Red Sky at Night
Two days ago…
Dollet's small-town pub seemed to be bursting with energy tonight, filled with the low murmur of intimate conversations at its small tables, and the more than occasional garrulous laughter erupting from soused patrons. She could almost taste the alcohol—the air was thick with its general smell. Stale and sweet. This tiny harbor town drank like the ocean was running dry.
Fujin Sanada was alone at the bar again. Most nights this summer had been that way so far, and there were still so many lonely nights to come. They'd arrive together—she, Seifer, and Raijin. But then somewhere in the evening they'd lose themselves in whatever they were pursuing and part ways. For Raijin, it was girls and food—not always in that order. For Seifer it was girls ... but only to a certain extent. He was enjoying their company, sure, but it didn't seem to be his mission this summer—unlike most summers. Fujin was thankful for that. He was spending a lot of his time upstairs playing cards with the locals and walking the streets in solitude ... probably taking stock of what would happen when he returned to Balamb. And yes, he also had some occasional late-night drunken breakdowns spliced in between. But that was a secret between the two of them—a rarity in their trio—and they never talked about the incidents after they happened. Other than that, they'd been ghosts to each other.
It didn't used to be this way ... they were thick as thieves, the three of them. But as the year rolled on and they grew older, she had a terrible feeling that things were changing. That they were all drifting apart.
"Is this seat taken?" Fujin was startled from her deep reverie by a voice that had, surprisingly, snuck up on her. She turned from her perch on the bar stool to see a tall, dark stranger smiling down at her. He had two shot glasses of a clear liquor in his hands, and presumptuously sat one down in front of her as he smoothly rested himself on the unoccupied seat to her right, not even waiting for a response.
The interruption couldn't have been more unwelcome for Fujin at the time. She'd been lost in thought, stirring the fizz out of her club soda with the small cocktail straw it had mysteriously come with, even though it wasn't a cocktail.
She'd been thinking about their return to Garden, the things she'd learned when they'd left, and how she was going to manage them. It was very Fujin of her. She'd always been the planner in her trio—Raijin followed orders blindly, she calculated worst case scenarios and tried to keep everyone's heads above water, and Seifer ... well, Seifer always risked everything and did what he wanted. Nothing ever changed with that.
The only thing that had changed was that she'd passed the SeeD exam, and Seifer hadn't. And she wasn't exactly sure how she was going to tell him.
"Hi there." The stranger flashed a smile, making his presence known again, almost waving to see if she was conscious. She noticed that he had an accent ... something relaxed and from a lazy coastal town in the south. "I'm Abel—can I sit with you?" A silly question, since he was already sitting. He touched the glass with his fingertip and slid it farther in front of her. "It's tequila—a good one—but I can get you anything else if it's not your thing."
"Thanks, but I'm not—" When she turned to look at him and saw his face in full view, lit up by the glow of the neon bar sign, she was taken aback by how handsome he was—dark hair, bright blue eyes, strong jaw, muscular, tall. He had to be older than her ... in his mid-20's, maybe? She blushed, even though he wasn't really her type.
Generally handsome isn't your type? Fujin thought to herself, shaking her head a little. Her irritation dissipated a bit.
"Sorry, I'm not really here to drink." She replied nervously, and held up her glass. "Club soda—the straw's deceptive." He chuckled, and waved for the bartender to come over.
"You know what? It is. Another club soda for the lady." He pulled a few bills out of his pocket, more than necessary, and laid them on the bar. "And throw in a lime for her will you?" He turned and smiled again.
"It's the least I can do. And by the way, don't apologize for turning down a drink. You basically just gave up your power in this situation." He rested his forearm on the bar to lean in closer to her.
"You see, normally, if a girl turned down a drink I would high-tail it back to sit with my friends, who'd all be laughing at me. But you said 'sorry.'" the bartender brought over the club soda and set it between them, with a green wedge of lime resting on the rim.
"Which means you're either sorry you hurt my feelings, or you're sorry that you're not drinking. Either way you can't blame me for stickin' around to find out which one it is." A smile pulled at the corner of her lips, as she gingerly grabbed the lime to squeeze it into the drink, and scooped it up in a thankful motion. He was funny … charming.
