Stan's Secret

Hey reader...Can you keep a secret?

…Hey dude, I'm Stan...Star Quarterback for the South Park Cows. I need to tell you something...I know I don't know you, but I'd rather talk to you than my friends.

I'm cheating on Wendy with Craig Tucker.

See it all started in junior high, it's because I am sick of Wendy making and breaking up with me all the time. I want a simple relationship with someone who will always be there you know?

Well like always… she dumped me. It happened on a snowy Monday, and you know how Monday is always the shitty day? Well don't complain, because I bet my Monday was worse than all yours currently put together.

She started yelling and calling me names in the middle of the school hall, because I "don't pay her enough attention" later that day back on the bus, my mind replayed everything she yelled about, and I cringed when my eyes filled with tears. The next thing I remember is being comforted by none other than Craig douche bag Tucker.

I thought it was pretty fucked up right there when he didn't casually flip me off and walk past like the ignorant prick he usually is; but I guess he's pretty cool after all. So we started to kinda hang out, and one thing led to another and before I knew it, he was kissing me on his couch, and I liked it.

But then as usual Wendy must of been over her little drama queen episode and wanted me back...10 texts, 6 homes calls, and a shitload of emails. I still like her too...and as much as I don't wanna sound desperate here...we got back together after two weeks of silence.

I hate lying to her, but I love Craig too...I don't want to pick one or the other. I see Wendy during the day at school and every Saturday, and I see Craig two times a night and we hang out on Sundays at Starks Pond.

I don't need a lecture from you on how bad or wrong this is, or that I'm hurting
them both. I know that...but I don't want to choose.

Promise you'll keep it a secret?