SiriusRemus
Loony for Moony
Disclaimer: credit to JK Rowling.
--
Given that the marauders were the four brightest of students in the school, what with their ingenious plans and general traits of trade; Sirius with his ability to remember things when he's not listening, James with his wondrous skill to pass with flying colours in anything he found interesting (of course, that meant he failed in everything else) Remus' unnatural ability to absorb everything in every book he ever read, and Peter's loyal ness to listen to everything his clever friends told him and remember it, they were pretty good at being smart and witty.
"Remus isn't here, I have no one to back up what I say," Peter said flatly. "You two will brush everything off- and don't deny it, Padfoot."
"I vote we rename Moons, I don't want him over hearing us and guessing what we're up to. That would be tragic," Sirius said, pretending to ignore Peter.
James wasn't so mean. "Wormy, we won't brush everything off. We didn't when we were getting Lily-flower to fall for me-"
"We still are."
The two brown haired boys glared at Sirius. "Shut up Padfoot and stop being so crabby."
He grumbled something which sounded suspiciously like 'bitchy ass-wipes'.
"I guess…but, you know, Moo-he isn't here to correct what I say and stuff."
Sirius threw an arm round his friend, leaning on the boy. "Peter, you have too little doubt in yourself. Do you know why he's the only one who ever listens to you?"
Peter shook his head.
"Because you're so quiet. If you talk loud enough, then we'll hear you," the pureblood grinned. "Like Snivellus, the only reason we notice him is because his nose is so loud!"
The smaller boy grinned a little.
James caught on. "It's not just loud, Sirius, it's deafening! I swear, one day not only will it blind me with its ugliness, it will also impale my eardrums!"
Peter was laughing now, the baby-round face painted with happiness, and the slightly cubby form shaking with his stifling giggles. Sirius ran a hand through the messy sand-blond hair.
"Be loud!"
"Like Snivlles! Well, not exactly like him, but you get the point."
Remus then walked in at that point. "I could hear you from the bottom of the stairs," he commented, nose deep in a book. "Why are you talking about how loud Snivellus is?"
"His nose, Remmie. How loud and ugly his nose is."
Remus went over to their circle and sat down next to Peter and James, opposite Sirius. "Whatever they say, Peter, don't fall for it. They're sly, evil and troublesome." His book was now abandoned at his side.
"Slytherins?" James asked.
"No, you two," Remus stated dryly, lips twitching when Peter chuckled again. The two fair haired boys had more in common than everyone else knew; they both knew how it felt to be shunned by one's peers. Some may argue Sirius is shunned by his family, but Sirius wants to be. Sirius seeks that disownment. After the first few times, he decided it was better. Remus and Peter just try harder to make friends.
"Anyway," he continued. "You haven't answered me, why are you talking about Snivellus' nose. His hair is worse."
"We were just telling Wormtail that he had a lack of confidence, and it needed boosting, right guys?" Sirius asked. He seemed the only one who could ever lie to Remus' face and not get caught.
Peter figured it was because he'd hid his crush so long it came naturally.
"Wormtail wouldn't have a lack of confidence if you guys didn't brush him off."
"Yeah, but if he was louder he would get our attention, and that would be a start. Like how Snivellus' nose first got our attention."
"It also had something to do with the fact you said something along the lines of 'ew, he reminds me of my mother' I believe."
"Unlike you, of course."
"Naturally."
James and Peter looked at each other knowingly as the other two started their bantering. It wasn't really bantering, more like a pathetic attempt to try not to…flirt. Especially where people could see them.
"Well, I have to go. You know, ask the captain when the next Quidditch practise is. I'll make sure to pass the message on Pads, don't worry!"
"Yeah, I need to ask Frank about potions, he said he'd help me out with something," Peter sighed. "I hate the damn subject."
Sirius spluttered dumbly, while Remus nodded and waved. "See you, good look with potions."
The two grinned at Sirius. "Good luck with that thing, Padfoot!" James chimed with a wink.
"Yeah, I hope it goes well."
And they were gone. Just like that. And Padfoot and Moony were left in the room. Alone. By themselves. In a bedroom. With beds and that stash of lube Sirius knew Jeremy kept in his bedside table.
"What thing?"
"Err…the…umm…thing, you know."
"No, I don't."
"Course you do, I told you all the other Wednesday at breakfast."
"I wasn't at breakfast on Wednesday, I had period pains."
Sirius grinned at the mention of Remus' furry problem. "Ah, I see."
Remus smiled softly. "Lots of blood, you know? Don't know how all those girls can do it every month."
"Must be built of tough stuff."
"Very tough."
"All that PMS too, man that stuff gets tiring. Especially when you're on the receiving end."
A scarred hand whipped Sirius' head. "Retard. You just can't handle the anger of a woman."
Sirius laughed hard at the thought of a female Remus.
