Well, here's chapter 2…


Lucy smiled as she looked at Harvard for the first time. The moving van with all her stuff in it pulled up behind her convertible.

"All right, Plue! Here we go!" she told her puppy, stepping out.

Every student in the vicinity stopped to stare at the new girl.

"Hey, look!" one chuckled to his friend. "It's Malibu Barbie."

"Don't be nervous!" Lucy said to Plue. "Everyone's going to love you!" She went up to the registrar. "Heartfilia comma Lucy?"

"Ah, here you go." The guy at the table handed her a packet. "Welcome to Harvard."

"Thank you!"


"Alright, I'm Rogue Cheney, and this is the part where we go around the circle and say a bit about ourselves," the third-year told Lucy and two other students.

"Howya doin'?" the girl began. "I'm Ever Green, graduate of Columbia, major in women's studies, emphasis in the history of combat, and last year, I single-handedly organized the march for Lesbians against Drunk Driving."

"I'm Sting Eucliffe," the next student introduced himself. "I'm a graduate of Clemson University, and for the last eighteen months, I've been deworming orphans in Somalia."

"I'm Lucy Heartfilia, and this is Plue Heartfilia. We're both Gemini vegetarians. I'm a graduate of UCLA, president of my sorority, Delta Nu, and last week, I saw Reese Witherspoon in Belk and talked her out of buying a truly hideous angora sweater. Whoever said 'orange is the new pink' is seriously disturbed!" Her fellow students stared at her in confusion.


The next morning, Lucy got ready to go to her first class. She put on a green suit, blue-and-white striped tie, and a pair of glasses.

"All right, Plue. It's my first day as a serious law student. I totally look the part." Plue obviously didn't think so, and covered his head with his paws. "Wish me luck."

As she walked down the hall, she suddenly saw Loke looking at a bulletin board. Hoping to get his attention, Lucy kept walking briskly, "accidentally" bumping his arm.

"Lucy?" he asked, staring at her in shock.

"Oh, Loke! I totally forgot you go here!"

"A-are you here to see me?"

"No, silly! I go here."

"You go where?"

"Harvard. Law school."

"You got into Harvard Law?!"

"What, like it's hard? I'm off to class. See you later!"


Once in Ms. Porlyursica's class, Lucy pulled out her notebook before realizing all her classmates were using laptops. Her cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

"'The law is reason without passion'," Ms. Porlyursica began. "Who made this famous quote? Mr. Eucliffe?"

"A-Aristotle, I think?" he responded.

"You think? Would you be willing to stake your life on it?"

"Yes."

"What about—" she smacked the student in front of him on the top of the head "—his life?"

"I don't know…"

"Let that be a lesson to you all: always be certain in your answers. Oh, and by the way, you were right; it was Aristotle. Now, turn to page 65 from your reading and summarize—" She broke off as she saw Lucy's raised hand. "Yes, Miss Heartfilia?"

"I wasn't aware there was an assignment," Lucy told the teacher.

"Yes… Miss Alberona?" The brunette behind Lucy perked up. "It appears Miss Heartfilia isn't prepared. What should I do?"

"I'd send her out of class until she is prepared," the girl sneered.

"Miss Heartfilia, please go. When you return, you'd best be prepared."


Lucy, offended, gathered her things and went out to the courtyard. She sat down on a bench and blew her bangs out of her eyes, mocking the girl who had gotten her thrown out.

"Excuse me, are you okay?" a guy on the next bench asked.

"Do they just put you on the spot like that all the time?" she replied.

"The professors? Yeah, they tend to do that. It's the Socratic method."

"And if you don't know the answers, they just kick you out?"

"Ah, you've got Porlyursica."

"Yes! Did she do that to you, too?"

"Nah, but she did make me cry once. Not in class, I waited till I was in my room, but… Yeah, she'll just kick you in the- or, you know, wherever. I'm Natsu Dragneel.

"Lucy Heartfilia."

"Who else do you have?"

"I've got Yajima, Makarov, and Porla."

"In Yajima's class, I'd get a seat in the back. He tends to spit a lot when he's talking about business law. In Makarov's, read the footnotes, because that's where he gets a lot of his exam questions from. As for Porla, just speak your mind. He likes people who are opinionated."

"Thanks. You know, I'm really glad I met you."

"Lucy!" Loke called from across the courtyard.

