"Jarvis. Quarantine the lab. I'm broken. I'm dying. Don't let anyone else in here." Iron Man's hand weakly dropped from the machine he was working on as he felt his life begin to slip away.
"We're all in here already." Hawkeye said with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.
"And all you have is a cold." Black Widow finished.
"Nope. I'm dying. Get out of here, all of you." Tony wasn't even acting this time-he thought he was going to die. Captain America walked towards him and put his hand on Tony's shoulder.
"It's alright-"
"No!" Tony screamed and ran for the door.
"Hey." Banner said and stood in the doorway. Tony bowled over him and continued out the door.
"Did that...really just happen?" Clint asked, pointing at the door.
"I'm afraid so." Captain America replied with a sigh. Everyone eventually followed Iron Man to his room, where they stood outside.
"Tony!" Bruce yelled at the door.
"Get away! I can't fix this!" The Avengers remained silent for a moment.
"I say we leave him." Natasha said with a shrug, her motion quickly being seconded by Clint. Steve looked at them with is Tony's freaking out and he needs our help stare.
"How do you do that? I haven't even done anything and I feel guilty!" The archer exclaimed unhappily.
"Tony, open the-" the Captain's order was interrupted when Bruce leaned next to the console and hot-wired the door. The Avengers rushed into the room before the Iron Man had the chance to send his robot minions for them. Bruce and Clint tackled him quickly before he could make a run for the door.
"No! You're killing yourselves!" Tony yelled dramatically. The two Avengers held him down and Captain America walked toward his sick counterpart.
"Tony, you're fine. You have a flu. Nobody's going to die." He said this cautiously as he slowly stepped toward the man. Stark began to sob quietly and he sagged between the two men holding him, forcing them to bear the brunt of all his weight.
"Gack," Clint exhaled as Tony collapsed. "Lay off the cookies, Stark." Bruce discreetly stepped out from under Tony's arm and left the man in Hawkeye's care.
"What's the point?" Tears glittered in the scientist's eyes. "I'm dying already. I feel myself getting faint. I'm...I'm drifting..." Tony slumped even further down.
"Even Mean Green's been sick before." Bruce said from the side of the bed.
"Nope. Not like this. I'm dying."
"Can someone help me?" Hawkeye grunted. Steve threw Tony onto the bed and strapped him down with Bungee chords Natasha had retrieved.
"Jarvis, track down some cold medicine for Tony and figure out what strain of cold he has."
"Yes, sir." Jarvis answered.
"It's too late!" Tony screamed as they walked away.
An hour later Captain America returned to Stark's room with cold medicine and hot chocolate. He entered the room to find a defeated billionaire waiting for the death throes to claim him. He knew that's what he had found because Tony immediately told him so.
"Drink this." Steve offered Tony the hot chocolate. As Iron Man gulped what he was sure were to be his last taste of any sort of warm liquid, Steve quietly tucked the empty cold medicine packet behind his back so that Stark would be unaware of his "treachery". After a while of silence, Steve looked at his friend.
"You were right, Tony. You're dying. Everyone else is evacuating the building, and I'm going to join them soon. I just need you to rest here until you slip away so that we can safely dispose of your body. You're dying a hero's death." Tony nodded without responding to the captain's words and Steve stood. He turned and saluted before leaving the room. "This country owes you a large debt, Mr. Stark."
Tony eventually drifted away.
Stark emerged from his room three hours later, feeling fine. He ran joyfully toward the spacious living room the Avengers shared, eager to contact the others. He ran through his message to them in his head several times before passing the assassin pair on his way to the nearest phone.
Then Tony stopped and turned around. Clint and Natasha were sitting in the living room playing some obscure form of poker when they were supposed to have evacuated with the others. At first, the hero was touched. Then he saw the lazily disposed-of cold medicine containers sticking out of the garbage can and was confused. Then the realization dawned on him.
Clint looked up when he heard Tony stomping back toward he and Natasha and he patted her hand(which was holding yet another winning card hand)in warning of the genuise's approach.
"He lied to me?" Tony shouted. "The Capsicle, of all people, lied to me?" His tone rose in volume and pitch.
"Nat, I think it's time to bolt." Hawkeye said quietly. Looking into her eyes, he saw the confirmation. Clint stood and walked toward Tony with his hands raised.
"Tony, I just want you to know," Barton saw the Black Widow stealthily retreat toward the door and hold it open for him, "...that it was all Cap's idea."
The assassin dove over the armchair he had recently occupied and somersaulted through the doorway that Romanoff was propping open. As soon as he was on his feet, the two ran.
Fortunately for them, Stark's true target entered the room as they fled, accompanied by Bruce.
"Cap?!" Tony yelled. Steve looked up and turned tail in full retreat.
"It was for your own good!"
Tony huff-ed and dropped into the center of a sofa with his arms crossed sullenly. They were probably all in on the conspiracy against him.
And so they would all pay.