Remus giggled with him.
That was a thing Sirius liked about his werewolf; he didn't bark with laughter like Peter, or chuckle like James- which could be unnerving sometimes. He giggled, not like a girl, like a young teen boy whose voice hadn't yet cracked. They said Sirius with his longish soft hair and brilliant grey-blue eyes was feminine, a lanky yet strong frame and delicate hands. But he didn't have that soft smile, or that fragile looking face, or that cute giggle where his head dipped and…
"Pads, this is the second time this week you've done that," Remus said, amusement laced in his voice. "Is there something fun about pressing our foreheads together?"
Sirius flustered and pulled back. "Sorry."
"I-I don't mind, you just look kind of out of it when you do. You sort of fall forward."
The Black took this moment to his advantage; to fool Remus. "Oh, but I just keep getting lost in your eyes!" he said dramatically, hands on his chest and looking up at the shorter boy.
Amber eyes rolled, green and yellow sparks in them flashing. "Keep the cheesy romance lines for the people who want them, Pads."
Sirius flung himself across what was once a circle and tackled Remus to the ground, lying against him with a grin, elbows propping his head up. Remus couldn't help the wide smile that betrayed his face. "Comfy?"
"Very, you have no idea what a good pillow you are. In fact, you're a good mattress too."
The werewolf giggled again, not even bothering to try get up. His legs were parted a little, and his hands were by his head. "Oh gee, thanks. Because my mission in life is secretly to become a bed for Padfoots."
"I knew it!"
Then the door opened. The two looked up to see Frank Longbottom entering the room, smiling warmly and walking over to his bed as if this was the most genuine thing in the world. Considering it happened almost everyday, it probably was by now.
"Hey, you haven't seen Peter, have you?" Frank asked, running a hand through his brown hair, picking up a hair tie from his night stand. "I was meant to be helping him with potions."
Sirius suddenly was very, very angry. "He went looking for you."
Frank realized he'd done something wrong by giving away that Peter was not with him. "Oh, he must've got caught up in something. I was at the Charms room- ah, oops!"
Remus took this chance to flip his friend over and gain dominance. A sign that the Padfoot was under control.
"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find him soon," Remus reassured. Frank nodded his thanks and started to leave as Remus looked down at Sirius.
"Remember the first time Frank walked in on you straddling me?" Sirius teased, causing the other boy to blush. "He ran down to James and said 'hurry James! I think your best friends are going to have sex on your bed!' it was brilliant."
"Yeah, minus the part where the rest of the Gryffindors thought we were actually having sex around the beds for about a month."
"'Oh, Remus, Sirius, don't worry, we accept you. We won't tell anyone if you don't want us to…just please stay clear of my bed, okay?'."
Remus grinned. "I thought that girl you were going out with at the time was going to murder me for 'stealing you away to the gay-side'. I told her you were the straightest man I knew."
And then the black haired boy felt utterly guilty. He was, technically, taking advantage of his best friend's ignorance. James and Peter knew why shouldn't Remus? Especially when Remus was the one who he had the most physical relationship with.
That came out wrong.
"Remmie, you know you were wrong, right?"
The boy blinked. Him? Wrong?
"Never!"
Sirius fumed a little, trying to hide his smile by pouting. "I'm going to tell you an important secret!"
"I believe when I admitted I was a werewolf to you, the reaction was 'so, do you go around stalking little red riding hoods, I believe Evans is a good target'."
"I was shocked, ok? I make serious situations funny when I'm nervous! You don't you…normally make the serious situation."
The boy rolled his eyes. "Continue, what's the big secret."
"There's this person…"
Remus couldn't help but peel into a giggling fit.
"Moony!" Sirius whined. "Focus!"
"I'm sorry Pads, really. But…" the boy put on a pouting face. "'There's this person…' is just…"
Sirius started to laugh too. Partly because hearing someone whine that line was just hilarious, and partly because seeing Remus pout like that at him was too cute.
"Anyway, there's this person," Remus repeated. "In fact, let me rephrase that to what you really meant: there's this boy."
"Remmie! You can't pretend to be completely shocked when you tell me what it is!"
"I'm sorry, but really. After the 'you were wrong' and 'this person', it was a bit too obvious."
Sirius went back to pouting.
"So anyway, there's this boy. Which boy?"
"Ah, I can't tell you that can I?" Sirius said. Remus rolled off him and by his side, stomach pressed against the floor and a hand resting on his cheek.
"That's so mean Pads. You can't tell me there's a boy and not tell me who it is."
Sirius curled into a ball, hugging his knees and grinning. "You have to guess."
"Guess?"
"Wormtail did."
"Wormtail knows?! I feel so betrayed."
"He guessed, Remmie. And you're not aloud to go and ask him who it is."