"I guess I can't. Thanks for this." Fujin took a sip. "Much better with the lime. I hadn't even thought to ask."
"Well, that means you're thinking waaaay too much about other, more serious stuff than limes. You don't do that at these places." Abel scrunched his nose up. "Not really what people come here for. You're sure you don't want the shot?"
Fujin had been thinking about serious things—mostly about the visit to the infirmary she'd made to see Dr. Kadowaki at Garden, just before they'd left. She'd been feeling ...a little off, to put it mildly. She'd had a strange sensation in her head, every so often, that could only be described as howling or a strong gust of wind ... like when you leave the windows open at your beach home during a hurricane. It was fucking weird, and it scared her. The only thing that she and the doctor could guess was that it was a strange side effect from her GF junctioning. The oddity and unclear diagnosis is apparently what convinced Cid to allow her to pause becoming a full-fledged member of SeeD, and she was almost grateful for it ... glad that it wouldn't create a rift between her and Seifer.
Seifer, she sighed. What did it mean that she'd take a mystery illness over making any waves with him? She quickly glanced around the room for him, but her eyes couldn't find him. He must have made his way outside with someone else … probably that curvaceous blonde he'd been chatting up earlier. Fujin was alone …
Well, if that wasn't a sign to drink, she didn't know what was. Fujin lifted the shot to her lips and tilted her head back. Her new friend laughed.
"There you go!" He waved for another from the bartender. "Now, what could someone like you be so worried about?"
"Someone like me?" She arched a questioning pale eyebrow, and he sat up a little straighter.
"Well yeah, someone as pretty as you." He was very confident, bordering on arrogant. Now that, she already knew, was her type.
"Everyone has problems." Fujin shrugged shyly, and consumed the contents of the glass that had just placed in front of her, ignoring the compliment. She didn't know how to handle compliments and truly never believed them anyway.
"Oh dear, this sounds terribly serious." Sarcastic too—she was warming to his company. He scooted his seat closer so that his knees were grazing her thigh. She felt warm. "Let me see if I can guess what's bothering you, girl who has yet to tell me her name."
"Fujin." She smiled. "It's Fujin."
"Ah, beautiful name!" Able rubbed his hands together and looked around the room.
"Well, if you were here with someone they would have punched me by now. So not man-related?" She hesitated to answer and he laughed, picking up the shot he'd bought for himself and tipping his head back to drink it. Two more were delivered, almost instantly. "Okay, partially man-related. But whoever it is isn't here, so I'm taking that as a good sign. Moving on…"
That stung a little, but Fujin smiled anyway. She thought back briefly on the strangeness that had been this past year, between her and Seifer. Every time they were together there was a heaviness. When they were younger it was so simple—she adored everything he did, and in his true show-boat fashion he reveled in it. But later in life, her adoration turned into something else ... something ... painful. Unrequited. Sometimes, she swore he could sense it ... but they never spoke of it, so she was probably wrong. That familiar ache rose in her chest again, but she pushed it aside.
What was happening right now, in this moment, was lighthearted and refreshing. She craved that.
"Work related?" Her guest interrupted her thoughts.
"Actually yes," Fujin nodded. "It's very much work related."
"Well whaddya you do? Maybe we have something in common." She laughed then, almost spitting out the third shot she was swallowing. Pace yourself Fujin, she thought to herself. Her cheeks flushed. You're not around people you can trust. She turned to look at him and saw a tenderness in his eyes, and was caught off guard. Or maybe you are?
"I doubt it—I'm training to be a SeeD mercenary at Balamb Garden." She looked down at the empty glass. "I just passed my exams, actually."
Abel stared at her wide-eyed for a moment. More drinks arrived, and she left this one alone. She was already feeling a little tipsy ... better to let this one rest for a minute and regain composure, which seemed to slowly be leaving her … like everything else had tonight.
"Shit," he animatedly looked around and said with a smirk, "I knew you were dangerous, just not in a literal life-threatening way." She turned to him and smiled, flirtatiously.
"Don't worry … we're mercenaries, and no one's paid me to hurt you."
"Well, that's too bad." Fujin raised her eyebrows, surprised, and he laughed. She blushed a deep pink. "C'mon, it was too easy." He touched her arm just above her elbow, quickly in apology, sending a faint spark tingling through her.
