Chapter 2-Happiness


Chuck Bartowski was a happy man.

He had a loving sister, a great best friend, an okay job, and the most beautiful girlfriend he could ever imagine. She was the highlight of his life. It had taken a while, but he had finally gotten through the a certain blonde agent, and it had now been two months and ten days since that day.

--

After the night when Longshore was going to take him to an underground bunker (he hated to think that everything was almost taken away from him), Chuck had decided. No longer would he take the "Asset-Handler" bullshit. No longer would he let the emotional rollercoaster rule his life. Chuck had decided earlier that he was going straight to Sarah's apartment after work and telling her exactly what he was thinking.

He was unable to hide his emotions for her anymore, and he was tired of it anyway. Lie after lie to his sister and friends, and especially to himself. If Sarah shared the same feelings, then they should do something about it instead of the constant battle going on inside of them whenever they saw each other.

It didn't take long to get to Sarah's apartment, and soon he was in front of her door, debating whether or not to turn back. She would probably hand him to same crap as she always did, so why try?

No, he had to do this. Slowly Chuck raised his hand and knocked on the wood in front of him. A few seconds later, it opened, to show a tall blonde woman wearing sweatpants and a red Mickey Mouse sweatshirt. She looked surprised to see him, but at the same time she had that golden smile on her face. The one that Chuck rarely got from her, but when he did it was like the heavens opening up and answering every prayer.

"Chuck," she started, seeing his determined face that made him look even more like a nerd. "I didn't know you were coming by."

"We need to talk." Chuck let himself in and sat down on a nearby chair. He tried to keep his face serious and emotionless (to give her a piece of her own medicine), but Sarah's smile had quickly disoriented him.

She sat down across from him, on her bed. Sarah knew that this would soon happen sometime. Maybe it was better to face it now instead of putting it off, like she had before. Chuck was going to insist that there was something beneath the cover and want to talk. Sarah was never good at that type of stuff, talking about her feelings. It was one of the reasons the CIA had recruited her. She could keep things to herself. "Is this about last night?" she asked, then heaved a sigh. "I just…I thought I would never see you again."

He looked like he was about to say something, but then his face became bewildered. "But wait-didn't you say you would save me later?"

"Chuck, you know that that was highly unlikely. I tried to make you feel better."

Chuck didn't know whether to be happy that she would try to comfort him, mad that she had lied, or sad that they had come close to never seeing each other again. However, soon anger rose from his chest and he scoffed. "So you'd let me rot underground waiting everyday, hoping that maybe you'd come? I'd spend the rest of my life hoping."

Sarah looked down, crestfallen. She had not considered that. The thought of someone waiting for her each day and being horribly disappointed made her ashamed for what she did. Even though she helped many people, she also ruined others.

Chuck couldn't bear to see Sarah miserable, especially when he was the one who caused it, and got up from the chair. Kneeling down, he took her hands into his and looked deep into Sarah's eyes. "I want you to tell me the truth, okay?"

She didn't answer.

"Do you have feelings for me? Because I do for you, and they're not going to go away."

"Chuck, you know a relationship is imposs-"

"I'm not talking about a relationship. I asked about how you feel."

Sarah paused, searching his big brown eyes. Naturally, as an agent, she was able to read anyone she came in contact with. All she could see in his was compassion and honesty, along with hope. "Yes," she replied.

Okay, he kind of knew that already. On to step two. "Look, I know that these relationships are hard, if not impossible. Strictly prohibited, maybe. But we can make it work. Please."

"I want to, but…"

The look on his face was sheer desperation. "Sarah, I've wanted this more than I can remember wanting anything before."

Before either of them knew it, both were tangled up in each other, trying to show their emotions through their mindless kisses. She was desperately trying to get closer to him if it was possible at all. They both landed on the bed with a thump, and Chuck broke away. "We can make this work, I promise." He kissed her again. "I'll never let you go."

--

Their superiors had not been happy about it, but there wasn't much they could do, and Chuck had made it clear that he would refuse to cooperate without Sarah.

But there was one thing gnawing at Chuck's mind. It had been there since the start of their relationship, and maybe even before that, but it grew with each day.

Even though those two months had been amazing, and still were, Chuck could never find a time to tell Sarah he loved her. He had tried countless times, but the words just wouldn't come out. It was as if his brain was afraid of getting hurt again, like he had with Jill. He knew that Sarah was different-after all, she had gone against her job, which was her life, for him-but for some reason he still couldn't manage to get passed that choked up feeling and tell her.

It wasn't just telling Sarah, but how he should tell her. He couldn't just outright say it. He felt like she the one for him-and before Sarah, Chuck had never even believed in that-and it had to be special for the one. Now that they had finally started their relationship under the cover relationship, Chuck couldn't really imagine a life without Sarah. Well, he could, but it was a life of darkness and despair. And no, he wasn't being dramatic. This was the life he wanted, with her. The only problem was that he didn't know how to tell Sarah this.

