Chapter Two
"The hell he is!"
Gabe Cash pushed his way through production assistants and other various film crew, nearly running into a camera dolly, and side stepping it. He's got big hair, but not really a mullet, a loose-fitting white blouse tucked into blue jeans, and what appear to be Owen's gunboots.
"Cut!" yelled a mid-thirties, scruffy-haired pale fellow with a goatee. He angrily leaped from his canvas chair. "Who let this guy back on my set?!"
Cash threw up his hands.
"What can I say?" He swept his arm around at the biker, the cops, the dozens of crew standing around the set amongst lights, tents, shading barriers, camera equipment, trailers, cranes, etc. "You guys are fucking this whole thing up! You're making me look like an idiot!"
A 60ish gentleman in a grey suit hurried over and started pulling Cash away from the director. It's his old boss, Captain Holmes. He looked back over his shoulder.
"I'll keep him off the set, I promise. This is the last time."
And he lead Cash around the corner past the craft services truck as several of the crew wearing headsets and carrying equipment looked on, shaking their heads.
A chef walked by with a tray and Cash turns quickly to take a foil-wrapped cylindrical object, shouting "Hey, burrito!"
Holmes looked on disapprovingly as Cash unwrapped the burrito and took a bite.
"You can't keep interrupting the production like this, Gabe. It doesn't do any good. Listen, once you guys signed off on my book, it was out of your hands. Once the publisher sold the rights to my book, it was out of my hands."
Cash nodded his head mockingly from side to side, with a 'yeah, yeah, yeah' look about him. Holmes continues.
"You're getting plenty of money for this, and then, because you're so bored with your retirement, I get you another paycheck from the studio to be a technical adviser, which is the only reason you're even on location. But after all this, for how long, I'm not sure."
"But this whole thing is a joke, Captain." Cash said, shaking his head. "I mean look at the corny dialogue, that ridiculous gun. And the tires filled with meth? Come on! And I NEVER had a mullet."
Holmes' wheels started turning. Sudden realization washed over his face. "That's it, isn't it? You can't stand this retirement. You want to be back in the action."
"I made a promise to Katherine," he said softly, wearing a faraway look. "After the San Bernadino raid, when Quan had that gun to my head... I mean, I thought it was over. When he decided to go underground, Katherine convinced me that I was spared in order to live a more normal life. Something about God's second chance. I can't go back on my word."
Holmes considered this. "Yes, I suppose. But how much has Katherine gone back on her word? How often does 'Kiki' take to the stage these days?"
Gabe waved this off.
"I told her she could finish out the second leg of the South American tour, just until the new girl gets the hang of it. Then we're both going to take some of this Hollywood money and fly somewhere tropical and just relax. Besides, as much as I'd like to be the only one who gets to see that body of hers, it just doesn't seem fair."
He took a closer look inside the burrito, then flung it into a nearby garbage can.
"Well please keep that in mind, Gabe. The relaxing. We can't have you blowing a gasket around here every time you disagree with something in the movie. These guys know what they're doing, and it's going to be great. Besides, Ray doesn't come down here and start nitpicking over the details, and they've got him wearing a Laurent suit in the courtroom scene."
"Yes, Ray Tango, my old 'partner in crimefighting'. As a producer and financier of this movie, he just cares about how much money it makes. I still have my pride."
He turned and walked away. There was a sheet of paper taped to his back with 'DIVA' scrawled in marker.
Ray Tango pulled up alongside Gabe in a studio golf cart. "Need a ride?"
"Well if it isn't the brother-in-law I never wanted." Cash said as he walked around the front of the cart and hopped in. "Hey, you've got pull around here, will you please put a leash on Fellini? He's got monster truck tires filled with meth. That doesn't even make any sense."
Ray briefly considered. "Well, his last three films registered a total box office of a billion dollars, so, absolutely not, Cash."
"But-" Cash started.
"Save it for the commentary track, Cash. The focus groups love the idea. Meth is the new coke, big guns are back, and everyone likes a hard-assed biker. Besides, if you got to choose the wardrobe, the movie would lose money."
"Speaking of wardrobes, you know they got you wearing a Men's Warehouse suit in the courtroom scene, don't you?"
Tango turned the cart around and headed back to the set. "I think Fellini is about to get a lesson in FUBAR."
"Now you're talking!"
"Cash, how's my sister? She never calls."
"She calls me, buddy. Every night. She's headed into Buenos Aires tomorrow morning, then Santiago for three shows."
A cell phone rand with a MIDI-fied 'Don't Go' by Yazoo. Cash flipped it open. "Hey babe, we were just talking about you."
A familiar Chinese accent responded. "You did not really think that I was through with you."
"Quan?" He shot Ray a panicked look. Ray stopped the cart, leaning into Cash to try and hear the call.
Quan was dressed in a black suit with a white tie. He sat at a large 16th century rosewood Ming Dynasty desk in a dimly lit room. A speakerphone sat at the edge of his desk. A white tiger was chained behind him on a low pedestal, illuminated by an overhead light. The tiger licked its paw and then rested its head upon it.
The left side of Quan's face is a mess of burn scars. He wore a patch over his left eye. "Tell Mr. Tango that his sister is fine... for the time being," he said, standing.
Tango and Cash looked around.
"But in the next five, ten minutes, I may hack off one of her breasts with a kitana!" he shouted.
Katherine was gagged in a chair across the room, her wrists tied to the armrests. She struggled in vain, crying, but otherwise unharmed.
"If you hurt her..." Cash began.
Quan calmly sat back down, removed a gold cigarette case from a drawer, took one out and lit it with a gold butane lighter. "I will hurt her. I will hurt her the way you hurt my beloved Mei Li... with fire."
"Well what's the score, babe?" Cash asked, flippantly.
"You attempt to mask your fear for your wife, but I know that you feel the deepest dread. You know my revenge is justified. You will arrive here just in time to watch her burn."
Katherine shrieks through her gag. A nicely dressed goon is dousing her with kerosene. Tango and Cash can hear the splashing and the sloshing of liquid in the can. The line goes dead. They hold a brief look, then bolt from either side of the cart.
