PART 2: Hesitant and Scared

For the next three weeks, Yuri and Kotetsu circled each other on eggshells.

Some four hours after he had left his peace offering on Yuri's desk, Kotetsu stopped by the Justice Bureau on his way from training, and was returned his clean and empty bento with little more than a reserved thank you and goodbye. The next day, they passed each other in the hallway, but Kotetsu failed to notice Yuri's subtle greeting in the middle of some pointless argument with Barnaby. (Upon returning to his office, Yuri promptly took Barnaby's latest request for special training equipment, and refiled it into his Low Priority folder.)

Three days passed in this manner, with countless opportunities wasted on stiffed manners and bad timing, and just as Yuri had resigned himself to ending the stalemate from a safe distance, he found upon checking his email that Kotetsu had preceded him.

To: Yuri Petrov

From: Wild Tiger (Kaburagi T. Kotetsu)

Subject:

To Administrator Petrov,

With reference to your previous disclosure on the subject of exterior design, I am writing to request a brief meeting with you at your earliest convenience to discuss current options and the possibility of a mutually beneficial resolution.

Yours sincerely, Kaburagi T. Kotetsu

Yuri rolled his eyes. Distance be damned, he could just see Kotetsu glaring down the cheat sheet Yuri had given him to ensure a discreet means of communication during business hours, and hammering away at his message one cherry-picked word at a time, face scrunched up and his tongue peeking out. Yuri raked a twitchy hand through his hair.

"Your previous disclosure on the subject of exterior design…" he read the worst part aloud, and flipped his fringe with a bittersweet frown. Kotetsu had certainly hit the nail on the head with that one.

Yuri breathed in, breathed out, and clicked Reply. Unlike Kotetsu, he didn't need a cheat sheet.

To: Wild Tiger (Kaburagi T. Kotetsu)

From: Yuri Petrov

Subject: RE:

To Kaburagi T. Kotetsu,

I regret to inform you that my schedule does not allow for a meeting at this time. Thank you for understanding, and have a pleasant day.

Yours sincerely, Yuri Petrov

The next time they met, Kotetsu gave him a pitiful look for that one, but Yuri ignored it, and so their awkward dance of clumsy openings and polite rejections continued. Until…

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:

To Kaburagi T. Kotetsu,

With regard to your earlier request, I shall be available today after hours to discuss the matter. Meet me in the lobby of Justice Tower at 18:05.

Yours sincerely, Yuri Petrov


Kotetsu mustn't get the wrong impression, though. Yuri didn't miss him at all.

"A-Ah, Mr. Judge! Mr. Judge, I'm here..!"

"Good evening, Mr. Kaburagi. This way, please."

That cheap fashion, his nervous bumbling in public, the itchy beard…

"Hey, is that the tie I gave you?" Kotetsu turned to him with a grin as soon as they left Justice Tower and headed towards the designated Justice Bureau parking lot, his tone positively giddy. Giddy. "And you smell so fancy, too! You got all dolled up for me, didn'tcha?"

"Be quiet," Yuri quickened his pace, smoldering.


Fried rice had never tasted so good as it did that night, perched on Kotetsu's couch with the news on mellow static and the man himself pressed against Yuri's side like a needy cat. Judging by Kotetsu's high-pitched moaning, he burned his tongue on the first spoonful, but he washed it down with water and kept shoveling food into his mouth like his life depended on it.

Yuri stole a glance at Kotetsu as he blew on his next spoonful. Just how hard had he been training to work up an appetite like that?

"Did you double your regimen today?" he savored his sweet and sour shrimp.

"Tripled it!" Kotetsu chomped down on another spoonful, followed by the rest of his water. "You got me excited!"

Ridiculous, Yuri turned his head to hide a smile. "Who knew formal correspondence could be so stimulating?"

"Nah, typing in that stuff is a pain in the ass," Kotetsu gave him a look. "Can't you just get a private account? Or a personal phone? I wanna be able to talk and flirt with you like normal people do!"

