4

"Right, so I've got my tickets, my luggage - I've left you some dinner in the fridge -"

"Chez, I'm perfectly capable of making my own dinner."

"You say that now, but I know you. You'd be living on bacon butties."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

Picking up the bag she has for the weekend, Cheryl eyes her brother warily.

"Just...promise me you won't get into any kind of trouble while I'm away?"

He laughs. Perhaps a year ago the warning would have been needed, but he knows exactly how he's going to spend the next couple of days, and it sure as hell isn't going to involve a trip to the local police station.

He has something far more enjoyable in mind.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

Brendan tries to neutralise his expression. "Look, I'll be fine. Stop worrying, won't you? You're going to miss your flight."

Her urgency to see her boyfriend momentarily overtakes her need to scold Brendan, and she opens the door of the flat.

"I'll see you on Monday, yeah? Have a good weekend."

They hug, her bag hitting into Brendan's side painfully. He could swear she has bricks in there.

"Say hi to Nate for me."

He has to admit that the guy's not bad, despite his initial reservations.

"Look at that hat...and the hair."

"What's wrong with his hair?" Ste had asked, smile dancing across his lips.

"I never trust a man with that many curls, Steven."

"That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard."

"Will do. Say hi to Ste for me," Cheryl answers with a wink.

Rolling his eyes, Brendan helps her down to the taxi with her bag, waving her off.

The minute the taxi drives out of view he's on his phone. It takes a few rings before he hears the voice he's been craving.

"Hi Bren."

"She's gone," he says, no messing around.

He can practically see Steven smile from here.

"So you've got the place to yourself now?"

"Completely alone."

"Alright, give me half an hour. I need to change first, I'm only in my trackies -"

Brendan feels his pulse begin to race. "Don't bother."

"What?"

"Don't bother to change. I like you in them."

Ste laughs. "They're well scruffy though, I have them from years ago."

Does the boy think that'll put him off?

"I'll see you in ten minutes, Steven."

Hanging up, Brendan goes into the local shops to stock up. Buying condoms for the well endowed in front of Frankie Osborne isn't how he'd choose to spend his time, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

He wants to buy another box as well as his own, Ste's size, because after Dublin, God knows he wants to do that again.

He browses the shelves, picking up a box at random.

Four fun fruit flavours including banana, strawberry, orange and apple! Great for a tasty night in.

"Jesus," he rolls his eyes. He's never sucked Ste off with a condom, has never even entertained the idea. He wants to taste him, not latex, or some fucking fruit overpowering the sensation of his cock in his mouth.

He settles for one with extra lubrication, because he still gets that moment of pain when Ste enters him, that panic. He knows what that's really about though, that it's a matter of time and patience, of looking into Ste's eyes and really seeing who it is. It's not something he can buy in a shop.

Heading back to the flat, he has a few minutes to himself to freshen up. He haphazardly tries to rearrange the furniture so it assembles something close to atmospheric. He's not going to start lighting candles and putting roses on the bed, he's not a girl, but he wants the place to be welcoming, to be...special.

Brendan puts on some aftershave, the one he knows Ste likes, that always makes him lean in closer to his neck, closing his eyes and inhaling.

"You smell good enough to eat."

"Don't let me stop you."

He realises with amounting dread that he feels nervous. He doesn't do nervous, never has done, but every time he sees Ste there is the sense that this is it, that it matters more than anything he's ever had in his life.

He hears that familiar knock on the door, and smiles. For as long as he lives, he doesn't think he'll ever not be happy to see Ste, no matter how much this whole thing has the ability to fucking terrify him.

Ste feels faintly ridiculous, standing in front of Brendan dressed in his smartly tailored suit, while he's in nothing but his old plain t-shirt and faintly stained jogging bottoms. He's legged it over here so quickly that he barely bothered to brush his hair, and it stands up in little tufts. His trainers are scuffed around the edges, and any whiteness that might once have been there looks like it faded years ago.

Brendan has never seen something so desirable.