This guy was definitely older. A man. She felt a little uncomfortable, but … not in a way that she didn't enjoy. He was being pretty forward, and she wasn't used to this kind of unexpected attention. This must be what other girls experience when…
She didn't finish the thought. Her heart sank.
"Well, anyway," Abel motioned to the bartender again. More tequila for him. "I'm a fisherman. So you know, basically the same thing."
"Oh yeah, basically." Fujin laughed, and nervously attempted to tuck strands of silver hair behind her ear. "So what brings you here?"
"Ah, a question for me? See, I knew you weren't lookin' to hurt my feelings." He smirked and grabbed the shot, tossing it back quickly and barely taking his eyes off her. "Just a harbor stop—reloading on supplies, patching some leaks, seeing old friends, and of course breakin' hearts in every port. Typical wayward fisherman stuff." He winked.
"I bet you do." She stared back at him. "You're quite the charmer." Looking down at the empty glass in his hands then, Abel almost seemed alarmed by himself.
"Actually, I'm not usually this bold. It could be the liquor or it could be the audience." He nodded to a table of gruff looking men, around the same age and likely in the same profession, who raised their glasses at him from afar and laughed.
"Ah," she smiled, and placed her chin on her hand. "I didn't know we had an audience." She scared herself a little, with how this attention was making her feel...and act.
"Yeah well, they're keeping an eye out for me tonight." His gaze fell to the empty glass in his hand. "I'm actually fresh off a divorce. Two days ago, to be exact. Got married young, made some bad choices, did some things I only half-regret …" His voice became distant, and his tender eyes flickered with sadness. "Which is when you know it's wrong."
"Oh—I'm sorry." She placed a hand on his knee, surprising herself a little, and removed it almost as quickly as she'd put it there. She empathized with heartache. "Even if it's wrong, it's hard. Especially if it's wrong."
Abel leaned in a little closer, only enough to make their conversation seem more private. "I knew when I saw you, you were among the rest of us lonely wanderers with broken hearts."
"Oh n-no," she stuttered. "Not in the same way."
"But in some way?" He asked with a smile. Fujin smiled back, embarrassed.
"My friends over there," he jerked his head in their direction. "Honestly, they're just trying to help find me someone to keep me warm for the night, and get me out of this funk I've been in."
She blushed again. Do people say these serious things to each other, out in the open, in the full light of a bar with the world happening around them? … Does Seifer say these things? She suddenly felt too young to be talking like this...
"They actually wanted me to talk to you—a formidable challenge for a friend they remember having much more game than he really does." He chuckled quietly and rubbed the back of his neck, glancing at her, no doubt, to gauge for a reaction. "But don't worry. I don't have any grand designs. Just tryin' to make it look good."
"You have much more game than you're giving yourself credit for," Fujin said in a quiet voice, as she picked up her new club soda and absentmindedly swirled the straw in the clear liquid. "And you're very handsome, and very charming. You seem kind."
"Ah, the kiss of death." He laughed. "Kind. I'll have to go back to my friends and confess that the silver siren couldn't be persuaded." Their eyes locked, both smiling.
"Your eyes," Abel changed the subject absent-mindedly. "One red, one blue. They're remarkable." He moved his hand to brush her hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear, but it fell away. Fujin's cheeks burned with a deep blush.
"Th-thanks. I think." She stuttered. "I hate them, actually." In fact, she kept one covered almost all the time. Seifer had insisted on it when they were kids ... she was pretty sure it was because they creeped him out, but he'd said it was to make her look more tough. She never knew why she stuck with it. Probably because Seifer suggested it, and whatever Seifer said was law, even back then.
"That's crazy." He put his hand dramatically against his chest, like he'd been shot. "My stars, never say that again in your life. They're fucking beautiful." She laughed at how grandiose he sounded, not nearly as nervous as she'd been when this all started, and he placed a hand on her thigh.
"Sorry, I think the liquor is pulling the mariner out of me. Let's talk about something else." Abel squeezed her leg and left his hand where it was. "You said you were just finishing exams ... exactly how old does that make you?" They both stared at each again for a few seconds, before bursting into a sudden fit of laughter. "I probably should have asked sooner than this, right?"
"Yes," she nodded, "you probably should have."
