You gais~ I got such a lovely response from the first chapter that I couldn't help but want to update quickly again! The power of reviews, I guess XP
Oh and I'm glad you like the way Art is in here. I'm really sick and tired of seeing him portrayed as being a defenceless weakling who always needs to be saved. And so you get a slightly cocky arsehole instead I guess XP
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CHAPTER TWO- In Which Alice Is Born
"Damn, this thing is itchy," Arthur complained, messing around with the wig once again. "Okay," he said after a moment, whirling around and looking at Farley, "How do I look?"
The dog whimpered.
"Ouch." Arthur pretended to look hurt before he sighed and placed a hand on his hip. "You could at least offer some words of encouragement."
Farley hid his face in his paws.
"Okay, I get it, I look like shit," Arthur admitted, going to the bathroom and looking in the mirror. He pulled a face. "Let's just bear in mind that I was on a tight budget," he said, but Farley didn't seem impressed and Arthur couldn't blame him. "Maybe if I put those glasses on…"
He went out into the kitchen and grabbed the red-rimmed glasses, putting them on before returning to the mirror. "Well I guess it looks marginally better?" he said, but even he didn't sound too sure. At least the glasses obscured his eyes a bit, so the World Academy wankers would find it more difficult to place him. Or so he hoped.
"Wait!" he said suddenly, startling Farley, who looked up in worry. "I know what's wrong here!" He groped his chest and frowned, "I need boobs."
If dogs could laugh, then his probably would have done. "I mean it!" he said. "All I have is this cheapo gypsy skirt," just to illustrate his point his turned so that the long garment flared out all around him, "And this wig." He tugged on the long blonde strands and cringed. It felt like straw (sort of looked like it too) but hey, what else would you expect for three dollars? He had also purchased the glasses because they didn't actually have any corrective lenses in and they were only a few cents.
(In fact 'Thrift Shop' would have been the song playing during his little shopping spree had this been a film).
"Okay, how to get boobs," he wondered, running into his bedroom (it was more like a cupboard with a bed and a few draws in it) and rooting around. He came across a vest top that was too small for him now, an old garment from when he was younger, and then raided his underwear drawer. "Okay."
He pulled his t-shirt off and placed the vest on, before balling up a few pairs of underwear and shoving them down the vest to fashion the breasts in question. He then placed his t-shirt over it all and went to look in the mirror.
Even he couldn't help but burst out laughing this time. "Dear god they look deformed!" he gasped, clutching his sides. "Uhm… maybe a sweater would obscure that?" Back to the bedroom and a blue hoodie was produced and, true to form, it did obscure them. Now it only looked as though there was something there, which was what boobs were, right? It wasn't as though he planned on wearing revealing clothes, so this should be fine.
He looked as the sorry fake hair strands fell past his shoulders and thought about putting it up, but he didn't have a bobble anywhere and there was little point in splashing out for one. Down would do.
So the next item on the agenda was the voice. He obviously didn't sound like a girl at all. "Hello, I'm Arthur," he said in the highest register he could muster, but it just sounded as though he was voicing a puppet in a terrible pantomime. "Ah, my name…"
He plonked himself down on the hardwood floor and Farley trotted up to him. The Brit began to stroke him idly, thinking of different names. "Any suggestions?" he asked.
"Woof!"
"Helpful as always," he said sarcastically, but he scratched behind the canine's ears. "Well it needs to be something I'll remember, so it should begin with 'A'… Meh, let's just go with Alice. Seems easy enough." Farley barked his agreement and Arthur tried once again to sound like a girl, but he just sounded like he had a terrible cold or something weird stuck in his throat.
"This isn't working," he moaned, lying down, which of course Farley took advantage of, using Arthur as a bed and lying on top of him, tail wagging happily. "At least one of us is enjoying this."
After a few more failed attempts, Arthur decided that Alice would have to be a mute. Either that, or incredibly shy. He could just about manage a few words if he spoke fairly quietly, so that would have to do.
"On the plus side," Arthur said, settling down because Farley didn't look like he'd be moving any time soon, "I look atrocious, so at least there won't be any guys hitting on me." He shuddered at the idea before he laughed. "Ugh, could you imagine? How awkward would that be?"
x~x~x~x~x
A few days later saw 'Alice' stood outside of the World Academy building on a mission. Emerald eyes bore into the building as if it had personally wrong him. "Okay Art, you are a strong, independent woman," he told himself, but he couldn't take himself seriously. After a few minutes of immature snickering, he clenched his fists and headed into the building once more.
Honestly, in his head electric guitars were going off and the way he was striding down the corridor made it seem as though he was going into battle, not trying to sign a slip of paper to enable him to take a bloody test. He corrected his stance before he walked into the reception area, trying to look as meek as possible and gearing up to play 'shy Alice', which was ludicrous really because Arthur was a lot of things, and quiet and shy weren't included in that.
