Blueberry-pancakes
A/N: Should be read with Times like These (Mavis Staples) and Left for Dead (Citizen Cope) in the background, like a soundtrack.
Gwyn looked at the door with tears stinging in her eyes as it was slammed shut. She couldn't even remember what the argument had been about but she knew that she had definitely crossed a line with Derek, causing him to scream at her to mind her own god damn business before slamming the door behind him and getting in his car to catch the flight to Chicago.
He had never screamed at her before and despite her usually thick skin she could feel anger and guilt clawing inside of her.
It wasn't like they were an item or anything, they'd met at the hospital when Gwyn worked as a nurse during one of the agent's cases and they had occasionally been seeing each other since then. A couple of drinks here and there which usually led to them ending up at one of their places, spending the night together, so it was only natural that Derek had gone alone for his mother's birthday.
Derek had never said anything about wanting more than what they had and neither had Gwyn, but despite the fact that they weren't dating she cared about him very much and it had hurt her to hear him scream like that, at her or not.
"You could have said no." Derek shook his head with a lonely tear making its way down his cheek. His secret had come crawling back to bite him in the ass and he felt more alone than ever before as he pulled up on the empty driveway.
Gwyn's bicycle wasn't there.
He sighed and exited the car and grabbed his bags from the backseat before heading inside the house. His dog Clooney excitedly welcomed him home but Derek just patted him on the head and went into the kitchen to grab himself a beer and maybe even something stronger to numb the memories. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and was just about to open it when he spotted a big plate of blueberry-pancakes with a little note tucked in under the plate.
"I'm sorry."
He took out the plate and looked at it with a small smile tugging at his lips. The only one who knew that his favorite food in the whole wide world was his grandmother's blueberry-pancakes was Gwyn and he realized that she must have left no more than an hour before he arrived because the plate was still warm.
He put the plate back in the fridge along with the still unopened beer-bottle and opened the backdoor to the patio for Clooney before heading out the frontdoor again.
Gwyn turned the volume up on her stereo and took another sip from her wine before turning back to the dishes. The sweet sound of Mavis Staples' voice filled the apartment and the brunette couldn't help but let the corners of her lips up in a small smile despite the sadness in her heart.
Another night all alone in her apartment and considering that morning it was just one of many to come. Gwyn didn't like being alone and if she was it usually wasn't by choice but tonight she didn't actually mind it all that much. It's for the best, she tried to tell herself.
She thought she heard a slight knock on the door and wiped her hands before leaving the kitchen. Her mind is somewhere else because she didn't check the peephole like she usually did and just opened the door, surprise hitting her when she saw the dark FBI-agent standing in front of her, looking like he'd had a rough couple of days as well.
She didn't say anything, didn't trust her voice not to reveal the different emotions she was feeling at that moment. She just stepped aside and walked back into the kitchen, fully aware of the fact that Derek was following not far behind.
She leaned against the counter and looked at him, wondering if he had ever had this feeling about him before. He who always seemed so confident looked lost and fragile, like something had knocked him out of his normal way of being.
She didn't say anything and neither did he, he seemed to take in every word coming from the speakers and for every sentence his eyes turned more and more shiny. Still in silence he walked up to her and embraced her, his strong arms circling her waist as his head leaned softly on her shoulder.
Gwyn felt the tears stinging behind her closed eyelids as she allowed herself to return the embrace, feeling how his familiar scent relaxed her and somehow managed to chase the hurt in her heart away.
He took a shaky breath and let it out, feeling so secure in her arms as he let the tears escape his eyes. Why hadn't he understood sooner? Why hadn't he realized how much she really meant to him?
He hadn't even told her yet she had known that something was wrong that morning when he left for Chicago. She had asked what it was and he had just snapped.
It all made perfect sense now. He didn't want her to know because he was afraid. He was afraid she would leave if she knew the truth...
"I take it you found the pancakes." Gwyn's voice was as low as a whisper but there was a hint of a soft giggle that made Derek's lips twitch into a small smile.
"Only you would know to make my grandma's blueberry-pancakes when I'm upset about something." He could feel goosebumps spreading over Gwyn's skin as he nuzzled his face into her neck and he felt her shrug softly.
"I do what I can to help." Her voice suddenly sounded empty and Derek drew back to look her in the eyes.
"Just being here is enough." A twinge of happiness surged through the girl's body at his words and even though he hadn't actually said it aloud they both knew the hidden meaning of them.
He wanted her to stick around and she found that she really wanted that too.
"Although I wouldn't mind if you made the pancakes for me some other time." He continued and this time that beautiful familiar smile was on his lips.
"Anytime." She smiled back and met his lips in a soft kiss.
They may not be a conventional couple but hey, who ever said that that was a bad thing?
I hope you like it! It's short but I've had this idea in my head ever since I saw this episode so bare with it ;) Hit the review-button and let me know what you thought ;)
