Santa's Naughty List
Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. We did have a request asking about the elves' uniforms. So in this chapter, you will get find out all about Elvin fashion. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Elvin Biology: Sasuke's species of Elf is human-sized. They also have pointed ears and toes.
Chapter 2
The next day, Naruto was one very frustrated Claus! His father had decided to give him a more thorough tour of the workshop. That meant that he wouldn't have a chance to put his Mistletoe Plan into fruition.
Naruto took a moment to look around as Minato was giving him a tour. The elves essentially had two uniforms. One for female elves and one for male elves. The coloration scheme might very a bit, but not the colors themselves. Mostly red, green, and white. Though there was the occasional black belt that could be seen here and there.
"This is where the dolls are made. In the old days, it was mostly rag dolls. As you can see, kids are a bit more picky these days." Minato says and Naruto nods in agreement.
The female elves wore a small Santa Hat with a long sleeved dress that ended at their knees. The hats and dresses came in their choice of red or green. There was also white trimming on the hat, the sleeves, and at the bottom of their dress. Underneath that they wore special horizontally stripped stockings that were usually red and green. They were magically enhanced to help keep the female elves warm despite wearing a skirt. Finally, they had flat pointy toed shoes. Generally, the females wore red, black, or white belt and added either bells or cotton balls onto the end of their shoes.
"Yeah. Some of these dolls are pretty fancy." Naruto replies.
Naruto then turns his attention to one of the male elves. Their uniform was a little different. Like the female elves, they had some leeway in the color scheme. Though the colors were always the same. Red, green, white, and black.
Konohamaru, the elf that Naruto was currently observing, wore the same coloration scheme as Sasuke. He wore a light green hat nightcap hat that was long in the back and had on short sleeved red shirt. Underneath the sleeves were modified stockings that were red and white with horizontal stripes. Most of the male elves also wore a black belt. Underneath the red shirt, Konohamaru had on a pair of light green pants and soft red pointy toed shoes.
"Yes. Naruto, is there a reason why you are staring at Konohamaru's shoes?" Minato chuckles.
"Oh not really. I was just wondering why the female elves usually decorate their shoes, but most of the male elves don't." He admits.
Santa tilts his head to the side. It was as if he had never really pondered that before. Why? Well because it hadn't occurred to him to do so.
"I'm not sure. I think it's for the same reason why some women wear makeup and most men don't." He says with a shrug.
Naruto seems to accept that answer at face value. It made sense to him. That and he had far more interesting things to think about. Like the fact that Sasuke's ass looked really great in the same uniform that Konohamaru was now wearing.
Actually, Naruto was pretty sure that Sasuke's ass could make anything look sexy. You could probably throw a potato sack over him and the elf would still radiate sex appeal. That trait seemed to run in his family though. He couldn't recall bumping into one Uchiha who could be considered unattractive. That family had great genes.
"Yeah. Probably. So what's next?" Naruto asks brightly.
"Well I figure we can go check on inventory next." Minato says and Naruto nods, following Santa towards the backroom.
Sasuke was looking over some charts in the backroom. Occasionally, he would cross something off that was complete. Sadly, he wasn't able to check as much as he wanted. Damn Karin and Suigetsu.
"Good morning, Sasuke. How is everything going?" Minato asks kindly.
"Not as well as I would like it to. You know how the West and Eastern ends always lag behind until the last minute. We'll make it work though. We always do." Sasuke says, not looking up yet as he continues scanning the pages on his clipboard.
"Well I'm sure that you'll figure it out. Why don't you let Naruto have a look at your clipboard there? It'll be good for him to see how we keep track of everything." Minato suggests.
Sasuke blinks. That's when he looks up and saw that Santa wasn't alone. Naruto was with him. Damn. He was never going to be able to focus now. Those baby blue eyes were just so fucking distracting.
"Sure. Well you see the four sectors have different colored pages. The South has red pages. West is green. East is blue. North is white. The first number at the top is the quota for the month. Underneath that is what the different sectors have currently produced. At the very bottom is the difference between those numbers. You can see the various categories laid out on the page. For example, laptops. The quota is 10 million. Currently, we've built 8 million. So we are 2 million behind." Sasuke explains.
"Oh. I see. Well that seems easy enough to understand and I've never really been that good at math." Naruto tells him.
Sasuke nods. He tries to hide his smirk as he thought of some of the ways he could help improve the blonde's math skills. They could start by subtracting their clothes, add a nice romantic fireplace into the mix, and see if the number of lustful moans multiplied.