"Morning," Ste says in that butter wouldn't melt voice that hides a thousand filthy little secrets.

Brendan responds by grabbing him by the material of his t-shirt and drawing him forwards for a kiss.

If Ste's disarmed by the action then he doesn't let it show, immediately running his hands through Brendan's hair, anchoring his face so he gets a mouthful of Brendan's moustache and those soft, warm lips.

Ste had planned for them to have a conversation, something along the lines of 'how are you?' and 'what shall we do for the day?' but that has been forgotten in favour of instant gratification.

Brendan means to steer him towards the bedroom, but it is too far, and the fact that they have the whole place to themselves, no interruptions for two days, swims in the forefront of his mind, intoxicating. Instead he finds himself falling to the bottom of the stairs, dragging Ste with him. He expects a protest, but the boy merely fumbles with the clasp of Brendan's trousers, a small groan already escaping from his mouth.

"Just you and me," Ste practically purrs between kisses, "All weekend."

Brendan grins into the kiss, and lifts his arse from the stairs to allow Ste to rid him of his pants. Ste throws them to the floor like he doesn't have a fucking care in the world, and Brendan loves him for it.

He reaches a hand under Ste's t-shirt to feel the velvety skin underneath. It's softer than anything he's ever felt before, and he wants to lick every inch of it, make his mark with bites and nibbles and caresses until the boy is like a patchwork quilt carved by him. All his.

When he lifts it off him his lips immediately go to Ste's nipples, and he makes them stiff and even pinker with his tongue with little flicking, swirling movements, followed by harder ministrations with his teeth. Ste coaxes Brendan's mouth closer by stroking his neck, and Brendan can sense his mounting excitement, can feel him growing harder.

He changes their positions so that Ste's now sitting against the stairs. He knows it can't be the most comfortable of settings, but neither of them give a damn, grabbing and pulling at each other like this is some long awaited reunion, when they have only been separated for less than twelve hours.

It scares Ste sometimes, how so much of his happiness depends on Brendan's, how Brendan's pain is too mixed with his own. Ste barely feels like he can breathe without him, and he's not sure if he'd want to.

He tries to get his hands on every available inch of skin, loving the masculinity, the hair that he feels running through his fingertips. He is more than happy to relinquish control and let Brendan take the reins like this. There is something thrilling about lying back and let someone fuck you until you're flushed all over, until you can't speak you're so breathless.

But there is also that need to touch, to connect with every part of Brendan that he's offering him. And these days, he offers him everything.

Brendan pulls Ste's jogging bottoms and boxers off him, until all he can see is his dick standing up against his stomach, beautiful and thick, surrounded by a maze of pubic hair that's as dark as the hair on Ste's legs.

He leans forward and begins a slow journey, licking and grazing his teeth along the tattoo that lies above Ste's hip.

"Do you think we'll ever get tired of this?"

Ste's voice comes to him as if through a fog. Brendan can hardly listen to him, not with his body before him like this, already beginning to glisten with sweat and almost melting beneath his touch.

"Hmm?" Brendan idly asks while nuzzling his pubic hair.

"You know..." He hears Ste's breath hitch. "Sex. Do you think we'll ever get tired of it?"

Brendan laughs at the absurdity of the question. Without preamble he takes Ste's cock down to the root.

"Fuck!"

Brendan bobs his head back and forth, then takes it out again. They have all day after all, and there's nothing he enjoys more than Ste wanting it so badly that he's writhing underneath him.

"Why do you ask?" Brendan says, tonguing along the shaft.

"Because..." Ste's breath is shallow. "It might be nice not to lie awake one night and not be able to sleep because I want you with me."

Brendan feels such a wave of affection for the boy, and he's not entirely sure what to do with it. He settles for kissing the inside of Ste's thighs, and he hopes that he realises that his body says what his words sometimes cannot.

"Maybe we should stop spending time apart then." He stills, wondering if he just spoke that aloud, but knows he has from the way Ste's body has frozen.

Shit.

But the world doesn't end.

