A/N: I finally got around to a second chapter. Don't own Beyblade.
It was a beautiful service, many people would say after the fact. But, I disagree. There is nothing beautiful about death and saying goodbye.
The rain was gently pounding against the headstones and I could feel the water running down my face, mingling with the tears. Kai was gone. I had to wonder if he'd ever gotten my message or had I been too late?
Or maybe, he was too far gone to care. Either way I had failed him as a friend. We all had. It didn't matter that we had told him repeatedly that we had forgiven him. That everything would be back to normal soon.
We should have seen the pain in his eyes, the horrible suffering. Really, we'd all see it; we just chose to ignore it.
What terrible people we are.
It took us two days to find him; we had finally decided to take action. Too little to late as they say. I had gone into the bathroom only to see him lying there in a pool of his own blood on the cold tile floor. I don't think I'll ever get those images out of my mind. They'll haunt me until the day I die and part of me wants to remember.
To make me suffer for my mistakes and failures.
We were supposed to be like brothers, bonded for life. We could tell each other everything and anything. But, where was I when it truly counted? I'm disgusted with myself, looking in the mirror for the first time after finding him had actually made me physically ill.
In his hand was a simple note, "I'm sorry" it read. Did you really think so poorly of yourself? Did you really feel so alone Kai that you resorted to suicide? So completely and utterly alone? You're sorry...hadn't you realized we'd forgiven you?
Did you die thinking we all hated you?
The very thought makes my tears fall faster. I don't want you to be alone, but even in death you were. I wish I had been there to hold your hand and to guide you through it. To tell you everything would be okay. Did you regret it as you felt your life slipping away? Were you scared?
Oh God I hope you weren't.
Did you think about me, about all of us and what we'd think? I bet you thought you were doing us a favour. If you only knew Kai, if you only knew how much we'd all miss you. The priest is saying something about this being a sad day.
Understatement of the year. You know the press had a field day about this right? They were everywhere; actually I think they're waiting at the main gate of the cemetery for us. Can't they let us say goodbye in peace?
I think you broke Ian, Kai.
I thought I'd let you know.
He hasn't said or eaten anything in days. You were his older brother and he looked up to you. Spencer hasn't smiled since we found you and Bryan...I don't think he'll ever be the same. He saw you as a rock, no matter what happened you were there.
But, now you're not; so what are we to do? Move on? Everyone has been saying that since we found you, "It's time to move on." But Kai, I don't want to leave you behind. All alone again. I can just see you in my mind's eye waving goodbye as we all live on and grow old together and you'll become something of the past.
Something to be forgotten.
I look up as Max's sobs echo in my ears as they're carried on the wind. Ray is gripping his shoulder tightly from behind him. Tyson is just standing there and I don't think it's sunken in for him yet.
That you're not coming back this time.
That at the last moment when we all truly need you, you won't appear with a smirk on your face to save the day. I look up into the cloudy sky as I wonder, "Are you happy now?"
The priest is finishing up his eulogy. The air is filled with the sound of sobs as the sky cries along with us all. I know you thought everyone hated you, but if so why is everyone here? Even people I don't think you bothered to learn the names of turned up.
The entire blading community took your death as a heavy blow. You should hear the fan girls. Everyone is leaving now and I walk up to read your stone. It's nothing special. Your name, birth date and death date. I made sure to have you buried next to your parents; I thought you'd like that.
Almost everyone is gone now and I'm the last one left.
The cemetery is quite beautiful, peaceful even for a place that holds such sadness for so many people. The grass is a lush green and the wind goes through the trees that dot the area and cast some of the stones into shadows.
Kai's is under a fall coloured maple and as the wind blows, the leaves slowly float down to earth. Flowers surround the area, many with cards to accompany them. Small notes like: We'll miss you, gone but not forgotten and rest in peace.
The rain is coming down harder now and I think it's fitting. I sigh as I run a hand through my hair and hesitantly turn to leave. In the end I wind up sitting on one of the benches that are scattered through the cemetery.
Memories fill my mind. Sad ones, vague ones, and some that make me burst into laughter.
"TALA!"
I turn around at the sound of my name to find Bryan waiting for me by the small gate that divides the cemetery and the dirt drive down to the main entrance. He's looking pale and tired but there's a bit of that old spark in his eyes. Maybe the closure had done him some good.
"I'm coming," I call back as I stand and brush off my pants.
"Well, this is it Kai," I whisper to the stone. I now have to face a world without him and suddenly it seems so dark. I pull a familiar blade from my pocket, although the image of a soaring phoenix has disappeared from it.
"I'll miss you."
And with that I head back over to Bryan. So we can start living again, no matter how hard it will be. Because no matter how much you wish for it, the world never stops and life goes on.
Thanks for reading, don't forget to review
Yours Truly,
ForeverFalling.
