Chapter Two
*I want to thank you for your reviews and, I have to agree Guest, I was disappointed too. However, looking at it now, that story could have been simply been one longer story only I had another ff going at the time. I think that having two stories going at once was simply burning me out. That being the case, I cut "Troubled Waters" off at a natural spot with the goal of doing a sequel when the other ff was done.
Also I have to say, I have seen many couples with such age differences that have had been good, solid marriages that have lasted for YEARS. Maybe that is why I do not have a problem writing a story with Ben and a younger woman. Now, will these two get together for good? Mmmm Time shall tell.
Chapter Two
Laughter rang throughout the front yard of the Cartwright home, as Deborah and Catlin sat on the porch and visited. After the wonderful supper Hop Sing had wound up cooking by himself, something he'd put his foot down and insisted on, Catlin had suggested she and her friend go outside. Catlin said it was much too nice of an evening not to enjoy the spring air, even if it did have a slight nip to it. However, the truth was Catlin only wanted out because Ben had seemed so distant during supper, as if he would be glad when she was gone. That hurt.
"I still can't believe Hoss and you had in you to simply run off and get married!" Catlin shook her finger at Deborah as she jokingly chastised her. "I was going to plan a big wedding for you." There was laughter in her eyes as she said the words. Catlin was more than aware of her friend's feelings when it came to huge crowds; the woman did not like them in any form or shape.
"Yeah, well, we'll see what happens the day you get married." Deborah laughed. When it came to large parties, Catlin had as much desire for them as she did. However, the moment Deborah said the words she wondered what she'd said so wrong. She watched as her friend stood up, walked over to one of the nearby pillars that sat in front of the Cartwright home and grew quiet, too quiet.
Deborah might have pushed for an explanation, only Ben had opened the front door and joined them on the porch. While he did not know what the women had been talking about, Ben could see that something had upset Catlin. He looked at his daughter-in-law who only shrugged her shoulders and then asked to be excused. Once she had disappeared into the house, he turned his attention to Catlin.
The young, almost black haired, woman who had recently turned twenty-five wore her hair up in a bun towards the back of her head. Her long flowing skirt was a dark red and she wore a simple white blouse with a bit of fine lace that ran in a straight line from top to bottom. Her eyes were just as blue as ever. Ben could see why she continued to turn the heads of the eligible bachelors in the area.
"If Deborah's said something to upset you, she'll be bothered by it all night." Ben stood next to Catlin, though he kept his eyes on the scenery in front of the house; she was doing the same.
Catlin knew Ben was right and she felt horrible for her friend. "She said nothing wrong." Catlin kept her face forward as she added silently to herself, "It's not her fault I have a problem letting go of someone I probably should have never let my heart fall in love with." And she had sincerely fallen in love with Ben over a period of time.
The silence that fell between them was an uneasy one. Off in the distance, a hoot owl and a few crickets start talking. Catlin was telling herself to let go of an impossible dream; Ben was thinking on the words he'd overheard while standing in the Mason's home. "I'm old enough to be your father." Ben repeated the words he'd told her when he'd first been brought home; though, this time they were spoken without the strong conviction that had once been there.
Since Catlin was unaware he'd been listening to Sarah and her, was left amazed at Ben's "perception". "I am fully aware of that." She replied, not moving as the wind started blowing ever so slightly, just enough to give her skirt a tiny push back and forth.
"Adam has a bit of an interest in you." Ben turned to face Catlin, who remained standing looking forward.
Catlin sighed. She couldn't deny she admired Adam's pursuit of knowledge, his integrity and such. Still, every time she looked at him she also saw his father. Wearing the same poker face she had since Ben had first been brought home, Catlin locked eyes with him. As she looked on him, Catlin was shocked to find all her frustration and anger pushing itself to the front and she snapped. "I don't know what made you feel it necessary to tell me something I already know when it comes to your age. I am fully aware Adam has looked my way. I also know he's as serious about me as I am him. Now," she said as she turned towards the house, "if you don't mind, I'll get my shawl. I think it's time I go home. After all, it's like you've been trying to push me to leave all evening to leave." She finished speaking as she turned and headed for the door, leaving one very stunned man behind on the porch.
For a split second Ben had every single memory that held Catlin in them flash before his eyes. As he thought on, Ben began to admit one thing to himself. In spite of what he had said, about his age, a small portion of him also feared that if Matsu ever learned that Catlin and his brother had found him, and saved him, Matsu would decide to come back. If Matsu did come back, Ben was feared the man might still kill him or, since she had stayed, kill Catlin. With that acknowledgment, Ben had to admit, Catlin was right. He had been extremely cool to her.
"Catlin!" Ben called out just as she reached for the doorknob. "Wait!"
For a moment, Catlin thought about ignoring Ben and simply disappearing into the house. The thought only lasted a split second though. After all, the choice would be quite childish and immature. That being the case, she turned around and started back towards Ben, who was hurrying towards her. They met each other in the middle, as her mother would often say.
"What is it?" Catlin asked with her guard still up.
"We have to talk." Ben answered and then added quietly, "Please."
Again, a small part of Catlin wanted to say no, her temper still very close to the surface, only how could she? Turning around, she let Ben lead her back to the front porch. For a few moments no one talked then it was Ben who broke the silence.
Ben confessed all his fears and then added the very fear driving his common sense but in reality his heart. "As long as you're just living in town as a… friend, I can't see Matsu coming after you. But if we're together, if he should come back, you could be in great danger. I couldn't have that on my conscience." Ben took a hold of her shoulders and sighed. "Don't you understand? If we're together, your life could be at stake… I can't lose… It's best that you are safe Catlin."
Catlin felt her heart swell. Ben did care about her, enough to worry that he'd put her in danger if he acted upon the feelings he'd obviously hidden deep inside him. She slid her arms up his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Benjamin Cartwright. I might be younger than you; however, that doesn't mean I can't decide what risks to take and what risks not to take," she said stepping a bit closer, causing Ben's heart to skip a beat, "I'd say you're worth the risk."
"Catlin…" Ben whispered as he pulled her to him and pressed his lips against hers. It felt so right and he let the kiss deepen. He just hoped his sons would understand the change in his stance when it came to courting Catlin.