"Yeah, maybe we should." Ste brings him up for a kiss that is deeply intimate, their lips dancing together, soft and sensual.

Brendan settles back on his elbows again, wondering if he'll ever stop learning new things about this boy, this man, who's life is now his life in so many ways. He never stops surprising him, amazing him.

Perhaps the reason why he can't always find the words is because how do you even begin to explain that to a person? I love you doesn't come close.

"Touch me, Bren."

Brendan doesn't try to refuse, would never want to. They've still got years to make up for, and years to come after that.

He adjusts Ste's legs so that they're around his shoulders, offering Brendan access to his entrance. Dipping his head, Brendan begins to lick around the area, teasing his hole with his tongue, concentrating on his movements and the sounds that Ste's making.

"I swear you do this just to torture me," Ste pants.

"Don't know what you mean." Brendan nibbles one of his smooth arse cheeks, kissing over the red patch that he creates.

"Can't you just...you know..." Ste whines, impatient.

"No, what?" Brendan knows he's being an evil git, but it's half the fun.

"Stick it..."

"Stick what, Steven? You're being very unclear here."

Ste tuts loudly, and Brendan doesn't even have to look at him to tell that he's rolling his eyes.

"Stick your tongue in my bum, okay?"

Brendan laughs loudly, delightedly.

"You filthy little..."

"Yeah, well what else am I meant to do? You always do this, licking round my...my cheeks, and not...there! You do it just to make me beg."

"Really, Steven? Conspiracy theories, are these?" Brendan says, thinking fuck, he's discovered me.

"You forget that I know you, remember?"

"Yeah," Brendan murmurs. "Yeah, you do."

He looks at Ste's face, at the wide eyes staring at him intently.

"Okay then, you win." Despite there being no one else in the flat, Brendan leans in closely and whispers in his ear.

"I'll stick my tongue in you, and then I'll fuck you with my cock until you come." Flush against Ste's chest, he can hear his heart beating loudly. "Then I'll ride you," he all but growls.

Ste swallows, drawing back to look at him. "Well that's...better," he says shakily.

"I thought so." Brendan draws Ste's legs closer and heads straight for his destination, no more games.

"Fucking hell," Ste says, pulling away sharply when he hears a knock on the door. "I bet that Cheryl's. She's probably forgotten her phone or something."

Sighing, Brendan covers himself up with his trousers while Ste does the same with his jogging bottoms. He's hoping it's the postman so he can hurry them away and hide the erection that is tenting his boxers, straining uncomfortably tight.

Making sure that Ste's half decent, although he really wishes he wasn't, Brendan opens the door. He's sure that his mouth drops about ten centimeters at least.

"Eileen, what are you..."

"Cheryl told me she was away for the weekend, and I thought I'd visit with the kids as there's one spare bedroom!"

Brendan walks out onto the balcony, and sees Paddy and Declan with their bags at the bottom of the steps. They wave to him.

"This isn't a bad time, is it? You said you wanted to see the boys more."

"Well yes, but..." He would have liked some warning.

"Then what's the problem?"

Eileen walks into the flat and sees the Ste shaped, golden skinned, thick eye lashed, naked chested problem.

"Jesus..."

Ste would gladly fall into a very large black hole right about now.

Eileen turns to Brendan, who stares at her sheepishly.

"Do you two ever do anything else?"

5

The nights were the hardest. In the daytime Ste had distractions - taking the kids to see Mike, spending time with Amy, doing routine, mechanical tasks like helping Leah and Lucas to get dressed and eat breakfast. By day three he started to think he was going mad, imagining the sound of a deep Irish voice behind him when he was out shopping, or spotting someone in the street who looked like Brendan.

It helped that when the kids were in bed he could see Brendan's face, even if it was just through a computer screen. Mike had allowed him to borrow his laptop, eyeing Ste warily like he was a ticking time bomb, and was bound to drop it at any second.

It comforted him, seeing Brendan's face. But it made it harder in a way, having him so close, right in front of him, and not being able to touch him.

"You're missing him, aren't you?" Amy asks on the forth day.

