Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or the characters TT

Warnings: Language, yaoi maybe, blood

Author: Kumiko-kun

Pairings: Riza x Havoc, One-sided Winry x Ed, and maybe Roy x Ed

Description: Ed remembers the day that he destroyed everything he loved. Depression overcomes himself as the memories flood his mind. Is there any way to return Ed to a state of happiness that was taken away from him at such a young age?

The Forgotten Times

Part 2

"That day, three years ago when he returned from the mission in the east something had happened to Ed," Roy stated as they entered the hospital to find the young man. He kept his voice hushed so only Riza could hear him. "The report mentioned nothing of what happened but I could tell that whoever he fought had done this to him. He came back to central in far worse condition than anyone had ever seen him in before." Roy continued as they rounded a corner. "His automail was in pieces, his bones broken and his eyes full of fear and death. He won't speak of that day, not to me not to anyone. That day changed him."

He shook his head before continuing. "He was getting better, Riza, he was. I could tell by the way he used to look at us when we all would laugh at the office. It pained me to see him the way he was when he came back. It looked like his entire life was stripped from him, like everything he had worked for was gone."

Roy held his hands out in front of him for a moment, stopping his walk. "That day, he cried tears that were held back for so long without saying a word. I could tell that he was holding something in from me," he sighed. Clenching his fists, he made his way toward Ed's room again. "He's still hiding something from me and I want to know what's wrong."

"Sir, it would be best not to provoke him," Riza said when they finally reached the room they were looking for. "Let him rest some before you start your interrogation. We are both worried for his sake, since we don't know what happened then or now for that matter."

Roy smirked at her before sitting outside the room on the open chairs. "I won't, Hawkeye," he said. "I hear him screaming in his sleep some nights. The night he came back from that mission, all he did was cry and apologize to his mother and brother. Whatever happened on that mission had something to do with that, I know it. The scars strewn all over his body were not inflicted by another person but he refuses to speak of their origins as well. I worry about him, Hawkeye."

"We all do, sir," she said simply, laying her hand on his shoulder.

Roy sighed before covering his face with his hands. "I know but…" he paused for a moment as a nurse walked passed them. "When he returned from that mission and after he was in the hospital for weeks, he hasn't spoken a word to anyone. Even at the meetings we have about missions after that one, he refuses to speak one word. That mission must've been one that touched him in the heart, where it would hurt the most. I've gone through that mission folder and his report too many times to have missed something."

"I'm sure that something will turn up, sir," she said, quietly as she watched his facial expressions change when the door to Ed's room opened up.

"You are General Mustang?" The doctor asked, looking at where Roy was sitting.

Roy nodded before standing.

"It's not good," the doctor said as he began to explain the situation. "It seems like he was shot in the stomach, we were able to remove the bullet from his abdomen but he will need to be bedridden for some time before he is able to move at all. The bullet caused some internal bleeding and damages that we were able to fix but something seems off about him. We are still running some tests to see if there is something else."

"What do you mean by 'something off'?" Roy asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"In order to get the bullet out, we had to sedate him to keep him still yet his body seemed to reject the sedative to the point where his face cringed at the incisions and his eyelids flickered but he did not wake," he explained. "The nurse said the monitor showed him to be completely sedated; however, I doubt a sedated person reacts this way. We are unsure whether it is something mental or physical to the reaction of the chosen sedative."

"He has nightmare, doctor," Roy replied, glancing at the closed door to Ed's room. "That may be the cause of it."

"We won't know for sure until we run a few tests, but for now we want to find out if he has a place to stay when he is released," the doctor stated, looking down at the clipboard in front of him.

"He can stay with me," Roy said, not bothering to look at the doctor.

"Very well then, let me get the papers ready," he said before turning to go. "He might be asleep now but you are welcomed to go inside."


Ed lay in the hospital bed, gripping the sheets in pain and agony as the doctors around him tried their hardest to calm him down. He could hear the doctors around him yelling for assistance as he grew more and more erratic. The doctors removed the blood-soaked shirt as Ed screamed in pain. Memories began to haunt him as he they injected something into his arms. He could feel himself slipping away just as the images began to show in his head. Images of things he wanted to forget but his mind held onto.

His body was nearly torn to pieces with his automail in pieces beside him on the ground. Pain wrecked his body as he knelt there before the laughing man who had done this to him. His flesh hand held his stomach as he coughed up blood from where the man had kicked him. This was a first for him getting beat so badly in a fight. Usually he was the one to lord over those who he fought against. Now it seemed like the tables had turned for him and in a bad way.

The man laughed, watching him spit up blood. Slowly, he walked over to where Ed knelt on the ground and leaned down. He rested his hand on Ed's head before smirking and gripping his hair to pull him up to look at him in eyes. A smirk graced the man's face before dropping Ed onto the ground.

"You look so pathetic," he said, kneeling down beside Ed's limp form. "I bet your mother thought that when you killed her, and you let your brother push you out of the way to kill him as well."

Ed wanted to scream at the man. Wanted to yell that he was wrong but he couldn't. His voice refused to work and his body only screamed in pain. Tears welled up in his eyes as he watched the man laugh at him. It was too pathetic to just lay there and take the pain given to him.

"It's too bad that your brother isn't here to see you in such pain," the man laughed then stopped thinking a moment, taping his chin. "Oh, that's right, you killed him. It's your fault, Fullmetal, everything is your fault. I watched you that night running around in that little house of yours playing. Too bad you wanted to play more. They would all have been alive if you hadn't of wanted to play again. Kicking that lamp over onto rug, perfect way to cover their deaths. Too bad you killed them."

The man walked around a bit with his hand behind his back.

"You became a murderer so young in life, Ed," he laughed. "To kill your brother and your mother is so heartless. You wanted to be pitied because your family was gone? Did you want everyone to feel sorry for you? You are a murderer, a heartless murderer!"

Ed struggled to get up from where he was laying, tears forcing their way down his cheeks.

"Don't deny it, Fullmetal, you wanted them dead so you killed them. You could have saved them both," he said, watching his struggle to stand. "You know you could have kept them both alive. Just face it," he smirked, "you had every opportunity to keep them alive but your selfishness came into play and you just let them die. Their blood is on your hands, they died because of you!"

"No!" Ed yelled, quickly sitting up in the hospital bed which he found to be a horrible idea when a sharp pain shot up his chest. Falling back onto the bed he saw that Hawkeye and Mustang were both standing beside the bed with worried looks on their faces.

Sweat covered his brow as he looked around the room before finding his way to Mustang's eyes. He could see in his eyes that he was scared and worried but he looked away from those dark eyes. He didn't want anyone else in his life; they would die because of him. His eyes were full of unshed tears that he meant to keep that way, he had cried too much for anyone to see his weak side. Although being in a hospital after what had happened didn't make him seem any less weak. His hand lay absently on his abdomen where the bullets had passed through. All he had to do that day was return to central and turn in one report but it had to turn out this way.

He could hear Roy and Riza talking amongst themselves beside the bed but he didn't turn around to see them. Their lives were too precious to become a part of his; they would end up dying just like his family. He would end up killing them just as he had done already before. Slowly, his mind slipped off into sleep where he hoped to have one peaceful night of sleep.


A/N: okay this chapter TOTALLY sucked lol. Sorry about this took me a bit to write it and I am totally sorry for it being crappy. Just trying to figure out where I want this story to go and how I want it to end!! Any suggestions are welcomed and I will update soon!! Reviews would keep me going to see how much people like this one!!