"It's inappropriate to flirt during business hours," Yuri took a sip of his water. "And it would only distract me from my work."

"Wouldn't be able to take your mind off me?" Kotetsu wagged his brow. Yuri returned his gaze and sucked on his next spoonful. Kotetsu's grin widened.

"I missed you," he rubbed an eager hand over Yuri's thigh. "Did you miss me..?"

"Your absence was noted," Yuri replied without missing a beat. He half expected Kotetsu to pout, but the other snorted and burst into laughter that sent Yuri's heart fluttering. Kotetsu's hand lingered in the cozy silence that followed, caressing up and down the length of Yuri's thigh while he finished his plate, his knees pressed together not to give himself away so soon.

"Thank you for the meal," he set down his spoon and passed his plate to the cook.

"Don't thank me just yet! I got you dessert, too," Kotetsu took it with a grin. He retired to the kitchen, and in another minute, he returned with a hand of bananas, two empty plates, and a fork and knife. He handed a plate and the utensils to his date, broke off two bananas, and offered one to Yuri, who peeled his completely and cut it into slices, to be daintily skewered by his fork. Kotetsu peeled his banana halfway and bit down, finishing two more in the time Yuri had prepared and eaten his.

At length, Yuri's plate joined Kotetsu's on the table, one peel against his pile of three. Kotetsu turned to him with triumphant looks.

"Well?" he jutted his chin at Yuri, lips pursed in expectation of a sweet reward. Yuri leaned over and gave him an appreciative peck. Kotetsu's features smoothed out as he nudged back, the contrast so stark it should have been illegal.

"Wanna go upstairs..?" his voice dipped lower too, warm and heavy. Yuri swallowed.

"That sounds dangerous," he managed to say, calmer than he felt. Kotetsu didn't deny it, and because of that, Yuri took his hand and followed him with a smile on his face.


Two hook and eye clasp neckties were torn that night, one in rough playfulness and the other in sweet revenge. Neither were missed. They scratched and tugged off everything else and tumbled into bed, where spooning Yuri quickly turned into fucking him sideways.


"Man…" Kotetsu buried his face in the nape of Yuri's neck as they unwound, still naked and cuddled up like they had been for the past hour. "That hit the spot…"

"Which one," quipped Yuri, his smile growing as Kotetsu rumbled against him in drowsy laughter.

"You felt so good…" he nursed Yuri's skin. "Too bad I couldn't see your face all red..!"

Yuri cringed. Kotetsu did too, when his faux pas finally dawned on him.

"I mean— That's not—"

"That's not what you meant. I know," Yuri cut him off, his tone cold.

"Yuri…" Kotetsu wrapped around him in a hug, but Yuri reached for the nearest pillow and made a show of stuffing it under his head to sleep. Kotetsu paused in thought. "Wait a minute, don't I get a pillow? I need a pillow too, you know!"

"Good night, Kotetsu," came the dismissive reply.

"Night…" Kotetsu dropped his head in defeat, too ashamed to argue any further.

They lay in strained silence for a while, and just when Yuri thought Kotetsu had fallen asleep, the other had gathered the courage to speak again.

"Hey…" he gave Yuri's side a gentle rub. "Can I ask you something?"

Yuri hesitated.

"I'm sure I'll regret saying this, but go ahead," he said at last, his voice as hollow as his chest.

"How did you get it? That scar."

Yuri's breath caught in his throat. He had anticipated it, long before fate forced his and Kotetsu's hands; he had even practiced his confession in his lonely hours, for it was long, unbearably long and winding, but that carefully fitted mosaic cracked and fell apart in this new, alien frame.

How did you get it? Kotetsu's words echoed in his mind. I don't understand. Don't you mean,

What have you done?

Who is to blame?

What have you done, you horrible demon?!

