Thanks to tumblr for the last two questions Tobi asks. Feel free to let me know of any other questions he could or would ask. Any rating. Should also mention Hidan and his mouth show up, so be prepared for cussing.
Tobi walked backwards along the path, facing Deidara. "Tobi has more questions, Senpai!"
"No."
"Why not, Senpai?"
Deidara glared at Tobi. "Let's just get this mission over with," he growled.
Tobi cocked his head at Deidara questioningly. He was unsure why Deidara was grouchier than usual. Deidara remained silent, ignoring the unspoken question. Tobi 'tripped' on some tree roots, falling over backwards in the middle of the path. He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head, but Deidara continued walking, going around his fallen partner. Tobi jumped up and ran to catch back up to Deidara.
"Senpai?"
"WHAT?" Deidara kept walking, glaring ahead as if he could make the very trees explode without hand signs. In truth, he didn't want to blow up the trees, well, okay, he did, but not randomly and there was someone higher on the list.
"What did Tobi do to make Senpai mad? Why doesn't Senpai just blow Tobi up like usual?" he asked, his voice losing some of its volume.
"I don't want to blow you up right now, un." No, he'd rather blow up someone else for once. An ultimately futile effort, but it would make him feel better. But that person was no where nearby.
Tobi perked up a little. "That makes Tobi happy, Senpai!" he squealed, hugging Deidara. Deidara glared at him and Tobi let go, backing off. "Oops, sorry, Senpai. No, wait, Senpai, ple-"
The moment Tobi had hugged him, he'd dug into his clay and formed a quick bomb. He threw it at Tobi's feet and yelled "Katsu!" sending the most annoying ninja in the world skyrocketing, before continuing on his way.
On the way back, Tobi thought up of more questions he could bug Deidara about. He was genuinely curious about the artist's extra mouths, but he had to be careful about how much he pushed. The goal was, after all, to annoy him yes, but in a way that would endear him to the artist. He was used to making long-term plans, patiently waiting for them to come to fruition, and getting to the point where Deidara considered him as someone he wanted to help warm the bed was no different. He just needed time.
It was well after nightfall when he finally caught up to Deidara, who had stopped somewhat off the path and started a fire. He was sitting up in the trees however, looking at the sky and still scowling. Tobi climbed up the trunk, using chakra to stick to the tree. "Senpai's face will freeze!" he said excitedly, waving his hands in Deidara's face. Deidara pushed him and he stopped concentrating on sticking to the tree, falling back to forest floor. "That was mean, Senpai. Tobi was only trying to help. Senpai owes Tobi answers!" he declared, standing up and brushing himself off. "How many mouths does Senpai have?"
"Why do you want to know, un?"
"Because Tobi is curious, Senpai." There was no way in hell he was going to tell the artist his real reasons just yet.
"Four, now go to sleep."
"Four, Senpai? Where is the last one?"
"Go to sleep, un."
He deflated slightly, but did as he was told, lying down far enough away from the fire that he could still feel the heat, but not so close as to catch fire when he 'sprawled'.
Deidara watched Tobi lay down, turning back to stare at the night sky. His thoughts kept going round and round to the conversation he had right before they left. He would have bombed Hidan at that moment if Tobi hadn't come in and bugged him about leaving right then for their mission.
"Deidara-chan"
"Don't call me that, un."
"Or what? You'll fucking blow me up, you little shit? It would be my pleasure." He grinned.
Deidara glared. "What do you want, Hidan?"
"Oh? Just wanted to know if you've become fuck buddies with that dumbass you call a partner yet."
Deidara stared at Hidan, confused.
"Come on, how the fuck can you be that stupid? He gave you a fucking nickname, for Jashin's sake, follows you around like a fucking lovesick puppy, and always comes back after you blow him away..." Hidan started laughing at his own pun.
Deidara was annoyed, why did Hidan think everyone who shared a room also shared beds? They only shared rooms because Kakuzu was too cheap to get them a place that had more room. "So? What does that have to do with anything, un?"
"Wow, you really are fucking clueless. Has he shown you his creepy ass mask collection? Displayed them on the fucking walls, yet? He does that every fucking time he thinks he's got a permanent place. Did you know he has them all made based off that goddamn mask he actually wears. Says it's a hobby. I wonder what kind of a freak face he's hiding? You two are the perfect fucking match. Freakface and Freakhands!"
"Like you have any room to talk, un."
"At least I look like a normal fucking human being."
"SENPAIII!"
"Seeenpaiii. No, stop, that tickles. Senpai..." Tobi rolled over, scratching at his stomach, before using his arm as a pillow and putting his free hand under the side of his face.
Deidara glared at the man, shaping the clay he'd been playing with all night into a small, round bird, roughly the size of a golf ball. He launched it at Tobi, watching as it landed next to the sleeping ninja and work its way under him.
"Senpai," Tobi snorted. "Senpai, no, don't go down any further. Senpaiii, stooop."
"Katsu!"
"SENPAAAIII!" Tobi screamed, suddenly awake from the blast. The tree branches flew downward and then they stopped for a second before flying the opposite direction. He flailed about, managing to turn himself around right before he landed in the remains of the fire. He lay there, not registering for a moment where he was. His chest was getting warm though...
Deidara rolled his eyes as the idiot jumped up, running around the fire screaming "Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!" while he did. He decided he needed to play around with the clay to get better height next time.
"You should be on fire, idiot, you stayed in there long enough."
"Tobi's clothes are fireproof, Senpai. That hurt," he said, taking off his robe and shaking it, before putting it back on. "Why did Senpai do that?"
Deidara winced at the whiny tone. "It's time to go."
"Did Senpai sleep? Senpai should get some sleep."
"I'm fine." He said, jumping down from the tree.
"Did Senpai know Itachi keeps a secret stash of candy and that it recently went missing? Tobi wonders if Senpai fed it to his hands."
"No, now shut up. It's too early for your questions, un."
Tobi skipped beside his partner. "Do Senpai's mouths lick other people when he shakes hands?"
Deidara reached out and smacked Tobi upside the back of his head. "Shut up."
