Hee: This revamp is fer srs, I'm loving writing it. Enjoy you guys, I hope it's actually an improvement from the original.

Sweet Parody

Chapter 2 - By the lungful


"And here is your room," Miss Martha announced while opening the plain white door.

Naruto peeked in, letting his eyes fall on everything trying to find something he wouldn't like. He took a step in, past Miss Martha, wondering if she'd shut the door behind him and lock him in forever. The very thought made him want to throw himself out of this place as fast as he could. But when the door remained open and flower girl came in with him, his panic vanished. It was a nice room, he decided. Much nicer than the one in the hospital.

This room had a large area rug on the floor, a table with comfy chairs, and a bed that looked like a real bed. A bookshelf and a desk were wedged into the corner on the far side of the room, next to an arm chair that looked far too nice to be in a sanatorium.

Naruto scurried over to the bed and flopped down on it, relieved to find a mattress far softer and comfortable than he'd slept on at the hospital. Flower girl smiled down at him and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I'll leave you to get settled in."

The door shut and Naruto yawned. He curled up on the bed and listened for any sound outside his room. There was some noise but it was distant and not nearly as bothersome as the sound of the hospital. It was quieter here, nicer, not as many people and he got his own room where he wouldn't be fussed over. Naruto liked it here.

"Will they run tests on me here?" Naruto asked.

"Tsunade might want to do-"

"I hate her," Naruto blurted, then adding, "sorry."

Flower girl arched an eyebrow at him incredulously and scolded, "Naruto, it's not nice to say things like that, she's just trying to help you get your memories back."

"She's not helping she's making it worse."

"Either way, she has good intentions and you shouldn't hate her because she certainly doesn't hate you, far from it."

"Did I know her, flower girl?"

"What?"

"Did I know her before my accident?"

Naruto rolled over and gazed up at flower girl who was avoiding his eyes, "Did I?"

"She was like a grandmother to you, you were very close," Flower girl said stiffly, eyes trained on the door.

"Should I call her grandma?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask her?"

"Okay," Naruto smiled, wiggling his way to flower girl's side. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his face against her hip. She ran her hands through his hair, scratching lazily at his scalp.

"Flower girl."

"Hmm?"

"Did I know you?"

The head rub paused a moment before picking up again as Sakura said, "Naruto, not now."

"I knew you, didn't I?"

"Naruto," when he looked up at her, Flower girl was making her best sad face, and Naruto let it go. Soon he fell asleep in his new room.


Time passed as Naruto grew accustomed to this new life where time before the mysterious 'accident' fell away, and he lived with a group of other children at the sanatorium. Flower girl became his world, and though he'd only met her the day he woke up, quickly she became everything to him. She visited him, attended group activities with him, and brought plenty of friends to visit.

Slowly over the course of several months Naruto was introduced to all of Flower girl's friends: Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Sai, Yamato, Kakashi, Rock Lee, Neji, Ten-Ten, Iruka, and Jiraiya. Though, granted, Naruto didn't like Sai very much, or Neji, he liked everyone else. Flower girl had nice friends. Jiraiya became like a grandpa to him as much as Tsunade had become his grandma. Sometimes, they would take him out to lunch with Flower girl and Iruka and Kakashi. It was like spending the day with his whole family. That's what they were, his family. Kakashi was strange, and sometimes cold, he had a way of saying something as a joke that was mean and left you wondering if he'd meant it to hurt or not and Naruto didn't like it. But something told him he should like Kakashi and he did, even if he made him extremely uncomfortable. Iruka was like a second Flower girl he was so nice. He visited whenever he could and seemed to care in that motherly, non-suffocating way that Flower girl did. Tsunade had become much nicer once she'd stopped trying to run tests on him all the time though she always seemed a bit sad even when she was really happy.

The rest, like Ino and Shikamaru, only showed up occasionally, because they were much busier. But it was never more than a few weeks in between their visits. Flower girl had given up mission work for the sake of working at the hospital so that she could come and visit him whenever she wanted.

Naruto settled into a routine of attending group activities, and visiting with his makeshift family and flower girl's friends. Time slipped away easily and without much notice. Life didn't change much, until Flower girl brought a new friend to visit.


"Where's Naruto?"

Sakura ignored the question again. She'd lost count how many times Sasuke had asked her that as she hadn't intended on answering and it seemed like he didn't know any other words. Granted, the fact that she'd shushed Sai and Kakashi about the matter had probably piqued his curiosity. Sakura had decided a mile or two back that she didn't care if he was curious or not, it wasn't up for discussion.