"Don't worry about that. We have over 200,000 elves that live in the North Pole. There will always be some who can do the number crunching, if necessary. You just have to be able to read the charts. Since you can do that, you're good." Sasuke assures him.
"Yeah. I'm good then." Naruto says with a smile.
Just then a beautiful looking man walked in. He had long dark hair and chestnut brown doe eyes. His clothing consisted of long pale blue robes with a hood and trimming made up of some kind of white fur. He also was carrying a large wooden staff in his left hand.
"Haku, what brings you here?" Minato asks.
"I'm not certain if it is anything to be concerned about, but I felt the strangest sensation when I was out spreading frost. The winds are different now. Darker. Be careful, Santa." He says.
Naruto knew Haku of course. He was gifted with winter powers. Snow, ice, frost, hail, and the like were all his to command. Well not completely his, Haku's range was somewhat limited. He was nowhere near as powerful as Mother Nature for example.
"That does sound ominous. Never fear though. I've certainly flown through bad weather before. While you are here, would you care some milk and cookies? You don't mind, if I show our guest around, do you Naruto? I'm sure that Sasuke can handle explaining about inventory to you." Minato asks.
"I would love some milk and cookies. Mrs. Claus really does make the best cookies and Mikoto's culinary works are quite splendid as well." Haku says with a serene smile.
Did Naruto mind? Hell no! It looked like Christmas had come early. He was going to get more alone time with Sasuke. Maybe he could break out that Mistletoe, after all!
"No. It's fine. I mean it would look very bad, if we were rude to our guests." The blonde says somberly.
"That's true. I'll see you later, my son. Sasuke, keep up the good work." Minato says as he heads off with Haku.
"Alright. Well you know how to read the chart. So that's a good start." Sasuke says with a smile.
Meanwhile Kushina and Mikoto were in one of the kitchens. Considering how large the population at the North Pole was, there were many kitchens. This was considered the Grand Kitchen though. It was the one that gave all the marching orders to the others.
"I don't know why you won't tell Santa who Naruto likes." Mikoto giggles quietly as she takes her pies out of the oven.
Pumpkin pie. She was cooking quite a few of them. Thanksgiving was just around the corner and Minato had originally been American. So he still celebrated the holiday. That and most elves enjoyed pumpkin pie as much as the next person.
"It's more fun this way. Now, he has to guess or butter me up." The red head replies cheerfully.
Mikoto shakes her head in amusement. Sometimes Kushina did flirt with getting onto the Naughty List. She was a good person, but Mrs. Claus could be rather mischievous.
"Well I'm certain that will prove most entertaining. Can you pass me the whip cream?" The dark beauty inquires.
"Of course." Kushina says as she hands her the whip cream to place on her delicious pies.
"I have always wondered. How did you and Santa meet anyway?" The other woman asks.
Kushina smiles as she considers how to answer that. It was a very long story. One that she never got tired of telling.
"Well it all started when I was a child. I must have been about eight or nine at most." The red head begins.
Kushina was a child. It was December and everyone was excited for Winter Break. Christmas was coming. That meant presents and no school!
"Did you write your letter to Santa?" Her best friend asked.
"What? No. That's for babies. Santa isn't real. It's just something the adults tell us to make us behave." The red head replied.
That's when the teacher told them to settle down. There was a new student. He was an exchange student from Netherlands. Well that was very exciting because most of the children in the class had never even heard of the Netherlands.
Kushina looked up and saw the bluest eyes that she had ever seen. He was tall for a boy his age and had golden hair. He also had a sun kissed tan. He was very…well cheerful.
"That's weird. Most new kids are more nervous." She whispered to her friend.
"Yeah. It is kinda weird. We should go say hi." The other girl said and they did exactly that.
A few weeks later, Kushina realized that Minato was staying in the same neighborhood she did. How did she know this? Well because the idiot had decided to throw a snowball at her window to get her attention.
"Hey!" The blonde said as he waved to her merrily.
"What'd you do that for?!" She asked.
"Well I just wanted to get your attention. I was talking to your friend and she said you don't believe in Santa. Is that true?" The boy inquired.
Kushina raised an eyebrow. He was asking around about her? What was he doing that for? It was very sneaky! And why did he care whether or not she believed in Santa Claus anyway?!
"Of course, I don't believe in Santa. That's kids' stuff." She told him.
"Someone who smiles like you, should believe in Santa. I'll prove that he exists." He told her.
At this point, Kushina wasn't sure if he was trying to play some sort of prank or if he was just really stupid. Either way, she didn't have anything better to do. So she nods her head.