If he really pulled this off, he'd be expecting an Oscar.
He knocked this time, having learnt his lesson from the other day, and waited until he heard the snooty receptionist give him the esteemed privilege of entering.
Instead of a look of loathing this time, Arthur (or Alice, whatever) actually received more of a curious look that was bordering on pitying. Well, he was one ugly chick so that was probably to be expected. He should start a television programme, 'How To Switch Genders For Under Ten Dollars (As Long As You Don't Mind Looking A Bit Shit)'. Given the popular rubbish Americans favoured on the telly these days, it would probably be a hit.
Anyway.
"Can I help you?" the woman asked in a much more agreeable tone than before.
"Yes," Arthur said, voice quiet and soft and as high as he could make it without sounding like a chipmunk on speed that was here to take the piss. "I, uhm… the scholarship test?" he asked, wrapping a strand of the straw-like hair around his index finger. Well, he may as well milk the 'shy' angle. "C-Can I sign up?"
The woman hesitated for a moment, very obviously looked him (what she thought was a 'her) up and down, before smiling and nodding. "Of course, here are the papers we need you to sign." She reached down and pulled a drawer out of the desk, retrieving a few papers and laying them on the desk along with a pen. Arthur nodded and headed over, hardly surprised when he saw they were asking for name, age, the usual.
Name: Alice Kirkland
Age: 16
Birthday: 23rd April
Gender: Female
Next Of Kin:
Arthur hesitated at that, biting his lip and looking at the text in confusion. He would have questioned it, but then that would have lead to more questions and then a sob-story and Arthur didn't want pity from anyone, especially the woman who clearly thought his actual self was worthless. He would have put Rome, but that would probably rope the man into obligations that he didn't need to be a part of and probably connect him to those infamous grandsons somehow, and how would he explain to Rome why his grandchildren were talking about some shy girl called Alice as opposed to a fiery guy called Arthur? So Rome wasn't an option.
Next of Kin: N/A
It took about ten minutes in total for everything to be filled in, at which point Jeanne had to look through everything. She did focus on the 'Next Of Kin' bit but as she raised her gaze to ask about it, Arthur did his best to look so tragic and pathetic that the woman would feel like a murderer for even trying. Luckily it worked, and everything was accepted.
"Here you are," she said, handing him a slip of paper with the date, time and building that the test would be held in. "There are four primary sections on our scholarship test. English, Mathematics, General Knowledge, and a question in which you will have to write an essay. There is only one full scholarship available. Best of luck."
Arthur took the paper and just about managed to resist fist-pumping or shouting out a 'Come on!' lest he give himself away. Instead, as Alice, he nodded politely and a little awkwardly, before scurrying out of the reception. But he had done it. He had actually gotten permission to sit the test.
Now all he had to do was actually get the scholarship…
x~x~x~x~x
The following few days were a blur of aggressive reading at the local library, cursing at the slow internet speeds provided by wi-fi cafés while trying to look at any past scholarship papers, beating the shit out of some random wanker who challenged him, and generally going through a massive stage of self-doubt which was shortly followed by a bout of inexplicable courage and the feeling of invincibility. The whole process would have made a rather wicked montage had Rocky been about studying and swotting up and not fighting.
The actual test itself was a blur. Arthur, as Alice, had successfully infiltrated the building and was quickly sized up by the competition. The girls sent him pitying looks and any guys looked as though they wanted to head for the hills. Pfft, they would be honoured to have the sexy that was Alice Kirkland!
(That's what he told himself, anyway, because, yes, he resembled a troll as Alice, and while he wasn't vain, it wasn't nice to be so obviously tragic in the looks department).
The test was one of those that were so utterly important that you forgot anything and everything that was on it as soon as it was over. So when the horror finally ended, and he had been sufficiently judged and teased by the others hoping to get into the academy, he found that the previous hours were nothing but a nerve-wracking blank. He couldn't even begin to hazard a guess at how well he had done and he had half a mind to storm the antique shop despite him having got the day off for the test just so he could go yell at Rome for ever convincing him to go for it.
And so that brings us to this current moment in time: Arthur on one side of his flat, Farley by his side with his ears pricked up and his tail stiff, as if waiting for the signal from his master to attack. The adversary was stationed on the other side: a poncy looking letter with the World Academy logo on the envelope and a fancy-arse seal.
The showdown had been going on for a good ten minutes and still Arthur didn't dare to move, scared that if he moved just a centimetre the envelope would explode or something. He should just throw it away and not read it, spare himself the disappointment. Better to live in ignorance, right? It was supposedly bliss. And, if he were to go by the Schrödinger's Cats theory, by not opening the envelope then he had actually passed and failed, which was better than just an outright fail.
