Please review :) a lot of the story is going to be in cat's view
CAT POV
One more day. These words have been ringing in my head all day. Nothing can silence them, not the sound of my bow hitting an animal, or my knifes hitting a tree in my frustration. My frustration at the ringing of the words in my mind, the words that seem tattooed on my brain.
I sit on a log, too annoyed to go on hunting. I toss my game bag on the floor. I see a squirrel's tail peaking out of the bag, and I feel regret. I've never really liked hunting animals that much, not like Beck and Jade. They don't feel regret as their arrow or knife hit an animal, they know that this animal is providing food for their family. I know that too, but I would be happy just picking berries and katnisses. But that won't keep my two younger siblings fed properly, they need the meat to keep them healthy and strong. That knowledge is what gives me the power to release the arrow from my bow and hit the animal in the eye.
I braid my long dark brown hair into a braid down my back and think about how tomorrow is going to be. I'm going to have to boil the water for my siblings baths and make sure that they look presentable. Annie will wear my old reaping outfit and Tommy will use Beck's old one. I'm thankful that Beck and Jade always have my back. Even though Beck has been busy with Tori lately, he's still one of my best friends.
I hear a twig snap behind me, and I grab my bow, load an arrow and whip around to face whoever is behind me all in one quick second.
"Woah, woah, relax kitty cat." Beck emerges from behind a tree with his hands up.
I roll my eyes. "Next time don't try to sneak up on me."
He grins and walks up to me, plopping down beside me on the log. "What are you doing here by yourself? Why didn't you invite me or Jade?"
"Jade is at home, her younger sister is sick," I explain. "And I figured you would be with Tori, since it's Sunday and all." My gaze drops to my feet, Tori is sort of a sore spot with all of us. She's the one who stole away our best friend and he's the one who went willingly.
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," he whispers.
"It's okay," I mumble. I fiddle with my bow, too nervous to meet his eyes.
"No, Cat, it's not okay," he insists. "You and Jade are my best friends, and I haven't been there for you guys the way I should be."
"Beck, it's okay, I know you care about Tori," I reply, my eyes meeting his and I smile at him. "It's okay."
"No Kitty Cat, it's not, you and Jade mean the world to me," he tells me and he grabs my hand. "Especially you."
I stare down at his hand wrapped around mine. His words drape over me, suffocating me with their intensity. I force my eyes to meet his, I try to force out a reply, but I'm choked by what he's just said.
Especially you.
He does his famous half smile and squeezes my had even tighter. "I love Tori and Jade, but you'll always be special."
I'm half tempted to reach into my quiver and stab myself with an arrow to see if this is actually happening. I've always known that Beck cares about me, it's obvious. We were each others best friends, until Jade came into our group when we were eight. I'll never forget when we were twelve and Beck and Jade liked each other. I guess that's when I realized how much more Beck meant to me than I did to him. Luckily Jade and Beck grew out of it, I think it had simply been a case of the edges of friendship and romance getting blurred. That and the fact that they were both so beautiful.
His words were a shadow of the three ones I had longed to hear in my deepest, most secret desires. I was a bubbly, loving girl, but underneath that was a girl who didn't understand love, even though she felt it. The though of love paralysed me, the thought of my mother crumbling at my father's death always in the back of my mind. That's where Tori was brave, and I wasn't. She loved Beck freely with no hesitations, while I had nothing bu hesitations.
I smile at him, it's all I can manage. I feel his eyes linger on my lips, and then they trail back to my eyes. He grabs my other hand, is he going to kiss me?
A part of me wants this, but the stronger part knows that I can't have it. Beck is with Tori, and maybe that's where he belongs.
"Are you nervous about the reaping?" I ask, trying to drive his mind somewhere else.
He frowns, and lets go of one of my hands. I let out a breath of relief, I hadn't even realized I had been holding my breath the whole time.
"Yeah," he admits. One of his hands is still interlocked in mine, but the moment has passed, and his hand feels natural in mine.
"Four tributes," I whispered.
He nods. "I keep thinking about all the slips Jade, you and I have. What if one of us is chosen?"
"I don't know Beck," I confess. "The whole thing makes my heart hurt."
He squeezes my hand. "Mine too. The only thing I'm thankful for is that none of our siblings have taken out any tesserae." Beck has two younger sisters, one of which was born just after the mining accident. Jade has one younger sister that she basically raised after her mother and older sister died of pneumonia. I have Annie and Tommy, who are my responsibility since my mother is unable to care for any of us. Annie, Jade's younger sister, and Beck's oldest sister were all twelve, and Tommy was thirteen. We had all been on edge since this was the three girl's first year, the only thing that had kept us going that they each only had one slip, compared to the twenty something each of us had.
"Annie has been having nightmares about it," I say, the distress in my voice obvious.
"Yeah, so has Cindy, I guess it makes sense, we've sheltered them so much," he replies.
I nod, it's true. We've all made sure they've always had enough food, except for the few months when me and Annie almost starved to death after out father's death. We've made their lives as good as it gets living in the Seam.
"I'm just so scared that I'll get picked and Annie will be left with my mother," I confess. "She can't handle my mother, I've protected her, she won't be able to take it."
I feel Beck's body tense beside mine. I sigh, "I'm sorry Beck, I know you don't like to talk about this."
"I just can't imagine anyone being able to hurt you," he tells me, his hand tightening around mine so tightly that it begun to turn white. But I didn't care.
"Well you better hope I don't get picked for the Hunger Games," I joke.
He turns to face, no laughter present on his face. "Don't even joke about that Cat!"
"Beck, I'm sorry-"
He grabs me by my shoulders, and screams into my face, "I can't even think about losing you!"
I stare at him, my big brown eyes wide with confusion. How can he say these things to me, when he's with Tori. Of course his words could simply be bathed in friendship, but his gaze feels so intense.
I reach up and tuck a strand of his long, beautiful hair behind his ear. "You won't, I promise."
He closes his eyes. "That's the worst part. That you can't promise that, Cat. We live in a world where you can be chosen for a sick game, and be gone forever."
"I would try to win, for all of us," I tell him softly.
He smiles "I know you would, you're always so brave Kitty Cat."
I drop my hand, and he releases my shoulders. "Not like you and Jade. I still get upset when I shoot an animal."
"That doesn't make us brave, that makes you compassionate."
I grin at him, the first real smile I've had in days. He grins back, and pulls me into a bear hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest.
We stay like this for a while, neither of us speaking. It doesn't feel wrong, and I don't think of Tori like I usually do when I'm around him. Their relationship isn't a strain on ours in this moment, because it feels right.
Because like he said, I'm special to him in a way no else is. And he's the first one to make me feel butterflies.