"What - who?"

"Dennis Savage. Who do you think?"

"Oh, right," Ste mutters into his cereal. Maybe if he doesn't talk about it, he won't miss him as much.

"You've got a face like a sucked lemon, Ste."

"Alright, lay off me!"

"Aw, I think it's sweet really," she says, sitting down beside him. "If it wasn't Brendan."

"I thought you said you'd be nice to him from now on?"

"I said I wouldn't hate on him. There's a difference."

"Hmmm," he says skeptically, shoveling his spoon around his bowl, cutting the cereal into tiny pieces.

"I did invite him to come."

"He can't just leave the club though, can he? And I don't think Mike would have liked me bringing my boyfriend to his house. He can barely stand me being in it."

"That's not true..." Amy trails off, both of them knowing that it is.

They've reached a strange kind of alliance over the years, but Ste knows that Amy's father will never forget about what he did to her.

"Anyway, you'll be home soon. But it's nice for the kids to get to know their granddad better."

"I know. It's not like I can't survive a few days without Brendan anyway, is it?"

Except he can't sleep at night. He lies awake and can almost imagine Brendan beside him if he closes his eyes, can conjure up a vision of him sprawled out on the bed, in that state between not quite being awake, and not being completely asleep.

It's 2am, and Ste's fidgeting, tossing and turning in his bed before he finally abandons the hope of settling, and rises. He turns on Mike's laptop, logging onto Skype. He doesn't truly expect to find him online at this time, but there he is, as if Ste summoned him from his thoughts alone.

"What are you awake at this time for?" Brendan asks, and Ste can see that he's in his room, the lighting low and dim.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I couldn't sleep."

"Aw, missing me?" He asks before he's able to stop himself.

He's surprised when Brendan doesn't deny it.

"It's strange without you stealing the covers from me."

"Er, I think you'll find it's the other way round."

Ste can see the amusement dance in Brendan's eyes. "Well I'm bigger than you, aren't I? I need more...warmth."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing, it's just with those chicken arms of yours..."

Ste pretends to shut the screen off, before Brendan relents and apologises.

I could do this all my life. Argue like this with him, have him tease me. Just...be with him.

"How are the kids?" Brendan has found himself missing their chaos, the relentless chatter.

"They're loving it. They thinks Manchester's Australia or something, the way they're going on about it. Mike's proper spoiling them."

"Good. They deserve a holiday."

"How are things at the club?"

Boring, if truth be told. But he doesn't want Ste to start worrying about him, thinking that he's not enjoying himself. Although if he's being honest, every day he's had to stop himself from buying a ticket to Manchester, coming up with a range of excuses in his mind as to why he couldn't stay away. They all sound feeble when spoken out loud, and every one amounts to the same thing. His world just isn't his world without Ste in it.

"Fine. Same old same old."

"And the deli?" Ste feels guilty for leaving it, half thinks that when he comes back the 'Hay' in the sign will have been scratched off.

"I don't go there when you're not working."

"Why not?" Brendan can devour three paninis in one sitting on a good day.

"I don't really want my jam sandwiches made by your ex husband, Steven." He tries to keep his voice calm.

"True..." Ste murmurs almost inaudibly, so that Brendan has to lean closer to the screen. He wishes he hadn't brought it up now, but know's a dramatic change of subject will give him away.

"But it all seems okay, right?"

"Douglas is still in his jumpers, that annoying blonde girl -"

"Leanne -"

"She's filling in for you. It all looks normal."

"Good," Ste nods, satisfied.

"So..." Brendan sits back in his chair, leaning back on his hands. "Have you been...thinking about me?"

Ste frowns. Brendan doesn't do touchy feely. He isn't going to want to know how many times Ste's scrawled Brendan on pieces of paper while he's meant to be listening to something Mike's said. He's not enquiring after how many times Ste's walked past a clothes shop and seen something that would look fantastic on him, or when he's seen stationary with giant taches on and laughed so loudly that people have started staring.

"What do you mean?"