"Oh, gotta go!" She ran up to her ex, and smiled. "Hey, Loke. You will not believe what happened in class. This horrible preppy girl—"

"Hey, Loke." The very same person who'd gotten her kicked out of class put her arm on Loke's shoulder.

"H-hey, Cana! This is Lucy, my ex."

"Oh, that Lucy! You're famous at our club."

"H-how do you two know each other?" Lucy stammered.

"I'm his fiancée." In horror, Lucy realized there was a diamond engagement ring on Cana's hand.

"I'm s-sorry, I just hallucinated. What?"

"Cana was my girlfriend in prep school, and, well, we got back together over the summer."

"Oh, well, I'm happy for you!"


Lucy drove angrily down the road, heavy metal blasting from her speakers. Suddenly, she spotted a nail salon. Making a quick U-turn, she parked in front and ran inside. A blue-haired woman sat at the nail station, reading a magazine and eating a doughnut.

"Can you do my nails?" Lucy panted, sitting across from her. The woman gave her a sympathetic look.

"Rough day?"

"Mm-hmm."

"You want to tell me about it? Come on, Juvia's listening." She began to prep Lucy's nails.

"I came here to Boston hoping to get my boyfriend, Loke, back. I worked so hard: I blew off Greek Week to study for the LSATs, and I hired a Copula to direct my admission video. Now he's engaged to this awful girl, Cana, and I just wish I'd never gone to Harvard!"

"I know how you feel. I'm with my guy six years, then one day, it's 'I met someone new. Move out.'"

"That's awful!"

"Tell me about it. He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures, and I'm a high school dropout with stretch marks and a fat ass. Bora kept the trailer and my precious baby, Rufus." She showed Lucy a picture of an adorable bulldog. "I didn't even get to throw him a birthday party." She put the picture back, then took a breath as she began to paint Lucy's nails. "So what does this Cana have that you don't? Three boobs?"

"She belongs to his stupid country club, and she's got his six carat diamond ring on her bony, unpolished finger!"

"So, what are you waiting for? Steal the bastard back!"


"In my class, there will be four of you that take the internship positions at my law firm," Jose began. "You will be competing in grades and prestige for these positions. Let the bloodbath begin." He turned to Lucy. "Miss Heartfilia, would you rather have a client who committed malum in se or malum prohibitum?"

"I would like neither," Lucy replied.

"And why is that?"

"I'd want a client who's innocent!" The class laughed at her response.

"Dare to dream, Miss Heartfilia. What about you, Miss Alberona?"

"Malum prohibitum." She turned to glance at Lucy before continuing. "Malum prohibitum means the client committed a regulatory infraction rather than a dangerous crime."

"Right. Now, if we take—" He realized Lucy had her hand raised. "Yes, Miss Heartfilia?"

"I changed my mind. I'd take the dangerous one, because I'm not afraid of a challenge." She glared at Cana as she finished.


When she got back to her dorm, Lucy needed to talk to someone. She picked up her phone and called Levy.

"Lucy?" Levy asked.

"Hey," Lucy responded.

"Lucy!" Lisanna yelled happily. "Guess where I am right now?"

"The salon?"

"No! Picking out my wedding dress! Bixlow proposed! Can you believe it?"

"Wow. That's great."

"I know. Keep June 4 open, because you're one of my bridesmaids! Oh, and give Loke our love!"

"Bye." Obviously, her Delta Nu sisters were too happy to talk to their former president. She heard Cana's voice out in the hall.

"116 Liberty. Bring your own Merlot!"

"No way!" Lucy called to the rapidly leaving brunette. Cana turned. "Is someone at this school actually having a party?"

"I don't think you'd be interested. It's a costume party."

"I love costume parties."

"Okay, I guess you can come. 116 Liberty."

"Thanks."


The second Lucy walked through the doors of the house, she knew Cana had punked her. Nobody else was in costume. She stood in the doorway in a Playboy bunny outfit, everyone staring at her. She went to find Cana, who did a spit take before laughing.

"Thanks for inviting me. This party is super fun!" Lucy said sarcastically.

"Nice outfit!"

"Oh, I like yours, too! Only when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated."

"She's awful," Cana whispered to her friend Laki.

"Relax, sweetie. You've got the ring."

"Hey, Loke!" Lucy called. "You having fun?"

"I am now. Why didn't you ever wear this while we were dating?" he asked, looking at her outfit.

"You never asked."

