Dean's birthday had fallen on a Friday, and when he awoke early on Saturday, because since there had been no one to watch movies or eat popcorn with, he had fallen asleep early. Their father was still on a hunt and Sammy was sleeping soundly in the bed next to his.
He turned and looked at his baby brother and tried to be angry at him for all that he said a couple of days before and for not staying with him to partake in his birthday festivities, but he couldn't. He just couldn't make himself be angry. He felt a little guilty that he relied so heavily on his brother for friendship, most guys his age didn't want their baby brothers tagging along after them and spoke of them as if they were insects that needed squashed rather than people who needed nurtured and loved.
He finally got out of bed, and was headed to the bathroom when he passed the trashcan. Looking down he could still see the South Dakota University logo on that pristine white paper. He hesitated and then picked it back up out of the trash, read it again, folded it into a neat smaller square and put it in his top drawer. It couldn't hurt to keep it, he reasoned as he stacked clothing on top of the folded paper.
Stepping into the shower he contemplated going to college. Walking down the halls of higher education, belonging there, not just an outsider there to hunt something and save innocent lives that wouldn't even know they were being saved. He imagined having friends, people that weren't his brother, people that would remember his birthday and throw a big party. A party with beer, chicks and gifts. Gifts. The thought made him smile. In addition to the party he would have a steady girlfriend, one who made him feel strong, needed and wanted. He would be her man and she would rely on him to do things, to be there for her and to help her with her homework and to deal with her family problems, and she would just be there to talk to and to relate to him.
Then there was the whole thought of studying something that he was interested in. Sam thought that he was only interested in hunting, chicks and his car, but he was interested in a lot of things and sometimes he thought that maybe, just maybe that he could do something else with his life. He really and truly wanted a wife and children. He wanted to live that normal life that Sam was always talking about, but he knew that that life wasn't in the cards for him. It could be in the cards for his little brother though, and if he could do it, he would make sure Sam got that life. Got to have the family that Dean wanted, got to have the college education that Dean wished he could have, and the normal safe life that didn't involve anything supernatural that ate people. Dean sighed and turned off the water.
"Well," Dean said to his reflection. "If I can't have it, maybe I can live through Sam. Maybe I can be the cool Uncle or something." Dean sighed as he prepared to shave. He knew that would never happen. Sam would go to college and disappear and wouldn't welcome the intrusion of his mindless witless soldier of a brother.
Morning ablutions completed Dean went into the kitchen and fixed himself breakfast, pulled his math book from his book bag and began to look things over. He must have been more engrossed in the text than he realized because he jumped when the phone on the wall next to him started ringing. After he reined his heart back into his chest, he picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Dean?"
"Bobby?"
"Hey there son! I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to call you yesterday. I had a customer who was a pain in the ass. I wanted to wish you a happy birthday." Dean couldn't help but smile. This was actually the first birthday wish he had received.
"Thanks Bobby."
"So, 18 eh? What did you do with yourself? Have some nice little gal over there?" Bobby laughed gruffly.
"No. I listened to my walkman and called it a night." There was silence on the other end.
"Wasn't your daddy?"
"No. Dad is on a hunt and Sammy went out with friends. No big deal really." Dean shrugged and looked down at the math book again.
"Dean…"
"I got accepted into the University of South Dakota." He said trying to change the subject.
"Well I'll be damned! I'm proud of you son." Dean felt his whole face light up. Someone was proud of him and it had nothing to do with his ability to hold a gun or his ability to kill the biggest and baddest supernatural thing on the block. It was all about his smarts. He wasn't used to being known for anything but the brawn in the family.
"It's not really that big of a deal."
"The hell it ain't. You done good! You gonna come live with me and go to school?" Dean had never thought of that. He could go live with Bobby and go to school. He could still hunt and he could have a stable family. He could have everything he ever wanted. Then he thought of Sam. Thought of him being alone with his father and he remembered why he couldn't pack up and go to school.
"No. I just applied to see if I could get in. It turns out they will let anyone go to college." He said attempting to deflect with humor.
"Dean.." Dean heard the older man sigh on the other end. "You are allowed to do things that you want to do."
"I want to stay and hunt with dad." He lied.
"You can't leave your brother." Bobby said perceptively.
"Eh, it doesn't matter Bobby." Dean shrugged. "I need to go. Sammy needs to go to the library today. He has a big project due and I can't let him fall behind in school." Dean heard Bobby sigh on the other end.
"Dean, think about it. Think about doing something for you."
"I will."
"Okay, son, when you get here next month you have a present waiting for you." Dean smiled.
"Thanks Bobby."
"Sure kid." The call ended and Dean put the phone back on the cradle softly. College just wasn't for him.
