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I am still foreign and without a Beta so forgive my errors please !
This chapter doesn't answer much of the questions but I'm getting to it I swear. This chapter is by no means a lemon, It's meant to be a subtle implication but I've never posted any on this site before so if it's a lot more than subtle or you feel it abuses the M rating please inform me before reporting me to the Mods!
Thanks for reading and I hope you'll review !
Ethereal
Chapter One
"Maybe she would like to join us on this outing for dinner?"
And he thinks that she's wrong but a trip to that room is suddenly the best idea he's heard and he'll take any excuse he can get. He cares for Star deeply. She is like a raw force, so full of life with heart and feelings bare for all to see. It is powerful and enchanting but as hard as he tries he can never keep up. She is bright and therefore a contrast to himself and perhaps that is why he keeps her around. But as beautiful as sunlight it is, it burns after long hours of night.
"I'll find her." His tone is always deep and his voice always scratchy. He doesn't speak as much as he used to and she hangs on every word. Her eyes are green and wide with hope. She hopes that maybe this will be the day he has something more to say. She cannot read his face. His eyes shaded from hers with a fabric that is now the subject of her loathe and envy. She wishes that one day he will trust her like that cloth and allow her to see what he hides from everyone else. Because all anyone wants is a piece no one else can have. She wants a piece of him no one else can touch.
"You go on ahead." But today is not that day. So with a smile hiding just a fraction of disappointment she searches for the others leaving him in the dim hall. And he exhales. Not because she is troubling. Not because she is bothersome but because she is simply too much for right now. His mind will not let him sleep and there are people always calling his name and all he wants to do is rest.
'We can rest when were dead.' And he will.
The halls are lined with pictures. Framed fan mail or titan inspired works of art painted by admirers. There are sketches of the tower in it's first construction and a couple of group photos. Action shots, caught by various newspapers scatter the dark gray walls and Robin manages to find a couple where he catches himself smiling. His eyes stray to the image of a dark cloak with glowing violet eyes squinted and intense with an untapped power and a face tight with concentration and focus.
Despite what he would have others believe, this is not a job for him. Not like it is for her.
The weight of the world only rests on his shoulders because he puts it there and no other reason. Because deep down past that man on a quest for vengeance or revenge is a boy who needs to be needed. He has a name and a life outside the titans but should this is end he will have nothing else.
He will have nothing else because he chooses to have nothing else and that is his choice. Conscious or not.
It's something they've never discussed before. What they would do in the event of the team's separation. Star would always have her kingdom. Her family. He would have a house and an identity to return to and the guys ? They had their own lives before and they would find them again. And if fighting crime was their extent of their life long goals, the Titan's tower would be welcoming and of course there was the justice league.
But what of Rae? The daughter of a devil from another world entirely.
He thinks of what he'll do with her when he reaches her door. Where he'll put her, he means. She could never blend with him in Gotham.
She'd be a titan forever whether she wanted to or not and there would be no peace. Who else could she go with ? Who else did she know better.?
They were getting older and the title Teen Titans seemed hardly appropriate anymore. Some wanted to get education.
Some wanted love and some wanted a shot at normal lives.
But he imagined she was very tired by now. Some wanted to learn. Some wanted romance but he was sure she wanted rest. From what he'd seen. From what she'd shown him. From what he felt, he knew it to be true.
Sleep or something like that.
Or maybe he did not know her as well he wished he did. Maybe she was just as much of a mystery to him as she was to the others. But one thing was for certain. He was closest. No one would be closer.
Because all anyone wants is a piece no one else can touch.
In the evenings when after a day of a stone facade and invulnerable amour she would collapse and allow the injuries she'd received in battle to tear her face in agony. She'd clutch her heart in attempts to relieve the tension. So heavy and bowed down with things that she could not grasp. They'd consume her and then ooze through her pores and flow from her skin like waves that crashed against his mind. He'd felt these feelings before but not coupled with her confusion. Never so much confusion and it hurts.
Her confusion made him dizzy until he could not remember who was scared anymore. Because he hears so many voices and they're all calling his name. He cannot help them all but her voice is the loudest so to her he goes and to comfort. And they are never sure of what they are doing but they are always positive it will work.
He imagines that she's sleeping now and he remembers the last time he's been on the other side of this door.
" Raven."
' Rae ?'