"Someone gave it to me," whispered Yuri, his heart jolting as Kotetsu hissed and stirred behind him like an agitated serpent ready to strike. The hand on Yuri's side scrambled to his arm and gripped it. From the corner of his eye, he saw Kotetsu towering above him, pale and fierce.

"Who?!" he demanded, his voice choked. "When?! How?! And why?!"

My father,

When I was younger,

With his own hand,

Because…

"You ask too many questions," Yuri forced out the words. Kotetsu stared at him thunderstruck. Yuri looked away. "Kotetsu, you're hurting me."

Kotetsu remembered his hand and flinched.

"Sorry…" he softened his grip and released Yuri's arm, his anger evaporating into confusion and embarrassment. He lowered himself onto the sheets and drew Yuri into his embrace again, so close, his heart hammered between Yuri's shoulder blades.

"It was a long time ago," Yuri found himself saying, as if that could soften the blow. "I was fourteen."

"Seriously?!" Kotetsu blurted in his ear. He clenched his jaws for fear he was going to scream, but the urge drained from him in an instant.

"Kaede's about that age," he whispered in horror, and his arms wound around Yuri even tighter. Protective, Yuri supposed. He was being protective, when there was nothing he could do anymore.

"Hey…" Kotetsu uncurled one arm to rub a hand over over the reddish mark he had left on Yuri's skin. "I used to think it was the makeup, but this is why you didn't want me to touch your face, isn't it? Because someone else did, and it hurt."

"You ask too many questions," Yuri repeated himself, his voice small.

"I'm sorry."

"You say that, but what are you sorry for?" Yuri turned to him, eyes narrowed. "Is it your prying, or is it me? Because if you pity me—"

"That's not it," Kotetsu shook his head. "I'm.. I'm just sorry that of all the things I could ask you, of all the things I wanna ask you, this is all I can think about. And even when you answer me, I just can't stop. I'm sorry."

Unsure what to tell him, Yuri dropped his head back onto the pillow. Kotetsu gave his arm a tender squeeze.

"Hey…"

"You apologize for prying and you still won't stop?" Yuri whipped his head around to shoot him a glare.

"I would never hurt you," said Kotetsu, plain and somber. "You know that, right?"

Yuri stared at him wide-eyed. His hand sought Kotetsu's and closed over it.

"I know."


That's right. Kotetsu would never hurt him.

He wouldn't hurt Yuri Petrov, anyway, Yuri told himself as his eyes flitted to the ceiling, to watch the vibrant stutter of city lights through the blinds. He wouldn't hurt the ones he cares for. And though Kotetsu did not know it (had never asked, had probably never thought to ask), Yuri Petrov wouldn't hurt him either; not anymore. Once was enough. Just once was enough, for everyone he had ever cared for. As for Wild Tiger, well, it was a good thing he had proven extremely durable. With a bit of luck, he might last a lifetime, and once they had both retired, they might…

He was startled out of his reverie by a single chime of the pendulum wall clock downstairs, for the third time in a row. Yuri heaved a sigh. After an torturously long day of multiple court hearings, a mountain of tedious administrative paperwork, a dinner date, and two orgasms, the last thing he had expected to do at one thirty in the morning was soliloquize about Kaburagi Kotetsu while the man himself was snoring in his ear, one leg propped over Yuri's thigh and his arm draped over him like he hadn't a care in the world. Honestly…

Yuri stole a glance at him, took a deep breath, and held it as he pulled his leg free and shifted onto his back. Kotetsu tensed - Yuri's heart skipped a beat -, but his breathing softened when his armrest moved no further, and his right hand drifted to Yuri's chest, to settle above his heart.

Pure, life-affirming heat radiated from his palm. Solar hands, Kotetsu once called them, the delight of bakers everywhere. Not that Kotetsu had ever mixed flour or kneaded bread dough; his hands had been self-trained in combat, unwittingly majored in demolition, and learned how to soothe and give pleasure in his leisure time. (Having been on the receiving end both ways, Yuri preferred his slick fingers to his sweeping fists.)

