I've given the mess hall more tables, as usual in these stories.

Sorry about that cliffhanger last time - enjoy!

Part 2 of 3.


In My Place

-2-

Cerberus Principles

There's a moment of silence, them simply looking at each other; their words hang in the air. Both of them search for something to say in the wake of the end of years of less-than-blissful ignorance.

His mind has gone blank... well, blank except for a few creative curses, about a quarter of them quarian. Yes, he's done his research about her race - he knew what she was suggesting from the moment she said it.

He has to admit, it was still kind of a shock - it's the most... forward proposition he's ever had.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Her voice is quiet, almost a whisper.

"You never asked? Besides, I'm human." He sighs. "Thought you wouldn't be interested."

"You thought...? But... I'm quarian... I thought..."

He laughs nervously. "Don't tell me you had the same thing." There is a rather loaded silence, and he looks at her in disbelief. "You did, didn't you?"


It all comes pouring out then, about how she's felt for nearly four years, and he simply stands there, listening patiently. When she falls silent, looking to him for a reaction, he says, "For me, I realised a while before I... died." The last word is quieter, and she shakes her head as it brings back old memories, things she never wants to relive. Then his good spirits seem to return, and, as he makes his way out of Engineering, her still staring after him, he calls to her, grinning, "Cerberus are not gonna be pleased about this."

For the first time in weeks, she laughs.


The whistled strains of the Blasto theme tune echo through the CIC; Kelly looks up, frowning. "Commander?"

"Kelly?" He stops to take a look at his private terminal, but still seems to be listening.

"Has something... happened?"

"Yeah, it has," is all he replies, and he's strolling down to the cockpit.

Joker rolls his eyes. "Tali, right?"

The commander seems to snap out of his grinning-like-an-idiot trance. "Huh?"

"It was pretty obvious, Shepard."

He shrugs. "Scuttlebutt. No evidence."

"Sure. You just keep on saying that until someone believes it."


Ken and Gabby aren't the best at keeping secrets.

Tali discovers this when, as she sits in the mess hall - carefully on the other side of the room - trying to ignore the taste of the grey sludge that is protein paste, she sees crew members who she doesn't think know John sitting next to him and patting him on the back, smiling about something and... are they "toasting"? The word is foreign to her, but after he mentioned it and explained it to her, she thinks she understands.

It seems their discoveries are mutual - her knowledge about the human race is growing as rapidly as his about the quarians. The thought makes brings a smile to her face.

He's trying to laugh it off, mainly staring into his lunch and occasionally contributing the odd comment, but he catches sight of her across the room and raises his eyebrows, smiling and shrugging.

Keelah. She wants nothing more than to return that smile - well, for him to see it - and in that moment, she resolves to get this mask off as soon as possible.


In her office, plate barely touched, Miranda presses the "send" button, transmitting the report to the Illusive Man, frowning.

Shepard had seemed like a decent man, but... a quarian? Impractical, dangerous, and absolutely against Cerberus principles. Doesn't he realise the position this puts her in?


The silence echoes.

The ship is deserted except for the squad and a quiet, self-loathing Joker, caustic humour replaced by long silences spent glaring at the controls.

Hell, he even misses Ken's stupid comments, Gardner's excellent - thoroughly checked for germs and found clean - cooking, Chakwas' practicality and Kelly's easy chirpiness.

The squad? Miranda has been withdrawn and cool - just as he thought he was starting to crack her shell - ever since she found out about him and Tali; Mordin is staying busy, pretending to concentrate on upgrades and experiments; Garrus is doing more calibrations than ever before; Jacob is trying his best to keep upbeat, but sighs every time he mentions the crew... the list goes on, but the fact is simple: things just aren't the same. Tali is acting pretty normally, except for the occasional flirt in an attempt to cheer him up (he can't help being surprised, since he didn't know she could) and the sad silences whenever she looks at Ken and Gabby's desk.

The decision is made quickly; he can't stand it any longer, losing yet another crew, and his voice is firm. "Set a course for the Omega Four relay."

"You sure, commander?" Joker's voice is doubtful, and EDI adds her piece about why this could be disastrous.

"They have my crew. If the ship goes down, so does the captain." He spares a thought for the squad, those who have, either bravely or stupidly (or after being threatened by Cerberus, he supposes) agreed to do this with him. They went into this as a suicide mission. He repeats, "I'm sure."

Joker gives him an ETA and he retires to the Loft, knowing he won't be able to sleep but trying to find some way to waste time. Maybe compose a will? He already has one, as an Alliance soldier. The thought brings a harsh half-laugh from him as he steps into the elevator.


Sitting at his desk, frowning at a datapad, the sound of the door intercom startles him from his morbid trance, and he frowns as he opens it and sees Tali, shifting her weight awkwardly.

He frowns, but then he tries not to let his eyes widen as he wonders if this is what he thinks it is.

"John..." she begins nervously, and he lets her in, realising that these are probably the last few hours of his - and her, though the thought brings him physical pain - life.

It's exactly what he thinks it is.