He could not figure out why his voice had been so desperate. Pleading. He had done nothing wrong.
He'd been in the library that evening. It was on one of the lower levels where the sun never shined quite as brightly and the air was just a bit stale. It wasn't visited often by the mass of them but that was fine. No more than three could fit comfortably. And even then three itself seemed far too great a number.
'Star?'
She came to him, cautiously staring the room down, wide green eyes shinning with tears. Her infectious smile absent on her face that evening. Instead her body shook with sobs as she frantically explained these feelings that recently come to surface. She leaned on his chest as he smiled and explained to her that this sickness that would not allow her to sleep was nothing more than homesickness.
He'd been a friend comforting a friend and at the time it had seemed completely innocent.
But to accusing violet eyes who have seen more than their fair share of seemingly innocent scenes this seemed anything put. Robin himself could feel Starfire's thoughts and he was no empath. He imagined Raven would never take the chance to check his feelings. To feel his thoughts. And he was right. She didn't.
' Rae, wait.' And even as the words fell past his lips they seemed heavy and laced with guilt. But even if this truly innocent embrace had been anything but, he would not be at fault. He made no promises and if Star had been more than a friend what right did she have to stare at him this way ?
But the stare was like a flash and vanished just as swiftly as it came. No accusatory glare but a panicked and shamed gaze. Her eyes averted quickly as she bowed her head stepping out quietly as if she'd witnessed something very private and personal.
And he supposes in a way, she did. Private and personal but not quite at the level of intimacy she assumed.
Nothing like she assumed.
' Rae ? Open this door.'
And he wanted desperately to tell her it was not what she thought. But had it not been ? The library could fit no more than two comfortably. And not just any two.
He thinks if he'd just been on the roof that evening this would have never happened.
That was her library.
' She was homesick. I was being a friend." It was truth. There had not been anything outside of platonic concern in that hug.
' She excites you.'
Outside of the typical biological body response of which he had no control over of course. Starfire was very attractive surely she understood that much about human physiology.
She opened the door after having regained some of her composure. She looked just as guilty as he felt. She looked just as lost and confused. He could see how foolish she felt. It was irrational but they could do nothing else.
' I'm sorry.' And he was. He was sorry for things he did not understand. He was sorry for feelings he wasn't responsible for. The last thing he wanted was to be the source of added confusion.
' You have nothing to be sorry for.' It was malicious, sarcastic or scornful. Her tone was dejected as the truth was often disappointing.
And Robin imagined that perhaps he wasn't the only person who wanted a piece to keep for himself.
He would give her much more than a piece. She could have everything.
Her eyes widened in slight panic as he neared her. His legs bringing him closer while hers backed into the wall. He brought up his hands up to hers and held them shakily against his chest as his breaths became heavy. She was seeping emotion and it hit him full force.
She'd never done this before and he'd never felt so much need in his life. What had she done ? It would be so easy to blame this on her but these feelings were not just her own. They were his too and they grew stronger with every mingled breath they took.
' We don't do this.' She whispered. And she was right. They'd never done anything of this sort before. Yet nothing had given him more of a thrill then the feeling of her small hands clutched tightly in his own. But it wasn't quite right. It wasn't enough. Something had to be fixed.
He looked down to find her pale fingers woven with his green gloved ones. It wasn't enough. He could sense the weight of them but nothing more.
' I can't feel you.' And there'd been such an edge in his voice. Such a desperate edge. Slowly he removed his gloves. Revealing his larger and naturally darker hands into the dim lit room. He flexed them once and allowed them to be chilled by the cooler room before taking them into hers once again. They were soft and silken against his rough and callous hands. They were fragile with smooth scars on the silvery skin.
They were shaking, those hands. Her eyes were closed as he backed her further into the dark corner. He could only imagine what she thought of him then, a madman. Breathing in the skin on her knuckles. Brushing his soft lips against her fingers ever so slightly as if the act alone would ease the need and heat that consumed him and refused to leave.
' It's not enough.' He told her. Closing his eyes burrowing his face into her neck, breathing deeply as he searched for control in every space of his mind. She gasped in shock as he nuzzled the skin there and as he fought every urge to taste just what essence lingered there on her flesh. He fought and he lost.
And with a slow and languid lick, he traced the edge of her jaw, never stopping at her gasp . She fisted her hands in his shirt and held her mouth open in what she could only describe as delicious horror. yes there was fear but there was something else. A feeling that she could not name.
