Jack swallowed hard. No. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. He took a step back trying hard not to burst into tears. Ianto was still shivering, holding Gabe close as though if he let go it would make everything real.
"What happened?" Jack asked quietly.
"I…" Ianto took a shuddering breath, fresh tears coursing down his cheeks. "He was fine earlier and then… I put him down for a nap… but when I came to check on him…"
Ianto stopped. He couldn't carry on. He couldn't say it. He sat down on the bed that he and Jack shared, rocking back and forth gently.
"Are you sure he's…" Jack wandered slowly over and sat down next to Ianto.
Ianto nodded mutely. He'd known from the moment he entered the back room that Gabe was dead. There had been something about the eerie silence as he wandered over that had told him there was no one else there. Just an empty shell where his son used to be.
"Oh god…" Jack covered his face with his hands.
Ianto turned towards Jack, reaching out with one hand to stroke his back gently. Jack couldn't bear it; he pulled Ianto towards him, hugging him tight, careful not to squash Gabe.
Jack sobbed into Ianto's shoulder, fingers ghosting over his son's tiny body. Ianto didn't make a sound. It was almost like he didn't want to make too much noise in case he woke Gabe up.
"What did I do wrong?" Ianto whispered after a moment.
"Nothing," Jack pulled back far enough to look at Ianto. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"I must've done something…" Ianto closed his eyes for a moment.
"Maybe it was me… maybe because I'm immortal…" Jack shook his head. "We need to get Owen."
"What? Why?" Ianto asked.
"He'll need to… oh god… he'll need to do an autopsy… and…" Jack ran a hand through his hair. "Oh god… why now?"
"No… no he's not cutting up our son," Ianto shook his head, cuddling Gabe, holding his tiny hand.
"Ianto…"
"NO!" Ianto shouted. "No one is coming near him… not yet… I just…"
Jack watched Ianto, his heart breaking. How could this have happened? They dealt with aliens all the time and their son is killed by something as human as cot death? It was unbearable. There were only so many times he could get hurt like this. Jack wasn't sure if he'd be able to cope with another loss.
"I need to hold him for a bit longer," Ianto continued, calmer now. "Please."
Jack nodded. He stood up and headed for the ladder up to his office. He still had to call Owen even if Ianto didn't want to hand Gabe over yet. His hands flew over his desk trying to find his ear piece. When he finally found it Owen didn't pick up straight away. He sounded annoyed when his voice floated down.
"What do you want Jack?" He asked.
"I need… I need you to come back…" Jack closed his eyes willing himself not to break down.
"Jack? What's happened?" Owen had heard the desperation in Jack's voice and even he, king of sarcasm, knew where to draw the line.
"I just need you to come back, ok?" Jack hung up before Owen could answer.
He spent the next agonising ten minutes waiting for Owen. He almost hoped that when he went to fetch Ianto, he'd find it had all been some cruel trick.
"Jack?" Jack almost fell off his chair as he realised Owen was stood in front of him. "What's wrong?"
Jack burst into tears again. It just wasn't fair. Why did it have to be their little angel? Owen put a hand on his shoulder.
"Where is he?" He asked gently.
"Ianto's got him," Jack managed to say finally, not questioning how Owen knew what had happened. "But I don't think he wants to let go."
"Ok," Owen straightened up. "You go and talk to him. I'll be waiting in the autopsy bay when you're ready."
Jack nodded and watched Owen leave his office. He'd never truly appreciated what a compassionate medic they had. Taking a deep breath, Jack went back down to Ianto who was still sat on their bed, cuddling Gabe, whispering in Welsh to him.
"Owen's waiting," he said quietly.
"Jack… I don't…" Ianto pressed his cheek gently to the top of Gabe's head. How could this happen?"
"I don't know," Jack wandered over, standing in front of Ianto. He held out his hands desperately. "Can I hold him?"
Ianto nodded and gently passed their son over.
"Hello baby," Jack held Gabe close. "Oh… I'm sorry…"
Ianto pressed his palms into his eyes until little white stars erupted in his vision. He could hear Jack talking to Gabe gently, but if he didn't look he could pretend that there son was alive and looking at Jack with his beautiful blue eyes.
"He can't be… oh Jack… this is killing me…" Ianto sobbed. "Our little angel… he can't really be…"
"I know," Jack stroked Ianto's head with his free hand. "I know."
Ianto took a deep breath and stood up. Jack watched him carefully until finally he nodded and Jack began the slow walk to the autopsy bay.
Owen looked up as they approached, marking something on his clipboard. Jack lay Gabe down on the table, reluctantly standing back. Ianto had sat on the steps, unable to watch.
"You don't have to be here," Owen said gently. "And it might be better if you weren't."
"No… no we…" Jack trailed off and went to sit by Ianto, pulling him close. "We just… we have to make sure our baby's ok."
Owen nodded.
"I'll be as quick and non evasive as possible," he promised, gazing down at the tiny form of Gabriel and wishing he hadn't been so dismissive of the child.