"Bloody hell, what were the odds anyway?" he questioned, looking at Farley as if he knew the answer. "There were easily fifty people there, maybe even more. And some looked like they had been studying their whole lives for it."
He knew he'd have to open it eventually though and so very carefully he began to slowly edge his way closer to the door where the mail-slot was and the mass of post was that lay underneath (or, that should have been how it went, but Arthur rarely got letters, or calls, or texts, or- you get the idea).
He grasped the enveloped and sat down on the floor, cross-legged, and Farley moved to shove his nose under Arthur's arm so that he could get a good look at the action while simultaneously nuzzling his leg in comfort. "Cheers, boy," Arthur murmured before sucking in a breath and breaking the seal. He pulled the letter out and quickly decided that treating the letter as if it were a plaster and simply ripping it off quickly was the best possible solution to this. Get the rejection quickly and then move on.
Dear Miss Kirkland,
He read and he groaned. "I've failed," he said instantly, "You can just tell by the tone and everything. You read it!" He pushed the letter into his dog's face but both realised that such an arrangement would not work, so he reluctantly carried on reading.
We are pleased to inform you that you have been awarded a full scholarship to attend World Academy W. The scholarship will be in effect until the end of your schooling with us, and—
Arthur stopped reading at this point, his eyes wide and wondering if he had fallen asleep or if he had forgotten how to read or- or—
"Oh my god!" he exclaimed, skim-reading the rest. Something about the standard being really high, this is such an accomplishment, looking forward to seeing her (oh shit, he had to be a girl for two years now while at school, damn didn't think that through…) at the start of the upcoming school year starting in September.
"This is mental," he breathed, but he was soon jumping around the room laughing. "Yeah! In your face you World Academy lot! I got in! Me! Hah!" He grinned at the universe before looking at Farley, who was more than happy to join in with this high-energy bout of jumping around the room, and rushed to the door. "Let's go see Rome and tell him," he told his dog, not seeing the need for a lead because the dog was loyal and tended not to leave Arthur's side anyway.
x~x~x~x~x
Euphoria could only last so long and, unfortunately, the same held true for bragging rights. Arthur would have been content to stay on top of his little cloud, but he came crashing back down to earth and probably took some poor sods with him on the way when he noticed that a snobby check-list had also been in the envelope stating the materials that he needed. Pens he could do, and he could get a big pad of paper relatively easily.
But that fucking uniform.
He didn't know if the thing had been handcrafted by blind monkeys, or perhaps was made of pure solid gold, or maybe the uniform also doubled as a butler that could make tea and sandwiches on demand, but he did know that it was basically theft to charge such a large amount for some material.
"Farley, I think we need to rob a bank or something," Arthur sighed as he collapsed onto the old sofa and stared once more at the stupidly high figure that he didn't have a hope in hell of reaching. Arthur actually turning into a real girl would be more likely.
Farley, in all of his canine wisdom, wisely kept his distance as if to say that robbing banks was a bad idea. The blonde just groaned and buried his head in the sofa cushions. It had all been fine until people had begun rolling out the 'Back To School' signs and all of a sudden the apocalypse seemed to descend as Arthur realised he needed to get kitted out.
(And he took his kitting out seriously. And by 'seriously' that meant threatening to stab someone violently with the pen if the bastard refused to let go. Because Arthur got there first and it was the cheapest one).
Before he even realised it September had arrived and he only had a few days to get everything sorted. He had not managed to improve upon the wig and he couldn't find anything that remotely resembled the World Academy uniform so it was either robbing a bank, mugging a student and taking their uniform (but he was hardly about to assault a girl; he did have some morals and he was no where near that desperate), or turning up on the first day to the world renowned education facility looking like a deformed half-gypsy-half-naked-mole-rat concoction.
(Well maybe that was a little bit extreme, but the point is it wouldn't be that good).
"Well," Arthur mumbled into the cushions, trying for once to be optimistic, "I doubt even the World Academy uniform could make me look any better, so what's the point?"
He sighed. So much for trying to blend in and be invisible when he started. He was going to stick out like a sore thumb and he already saw this whole thing being a train-wreck. But hey, at least he could say he tried and years from now, when he was older, he could tell a rather amusing anecdote of that crazy time he cross-dressed just so he could get an education.
God his life had gotten very weird very quickly, hadn't it?
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Yay! He's going to be at the Academy in the next chapter! Here's a sneak preview: Art makes a 'best friend', meets the Academy's Golden Boy, and also ends up wearing a bra. So look out for it~
Please review and another lightning fast update will probably appear :3
xx-animeXalchemist-xx
