Disclaimer: I don't own POTO, or any of the characters. I only own Marie
Based off of ALW Phantom
The girl continued to come see him. Each morning, they would sit in the garden and talk for hours. Then they would each rise, and Marie would say "Goodbye. I'll see you tomorrow." Then she would leave.
One day, after one of their talks, Erik found himself pacing back and forth in his room. "What am I doing?" he said. "I can't let this girl love me, assuming she does in the first place! Why would anyone want to love me? Love this…" Erik sat down, prepared to spend a few hours pitying himself. Christine did, he thought. Christine loved me. Oh, I was right, this girl, it's just Christine all over again! The girl even reminded him of Christine. Her eyes, though a different color, looked at him with the same intensity as Christine's had.
He couldn't allow this girl to come to care for him. She didn't know of his past. He was a monster! That was what really lay inside him. Besides, surely she would go the same way as Christine. She would fall in love with a man who loved her back. Who could love her back. Then she would leave Erik. Abandon him just as Christine had. He could not allow this to happen, both for her good and his own. He made up his mind to tell Marie the next time he saw her.
The following day, Erik met Marie in the garden as usual. Marie opened her mouth to speak, but Erik raised a hand to silence her.
"Marie… we must stop this." She sat up, confused.
"Stop? But Erik, why?"
"I feel, I feel that you are beginning to care for me. Are you not?" Marie nodded, now looking more confused than before.
"Yes, of course, but-" Erik cut her off.
"You must allow me to explain." He looked at her sadly. "I cannot allow you to grow to care for me. It- it won't end well. Can't you see? I am a beast, a monster!" He gestured to his face and grew more agitated. "The last time I loved someone I... I did horrible things." Erik stood up and began to yell. "I am not a man, I am a monster! A hideous creature that does not deserve to live! I cannot love. I just… can't." HIs hands fell limply to his side. Marie stood up with tears in her eyes. "But I can. Erik, I-"
"No!" he roared. "You don't understand! You don't know of my past!" Erik was getting more and more upset. "I hurt people! I did it because I loved someone, but I killed people Marie!" Marie was taken aback. She stared at Erik, and then said, "Please tell me. Tell me what happened, what- what you did." She looked into his eyes, silently pleading with him. Erik sighed, and then sat down. Marie did as well. Then he told her everything that happened at the Opera Populaire in Paris.
Marie sat in silence for a few minutes after Erik finished his tale. After a considerable length of time, he leaned over and took one of her hands in his. "Now do you see?" he began softly. "Do you understand why I cannot be with you?" It was only then that she lifted her head to look at him.
"You can't blame yourself for everything. Yes, you made bad decisions, but" Erik interrupted; he had had enough of this. "Bad decisions? I KILLED people, Marie!"
Marie stood up, her eyes filled with angry determination. Erik stood as well. "Erik, the world pushed you into a corner, it was only fair of you to push back!" Erik opened his mouth to speak, but Marie would not have it. "Besides, I don't see any of this in you! You've changed Erik, I believe that! I really do!" Erik was ready to start tearing out what little hair he had. He felt like he was about to explode. "Christine, will you just liste-" he stopped abruptly. Had he just… "Who is Christine?" Marie asked, letting anger creep into her voice. "Is she… is she the girl you were telling me about, just now?" She crossed her arms and gave Erik an ice-cold glare. "The girl from the Opera? That you obsessed over?" Erik could not take this any longer. "It was not obsession!" he screamed. "I loved her!" Marie narrowed her eyes for a moment, and then uncrossed her arms. She turned around and left the garden without saying a word.
Erik stormed up to his room and slammed the door. He then sat down at his desk, put his head in his hands, and began to sob. "Oh, Christine," he whispered. How it pained him to think of her. He should have known better than to tell that girl about Christine. One of the reasons he had agreed to come to America was so he could start trying to forget Christine. She must have gotten married by now, to that de Chagney boy. It was pointless to spend any more time thinking about her. But still…
Erik sat up. How dare that woman call his love for Christine an obsession! She… No, Erik thought as more tears threatened to fall. I won't do myself any favors by thinking of Christine. Instead, his thoughts turned to Marie again. How she refused to listen to him, and yelled when he was only trying to help her. He didn't want to hurt her, not like he had surely hurt Christine… Erik groaned. It's impossible, he thought. She is married to another man, living across an entire ocean, yet I can't stop thinking about her! He flopped down on his bed. I don't think I EVER will.
Yet as the hours passed, Erik didn't seem capable of avoiding thoughts of Marie either. Her laugh. The way she looked at him, her moments of stubbornness and being strong-willed. All the things, Erik realized, that made her like Christine. The girl he could never forget. These things must be why he felt drawn to Marie. But before Erik could push thoughts of both these women from his mind, he realized something else. There were many things that made Marie different from Christine, too. For the most part, Christine was quiet and soft-spoken. Marie was talkative and outgoing. She looked at him as Christine did, but there was a difference. He had always worn his mask around Christine. He didn't even have a mask with him in Boston. And as much as he loved Christine, she had never truly reciprocated those feelings. She did not return his love. But Marie... well, Erik had just gone out of his way to warn her not to love him. And he had seen how upset that had made her. Curses, Erik thought. The one woman who TRIES to love me, and I very near break her heart.
"But what does it matter?" Erik said, finally trusting himself to speak out loud. "The demon that I am does not deserve to love. And yet…" Erik stood up and began pacing back and forth, desperately trying to sort out his thoughts. Christine is married. I shouldn't even bother thinking about her. And Marie. She is very much like Christine, but that's not why I feel for her. But if I cared for her at all, I would keep my distance from her, to keep her safe. Then again, if she loves me, why deny her my company? And if… Erik sighed. "Oh, to hell with it. To hell with it all." He sat down again. If this was what being in love felt like, Erik wasn't so sure he liked it. It was so damn confusing.
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