Brendan smiles fondly at the boy's innocence. There is the part of Ste that everyone else gets to see. Slightly naive, perhaps not the brightest person in the world, even innocent at times. Then there is the side that only Brendan gets to see. Completely abandoned, throwing his head back, swearing at the top of his lungs, asking Brendan to fuck me hard, right there, and do you want me to suck you off, or rim you? The boy has the ability to even bring colour to Brendan's cheeks. It's just about drawing it out of him.

"You know...when you can't sleep. Do you think about me?"

Ste blushes. Oh. That.

"Maybe...some nights."

Every night.

"What do you think about?"

Ste checks behind his shoulder, just to make sure that Mike's not there lurking in the shadows, or that he's about to wreck his kids innocence forever.

"Um...well, you know..."

Brendan waits expectantly, enjoying the sight of Ste biting his lip in hesitance.

"You...with me..."

Brendan laughs. "I'm going to need more than that, Steven. I've just gone five days without you."

"Alright you big perv, what do you think about?"

"I asked first," Brendan says, low, deep.

It's not that Ste isn't used to this kind of talk. But usually Brendan's lips are around his cock, or his cock in his arse, and he's reacting completely in the moment. He feels foolish now, grappling for things to say when Brendan isn't even in the room.

"Check your bag, Steven. The side pocket."

"Okay..." Ste has barely bothered to unpack, that way they'll be less work to do when he leaves. Amy has called him a 'practical kind of lazy.'

He disappears from view, trying to search through his bag quietly, completely confused about what he's looking for. Brendan waits, trying not to laugh.

He steels himself when Ste storms back to the computer screen.

"You put this in my bag?"

"Yes..."

"Are you crazy? What if the kids had looked through it?"

"They're well behaved, Steven."

"Have you met my kids?"

"They wouldn't even know what it is."

"What would I tell them though? That daddy Brendan brought daddy Ste a sex toy?" He asks, waving the dildo in his hand manically.

"Not exactly what I had in mind. Look, will you stop having a fit? I just thought it would be a good chance for you to try out your birthday present."

Ste crosses his arms defiantly, trying to ignore the fact that he probably looks faintly ridiculous with a nine inch rubber cock in his hand.

"It's not a responsible thing to do."

"I just thought...you're there, I'm here. Maybe we could still have some...fun."

Brendan even has the capacity to make the word 'fun' sound like a come on. Ste can feel his resistance weakening. He can't deny that any sleep he has had has been filled with dreams. Brendan's hands on him, his mouth, his words whispered in his ear. During one uncomfortable episode that he never wants to repeat again, he had to ask Amy for help getting new sheets, not wanting his humiliation to extend to going to Mike.

"What kind of fun?" He asks, knowing exactly what kind.

"You could play with it," Brendan replies, nodding to the dido.

Ste's lips part in an 'O' shape. "Everyone's asleep just down the corridor."

"Hmm that's true, silence has never been your strong point..."

"Oi! I'm sure I can manage," he says stubbornly.

Brendan smiles challengingly. "Go on then. I dare you."

Brendan's really into this, Ste can tell. His arousal sends a buzz through Ste, the irresistible thought of Brendan watching while he touches himself, while he makes himself come.

Ste slips out of his pajama bottoms, and hears Brendan loosen his own. When he looks again at the screen Brendan has repositioned it, and he can see the dark hair of Brendan's groin, his cock swinging down between his legs. It's enough to make Ste unconsciously touch his own cock, giving it firm strokes which quickly make him hard.

Brendan says nothing, just concentrates on Ste's expression and his body movements, drinking it all in. He mirrors the boy, touching himself and wishing that his hands were Ste's.

Ste closes his eyes when he really starts to get into it, small sighs escaping his mouth. Brendan can't think of a more perfect sight, and fixates on the way Ste's skin is growing even more golden, the way his large hands look when enveloped around his cock.

"I wish you were here right now," Ste whispers.

Brendan smiles softly, knew that Ste would enjoy this, knew that it wouldn't be long till he'd be uninhibited and craving more.