His eyes fell to his own hands, one folded over his stomach and the other fidgeting on the sheets. They were cold and thoroughly tamed, the slightest movements deliberate and calculated; they glided over keyboards and dotted lines in an elaborate dance, clasped the gavel with pride and conviction, orchestrated minor miracles at the Justice Bureau, and sometimes trembled when Kotetsu grabbed and squeezed them.

His left hand slipped to Kotetsu's right and gathered his digits. He rubbed them, bent them, coaxed them apart, but they remained lax.

This is why you didn't want me to touch your face, isn't it?

His right hand wiggled free from the cramped space between them, and fumbled its way to Kotetsu's wrist, to run his fingers over hard joints. Like the rest of him, they lay dormant. Unimposing. Unthreatening.

Because someone else did, and it hurt.

Yuri steeled himself, lifted Kotetsu's hand from his chest, and pressed it over his face.

Darkness fell, hot and heavy, then bright greens and blues seeped into Yuri's vision from the darkest recesses of his mind, like a strip of old film being consumed by fire.

Whimpers clogged his ears. His mother's.

And his throat.

Those were his.

Whimpers, voices, his, hers, His.

"Just what do you think you're doing…"

YOU FUCKING BRAT!

Yuri's heart jolted and stopped as vacuum filled his chest and swallowed his heartbeat. His last gulp of air sloshed in the void like water flooding a sealed chamber, rising higher and higher with no means of escape as that burning palm smothered his nose and the corner of his mouth. Visceral terror surged through the dulled nerves of his right cheek and tugged them raw. Unbearable heat poured through the crevices and he felt himself peeling, oozing, melting, he was melting…

Yuri's hands clenched over His hand like claws, tearing at the joints and wrenching the wrist until he heard a pained grunt: Kotetsu wincing awake from a nightmare he would have never wished to be part of.

Realization struck Yuri in a burst a cold sweat. Gasping for air after what seemed like an eternity, he had just enough presence of mind to drag Kotetsu's hand off his face and back onto his heaving chest, where it had been innocently resting before his shameful, ridiculous experiment. He gave it a shaky pat, like smoothing out the folds of a creased shirt, and felt something damp and viscous coat his fingers. Blood. In his struggle, his nails had drawn blood.

"Ugh… Yuri..?" Kotetsu raised his head with a sleepy squint. His hand budged and he drew it back with a stuttering hiss, to stare in shock at a cluster of weeping crescents across his skin. "W-What the…"

Yuri opened his mouth, but air rushed in and stale air flushed out without a sound. He could only watch, eyes glassy, as Kotetsu looked at him, paused in recognition, and turned his hand over to stare at the sickly beige smear on his palm.

"What did I do?" he whispered in growing horror. "Did I—?"

"You didn't do anything," Yuri forced himself to speak, his heart still thrashing. "I did it. All of it."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know what came over me… I'm sorry."

Kotetsu didn't reply. His eyes fell to his hand as he turned it over again, to find thin streaks of blood had run down the back of his hand to his wrist and beyond. The way his brow furrowed and his mouth twisted made Yuri's chest clench like a fist.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his fingers tucked inward to hide his reddened nails. Kotetsu sighed.

"Come on, Yuri," he said at last and pushed himself up, clambering past Yuri's legs and off the bed. "Come on, get up."

"Why?" blurted Yuri, still on his back and struggling to breathe.

"We're going to the bathroom," Kotetsu reached out his injured hand for Yuri out of habit. "You need to wash your face, and I gotta patch this up."

Yuri lowered his eyes. An eerily familiar sensation came over him as he let Kotetsu pull him to his feet and they left for the bathroom hand in hand, naked and shivering in the dark. They descended the stairs, braving the neon glare of the city; they crossed a floor too hard and cold for tired feet, and came to an awkward halt in front of the bathroom door, hesitant to tear down yet another wall in a maze littered with debris.