He had tried once at a picnic on the beach, at sunset. Ellie had told him that that was what most girls dreamed of. They were sitting there, eating and enjoying each other's presence, when he got ready to say it. Chuck had been mentally readying himself the entire day, and now he thought that finally his mouth would utter those words. But no, Casey had called and said that they were needed for a stakeout. The mission was a success, but Chuck's assignment was not.

Another disappointment was when they had a dinner planned. Chuck had ordered the works-roses, candles-he had even pre-ordered some of those fortune cookies with the message I love you inside (yes, it was nerdy, but it was so Chuck). Unfortunately, Sarah had gotten the flu the day before, and the dinner had to be canceled.

It was one of those things that Chuck couldn't stop thinking about until he got it done. Ellie was sympathetic, but she thought that Chuck had long ago admitted his true feelings for Sarah, and was disappointed in him when he asked her (although she was ecstatic otherwise).

Finally Chuck saw the perfect opportunity. Since it didn't look like there would be any missions for a few days, he reserved a hotel room with a perfect view of the moon and the beach below it. They were outside talking, when Chuck changed the subject.

"You know," he said softly. "There's been something on my mind for a while."

"What is it?" Sarah asked with genuine interest. Chuck studied her face. Watching the light from the moon enhance her features made him hold his breath. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She was wearing a long light blue dress with a tall slit that made Chuck want to yell out to a large crowd, "This is the woman I love!"

He never knew whether he liked Sarah wearing a fancy dress or simply a T-shirt and sweatpants. When she wore something fancy, it usually meant that they were going out, and that was when Chuck felt like he was at the top of the world, all those men staring jealously at him as they walked through the doors of wherever they were going.

However, whenever Chuck thought of how finally Sarah felt comfortable enough around him to wear pajamas or something of the like made him light up in a smile, and whenever it was in front of Sarah and she would ask why he was so happy, he would just grab her close and kiss her, saying that he was happy because he was with her.

"Well," Chuck continued. "For once I'm having trouble saying something."

Sarah stopped looking at the view and looked at Chuck, amused. "I never knew that that could happen to you. I wasn't even sure you had a filter up there."

Chuck took her hands. "Around seven months ago, I was a nerd working at the Buy More who couldn't get a date. Then a Miss Sarah Walker walked into my life and changed it forever, and I'm not talking about just the Intersect.

Two and a half months ago, you and everyone I ever cared about were about to be taken away from me. You saved me from that fate, and I can never repay you. But I'm making the best of the life that you kept me from having to leave. Now I'm happier than ever.

And I haven't said this in a long time, but I realize that now it means more than it ever has before. Sarah, I love you and I think that I always will."

He looked into her eyes to see her reaction. She could never hide emotion in her eyes. Chuck used to stare at the big blue spheres and know that even though her face was emotionless, her eyes told all. Right now they were staring softly at him, taking in his words. But now that he had finally said it, the words wouldn't stop tumbling out.

"I love you because you're the most beautiful thing I've ever set eyes on, and I love that you went against everything you've ever learned for me. The CIA was your life, and you let someone like me get in and break down you walls. I love how you can look underneath the hopeless job and nerdy face, and see beneath that. I love your smile that I used to rarely see, but now lights up your face whenever I see you. I love you because there's something there that makes me feel like I never want to let you go, and I would go to the ends of the earth to make you happy."

Sarah let the teardrops fall. She had never felt anything so much as she did right now. It was like she had fallen off a high building, but was suddenly grabbed from the air and saved by the hands of the man in front of her. Loving Chuck just felt right.

"Sarah," he said. "I know it's only been two months but it feels like forever. And maybe if you don't feel as strongly as me right now or you're nervous that this new thing scares you, I don't care. And I know that you've had a rough past, but I was hoping that I could help fix your bad memories." Chuck put his hand on her cheek and began stroking it, wiping away her tears. "I'll wait, as long as you're with me. You're the one."

At first Chuck thought that those were tears of joy, but now another thought struck him. "Sarah, please don't cry." He took his hand off of her cheek and stared at the balcony floor, ashamed. "I didn't mean to upset you. I shouldn't have…it's moving too fast. I understand, it's okay."

Then he felt Sarah's hands lift up his chin, making him stare directly into her tearful eyes. "Chuck Bartowski, I love you, and there's nothing you can do or say to change that. That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

His face lit up in a Chuck Bartowski megawatt smile, and in one fluid motion he scooped Sarah up off of her feet. As he carried her into the hotel room, Sarah grabbed the back of his head and kissed him hungrily.

Chuck Bartowski was a very happy man.


I actually got the idea for something like this from an episode of Gossip Girl. How did you like it?