"Alright then. Prove me wrong. Prove to me, that Santa is real." The red head ordered him.
Minato smiled and took her hand. Kushina's eyes widened when they were suddenly surrounded by wind and beautiful snowflakes. She felt a strange sensation like she was being made lighter and when she opened her eyes again, they were somewhere else entirely. Somewhere very cold.
"Where are we?" She asked in awe.
"The North Pole. This is my home. See that big building? That's headquarters and it looks like the reindeer are performing a test run." He informed her as he pointed up towards the sky.
Kushina gasped as she saw the reindeer streaking by the Full Moon. Behind them was a sleigh with a man on it. Santa's Reindeer?! It couldn't be, could it?
"Still think that Santa isn't real?" Minato asked kindly.
Minato's eyes widen when he saw that Kushina was about to fall over. He quickly catches her and holds the now unconscious girl protectively. Maybe he should have asked her to sit down first.
"That does sound like Minato." Mikoto muses.
"Yes. He got on the Naughty List that year for revealing the North Pole's location to a human. We became best friends after that though. Overtime, it turned into more. He's just so sweet. Irresistible really. I never had any doubts after that day, that he was the one for me." The red head tells her.
The elf nods her head in understanding. She felt the same way about her husband. Though Fugaku was much more practical than Minato. She supposed that was only to be expected really. Minato was Santa. He was almost required to be eccentric.
"That's very romantic." Mikoto says and Kushina nods in agreement.
Meanwhile Gaara was on his lunch break. Jugo just happened to be in the same break room as him. There were hundreds of them scattered around the North Pole. There had to be because there were so many elves.
"Good afternoon, Gaara." Jugo greets him.
"Good afternoon, Jugo. Have you used a Christmas Miracle yet to make Suigetsu and Karin get along?" Gaara asks as he sips his milk.
Jugo chuckles. It was a running joke between them. He had to admit there were times when he had been severely tempted to do that very thing. He knew it was wrong though. Manipulating people like that would definitely get him on the Naughty List.
"I've thought about it. Though I think even Christmas Miracles have their limits." He replies.
"That's true. That would probably take all the Christmas Magic that we have for them to get along and even then, I'm not entirely sure it would work." The red head states.
Jugo couldn't disagree with that. Quite honestly, he wished that Suigetsu and Karin would just act on their feelings. That would make everyone's lives so much easier.
"Naruto seemed rather perky earlier. Is he going to get up to some mischief?" Jugo asks.
"It's Naruto. He's always up to some mischief. He wouldn't be Naruto, if he wasn't." Gaara replies evasively.
He liked Jugo, but he wouldn't betray his friend's confidence like that. As crazy as Naruto's plan was, he was doing it out of love. Gaara wouldn't give away the cheerful blonde's secrets that easily.
"Ah. I suppose that's true. Think we'll make quota this year?" The orange haired man asks.
"I know we'll make quota this year. We always do. Well at least we have for the last thirty-two years." Gaara says.
At that same moment, Sasuke was taking Naruto to one of the storage rooms. It was important that the blonde knew where everything was. He was going to be the next Santa Claus, after all.
"This is where we keep our Christmas Tree decorations." Sasuke explains.
"Neat. Damn. That's a lot of stuff." Naruto says as he pulls out one of the boxes that was filled with beautiful tinsel and that caused an avalanche.
CRASH! Thousands of Christmas items fell on the elf and Naruto. Naruto's eyes widen in horror when he saw that Sasuke was completely buried underneath them.
"Northern Lights! I'm so sorry, Sasuke! Are you okay?" Naruto calls out to him anxiously as he rushes to shove the decorations off of his friend.
"Yeah. I think so. A few bruises most likely, but nothing that won't heal. Are you alright?" Sasuke says as he takes the hand Naruto offered him.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Damn. I'm so sorry. I really shouldn't have done that. Shit. This is going to take forever to get sorted again." Naruto says.
Sasuke shakes his head. He snaps his fingers and the objects start floating in the hair. All of them began whizzing into their assigned spots.
Naruto blinks and stares in awe. Damn. It looked like one of Sasuke's gifts was telekinesis. All elves had three magical gifts. Very rarely did you find two elves that shared all three gifts in common. He wondered what the elves's other two gifts were.
"It's fine. I think one of the main reasons that Santa was willing to take a chance on me is because I could do things like that. It helps to prevent major setbacks." Sasuke informs him with a shrug.
"Well it is a pretty cool ability. What are your other two gifts?" Naruto asks excitedly.