Remus raised a brow, but mirth sparkled in his eyes at the idea of the game. Sirius knew he loved puzzles. "Ok, give me the first clue then!"
"Well…" Sirius drawled, feeling completely and utterly like a girl talking to her bff about a boy. "He's really smart."
Remus was about to reply with something to accompany his eye roll when the door opened.
James entered. "What are you two girlies talking about?"
"Boys," Remus informed him. "Really smart boys from what I hear. And undoubtedly really hot boys knowing Padfoot."
The other two boys grinned, because Remus just unknowingly called himself hot. And coming from Mr. Remus John Lupin, who was unbelievably modest and self-conscious, this was an achievement.
"Oh yes," Sirius agreed. "Very, very hot. Immensely sexy, even more than me."
James laughed at Remus' shocked face. "I thought there was nothing sexier than a Padfoot!" Remus teased.
"Only one this is sexier than a Padfoot. Though I totally think it's a Lily Evans, said Padfoot disagrees"
"Said Padfoot disagrees strongly!"
James sat down in front of the two. "Who does Remus think is sexier than a Padfoot?"
The boy flustered, ducking his head. "I don't know."
"Of course you know! Tell me!"
Sirius grinned and wrapped an arm around Remus' shoulder. "Remus doesn't know because he knows that no one is sexier than a Padfoot, other than the one Mr. Padfoot likes."
"Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Moony can talk for himself."
"Mr. Padfoot thinks he can't, so there."
There was another giggle. "Mr. Moony thinks nothing's sexier than a Padfoot."
James opened his mouth to say something, paused, and thought against it.
"Mr. Moony would also like to be let go, because he's hungry and it's almost dinner time."
"Mr. Prongs and Mr. Padfoot shall catch the hungry Messer up later," the bespectacled boy said. Remus nodded and walked off, book in hand.
James turned to his best friend. "Mr. Moony and Mr. Padfoot were totally flirting earlier when we left, were they not?"
"No, we were reconciling…if that's what you call it."
"About what exactly?"
Sirius felt his face heat up. "About stuff."
James started to smirk, leaning forward. "What stuff?"
"Frank came in, see," Sirius started, hoping James would notice this was going to be a 'let's beat round the bush' and give up.
He didn't.
"Go on…"
"And we were just thinking: remember the first time Frank came in the room when Remus and I were fighting on your bed, and Remus was winning, and Frank ran down stairs to get you?"
James grinned. "Because you were going to 'wet' my bed?"
"Shut up Prongsie."
"I have to say though, that was one of the scariest moments of my life; being told you two were at it on my bed."
"I know- you made me swap beds with you for a week."
"Oh, and Frank come in here looking for Wormtail. So seeing as Wormtail didn't do what he was going to do, where did you run off to?"
James flashed a toothy grin. "We went to the kitchens, they were making apple crumble and we didn't want to miss out."
"You suck Prongs. You suck big time."
"Hey, you got your alone time with Moony-"
"I told you, with his super-hearing abilities, I don't want us calling him that!"
James sighed. "Fine, what do you want to call him?"
"I don't know. Not anything that he'll be able to guess it's him by."
Brown eyes rolled. "What, you want us to call him 'his royal sexiness' then, that way he'll know who we're talking about, but not know it's him."
"Brilliant idea!"
"I was joking. You might think Remus is the reincarnation of all things gorgeous, but I don't. I think its Lily-flower."
Sirius scoffed and stood, walking to his bed and picking up a brown hair tie, running his hands through his midnight locks a few times before tying it back. There was still plenty of hair in his face somehow. He flicked it, glancing at himself in the mirror, and then motioned to the door.
"Dinner awaits."
--
"Why hello there, Moony!" James exclaimed, planting himself in the seat next to Remus. The light brown hair was mused from a scarred hand running through it so much, and a single scar ran along the raw line. In the setting sun pouring through the windows, you could clearly see the ginger sparks in Remus' hair.
"Did you find out who Padfoot liked?" the werewolf asked, tired amber-brown eyes looking up.
James paused, not sure what Sirius had said earlier. "Oh no…he would only tell us it's a boy."
"A boy, huh?"
"Yeah, feel sorry for all those girls. Want to help us make the boy fall for him?"
"I guess I could help…" Remus muttered. "Peter knows though, wouldn't it make more sense to go get him?"
"Peter's helping. He should be here soon," a mischievous look passed through James' eyes at the questioning look he got. "Sirius needed distracting; he doesn't like the idea of us all helping him bag the boy."
As if on cue, Peter came stumbling in, scurrying over to the table under the librarian's harsh gaze. He sat down panting a little but supported a grin.
"I lost him," he stated. "It was hard, but I lost him. Somewhere between 'I'm going to the library' and 'Peeves wanted you'."
"Now he's going to go find Peeves?" Remus whined. "Couldn't he have just come and put up with us plotting against him."
