from where I'm sitting." Ianto reassured. "You might think that you're on your own, but we're all here for you. And we mean it when we say if you need anything at all you can ask."

"Thanks Yan."

"D'you want a drink of something? Tea, coffee?"

"Tea'd be great thanks." As Ianto left the room, Owen shifted Lily so she could look out of the window. "Look up there Lil. You see those stars? Well whenever you miss Mummy, just look up there and when you find the brightest star, well that's her. She's up there watching both of us, keeping us safe. You see, she might not be where you can see her, but she is there. And there's a little bit of her in you. You just have to hold on to it." She leant against Owen's chest and gurgled happily.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

Ianto walked back into the room and smiled as he saw them both asleep; Owen's arms wrapped protectively around his daughter. Ianto took the blanket off the end of the bed and draped it over the sleeping figures. He switched off the lamp, closed the door and walked into the living room; lying down on the sofa.


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