' Robin.' It was a plea for something she could not speak. And if he ever had any chance of stopping it would be then and not a moment after. Part of him feared it was because she wanted this to be over. But he could tell from every shudder and shake that this was not the case. Lowering his hands, he slid them down to her sides never ceasing the kisses that went from her jaw to her collar.
' No, It's not enough.' He pressed his lips to hers pulling away just fraction too early leaving her to follow after him with searching lips. Slightly brushing his nose against hers in a conflicted manner he pulled her closer. Flush to his body. Watching carefully for the flicker in her eyes. She'd never experienced anything like this. He could feel it. But now he wanted to see it.
He wanted to make her feel it. To make her show it to him.
' Robin.' He would just die if she asked him to stop. Placing his face back into her neck he sunk his teeth into her as if searching for the pulse beneath her skin and she gasped loudly. Her arms slid around his shoulders with the intent to remove him her chest. There was too much heat and she couldn't breathe. But her hands fisted in his hair and held them.
' You weren't like this with Starfire.' It came out in a husky pant, she could not collect herself. She couldn't find her words.
' I'm sorry.' He apologized before and he would do it again. But he could not stop now. Feeling just a bit bolder than he had before he slid his hands down her sides. Pausing slightly as his fingertips grazed her chest where her heat beat wildly. She whined, this was new and so overwhelming. ' I'm so sorry.' he whispered before his hands found themselves tangled in her hair. His other following the curve of her back before coming back at her hips. His fingers spreading wide down her thighs before snatching her waist lifting her higher and closer to him. So tight she could feel his heat against her and she could feel his. And she whimpered. ' I'm sorry Raven, but I can't control myself.' But she could not either. And despite every warning her mind gave her she allowed herself to wrap around his middle.
' But I'm scared. ' But worse than the fear of the unknown was the fear that this throb, that this heat would never stop. Her heart would never slow and the air would never sit right with her lungs again. She wanted him to make it stop.
Robin took a deep breath before reaching for her zipper. ' I know.'
" Is she in there ?" He whips his head around to Starfire and it's then he realizes he's been standing at this door for nearly five minutes without any response from the other side. Cy and Beast Boy join them outside the dark titan's door waiting as Robin knocks once more on the door.
" Raven ?" He asks with authority in his voice. He'd been afraid to talk after his most recent stroll down what Starfire had named ' The Avenue of Nostalgia.' Otherwise known as Memory Lane. The memories were still fresh although it felt like ages ago and he hasn't been able to look at her the same since then. She'd seen so much more than his face that day. He was like an animal underneath the aesthetics and the human flesh.
Primal. And she'd seen it all.
" Maybe she left." The room looks untouched except for the missing clothes in the closet and the few empty spaces on the book shelves. Robin looks to Starfire and he almost believes her except he can't. Although Raven had never been one for confrontation he can't believe that she would leave without saying anything. He won't believe that she would just leave.
And there it was. Shimmering on her nightstand , his hope.
" Start a perimeter search and fan out." Though her whereabouts weren't certain, one thing was for sure, she did not leave. " She's been taken."
" It looks to me like she left, Rob--." He was well aware of the nature of Raven and Cyborg's relationship but he'd be damned if he was going to let a little bonding over cars and other hobbies have an influence on how to approach this situation. Their big brother/little sister game was nice. Endearing even but now wasn't the time for it. Cyborg knew Raven as well as their physician did and that's where it ended.
" You're wasting time." And there was no need to yell. So he never did. " Stop at the city limits we'll come back here and conference."
So they left. Each with a different looking marring their features. Cold. Confused. Betrayed. He would fix it later, right now all that concerned him was the mirror clutched tightly in his hand.
While Raven was an enigma, her origin was an even greater mystery. This mirror was portal to her mind. If she'd been kidnapped and was permitted to bring things with her, why would she leave something so vital. Something that could make her so vulnerable to attack.
Robin imagined that perhaps this mirror is capable of more. Although it pained him more than anything to go in search of help from this particular scrap of a man Robin feared he had no choice. The Titan's had not been the only ones to have a history with Raven. Though they couldn't be farther from allies, there is one more who knows about Azarath. One who may know a great deal more than he does.
Tomorrow Robin thinks he'll visit an old friend.
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-- Violet.