"I just didn't get around to it. This was going so well … " His laughter died down and he looked at his empty glass, wistfully. "I'm not used to that so much anymore."
"Me either." Fujin looked away from him to the bar, feeling embarrassed and giddy all at once.
"Aye, you must be young then." Abel shook his head. "Because for girls like you, that only happens when the men you're into are at that age...you know, where they're too stupid to know what's good for them."
"Well, I think I'm definitely younger than you. Not so young it's a problem."
"Wow, okay." He chuckled. "Well, that's better than the worst case—."
Abel stopped talking abruptly. Fujin felt his hand slip away from her thigh, and realized that his gaze was fixed on something behind them. She saw a shadow looming over them, stretched across the bar, tall, solid, and straight.
"Can I help you?" Abel questioned, confused. His brow furrowed and his eyes darted to Fujin and then back to the stranger behind them. Silence.
"Something wrong, mate?" Abel spoke again, placing his hand back on Fujin's leg protectively.
Seifer's voice, in a low primal growl, cut through the palpable silence to speak for her.
"I don't know Fuu, do you think he can help me?" She looked over her shoulder at him, his eyes radiating fury and glaring down at her new friend.
"Ah," Abel's eyes darted to hers as the conversation came full-circle and he realized what her earlier wistful state had been all about. He lifted his hand from her thigh, squeezed it into a first, and tapped it down on her once awkwardly before laying some more bills on the bar. "Something tells me I can't."
"You're fucking right you can't." Seifer shot back, matter-of-factly. He didn't move.
Abel stood, and stared at each other for a few uncomfortable seconds, Abel sizing Seifer up, and Seifer wordlessly daring him to start something—Able was almost as tall as Seifer but definitely not as built. It was then that she felt Abel touch her shoulder, readying to say goodbye. She didn't fault him for that—anyone would have known they were outmatched when standing next to Seifer. He'd been built in the image of gods.
"You have a good night, Fujin. Thanks for the chat." He smiled down at her. "Maybe I'll see you here again."
How like Seifer, to completely unprovoked, selfishly ruin what was otherwise a fun night for her. Her eyes welled up a little, a sign the alcohol was kicking in. Why would he act like this?
Seifer took one step backwards, allowing Abel just enough space to step away, his chest puffed out. Luckily, he'd left his gunblade at the hotel.
"Thanks, mate." Abel nodded in Seifer's general direction, and gave Fujin one last smile before walking past him. "Quite a girl you have here. Don't leave her alone at a bar again, eh?"
Instinctively, Fujin shot her hand out to grab Seifer's wrist. She knew he'd be readying to spring into action, and Abel didn't deserve what would come of that. She'd acted just in time, as Abel walked away unaware at how close he came to a final demise. She felt Seifer pulling slightly in her grip, the muscles in his forearm tensing.
"Seifer," she groaned. He was still watching Abel. "Don't."
He ground his teeth together and his jaw clenched. Fujin's fingers pressed harder.
"Seifer." She said again, quietly, trying to keep the scene from being too obvious. Abel and his whole table of friends, with quite a few drinks in them, might be able to take Seifer ... she didn't want to see that either. He finally looked down, their eyes locking—his losing a little of their rage. Even still, she kept her tight grip on his wrist. "Hyne, just sit down."
Chagrined, he shook free of her grasp lightly, and placed one of his hands on her shoulder—a quiet but telling gesture to keep his balance—as he lowered himself to the stool. He was mildly drunk, and the only problem with a mildly drunk Seifer is that it almost did nothing to him except make him twice as cruel, if he wanted to be.
Once seated, he turned to her expectantly. Fujin remained silent, not quite sure what he wanted her to say. How long had he been there? She began to panic, as if she'd been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to ... of course, that wasn't true in the slightest. She could do whatever she wanted. It's not as if she'd been claimed by anyone. Definitely not by him.
She held her hands out, palms facing upward, and shrugged. He continued to glare—his face was otherwise expressionless.
"Okay Fujin, well you're welcome." Her mouth fell open in shock.
"'You're welcome?'" Fujin was incredulous. "What exactly am I supposed to be thanking you for? I was having a nice time."