They turned to each other for guidance, but silence had settled between them, thick and impenetrable. Yuri's eyes fell to their hands still clasped together. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, resigned to atone for breaking the promise he had made to himself so soon, but before he could say it, Kotetsu gave his hand a squeeze and released him. He opened the door with a nod, calm and content to wait where he was, and for that, Yuri grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside, to wash and bandage his hand with trembling fingers.


Neither said a word while Yuri tended to Kotetsu's scratches, or when he finally lifted his eyes to the mirror and winced at his reflection. A large daub of paint had been wiped away in the aftermath; Yuri had suspected as much when he first turned Kotetsu's hand over in the light, and spent some minutes rubbing grime off his palm, but he did not expect the streaks running down his face like sodden strips of wallpaper clinging to a decaying wall. Had he been crying? Or was it just sweat? Yuri didn't know, nor did he want to.

He turned the water on again and buried his face in the pool brimming between his palms, scouring his skin until all slickness faded, and his hands brushed over coarse, shriveled tissue. He toweled off and risked another glance at the mirror. Reddish spots bloomed on his left cheek, clogged pores that had been screaming for air while he was growing equally short of it. Yuri thought he had gotten used to the sight in the past few months, and in a way, he had, but the idea of Kotetsu watching him brought those blemishes into painful relief.

He sank his fingers into his fringe and combed it over his right cheek, wringing his locks until Kotetsu touched his shoulder and sent his erratic heartbeat thrumming. Yuri turned his head a notch. Kotetsu tried for a smile.

"Are you feeling better?" he gave Yuri's shoulder a friendly tap.

"I'm.. I've calmed down, yes," Yuri dropped his hands and clasped them in front of his navel. "Kotetsu… I want to apologize. I don't know what possessed me, but I promise it won't happen again. No.. I won't do it again."

"Are you sure you don't know?" Kotetsu's smile thinned out. "Or that it's over?"

Yuri tensed.

"What are you trying to say?" he forced himself to look Kotetsu in the eye.

"I'm just wondering," Kotetsu's brow creased. "Are you saying you won't do it again because it ended up hurting me, or because it ended up hurting you?"

Yuri stared at him dumbstruck. Kotetsu sighed.

"Sometimes, facing your fears is a good thing," his eyes fell to the sink. "When it's something you have to overcome so you can move on with your life, like a fear of heights in a place like Sternbild, or a bad experience with something you're passionate about, you gotta be brave and meet it head on. But what was done to you should have never happened to anyone, Yuri. Being hurt like that isn't a bad experience, it's a living nightmare."

Yuri forced his features calm, but the sharp rise and fall of his chest betrayed him. Kotetsu rubbed a hand over his back.

"You don't have to try and relive that nightmare," he carried on. "I'm sure it haunts you often enough, and dulling yourself to what you felt back then won't make you stronger, it can only wear you down. Sometimes, the only way to beat a bad memory is to make better ones."

"Make better memories..?" Yuri echoed him, confused. Kotetsu broke into a grin.

"I'll show you," he leaned closer, lips pursed, and just as Yuri lowered his head to kiss him, Kotetsu cupped his scarred jaw and pressed his mouth to Yuri's left cheek, tender and warm. Kotetsu nuzzled and nursed his skin, savoring the moment he had been dreaming about for months, and when it passed, he eased away with a soft caress of Yuri's right cheek.

"Like that." He drew back and added, "You think we could give this a try?"

Yuri couldn't say. Once his initial shock wore off, blood rushed to his head in waves, coloring him crimson from his neck to the tips of his ears. He touched a quivering hand to the spot Kotetsu had kissed, awe and disbelief on his face. Kotetsu snorted.

