CHAPTER 2: Crookshanks is Disturbed
Summary: Snape gets in trouble for doing an Irish jig. Hermione learns how to speak fluent Russian in 5 seconds. Crookshanks is disturbed.
"Hermione!" Snape called from the living room. "Come here!"
Hermione hurried in. "What? What is it?!"
He pointed to the computer screen. "It says here we are supposed to be working on our fourth child!"
Hermione's jaw dropped. "Fourth! I don't know if I can handle four! I'm only seventeen and I'm already dealing with twins!"
"No no, remember? Fanfic writers boosted up your age so I wasn't dating a minor."
"Oh… right," Hermione bit her lip.
"So…" Snape looked at her suggestively. "Do you want to try for another set of twins? Maybe if we work really hard we can hit two birds with one stone, if you know what I mean."
Hermione looked indecisive. "Maybe after CSI. I think Sara and Gissom are finally getting together and I want to see it."
Snape rolled his eyes patiently at his wife. "Wrong fandom, dear."
"Oh. Crap." Then she looked at Snape seductively. "Maybe if you do that Irish jig again I'll get in the mood. That was pretty hot."
Snape shook his head apologetically. "No, I can't. JK Rowling got mad at me. She said it 'wasn't canon.'"
Hermione sighed in frustration. "Well fuck."
Suddenly Snape looked inspired. "Wait!" Her got up from behind his desk and started doing a Russian dance. "She didn't say anything about Russian dances."
Hermione grinned and started talking to him in fluent Russian. Crookshanks slunk from the room, disgusted.