"Oh, is that what was going on?" He scoffed. "Because it looked to me like that guy was trying to have a good time." She looked away from him, taken aback by how cold he was being. "Honestly Fujin, a roving divorcee? What the fuck are you doing?" The question was punctuated with a laugh.
She shook her head and picked up her glass up, needing something to keep her fidgety hands preoccupied.
"Were you ... listening the whole time?" Embarrassment crept up on her. Fujin wasn't sure she wanted him to see her acting that way.
"Just about." Seifer crossed his arms and leaned back—perching one of his long legs on the lower rung of the stool and resting the other on the floor. Even at eye-level he still seemed to tower over her. He always was too big to be contained in just about every sense. She barely had enough space for him in her mind anymore. He was everywhere.
"I have to admit, he had some good lines. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was working." He sounded accusatory as he tapped his foot on the floor. She could feel his eyes on her still, and she couldn't bare to look up and see that disapproving glare. "Is this what you get up to at bars when I'm not around? Seducing old fisherman?" It was cruel, the way he said it—meant to be a dig. Meant to be an insult.
"I'm not sure how that's any of your business," her voice wavered with vulnerability. "You and Raijin leave me behind almost every night here … why do I owe you an explanation?" Her eyes began to well up again and she had a lump in her throat. She was trying desperately not to make more of scene than they already had.
"Of course it's my business." He scoffed again, and said quietly ... more hesitantly, sounding surprised she'd suggest otherwise. "Everything you do is my business."
The tone in his voice confused her, and got the best of her. She looked up, her gaze meeting his still expectant green eyes, and regretted it instantly—even if he was mad at her, and she was furious with him, those eyes still made her weak.
"Shit." He muttered to himself before pressing his lips together and breaking eye-contact with her to look down at his own hands. His voice and his features softened—her reddening eyes giving away the secret she'd been struggling to keep—that he'd hurt her feelings.
"Were you going to tell me?" He asked after a quiet pause, not looking up.
"Tell you what, Seifer? I just met Abel here—" He cut her off.
"Nope, not about the guy Fujin. And by-the-fucking-way let's not bring him up anymore." His voice was hard again, and he shook with anger at the mere mention of Abel. "No, I'm talking about SeeD."
Panic set in. Fujin forgot that in the haze of flirtation, she'd mentioned that she passed her exams. He'd heard every word. He'd been there from the start.
"Seifer, I—"
"You told a stranger." Seifer leaned forward and looked her square in the eyes with a mix of fury and hurt, his voice still quiet. "You told a stranger," he repeated himself, trying to wrap his mind around it. "Before you told me?"
Under a thin veil of inebriation, she struggled to find words that could make this situation any better, but came up short.
"What must you think of me, Fujin, to think that I wouldn't be happy for you?" He waved for the bartender. "And for some reason that guy gets to know? For some reason that guy gets to see this side of you …" He stopped himself, and her brow furrowed.
"I was going to tell you, Seifer," she acquiesced. "There's more to it than just passing. I have...other things going on."
"Clearly." He sighed, waving agitatedly at the bartender again. Fujin grabbed his hand, and brought it to rest on the bar before it could be seen, and was surprised when his eyes had snapped to fix on the touch—at their hands locked together on the bar. As he ran his thumb over one of her knuckles, Fujin's breath caught in her throat.
"Hey," she tried to refocus—she was having a hard time following her thoughts with him touching her in that small way, and a hard time gauging if her own voice sounded loud in chatter of the booming pub. "Maybe we should go? Let's get out of here—we can talk more on the walk home."
"How can I keep you safe if I'm not there?" He snapped, a little loudly, and unwittingly squeezed her hand. A low murmur came from the general direction of where Abel had disappeared to. He ran his other hand over his face, exasperated. She could tell he was aware he was overreacting—she could sense the beginnings of shame and regret.
"Safe? Seifer, what are you talking about? I don't need to be protected. You taught me everything I need to know …" She whispered, hoping it would urge him to be quiet in kind.
"Never mind," he pulled his hand away from her. "Let's get the fuck out of here. On the way home maybe we'll swing by the port. See if we can't find you any more charming sailors who can tell you that your eyes are 'fucking beautiful' and whatever other shit they want to get you into bed." In haste, Seifer laid money on the counter for drinks that he hadn't even bought, and marched out into the street.