"Sakura, are you planning on ignoring me all the way back to Konoha?"

She ignored that too, keeping her eyes on the path straight ahead. Sakura heard Sasuke sigh, and upon hearing no further questions she allowed herself an inward sigh of relief. They'd gone and found Sasuke upon hearing about his escape from Orochimaru's control. It had been surprisingly easy and no doubt had been blind luck on their part. He'd been planning on locating certain people with whom to form a new team that might aid him in tracking his older brother and allowing his hasty murder. After that Sakura had no idea what his plans might be, but she didn't care anymore.

It was Sasuke who had taken away Naruto. If he hadn't run off, Naruto wouldn't have chased after him. If he hadn't defected and joined Orochimaru, then Naruto wouldn't have followed and been put under the genjutsu that changed him for the rest of his life. Any remote nostalgia Sakura might feel wasn't worth Sasuke finding Naruto and messing him up even more. He was a criminal just like any other, and he would see his punishment.

"So why come all the way out here to 'rescue' me if you won't even look at me, let alone talk to me?"

That was it.

Sakura whirled around and marched her way over to Sasuke, meeting his lazy scowl with an impassive expression, "First of all we weren't rescuing you, we were capturing you, you're an s-rank criminal in the bingo book. Second, whether or not I look at you or talk to you does not matter, no amount of petty memories will affect this mission."

Sasuke smirked at her, "You really believe all that?"

"Yes I do, now you can smirk all you want but if I hear so much as one more word out of you I will rip out your tongue myself."

Sasuke's gaze turned dispassionate though his mouth did not open and the smirk left his lips. Sakura turned away from him and returned to the front of the group, renewing their brisk pace, eventually leading them into the trees to make better time. The rest of the way back to Konoha, Sasuke did not talk unless absolutely necessary and those were the shortest sentences Sakura had ever heard.

Upon their arrival home, Sasuke was delivered directly to Tsunade, and from her then to the council elders. Sakura made her way from the hokage's tower to her small apartment located near the hospital for a much needed shower before she headed over to see Naruto. She was almost there when she recognized Kakashi's chakra signature behind her.

"What do you want, Kakashi?" she asked, her voice clipped.

"He has every right to know about Naruto, and you know that."

"He has no right, and I won't have him so much as touching Naruto with a ten foot pole, he's done enough damage already."

"Sakura-"

"No, Kakashi, now if you'll excuse me, I really need to get cleaned up before I head over to the sanatorium, tell me how Sasuke's execution goes, will you?"

Leaving him on her porch, Sakura shut the door in her old sensei's face, locking the door. The lock was an almost frivolous precaution against Kakashi, it wouldn't stop him. She was far too lazy to set up any sort of sophisticated trap or alarms, and she knew that was probably unbecoming of an experienced kunoichi. But she just didn't have the energy these days. She shuffled down the hall into her bedroom to grab a change of clothes before wandering into the bathroom to take a shower. Here was a perfect reason why she didn't miss going on extended missions. Being out in the wilderness, not getting the comfort of indoor plumbing, that was a drag. Sakura was definitely meant to be a modern woman.

After her shower Sakura grabbed her purse and left the apartment. She hadn't seen Naruto in over a week, and though she'd left him in the more than capable hands of Iruka, she was still a little worried about him. She didn't get to the sanatorium however; she was stopped by one of Tsunade's on-call ANBU. They informed her that Tsunade had demanded her presence in the hokage's tower and she was not to refuse her. Sakura grumbled and changed directions, taking to the rooftops to save time.

When she crawled through Tsunade's window and came to stand before her desk she was more than a little exasperated.

"You wanted to see me Tsunade?"

The aging hokage glanced up from her paperwork and nodded gesturing for Sakura to take a seat. She did so, albeit a bit reluctantly, sitting stiffly in the proffered chair. Tsunade shook her head.

"Sasuke's hearing has not yet ended but-"

"They're having a hearing?!" Sakura screeched, "Why didn't they just take him out back and slit his throat and call it done? Certainly his defection and all that he's done to Konoha would merit-"

"Sakura! Calm yourself!" Tsunade ordered, and she fell silent, though that did not keep her from seething inwardly.

"Though the hearing has not ended yet, I have heard that they are not considering an execution," Tsunade started, keeping Sakura hushed with a single scolding look, "they are intending to impose certain restrictions upon him, but for the most part he will be allowed to rejoin Konoha without any major hindrances."