"Which is now the greatest regret of my life. I still can't believe you're here."

"I know! I mean, between classes, how am I supposed to do Porla's internship?"

"You don't honestly think you're going to qualify for one of those spots?"

"What makes you say that? We're in the same law school. We took the same exams. We're taking the same classes."

"You're just not serious enough." She turned and stomped out.


The first place she went was to the computer store. Natsu was behind her.

"Don't ask," she told him, catching him staring at her.

"Wasn't gonna." He pointed to the counter.


Lucy studied her hardest every day. She stopped going to parties and even stopped obsessing over getting Loke back. Her professors were shocked by her sudden change. Where was the bubbly blonde who'd frequently forgotten her assignments? Who was this serious student?


"You can do this, Juvia," Lucy told her friend as they pulled up to a trailer.

"Lucy, I'm scared."

"Listen, don't be. You can do this. Just walk up to him and say what you need to say."

"Okay." Juvia knocked on the door while Lucy hid behind a crate. A rather tall man with a tattoo under his eye answered the door.

"We're in the middle of lunch. What do you want?"

"I wanted to…"

"How many times are you going to come over, begging me to take you back, huh?"

"That's not why I came by."

"Then—"

"Bora Prominent?" Lucy asked. She'd put on a pair of glasses.

"Who wants to know?"

"I'm Lucy Heartfilia, Miss Loxar's attorney. Are you aware of what equal property distribution is?"

"No…"

"You and Miss Loxar had a common law marriage, meaning you lived together for a period of longer than five years. That entitles her to equal division of assets. Since you've retained this residence, it entitles her to full canine property ownership, which she will be enforcing right now."

"What?"

"Tell him, Juvia." He looked at his ex in confusion.

"It means I'm taking the dog, dumbass!"

As soon as they were back in the car, Juvia couldn't stop thanking Lucy.

"I'm never going to be apart from my little Rufus again!"


"In the case of Swinney V. Todd, Mr. Latimer wasn't stalking. He was clearly within his rights to ask for visitation. Without his sperm, the child in question wouldn't exist," Loke told Porla.

"But Mr. Swinney was a one-time sperm donor, and in Mr. Latimer's case, he was also harassing the parents in his quest for visitation."

"Yes, however, the parents wouldn't even let Mr. Latimer see the child. He just wanted to visit."

"Now you're thinking like a lawyer." Lucy raised her hand. "Miss Heartfilia?"

"Mr. Regulus makes an excellent point," Lucy began. "But did the defendant keep a log of every sperm donation made throughout his life."

"Interesting. Why do you ask?"

"Because, unless he contacted every one-night stand to find out if a child resulted from those unions, he has no parental claim over this child whatsoever."

"I see your point."

"And, by Mr. Regulus's standards, every emission in which the sperm was clearly not seeking an egg could be termed reckless abandonment."

"Miss Heartfilia, you just won your case."


At the end of class, Lucy was stopped by the professor.

"Stellar work, Miss Heartfilia. I believe you're applying for my internship. Do you have a resume?"

"Oh, right here!" She handed him a stack of pink paper. "Thanks in advance for considering me."

As she left, Natsu came up.

"She has potential," he pointed out. "Here's the Strauss file."


"What's going on?" Lucy asked Sting, seeing the crowd by the bulletin board.

"Porla's firm is doing a murder case. His caseload's so big; he's taking on first year interns!"

"He picked them already?"

"Loke, we got it!" Cana kissed him.

"I did, too," Ever sighed happily.

"Which leaves one space for…" Sting uttered. Lucy saw the list, then ran up to Loke and Cana.

"ME!" She smiled smugly. "Hey, Loke, remember those four amazing hours we spent in the hot tub after winter formal? This is so much better than that!"

"Four hours?" Cana inquired, an angry expression on her face. Loke gulped. Lucy was a better lawyer than he'd thought.


Katie: And there's chapter 2! In the movie, Elle meets Cameron Diaz, not Reese Witherspoon. I used Reese because that's who plays Elle in the movie! Next time, we'll be heading to Lucy's actual internship. This story will only have four chapters: "The Road to Harvard", "The Trouble with an Ex", "The Strauss Trial", and "Epilogue". Oops! Spoiler alert!

Lucy: This is pretty good.

Gray: When do I come in?

Katie: Next chapter. Don't worry, your scene is important. Read, review, so long and thanks for all the fish!