Fujin sat in shock momentarily at his harsh words before standing and collecting herself. She smoothed out her black tank top, and sighed heavily. She glanced towards Abel, and found that his table of friends had long since forgotten she existed. Abel was still staring at her, though—his eyes concerned. He motioned for her to come over, but she smiled and raised her hands in weak protest. Shaking his head, he smiled back, and turned his attention back to his friends and his drink.
Outside, she found Seifer pacing—a nervous habit of his, which along with his nervous talkative rambling was the only nervous habit he really had. He seemed even more agitated now, out of the light of the bar and in the street where he was free to act however he wanted. Being that he was drunk, she didn't even want to begin to guess what was coming next.
"Took you long enough," he snapped at her, stopping his pacing as he saw her approach. "Saying goodbye to your friend?"
"No. And what the hell just happened in there? Where exactly do you get off, talking to me that way?" She snapped back at him.
"What, you want me to pat you on the back?" Seifer shoved his hands in the pockets of his white trench, and turned his back to her, beginning to walk away. "'Great job for lying to me Fujin—aces." He yelled sarcastically, spinning around to walk backward for a few more steps before stopping again. "Also, way to be a slut. Super proud of you."
A young couple who'd been sharing a cigarette just outside the door of the bar murmured in disapproval to each other at the display before rushing back inside. Seifer kept staring at her, stepping one more pace backward, his face turning red with anger. He began to yell now, loud, ferocious, and unhinged.
"I'm slipping in training—Leonhart's beating me these days! I failed my SeeD exam again, and I'm having these insane fucking nightmares." Seifer ran one hand through his hair, his voice quieted a few decibels, and he began to laugh. "And now, you." He threw his hand out towards her, flippantly. "You."
She stood, dumbfounded, as he turned his back to her and sighed.
"What you're doing to me ... this is the worst I have ever felt." He kept his back towards her, and shoved his hands in his pockets as he lowered his head to look at the ground.
Fujin walked forward silently, each step measured. She stopped when she lined up with him at his shoulder, straightening her back. No matter how much she cared for him, she couldn't let this stand.
"Seifer, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. Dr. Kadowaki thought it would be best to stay quiet for a bit." She saw him turn to her out of the corner of her eye, wondering what she was talking about. "I'm having some issues with GF junctioning—something they haven't seen before."
"What? Are you oka—" She cut him off.
"Everything's fine." She took a deep breath, a moment to regain some courage, and stepped out to face him. His reluctance to look her in the eye signaled that he knew he'd gone too far.
"And I'm sorry you're having a hard summer. I really am. I'm sorry that I'm making you feel the 'worst you've ever felt.'" She crossed her arms over her chest, growing cold in the gentle sea breeze.
"BUT YOU," Fujin caught herself slipping into her monosyllabic defense mechanism. Seifer had taught to her that too. He'd taught her virtually everything she knew about herself, the good and the bad. She wasn't sure where she ended and he began. Was she even her, or was she all him? She corrected, careful not to slip into the motions of old habits—she wanted to convey this eloquently, in her own voice.
"You have no right to call me a slut. I've never even kissed anyone. Did you know that? I've been so devoted to you … " Her voice trailed off and she thought twice about a full confession. "To you, and to Raijin, and to our friendship. I've never even thought about my own happiness. But you … " Fujin looked away from him, shaking her head at his still fresh and stinging accusations. "You only think about yourself. You spent this summer doing Hyne knows what with Hyne knows who. You never even asked me about my field test—you just assumed I'd failed. You haven't even noticed that something was wrong with me."
"That's not true." Seifer whispered.
"Please. Isn't it?" Fujin laughed, more at his sheer audacity to speak again than the content of the conversation. "Ever since you and I met, we've thought about you—collectively. All I do is think about you." She was suddenly very aware of how this was making her sound, but she also didn't care much. The alcohol was a great substitute for actual courage.
"Your complete lack of acknowledgement that I'm a person, with feelings, has made me feel the 'worst I've ever felt' for an entire year ... something's changed, and I hate it." Tears fell onto her cheeks—she felt betrayed by her own body for allowing it to happen. "So forgive me, if I have a hard time stroking your ego after you have just leveled the most heartbreaking insult you possibly could at me." She wiped her face, and absentmindedly wiped the salty tears on her black leggings.