"Will he be allowed to remain a nin of Konoha?" Sakura bit out.

"I don't know yet, it isn't certain. If he is it won't be right away and he'll have to earn it."

"He shouldn't be allowed to earn it; I don't understand why he's not in prison, let alone still alive."

"I've told you all I know for the time being. It would be wise for you to calm down, and go visit Naruto, forget this mess. I'll contact you when the hearing is over."

"Fine," Sakura spat, gracelessly climbing back out the window.

She leapt from rooftop to rooftop until she reached the sanatorium. Landing in front of the lobby doors, Sakura made her way to the front desk and signed herself in. The receptionist greeted her kindly but didn't hold her up with small talk. It was probably the less than joyous expression on her face that clued the woman in.

Walking to Naruto's room was mindless by now having visited him countless times. So Sakura was free to brood and rage inwardly about Sasuke's lack of punishment. Was it because he was an Uchiha and traitor or not he was welcome in Konoha simply so they had something to brag about? That was sinking to a new low in Sakura's opinion. She hadn't even thought of what the repercussions might be when she first left to obtain Sasuke and bring him home. She'd thought that Tsunade had issued the mission in the hopes of keeping him from joining up with Akatsuki and wreaking further havoc. But now that they were home and the council wasn't even thinking of holding an execution, Sakura had her doubts. Kakashi had wanted her to tell Sasuke about Naruto, and Tsunade hadn't seemed to mind at all about the lax treatment Sasuke was receiving from the council…

Sakura knocked on the door to Naruto's room. After she heard a muffled 'come in' she opened the door and shuffled into the room. Naruto was seated at the table, drawing yet again. He switched from coloring in coloring books to actually drawing his own pictures quite often. Sakura found that he was getting better and better even though every picture he finished was clearly the work of a seven year old boy. She collapsed into the chair opposite him at the table. Naruto looked up at her worriedly.

"Are you okay flower girl?"

"I'm okay, just very tired."

Naruto didn't look like he believed her but he didn't say anything to that effect and Sakura was thankful. For the moment she just wanted to be with him and to relax.


Sasuke popped his back as soon as he was out of the room. He stretched and yawned, relieved to have at least one wall separating him from the stuffy old council members. He'd loathed them when he was younger and he still loathed them now, if only because they were still just as boring. At that moment there were only a few things that Sasuke Uchiha wanted: 1. He wanted to be rid of the abhorrent chakra absorbing shackles on his wrists and ankles, 2. He wanted a nice, long shower, and 3. He wanted to find out what was going on with Naruto.

The first time he questioned his ex-teammate's absence he hadn't cared, only slightly interested in why the clingy brat hadn't been there for his successful capture. Usually Naruto clung to him like shit to a sheep's ass, refusing to let go of him no matter what. But the third time Konoha had sent nin out after him Naruto had not been with them. Where else would he be? Then, however, no one had answered him, he'd asked again and when Sai (his replacement) had tried to reply Sakura had silenced him with a glare. Ultimately his nagging inquiry had ended with a threat to remove his tongue, a threat Sasuke had no doubt Sakura intended to follow through on. Where was Naruto? What was going on that was so horrible it was unspeakable?

An ANBU guard appeared at his shoulder, shoving him roughly forward, instructing him to get a move on. They needed to be in Tsunade's office five minutes ago. It took quite some time to get there because with his limited chakra he couldn't force any into his legs to try and leap through the air like the ANBU were free to do. That and his ankles were linked and he didn't fancy hopping anywhere like a bunny. As they maneuvered through town Sasuke was interested in the looks he received. There were some small children who looked at him, pestered their mothers for a minute until they were heavily scolded and turned away from him. The rest of the people, who saw him either spat at him, cursed him, or avoiding glancing in his direction all together. He knew he wasn't in good favor with the general population but he hadn't thought it was this bad. There were plenty of traitors out there, what was so bad about him in particular?

Once in the hokage tower it was a matter of getting him up the stairs with his feet restrained as they were. A ten minute climb up stairs turned into a half hour long expedition. Eventually they did reach Tsunade's office, and she did not look all that interested in their arrival. It took her a few minutes to acknowledge their existence.

"Set him down in the chair and stand outside the door," she ordered.

Sasuke was 'set down' in the single chair resting in front of Tsunade's desk and his escorts left them alone. The hokage propped her elbows up on her desk and leant her chin on her folded hands. A few hand seals later and the room was soundproofed, the windows shut. Sasuke arched an eyebrow at her, intrigued by her precaution.