Sasuke smirks. Naruto didn't actually think that he was going to tell him that, did he? Elves tried to keep their abilities a secret as long as they could, if they didn't have to tell. The element of surprise was highly valued in Elfish culture.
"I can't tell you that. That would take all the fun out of it. If you happen to guess though, I'd tell you. Otherwise, you aren't going to find that out until you are Santa." The raven haired elf informs him.
"Awe man. That sucks. Wait. You're going to tell me later on? When I become Santa, you'll tell me?" Naruto asks hopefully.
Sasuke chuckles. The handsome blonde looked like a puppy begging for a treat. Northern Lights help him, it was adorable.
"Yes, I will tell you then. You'll be Santa. That's one of the perks of being Santa. You'll be able to access the library. The library keeps records of that sort of thing. When an elf is born, their abilities are recorded in the archives. Only Santa and Mrs. Claus can access those SPECIFIC records though." The Sharingan elf explains.
"Oh wow. Really? That's cool." Naruto says, practically giddy at this knowledge.
"Mhm. Santa and Mrs. Claus kinda have to know that sort of information. Otherwise, it'd be very difficult to tell who would do best in which section." Sasuke reasons.
"Yeah. When you put it like that, I guess it makes a lot of sense. I really am sorry about that though. I didn't mean to make everything fall on you." The future Santa says.
Sasuke nods in understanding. He knew that. Of course, he knew that. Naruto didn't have a single malicious bone in his body. That was just another reason why he was going to make such a great Santa.
"It's alright. It was just an accident. No harm done." The other man assures him.
Unbeknownst to Naruto and Sasuke, they were being watched. Madara was standing outside the window. He was still invisible to even their eyes. That was his greatest advantage really.
Hmm. It looked like Santa's son was getting ready to take the reigns. Interesting. That could be potentially useful. Kaguya would be very interested in finding that out.
"I almost feel sorry for them." He mutters.
They were so young. The dark haired elf and Santa's son were the picture of youth. He had been only a century or so older than they likely were when everything changed.
That was when Izuna had died. Madara went into a rage. The only thing that had stopped him from destroying everything was Kaguya freezing him. Since that horrible time, he had spent much of the past few millennia frozen. He was only released occasionally to do that witch's bidding.
"She might be Mother Nature, but she's still a witch." Madara snarls in disgust.
Oh how he loathed that woman. The woman who had kept him as her prisoner for who knows how many centuries? She should have killed him when he launched into a grief-stricken rage. That would have been kind.
Mother nature was beautiful and miraculous, but she could also be quite cruel when she wanted to be. There was a reason why many baby animals didn't survive in the wild to adulthood, after all. There was a reason why people could die from exposure.
"Bipolar. Humans would call her bipolar." The wild haired being growls to himself.
It was almost frightening. The way her moods could shift so suddenly. One minute, she was kind and gentle. The next minute, she was the most spiteful bitch that he had ever met. That was just who Kaguya was.
He knew that she couldn't be killed. To kill her, would mean that everyone else would die. Though she could certainly be defeated. One day, he would break freak of her spell and return the suffering she had thrust upon him, tenfold.
"They're in love." He muses to himself as he watches the way they interacted with each other.
He had seen that look in the blonde's eyes before. Once upon a time, Madara was sure that the very same look had adorned his own face. That was a very long time ago.
The elf that he had loved was likely long dead. It was Kaguya's magic that kept him alive, despite his age. Even by Elfish standards, he should have passed on a long time ago.
"She can't even allow me the sweet embrace of death. Spiteful bitch." He mutters under his breath.
He wasn't suicidal, but he would have welcomed death if it greeted him. Perhaps then, he would be reunited with not only the elf he loved, but also his brother. How he missed them both.
Madara felt the weight of every year he had endured heavily upon his chest. If only Izuna hadn't died. If only he hadn't lost control. There so many ifs. He supposed it didn't matter. No amount of wondering about what might have happened, would change what did happen.
"Perhaps there is a way that she can be stopped. I just have to find it." He muses.
Maybe he could somehow use his fellow elves. He wasn't sure how exactly, but there were so many of them. Clearly, they could be an asset, if utilized properly and he intended to do just that.
Kaguya's reign of terror was almost at an end. He would find out a way to free himself from her wicked spell. Then he would make her suffer.
Idly, he muses that such thoughts definitely merited him a place on the Naughty List. He didn't care though. All he cared about was gaining his freedom and his revenge. That was all he had left. Kaguya owed him that much and he would ensure that she paid him what he was owed.
