"You've been avoiding me all day long, Steve" Said his boss; she sat on a chair behind the counter, Castiel smiled

"I don't know what you are talking about" He said smiling again, but she knew about his suicide attempt

"You know what I'm talking about" She whispered as she walked towards the door to close the shop

"It's about yesterday?" He asked trying to fake being clueless

"Yes, Steve… What a hell was that?" She continued closing the door and turning to face him

"I was… Confused" Said Castiel with shame in his face "I never meant to cause any trouble"

"That's not the answer Steve" She continued resting her hands on his shoulders "Suicide is never the answer"

"You don't know what it feels like"

"What it feels to be so depressed and worthless that you want to die?" Said she smiling sadly, Castiel surprised face made her smile "I attempted suicide too… Long before my baby was born"

"Why?" Asked Castiel in a shy way "If you don't mind me asking"

"I was depressed, unemployed and my husband was travelling" She continued sitting on a chair "I felt so much pain, I just loved him so much to be away from him"

Castiel pulled a chair and sat looking at her face, while she wiped a stubborn tear of the corner of her eye

"He suffered an accident and the thought of not having him with me make me suffer"

"What made you want to live?" Asked Castiel smiling empathetic

"He wouldn't want that" She replied smiling "What kept you from pulling the trigger?"

"I… Don't know" Said Castiel looking away "I wasn't brave enough"

"What about Dean?" She asked watching Castiel's surprised expression "Is he your boyfriend?"

"N-No" Replied Castiel blushing, it was an absurd idea "Dean is just a friend"

"He was worried about you" She continued smiling and nodding "I get that he care a lot about you"

"Y-Yes…" Stammered Castiel "He's like family to me"

"So you love him, don't you?" Asked she smiling, Castiel blushed and stood up to look away "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry"

"No it's ok" Said Castiel embarrassed "I just… Never thought about Dean in that way"

"Well…" Said she opening the door "He sure looks like he loves you" She left through the door, and Castiel smiled…A question rose in his mind, was because of Dean he didn't pull the trigger?


"What's up Cas?" Said Dean over the phone, Castiel was laid on his sleeping bag in the storage room

"Dean?!" He replied confused, it was late night, but he didn't mind to talk with him

"Oh, I'm sorry…" Dean continued "I just woke you up right?"

"No, it's ok" Said Castiel smiling, he wanted somehow to hear Dean's voice again

"So are you unfrozen?"

"Yes…I'm, Dean" Replied Castiel confused, Castiel was human, but he didn't get any jokes, mainly Dean's jokes

"I'm sorry for leaving you, Cas…" Continued Dean in sad tone "But I needed to keep an eye on Sammy"

"I understand Dean" Said Castiel looking at the ceiling "You've been a good friend to me, thank you"

"Hun… You are welcome" Replied Dean a little bit happier, after a long second he continued "I wish you were here, with us"

"Me too" Said Castiel covering himself

"I'm sorry for not telling you why, Cas" Castiel interrupted him

"It's ok, Dean, I trust you" Dean smiled while parking his impala; Castiel could hear the engine stopping "Aren't you tired?"

"I can't sleep" Replied Dean running his hand thought his face

"Why?" Asked Castiel in a curious tone, for him sleeping was the only thing that came easily

"I've had too many things on my mind" Said Dean in low tone "Too many things"

"I wish I could help you…" Said Castiel smiling sadly again "Like before"

"I wish you could too" Replied Dean sad "I miss you… I mean, Sam and I miss you"

Castiel laughed softly that was a different side of Dean he didn't see until now "I miss you too, Dean"

"And how are things with your boss?"

"She is comprehensive… But…"

"But… What?" Asked Dean a little suspicious

"She was under the impression that we were… Hun… together" Said Castiel laughing

"Did she?" Laughed Dean embarrassed "Why would she think that?"

"I don't know" Lied Castiel, he knew that Dean and him had something, an especial friendship. "Isn't that crazy?"

"Totally" Said Dean trying to hide something, Castiel smiled, he knew Dean was trying to hide something from him, but he had no idea what would that be. "What did you tell her?"

"The truth"

"The whole truth?"

"No, Dean" Said Castiel laughing softly "She would think I'm insane if I did"

"So you lied to her?"

"No, I told her we were like family" Said Castiel; he waited for a reply that didn't come "Aren't we?"

"Yes… Cas" Said Dean embarrassed "Like Family"