"Yuri, you're blushing? You're kidding me!" he teased as Yuri turned his head in a futile attempt to hide his flustration. "We had sex last night and this is what makes you blush?"

"S-Sex is a standard procedure," mumbled Yuri. "Touching the face is, more personal…"

"More personal than sex? What do you take me for, Yuri?" blurted Kotetsu, but his indignation quickly petered into baffled laughter. The way he wheezed and slapped a hand over his reddened face loosened Yuri's shoulders by degrees, till he found himself tittering helplessly at a joke neither of them understood.

Kotetsu was still gasping for air when he grabbed Yuri's right shoulder and pulled him into a half hug, their eyes meeting in the mirror.

"You've got.. a funny way of thinking, Yuri…" he breathed, his cheeks aching with mirth, "but.. that's why I love you."

Yuri stared at him tongue-tied as butterflies stirred in his belly by the handful. Kotetsu hugged him closer.

"Let's go back to bed, huh," he nodded to the door, and Yuri followed him without a sound.


After dragging their feet the whole way down, the journey back felt like walking on clouds. Neon lights winked at them gleefully as Kotetsu climbed into bed and Yuri joined him, to lie flat on their backs with their limbs every which way and Yuri's hair mercifully screening his scars.

"Kotetsu…" he whispered, eyes on the ceiling. The other hummed. "Thank you."

"For what?" Kotetsu gathered Yuri's hand in his.

"Earlier, when you told me to get up, I thought you were going to send me home," Yuri's fingers tightened in his hold. Kotetsu pressed back.

"I couldn't do that," he said quietly. "Not when you looked like that…"

"Like what?" Yuri tensed.

"Scared," replied Kotetsu. He rolled his head over with a squint. "You thought I was gonna say something mean?"

"No…" Yuri shook his head, a bittersweet smile tugging at his lips. "Not you." He could feel some of that bitterness fade as he added, "You're uncommonly kind to me."

"Well, boyfriends are supposed to be like that," Kotetsu rubbed small circles over Yuri's hand with his thumb. Yuri gave a tentative hum. Kotetsu tried and failed to smother a yawn.

"You ready to go back to sleep..?" he mumbled through another one.

"I suppose…"

"You suppose, huh.. Are you worried you'll have nightmares?"

Yuri didn't reply. Kotetsu patted his hand.

"It's okay, Yuri. Just remember that I'm right here, and I'll chase your nightmares away for you."

"Can you really do that?" Yuri turned his head to look at him. Kotetsu's expression clouded for a moment (the scars, of course it was the scars), but the smile on his face seemed genuine as he propped himself on his elbows and turned towards the window. He grabbed something from the window sill - Yuri heard a clack -, and after a bit of fiddling, Kotetsu shifted to face Yuri, his eye mask on.

"Wild Tiger, at your service," he grinned. Yuri bit the inside of his lip.

"Stop," he managed to say when the urge to laugh had worn off, though the corners of his lips had curled up and refused to budge. "Or are you going to become a one-minute man in bed, too?"

"Hey, I last way longer than a minute!" Kotetsu looked positively offended. Yuri gave in and tittered. Kotetsu's grin returned.

"You like teasing me, don'tcha."

"So tease me back," Yuri smirked at him. "Or is your big mouth just for show, Wild Tiger."

"Ohhh, you've done it now," Kotetsu lowered his head and pressed his lips below Yuri's chin, hungry and wet. The apple of Yuri's throat bobbed under his tongue.

"How's that for teasing you?" murmured Kotetsu, his hot breath tickling Yuri's skin.

"Deadly," sighed Yuri. "If you keep going, you'll be the end of me…"

"That's no good, then," Kotetsu scoffed in amusement, and kissed the underside of Yuri's chin. "I want you to live. And…" he flopped onto his back and removed his mask, "I want you to get some rest. You've got work tomorrow, right?"

"Right…" replied Yuri, his tone suddenly sober.

