A/N: Thanks for the reviews! They are always motivating, so again thank you for taking the time to send them in. Enjoy the next chapter.
Chapter 2: "Old Flame"
"No."
I felt my body sink deeper; caving in as my world crumbled before me. My eyes drifted away from Peeta who mirrored the same pained expression except that his pain was the direct result of my sadness, and mine was the harsh reality that I may have lost Gale for good. I couldn't take it; couldn't allow letting my guard down in front of Peeta no matter how many times I have in the past, but the pain was so excruciating, so overwhelming, I did not want him to see me deteriorate into a million pieces. Even though the damage is already done, I did not want to cause him anymore pain as I nudged right pass him and headed out the door.
It was already late in the afternoon and I unexpectedly found myself in front of Haymitch's doorstep, only a few yards away from my home. I knocked a few times, pounding on the door loudly to arouse him from his most likely drunken state. "Haymitch, let me in!" But there was no answer as I tried and tried till I no longer have the energy to do so. "Haymitch!" I cried out loud as I slowly slid down against the door and fell helplessly onto the porch, defeated. I was physically and emotionally drained. There were no more tears left for me to cry; no more fight in me to keep fighting as I sat there wasting my time away thinking about Gale while he could care less about me. But who could blame him? I cut him out of my life, blaming him for my sister's death when he had no knowledge of the Rebels' motives and their plan of attack. Still, I kept him distant and he must have hated me for it.
I needed something to help me forget; forget that Peeta ever mentioned Gale being in town, forget about his involvement in the war that I whole-heartedly believed killed Prim. I needed to forget about Gale altogether just as he has forgotten about me. But what I needed most to help relieve the unrelenting pain is Haymitch to hand over a bottle of liquor so I can drink my sorrows away and forget this day ever happened.
So I sat there for awhile, drowned in my own troubled thoughts as the sun began to slowly set over the horizon. I thought about breaking in to get what I needed, but even I don't have the energy to do so as I immediately dismissed the idea. Perhaps I simply just wanted to talk to Haymitch and let him know about Gale and help me figure out my next move. But what benefit would I get out of it from someone who is always unconscious. I finally got up and reluctantly walked back to my house where Peeta was still waiting for me, concerned and troubled by his own thoughts. "You're still here." I spoke groggily while shutting the door behind me. Peeta got up from the sofa and stood before me with worried eyes.
"I didn't want to leave until you returned home safely."
I smiled a little, grateful to have someone like Peeta who loves me unconditionally, who cares so much about my well-being that nothing else mattered to him. I can't imagine how he must be feeling at the moment; how he was able to manage all this and still love me after all that I put him through. I always wondered why I even deserve him at all. "I'm fine; I just want to be alone right now." I uttered as Peeta slightly opened his mouth to protest, but bit his tongue and decide against it. I followed him out the door when he suddenly turned around to face me. "Do you still love me?" He asked with so much concern and fear in his eyes, it nearly broke my heart, knowing that he must have thought about this for quite some time now.
"Of course I love you," I retorted, feeling slightly hurt that he would even ask me. But with how I've been behaving lately, I couldn't blame him. Peeta has shown me so much love than I have ever given him. "I'm sorry I've been distant with you," I finally spoke after a brief pause. "I'm just a mess and I'm dumping all my misery on you and it's not fair."
"I love you, Katniss." Peeta suddenly cut me off as he took my face in his hands and stared deeply into my eyes. "I don't want you to ever think that you've become a burden to me. You're all I have in this world, and I'm going to help you through this no matter how long it takes."
"I know." I responded with nothing else left for me to say. Neither of us said anything after that as he kissed me and left.
I spent the remainder of the day cleaning the house with so little energy to get my mind off of things. I needed a distraction, but everything I was doing to keep myself busy wasn't enough to get over the hurt that I have created for myself. After putting away the dishes and dusting off shelves that remained untouched since I moved in here a few years ago, I plummeted on the couch and turned on the television for the first time in a long time.
I avoided the television for two reasons. One, it reminded me of the Hunger Games and the horrid images that the Capitol would replay for everyone to watch. Although the rebels have taken control and made sure the revolting events of previous Hunger Games and the rebellion will no longer be viewed, the mental images still lingered in my mind. But the main reason I avoided watching television was to not catch a glimpse of Gale. The first time I saw him on television was a few days after the rebellion ended. He was interviewed, but didn't tune in for what the interview was all about as I immediately turned off the television at the sight of him. This time, I was hoping to see him; if not in person than on television to make sure he is alive and well. But there was nothing of him as I finally settled on an animated show that failed to capture my attention as I slowly drifted to sleep.
I woke up instantly to the sound of someone tapping on my door as I fluttered my eyes open and noticed the television was still on. It was already morning with light seeping through the curtains as another knock instantly alerted my senses. I reluctantly got up and turned off the television as I made my way towards the front door expecting Peeta, even though I told him that I want to be left alone, or Haymitch who rarely drops by unless it was something important like booze he would ask me to pick up from town since he was always too drunk to do so. But I didn't want to see anyone; not even Greasy Sae who often comes in the morning to drop off food or pick up what I caught in the woods the previous day. Then I remembered I still have the squirrels to give her waiting in the backyard.
I finally opened the door, greeted by the smell of fresh air filled with a mix of ocean breeze and burning wood. The sun was immensely bright; almost blinding perhaps because I was still half-asleep, as it briefly distorted my vision. An unfamiliar figure stood before me as I adjusted my eyes to the light to get a better look at the person with my bow and arrow in reach just in case I needed it to defend myself against a possible intruder. But the cool wind that gently brushed against my face suddenly left me frozen; trapped in place with my eyes going wide-eyed as I stood before the last person I expected to see.
Gale.
A/N: Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review! =)