"Forgive me, for enjoying a few minutes of someone showing a little interest in me. And thanks for denigrating it, and making it feel empty. Up until this happened, it was the best I'd felt in a while."
Fujin marched down the alley and left him in the dark, not waiting for a response. With each step, she muffled the sobs that were escaping her. She didn't want him to know she could be so weak. Even when she didn't want it to be about him, it still was. It always was.
She came to the center of town and couldn't bring herself to walk a step farther—her knees felt like they would buckle. Circling for a moment, she decided to sit on the far, more shadowed side of the water fountain in the middle of the square. She placed her head in her hands, curling up into a small ball. Her body wretched with grief and shivered in the cold wind. She sat for a few minutes, crying alone in the empty evening street.
She wondered if he knew now, truly, how she felt about him. She wondered if it even mattered anyway. She thought about Abel, about that spark she'd felt when he touched her arm, his eyes as she walked away tonight, and what he'd said about men her age. Maybe they only knew what they had when they'd lost it ...
A coat, bright white and warm from body heat, slid over her shoulders and pulled her back into the present. Fujin was surprised he'd followed her. She figured he'd gone back to the bar, ready to drink more and never talk about this night again. That's exactly something he'd do, of all the incredibly selfish, pig-headed, stubborn …
The thoughts in her mind ceased when he slid down beside her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her head against his chest in a tight hug. She jumped a little, gasped, and then cried more. Damn him.
"Hyne, you're pretty well hidden. I think I walked by you twice," Seifer sighed. His voice was hushed now, as one hand ran through her hair and expertly tucked the locks behind her ear. He'd never done that before. "I'm sorry. I'm a little drunk and I know it doesn't excuse it … but I didn't at all mean what I said. I should never have called you that." He squeezed her tighter. "And of course I want you to be happy. Of course I do. You're my best friend." Her heart ached.
"And yes … the reasons I'm mad about not knowing you made SeeD are a little selfish. I know you can handle yourself, but the thought of you being in danger without me around…fuck. I'm afraid you'll get hurt, okay? I didn't convey that very well." His large hand shifted to cradle her face against him, and he rested his cheek on the top of her head, and Fujin was too shocked to even being to register what was going on.
"And then," he sighed, "that makes me nervous too. Because I'm worried, maybe, that I wouldn't be able to do the job that needs to be done anyway if we were out there together. Maybe I would hesitate and put a mission at risk, if you were in danger … maybe subconsciously, that's my problem ... " Seifer's voice trailed off, and he rubbed her back.
"You're right about so many things, Fuu." He pulled away, and tilted her chin up, urging her to look him in the eye. She couldn't—her vision was obscured with fresh tears, and she was far too nervous. "And you're right, I don't want to be around when that guy," rage briefly snuck into his voice again, "any guy, pays attention to you, and is telling you how beautiful you and your eyes are." She was embarrassed he'd heard so much. "But you're so wrong in thinking I don't care about you. It couldn't be farther from the truth."
Fujin's heart skipped a beat as she blinked to clear her eyes and meet his gaze—tender green. He looked worried and a little scared at himself, and she was utterly confused. Was he about to…? She started to speak, when his thumb moved to stop her lips.
"Don't say anything. I know. I'm an unforgivable ass sometimes." Seifer dipped down to place his forehead against hers, his hand once again cradling her cheek. "And I'm an unforgivable coward for waiting this long to do this."
And with that, he leaned down to kiss her. Her whole body tingled—electric, a full shock. It was soft and gentle, yet hard and full of passion at the same time. Her chest filled with warmth and her heart ... it felt like it would burst.
Breathless, he broke away too soon for her liking, kissing her quickly, lightly and softly a few times more. He ran his finger along her jaw, down to her collar bone. She was frozen in his arms.
"You're my best friend." Seifer emphasized again, as he tried to read her features for a reaction to what he'd just done—a single act that could change everything. "But you're also that girl, in a bar, that other guys want. And Hyne, I'm no different than them. I want to be the one telling you that your eyes are remarkable. I want to be the one … keeping you warm."
So, Seifer Almasy did say things like this. And he was saying them to her.