"Can't we have a weekend date sometime, Yuri?" grumbled Kotetsu as he tossed his mask back onto the window sill. "I know there's rules, and uh.. terms and conditions and all, but I hate waking up to an empty bed all the time."

"Don't be ridiculous," Yuri laced his fingers over his chest and closed his eyes. "Your bed isn't built for two, so sleeping together is hardly comfortable in the first place, and besides, you tend to reclaim the entire bed as soon as I set one foot out of it. I wouldn't call that empty."

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Kotetsu frowned. A few seconds passed without further comment. Kotetsu pursed his lips. "So… can we have a weekend date, then? How about it? Yuri.. Yuri… Oi, Yuri—"

"Your request has been noted, and will be discussed at another time," Yuri kept his eyes firmly shut.

"Could you specify a date for that?" Kotetsu's tone dripped with mock politeness. Yuri's eyebrow twitched.

"Your request has been postponed indefinitely. Good night, Kotetsu."

"Niiight," Kotetsu crammed a pillow under his head. "You know, for an administrator, you're not being very helpful…" he quipped under his breath, then yelped as Yuri jammed an icy foot against his ankle.


Oh tetsu…

He felt something wrap around his shoulder.

Kotetsu…

Something thin and hard, like claws.

"Wake up…"

A nudge, then another, followed by a sigh.

"Paging Wild Tiger…"

Kotetsu stirred with a grunt and unscrewed one eye, squinting at his blurry surroundings until the fog of sleep lifted and he saw Yuri Petrov towering above him, as crisp and polished in his lavender suit and makeup as a cardboard cutout.

"Of course that got your attention," Yuri gave his shoulder a tap, his tone dry but amused.

"Mmm… Yuri..?" Kotetsu raised his head to check the digital clock on his nightstand. The display clicked to 6:01 am, two hours too early for his usual alarm. "Something wrong..?"

"No, nothing's wrong," Yuri withdrew his hand. "I'm simply complying with your wishes."

Kotetsu stared at him blankly. Yuri rolled his eyes.

"From what you've said to me last night, I understood that you disliked waking up alone after a date, correct? Well, today you didn't wake up alone, so, problem solved. You're welcome," he lowered himself to give Kotetsu a token peck on the forehead. "And now if you'll excuse me, I have some errands to complete," Yuri straightened with a cordial smile, but as he turned to leave, Kotetsu grabbed his wrist.

"Wait, Yuri…"

"What is it now, Kotetsu?" Yuri shot him a look half incredulous, half exasperated. "Normally I would have left by this time, I'm a busy man in case you didn't know, but I stayed just so you wouldn't wake up alone. What more do you want from me?"

"I thought you were joking, but you really don't get it, do you?" Kotetsu stared him down. "I don't just wanna wake up to you a minute before you leave, Yuri. I wanna wake up to my boyfriend lying next to me! I wanna hold you in my arms and kiss you, and fool around in bed, and have breakfast together. You know, like couples do!"

"I've noticed you use that word before, but we are not boyfriends and we're not a couple, Kotetsu. We're lovers who are having an affair," Yuri tugged at his arm in Kotetsu's grasp, his stomach a tangle of nervous knots. "In our situation, we shouldn't even be interacting outside of business hours, and yet we have a date almost every week, and we have dinner and sex when we do. Isn't that enough."

Kotetsu stared at him thunderstruck. He held onto Yuri's wrist for a moment longer, more out of shock than persistence, then withdrew his hand as though it had lost its purpose.

"I'm sorry," he said at last, quiet and subdued. "I guess I misunderstood."

"There's no need to apologize. It's a fair mistake," Yuri turned away, unable to look him in the eye anymore. He left for the stairs with measured steps, forcing himself to stop by the railing just long enough to lift a hand and say, "Have a good day, Kotetsu."

"You too," replied the other in a distant voice that made him feel miles away, and drew the knots in Yuri's stomach even tighter.