"I want to make something clear to you, Uchiha," she started, "your life rests solely in my hands, and if you cannot cede to my demands then it will end."

Sasuke nodded to show he understood, and in turn motioning for Tsunade to continue.

"The reason I had you brought back here was to help me with Naruto's case, I gave up any hope of being able to help him myself, but lately I've been thinking that he isn't beyond help entirely, just beyond mine. You can help him."

"Hokage," Sasuke iterated, "what happened to him?"

"Two years ago he was put under a genjutsu that lasted five days, and in order to protect his body and mind from any further damage all of his memories were repressed and in turn…he mentally regressed to the age of seven," Tsunade's words were clipped and weary as if she'd had to say them too many times, and no matter how often she said it, it still hurt.

Sasuke stared at her, wondering if this was the part where Kakashi, Sakura, and Naruto leapt out of Tsunade's closet and yelled, 'Surprise! Gotcha!' Maybe a camera would appear and take his picture, to forever immortalize the single moment where Sasuke Uchiha looked…surprised.

But as the silence hung in the air, stagnant and thick, making every lungful burn him inside, there were no cameras. No Kakashi, no Sakura, and no Naruto. There was just Tsunade, awaiting a response of some kind, one he wasn't sure he could manage. He, Sasuke Uchiha was at a loss for words. Even when he opened his mouth all that came out was a strangled noise that didn't sound like anything remotely dignified.

"Imagine what you're feeling, imagine it never going away, and imagine feeling that every day, for two years."

Sasuke couldn't imagine it. He couldn't and he didn't want to. He hadn't realized he'd been staring at the floor until he looked up at the hokage and found her sighing, her eyes riveted to the paperwork adorning her desk. This…this was crazy. Naruto didn't just…fade away, like this. He didn't give up, he didn't lose himself. What kind of rival was he if he just…disappeared?

"Now, Naruto doesn't remember anything from before he woke up in the hospital after the genjutsu. But he has had nightmares about a man with snakes…and a boy with black hair he thinks he used to know. It's not much, but it's all I've got. Maybe if you spend time with him you can trigger some memory recall."

Sasuke gawked at her, "Tsunade, you know how much of a long shot that is, there's no way that if he's repressed his memories for this long I can bring some back just by hanging around him."

"I know, don't you think I know?!" Tsunade screeched, the drastic change in volume causing Sasuke to jump in his seat, annoyed that he'd let himself be so easily startled.

"I've lost too much, Uchiha, and if I have any chance, any at all that I might be able to get that brat back I'll take it, no matter if it's a 'long shot' or not!"

Sasuke kept his mouth shut, waiting for the hokage to calm herself and retake her seat. When she did, Sasuke broke the silence once more, blindly hoping she'd take some sort of pity on him.

"With all due respect, Hokage, I don't think I can do what you're asking me-"

"Then you are of no use to me," she spat, "would you rather have the ANBU perform your execution or the hateful villagers outside?"

"Hokage, please you've seen him like this, you know how hard it is, can't you-"

"Exactly why I have no sympathy for you, you're the reason he's this way in the first place, if you hadn't run off he wouldn't have chased you and fallen under that forsaken genjutsu, and he'd still be here!"

Sasuke shifted awkwardly in his chair. Why out of all of the people in his life did Naruto have remember only him? To torture him of course, to grate on his nerves, that's all Naruto had ever done. Sasuke didn't really care one way or the other if Naruto was crazy or not. He cared about whether or not Tsunade decided to sick a village full of hateful civillians with torches and pitchforks on him. If he lived there was always the slight chance that he could escape and one day carry out his life's ambition. He couldn't very well avenge his clan if he was dead too. Sasuke sat rigid in his chair, glaring at Tsunade for all he was worth but she remained unaffected. Spend time with his old rival and teammate who'd gone crazy because of him, or die? He gave in, feeling severely disgruntled by doing so.

"Where is he?"

"The sanatorium."

Sasuke sighed, "Alright, when do I start?"

"As soon as I get a hold of Hyuuga-sama, you'll be staying with her during your probation," Tsunade informed him, releasing the silencing seals.

"…her?"

"Hinata Hyuuga took over the position of clan head when her father passed away last year, she is the best candidate for being your keeper for the next sixth months."

Sasuke scowled at the term 'keeper' but said nothing. Patience was a virtue he'd never cultivated, but he had a feeling it would be wise to start now. The task of aiding Tsunade in her foolishly hopeful errand, and the prospect of being watched over by Hinata, did not bode well.

TBC...