She reached him in less time than she thought possible and when she stopped before him she could feel his cool gaze seeping through to her very core. She shuddered and hugged herself more tightly as she struggled to meet his gaze. She hated how he looked at her; like he could see right through her to her very soul. Even after all these years she was unsure of how to fight off that one particular look.

The silence between them was deafening and she focused on the way the moonlight illuminated his silvery colored hair. It almost seemed to glow and she felt her cheeks burning even more as she imagined herself running her fingers through it. She imagined that it must be soft and it donned on her that she had never – not even once – allowed herself to touch his hair. She had been close to him so many times before and yet she had never actually allowed herself to touch him.

Rin cleared her throat and glanced up at him from beneath her eyelashes. He still gazed at her, though she could feel the ice in his hard gaze melting.

"You should be asleep," His quiet voice sounded so loud in the shattered silence and she shrugged her shoulders.

"I can't," She replied simply, lifting a hand to twist a strand of her own hair around her forefinger idly. She looked away from him again and stared out at the plains that stretched out before them. They appeared t go on forever and not a single tree nor shrub could be seen in the distance. She wondered where they were, but the thought was unimportant and fleeting as he brought her back to the present.

"Go to bed," It was a command and she bowed her head in obedience. There was no point in arguing and Rin made to turn, but something stopped her. She was physically unable to obey him and so she turned back to him, studying his face carefully as he looked away from her.

Her eyes traced the line of his jaw and she pressed her lips into a thin line. Minutes passed as she watched him with hundreds of things to say but none of them were able to make it from her head to her lips without getting lost along the way. Her eyes were squinted and she hadn't realized that she had been leaning towards him until he made a move towards her. She jumped back and blinked several times as if just seeing him for the first time.

He arched an eyebrow and she quickly gained her lost composure. She squared her small shoulders and set her jaw as she brought herself up to her full height.

"I don't want to," She said defiantly, ready for him to challenge her. But he said nothing, instead he nodded his head once and looked away once more. Obviously his thoughts were elsewhere and she was little more than a distraction. She sidestepped slightly so she was angled with him rather than standing directly beside him and she took note of how distant his gaze seemed. Her lord was not with her that night and she was actually jealous.

She was jealous of his thoughts; of whatever was preoccupying him because whatever it was had nothing to do with her. She wanted his undivided attention and she wanted all of it. Rin felt an unusual sort of anger bubble up inside her and she tried to swallow it back. Too long he had ignored her and treated her as a child. She was no longer a child. She was a grown woman and a woman that longed to be held in the arms of the man she loved.

Her arms fell limply to her sides as angry tears burned in her eyes and she didn't bother to wipe them away. Let him see me cry. Maybe that will help get my point across. But he never even gave her a second glance. He was still far away in his thoughts.

She felt panic set in and was hit with the regret of not listening to him. He had obviously told her to go to bed for a reason. He did not want to be bothered by her. He very rarely wanted to be bothered by her anymore. If it was this easy to lose him to his own thoughts she was afraid of how easy it would be to lose him to something far greater and of far more importance.

Rin swallowed hard and glanced around. She could turn and leave him be only to repeat the same vicious cycle another night, or she could take another bold leap and risk everything she had.

She inhaled sharply and squeezed her eyes shut before she threw herself at him, her arms locking around him in a vice grip. His body stiffened in an automatic response to her daring move and she was certain he would push her away with words of disgust. But as her eyes remained closed and her arms remained around him, no such words came.

She could feel him hesitating, his one arm raised but not lowered to her. His muscles were tight and she could feel his every movement; every breath and every heartbeat. He was incredibly warm despite his cold demeanor and she felt relief wash over her in an instant. Her own body relaxed against him and she buried her face against him, inhaling his sweet scent. She would never get enough of him; never.

Time passed slowly though she was certain it had stopped entirely. What seemed like hours later, his arm lowered to wrap around her and it was both familiar and comforting. But this was not enough to satisfy her this time. She would not settle for their normal routine, not this time. This time she was going to push him until she could push no further.

"Lord Sesshomaru," His name was a muffled whisper and the intentional silence that followed was a sign that he had acknowledged her at last. "I am tired of you always telling me what to do," She hesitated a moment before lifting her head and looking up at him. The brief look of surprise that crossed his face almost made her smile and she continued quickly before he could interject.

"I am thirty years old which means I am no longer a child. I choose to follow you because it is what makes me happy. This is what I want to do. I am able to make my own decisions and I…" She trailed off, finding it harder and harder to get to the point at hand. "I want you to treat me like a woman," she paused, "No. I need you to treat me like a woman. I'm not as fragile as you think. I won't break, I won't shatter."

She tried not to shrink under his gaze as he searched her face – studied her. She felt so small and yet she held her ground. She would not back down from this, at least not this time.

He continued to watch her for several more moments and she was prepared to speak again when he raised his other hand and she watched it carefully. Her eyes widened and her blood chilled when he brushed her hair back behind her ear with more tenderness than she expected him to possess. His hand brushed along her cheek and left an icy hot trail afterwards. It both stung and soothed at the same time and she felt herself shudder.

Her breath hitched as his fingers lingered by her ear and she closed her eyes as he tucked the stubborn hair into place, his hand lowering to rest gently on her shoulder. She exhaled her breath in a quick puff and her eyes flew open, blinking at him in awe.

His head was cocked slightly to the side as if he had just realized something, but yet he said nothing. Instead she allowed herself to lock eyes with him and the warmth that his gaze emitted now was nearly paralyzing. In those few short minutes she had caught a glimpse of something she had come to believe did not exist. It had been the most intimate moment they had shared in all of their time together and it left her wanting much, much more.

"Now go to bed," His voice was low and she nodded without hesitation.

"Tuck me in?" She smiled at him sheepishly and made to step away, but his arm held her in place for a moment longer. He released her almost as soon as he realized what he had done and nodded, creating space between them. Rin shivered against the night air and turned to lead the way back to where she had set up her makeshift camp for the night.