"We're not plotting against him, Moony. We're plotting for him."
"Same difference."
Peter shook his head. "Peeves did actually want him. I just forgot to say something. He was looking for you too, James."
The boy waved his hand dismissively. "I'll find him later. I'm plotting right now, he'll understand."
Remus looked down at the Astronomy Advanced book he was reading and shut it. "Ok, so will one of you explain to me exactly what…we…"
James waved his hand a little, but it was too late; something had Remus' attention.
That something came in the form of a Ravenclaw.
Peter said something along the lines of 'poor Pads' while trying hard not to laugh, and James raised a brow. "Remus," he exclaimed.
The werewolf shot out his seat, snapping his head round to a grinning Potter. "Focus!"
"Right, Pads' love life, where were we?"
Peter turned to look at the Ravenclaw, who was shooting the table nasty looks.
"We were saying how we need to make this boy fall for Pads."
"Does he like anyone?"
"I think he's smitten with someone, kind of like how you are for what's-his-face, that Ravenclaw boy over there."
Remus flustered, clearing his throat. "I'm sorry; I'm not smitten for any Ravenclaw boy."
"You obviously are."
Peter dropped the glaring contest he'd somehow started with said Ravenclaw. "He better not be. The guy was looking at us weirdly."
Remus' blush worsened and he buried his head in his hands.
"What about a Gryffindor?" Peter questioned.
"What about a Gryffindor?"
"Are you smitten for a Gryffindor?"
Remus this time looked more like he was caught than plain embarrassed. "I-I'm smitten for no one."
James cleared his throat. "We were talking about Padfoot, not Moony."
The smaller boys turned back to each other. "It's like talking to a computer; you can't change the topic," Remus said.
Peter chuckled. "Yeah, especially if it's his best friend."
"Guys!" James whined. "Focus!"
"If one more person says that to me today…"
Just then, there was a loud bang and everything was chaotic. The room quickly flooded with the smell of dung-bombs, and everyone made a mad rush for the door as a cackling that sounded too much like Peeves rang in their ears.
The three marauders panicked, shooting up faster than everyone else; they knew dung-bombs like the back of their hand.
Remus made a quick grab for James, pulling the boy's ear to him mouth to be heard over the crowd.
"Figure out a way to make Pads' seem better than this other character, get him noticed."
--
James and Peter sat in front of Sirius looking half pleased, half angry.
"Prongs, Wormy."
"Padfoot."
There was a silence.
"Are we going to talk about plan Loony for Moony again?" Sirius asked, cringing.
"That we are, dear Padfoot," James said.
Peter narrowed his eyes. "And the dung-bombs in the library."
"I'm afraid I can't help you," he said, going back to his motorcycle magazine. "The library is my worst fear. I wouldn't go there to place dung-bombs or if you gave me a million pounds."
"Oh, but you can explain where Peeves got the dung-bombs," James snapped.
"What were you two doing in the library anyway? Conspiring with Moons?"
James cringed a little as the harsh tone. They didn't tell Sirius what they were talking about, and they told him to, basically, not go to find out. To Sirius Black, that was basically a sign they were gossiping about him. Like all the adults in his life do.
"Actually, he gave us a good plan," Peter said. He'd already talked about it with James. "For Operation: Loony for Moony."
Sirius groaned and sank into his mag. "You talked to him about it?!"
"Yes, we did. Anyway, he said you should make yourself be noticed above Michael-whatsit-"
"Who I don't like," Peter said.
Sirius clapped him on the back. "I agree with you."
"-So you need to be smart for a day, ok? Impress him a bit. Maybe make yourself seem a bit more dateable."
"Actually, I think it would be good if Sirius picked out a target, flirted with him while Remus was coming, and see what the reaction was. Michael has a girlfriend, remember?"
The grey eyes of the Black were starting to whirl. "I've got it…I'll flirt with Frank, who we can tell what we're planning, and see what Remus does. After I've completely impressed him with my awesome potions abilities, of course."
The other two marauders looked shocked.
"You have awesome potions abilities?"
"You want to tell Frank?"
Sirius smirked. "Oh, I have many tricks up my sleeves, dear Wormy. And Frank won't mind, trust me."
--
Kitty: I believe that's a perfect place to stop.
Besides, I have stuff to do.
I love it I hope you all do too X3 and please, if I spelt Snivellus wrong, tell me. I can't remember if it had an o in.
And to all those who don't review, please just review once at some point, okai?! PLEASE?!
R+R XD
Ja ne
Kivea
Preview –
"What the hell was that?!"
"What the hell was what, dear Moony?"
"You…you…were you flirting with Frank?"
"You almost sound jealous, is something wrong?"
"I-I'm not jealous. Do what you want, I don't care."
"That, dear Remmie sounds more like a question than a fact."
