Drift SANITY chapter 2
I came downstairs to be greeted with a lovely platter of cabbage soup, cabbage stir-fry, cabbage... rice and.. and.. aghh...
"Get yourself a plate. The food isn't going to stay hot forever." He nags. I get myself a plate and helped my self to the garden of leaves. Shinobu sits across from me, and gets him self some food as well. This is my chance! This is my chance to talk to Shinobu and ask him why he is so obsessed with me. Not from now, but from the beginning as well.
"Hey, shinobu.." He looks up at me with those innocent, lying eyes and waits for my answer.
"Ahh, I was thinking about the first time we met, and I wanted to know what was it about me that you liked?" I can see his face blush a bright pink and turns his head, cutting off eye contact.
"D-didn't I already tell you?"
"Not that I remember? Why not tell me it again?"
"Because it is destiny. We w-where destined to be together!"
Sheesh, back with the destiny crap. "OUTSIDE of destiny, Shinobu, what is it that you like so much?"
"Well, you kn-know! Your nice and, ahh.. average?"
"Average?! You're having trouble finding things to like about me?"
"I said it was destined we be toge-"
"And who is the long bearded, magical wizard who said we MUST be together? Nobody other than you told me about this prophecy." Shinobu then quickly stood up from his chair in anger. Knocking down the chair in the process.
"What the hell?! Miyagi, whats with you?! I just made you dinne-"
"You call THIS dinner?! This is a cabbage patch! I've seen less green in vegan restaurants."
Uh oh, I think I really pissed him off now. His angered face softens into a more saddened look, but the fury is still present. Did I go too far?
"... Miyagi.. I was going to say that I made you 'dinner' because I love you. I stay with you not only because of destiny, but because I respect and love you as a person. I can't believe I have to explain this to you!"
"But... My question is, why do you love me?"
"Because... Be-because I... I-I just do! Now excuse me, I'm going to continue eating in my room."
He left the room shortly after (left rather quickly) and slammed the door to his room with as much force as his slim arms can muster. Did what I say really bother him that much? I was just questioning our relationship. He rarely talks about it, and when he does, he brings the old "because destiny" excuse! ALL I wanna know is why he likes me so much.
I continue to eat in silence while thinking about what Shinobu was complaining about. He loves me, but he never said why. He actually stuttered just to find that half-assed reason. Why can't he answer the question? Does he only love me for my looks?...
Love only for looks..
When we first met, he really wanted me to screw him for some reason. I tried once and the terrorist started crying! I did it again and he couldn't handle it.. I just don't get this brat.
Before we even got to know each other he just said it was all destiny and stuff. He didn't even know my basic hobbies before he said I was the one! Now that I think about it.. It really does seem like he loves my looks more than myself..
That kinda hurts my feelings... Wait, why am I letting my feelings get so damaged by this kid? Its not like it matters anymore, I can't stay like this forever.
After a couple hours, (I think) Shinobu finally stops barricading himself in his room. I then heard his quiet footsteps approaching my room. The footsteps then stop right in front of my room. Its almost like hes hesitating to come in. Oh never mind, he made up his mind.
"... Hey Miyagi.."
"Shinobu. Got something you want to talk about?" Obviously he wants to talk about something you idiot..
"What was with you back there?" The terrorist questions.
"Excuse me?"
"You where acting weird ALL day! Questioning my cooking, staring at nothing, and just to put the nail on the coffin, you started questioning our relationship as well! Whats with that?!"
"Well, you never talk to me about these kinds of things! I never heard you say anything about what you like about me! I mean, arn't couples supposed to know and share some interest? Other than books, we barely talk!" He starts to look at the ground and play with his thumbs. Obviously he doesn't know how to respond! I knew it.
"Just face it Shinobu; you only wanted me for my looks, huh?"
"NO!" He shouts, kinda startling me. This brat can be so unpredictable at times. I'm surprised I'm not used to it yet, since he shouts oh so often.
"It is not like that.." His voice goes quit.
"Then what is it like? Ever since the beginning, you wanted me to jerk you off. It was weird But I did it anyway! You cried your eyes out so I stopped, but you wanted Moore! I gave you more, and that failed too! You're so fucking confusing that it just drives crazy!"
"Whoa, calm down Miyagi!" I looked down to see that my hands were turning white after balling them up into fists so hard. I didn't even notice! I have to calm down or I'll lose my control. I can't lose my control. It will ruin everything.
"I'm calm, I'm calm. It just really frustrates me when people give me mixed signals and so few straight answers."
"B-But I thought you where gay-"
"That's NOT what I meant dammit! Sigh, where are my cigarettes?" I begin digging through the cabinets until Shinobu snatches my hand and tugs it away from the cabinets. "What are you doing?!"
"I do NOT only like you for your looks! Its not like that at all. There is a lot more too you than that! I'm just not the best at saying those kinds of things." He confesses with a slight blush. So hes just not good with words huh? That still doesn't excuse it.
"But, can you explain to me why you wanted me to molest you so badly when we first met? I mean, I don't think that is a normal thing to say to a stranger... As far as I know..?"
"Why are you asking all these questions Now? Are you... losing interest in me?..." He half whispers, with slight shaky-ness. Why is he so upset? He never seemed that interested in my personal life. Hes so half-hearted that it pisses me off!
"I don't know, I just feel like I'm having a lot of... doubts.."
"D-doubts?! About our relationship?!" He questions in pure shock. At first he was a little sad, but now... oh god.. hes mad again. "What made you have doubts?! Are you interested in somebody else?!" He yells. Agh, back with the yelling! The fucking yelling, I hate it when he yells so much! It just rings in my ears!
"Whats with that?! Are you cheating on me or something?! Of ALL the things we've been through?! Why would you do this! Why to me?! I though we whe-"
"SHUT UP! For shits sake, shut up! You're giving me a headache with your nonstop lip flapping!" He shut up, but I think he did it more out of fear than keeping it quiet. He looks pretty scared actually.
"Miyagi...?"
"I need a drink to calm down. I'll be right back." I got up and got my car keys to go to the nearest liquor store. When I was close to the door, Shinobu grabbed my arm, delaying my escape.
"Wait Miyagi I.."
"Yes?"
"I.. I-I lov-"
"Yeah I know, I'll be right back." And so I left. Leaving Shinobu behind. Only because I needed to! Any longer there and I would have gotten a migraine...
I just can't lose my control... Not now atleast..
