Chapter 2

Being an outlaw was no bed of roses. There were many factors however that drove individuals into such a rough lifestyle. Some did it for money. Others did it for infamy. And still others did it for the thrill or even the love of carnage. For Rattlesnake Jake, it was a combination of things. Which one he leaned toward depended on the situation.

He hated most of the so called new breed of hunter. They were nothing but a bunch of arrogant big talkers, and they tried the rattlesnake's patience. Most of the time he ignored them and moved on. He had no time for them. No respect for their predecessors. None at all…

But he made damn sure he was respected. Jake made sure they knew he was at the top of hired gun chain. Any who dared to oppose him wound up dead. And so his legend was kept alive.

And still no one knew the real Rattlesnake Jake.

A strong part of him wanted to keep it that way. Why should anyone else know? What made anyone deserving of that forbidden tale?

"No one" he told himself, "Nothin' and no one".

Though he knew it was only a half truth. And the proof of it lied in that small part of him that, despite years of being alone, longed and ached and grieved for something. Something that no amount of infamy, respect, or money could fill. It was a secret he kept so deep he never really said it to himself.

But it was the reason he became sick and angered at the sight of happy little pairs. Why he couldn't stand looking at married couples or young lovers. It angered him because… It hurt.

He envied them with a burning passion. Jake knew what he wanted but had denied himself of it nearly his entire adult life. Sure he had lovers when he was young and foolish. He had left a long, long trail of broken hearts. There had been no shortage of females who had wanted him. But they didn't want him, as himself.

Why did they seek to change him? It perplexed Jake to no end. What did they hope to gain? They had fallen for him,despite of his reputation. Why change that when it was part of what drew them in in the first place? Every one of them turned out the same, and he lost faith in love. He let his heart grow cold and closed. What else could he have done? They didn't truly want him and all it did was hurt...so he immersed himself in his bloody work. Jake built his reputation as a killer and pushed that itch, that subtle longing away.

But in those quiet moments, in the darkness of his cave home, his mind and heart drifted. He found himself gently coiling around a soft blanket, imagining it to be someone he loved. In those moments he remembered he could feel love, gentleness. Just overall contentment.

He sighed and looked over at an old near shattered mirror. "What's up lonely? Seems you're my only friend who wants ta share my pain. Tell me, heartache, what's it gonna take for ya to leave me alone today? Just when I think that you're gone, you're in the mirror lookin back at me...so what's up, lonely?"

Jake couldn't remember where he had heard the song before but damn did it suit...He looked away from the mirror with anger and frustration. That small part of him longed for what he could not have, and in these moments alone the outlaw could not stop the outpour of emotion he suffered.

Loneliness indeed was a bitch. He curled once more around the soft fur blanket and closed his eyes, trying to forget those accursed emotions. There was no sense in longing for something that could never be had.

Author's note: hey all! Thanks for the favorites and follows so far. And thanks Half Blood Black Prince for the review :). Next chapter will be up soon. The song chorus used in this chapter is What's Up Lonely originally by Kelly Clarkson. Sooner or later I'm gonna use full songs I promise. Anyway, please feel free to read and review as I love to hear from you guys. Have a good day ^.^