"What would you do to me?" Brendan asks, and finds that he sounds breathless.

"I'd go into your mouth...all the way in...right down. Move back and forth..." Ste wants it so fiercely that he can almost feel it.

Brendan wets his lips. God does he want that.

"You'd put your fingers in me..."

Ste's eyes are still closed, and he looks a million miles away while he fists his cock.

"Look at me, Steven."

Brendan almost regrets asking that, because when Ste opens his eyes it makes him want to come. He is like an open book, every dark, lustful thought there in every line, every look.

"Do you want to put that in you?" Brendan breathes, motioning to the dildo.

Ste nods without hesitation, and picks it up. It had seemed rubbery and cold to him when he'd held it before, but now with his sweat slicked hands it's warm, and he is desperate to get it inside him, to try to recreate that feeling of Brendan filling him.

He takes the lube sachet that Brendan had packed alongside - because of course Brendan would be that prepared, the filthy fucker thinks of everything - and smears it over the dildo.

He spreads his legs, making sure that Brendan has a clear view. Ste's breathing is shallow, and when he inserts the head of the dildo his heart rate speeds up, his inner muscles contracting around it, wanting to reject it at first.

Brendan is transfixed. He loves to watch his cock enter Ste for the first time, watch as Ste's body takes it all in, and this is no different. He imagines the familiar sensation that his cock feels inside that tight, dark body, and he touches himself harder, quicker.

Ste wills his body to relax as he pushes the dildo in deeper. He stifles a moan as he slowly begins to move it backwards and forwards. He's used to the size now with Brendan, but it still takes him a moment to adjust, especially after these days apart.

Brendan stills in his own actions to instead focus on Ste. The boy is biting down on his lip and gripping the chair edge with his free hand. He looks close to climax already. Maybe it's something about the way they're doing this, how Brendan is watching him, his full arousal depending on what Ste is doing to himself.

Ste moves his hips upwards in time with his movements with the dildo, and begins to stroke his cock again, although he is sure he could come from the feeling of penetration alone.

He tries to break out of his almost dazed like state to look at Brendan again, and sees that his finger is circling his hole while he looks at Ste.

"Go on," Ste encourages, and Brendan pushes a finger into himself, fucking himself on it.

He is desperate for release, desperate to spill his load everywhere, is feeling so fucking horny that he could lick himself clean of his own come if he was asked. But he senses that Brendan's not quite there yet, and wills his body to hold off for longer, tries to slow down his movements with the dildo.

"I love you," Ste says, because he does, because he couldn't let go like this with anyone but Brendan, the person who has made him into the man he is. He loves him for it, he wants to worship the ground he walks on for it sometimes, because Ste likes who he is now.

"I love you too." Just like that, Brendan gives it back, and Ste can barely remember a time when he didn't believe that he'd ever hear those words in return.

Ste watches the build up of Brendan's orgasm, watches as he begins to tense and lose control. He is so, so close.

"Ste?"

He hears a whisper through the door, and jumps at Mike's voice, hurriedly dislodging the dildo.

Brendan stares at the screen with wide eyes as he sees Ste stand up, dressing himself in panic.

Ste leans close to the door, never more thankful for the invention of locks than he is right now.

"Yes?" He hopes that his voice doesn't give him away.

"I heard a noise. Are you okay?"

"Er, yeah. I just couldn't sleep, sorry."

"As long as you're fine..."

Oh yes, I'm fine. I was nearly just caught making some kind of sex tape with my boyfriend by my ex girlfriend's father, but...

"Yeah, completely fine."

He waits for a second, hardly daring to breathe, then Ste hears the sound of footsteps on the carpet, and a door closing softly.

Tiptoeing back to the computer, Ste has a strong desire to hit Brendan with the nearest pillow when he sees him break out in near hysterics. Sometimes he almost wishes he could have his closeted Brendan back, if only to save him the embarrassment.

"You're an idiot," he says, bottom lip jutting out.

Brendan grins at him, can never resist Ste when he's in a sulk.

"So, where were we?"