Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

This Chapter is dedicated to pmvb11, my fellow insomniac!! Thanks for always cheering me on!!


Chapter 2

EPOV

I sat in my old room, trying to do anything but go down memory lane, but every time I closed my eyes I saw hers, big chocolate brown and as beautiful as ever. I never thought that I was good enough for Bella and it was too late when I woke up and realized how much I had hurt her.

***Flashback***

"Why don't you like Bella Edward, she hasn't done anything to you but you insist on making her miserable every time she comes over" my twin sister Alice as much as I love her was pushing her limit.

I can't tell you what exactly I didn't like about Bella Swan; she just rubbed me the wrong way. She had moved into town, and she was beautiful with her Chesnutt brown hair long and curly, her big brown eyes that held a wonder of thoughts behind them.

Of course my family loved her; even Rosalie who never likes anyone absolutely adored Bella, which meant that she was always here, which in turned annoyed me. I knew right away that she was different from Alice and Rose not that they were stupid in anyway but Bella was intelligent, and she impressed me with her knowledge of classic literature and music.

Also she didn't throw herself at me like other girls did, but she still was around, and I fought myself about being attracted to her. After a while she started dating and I found that it was easier to be around her when she was taken.

I struggled with depression and it was hard to not want to always be around Bella, the joy that she emitted into life was intoxicating but I didn't want to hurt her, and I was afraid that I would.

Junior year we could actually be considered friends, and I felt at ease with her I loved to listen to her laugh and I could talk to her for hours.

I was sitting in study hall when I met Kate, she was a whirl of energy and very pretty, she could hold a candle to Bella. She set in front of me and smiled at me as she turned around and started talking to me, she was easy to talk to and be myself around, and I felt drawn to her the more we talked the more I wanted to.

I felt like I could be with her and not am afraid of hurting her, so I went with it, and it was better then I thought, we were going out on Saturday and everything seemed great until Friday night.

Movie night, we did this every Friday in the winter I walked in tonight not surprise to see Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Alice already engrossed in each other in the front seats, I sat down next to Bella who looked amazing as ever, angelic in the dim lights,

"Interview with a Vampire" great Alice must have picked this, it was a movie that was long, I tried to keep my eyes on the movie and not on Bella, but she was so close I could hear her breathing. She changed positions folding a leg under her and bringing her hand down next to it, without thinking I picked in up in mine and laced my fingers with her, I was as shocked as she was, she didn't look at me, she just sat there letting me rub her soft hand in mine.

I leaned in closer to her and she followed suit as she put her head on my shoulder I got a whiff of her she smelled like strawberries and something else, something familiar. I don't know why I did it, but I leaned in and kissed her forehead, my lips lingering there for what seemed like ever. If she tilted her head up to me I would have kissed her plump red lips, but she didn't and I didn't want to push her.

We separated before the movie ended, and I knew that what happened wasn't good, I had a date tomorrow and it would crush Bella when she found out, but better now then later. She searched for me before going into Alice's room, I met her eyes but looked away quickly.

I picked Kat up first thing in the morning. Her red hair was long and straight and she had beautiful hazel eyes, I felt so drawn to her, as we were sitting in my living room she was half on my lap and we were kissing and talking, I was never into PDA with my other girlfriends but with Kate I wanted to kiss her and hold her.

I didn't realize that the door had opened until I saw a whirl of brown fly up the stairs, Bella had seen us and she was hurting, Alice and Rose walked by very mad at me, and I knew that I was in for it later.

I didn't see Bella and the girls all day, when Jasper and Emmett had come back from hiking, I didn't like the looks I received from them either, was everyone going to have a problem with Kate.

We went to eat dinner, and I sat Kate next to me.

"Edward, ummm nevermind" my mother said to me, looking worried as she saw where Kate was, then it hit me, this had been Bella's seat for 3 years, but I couldn't sit Kate at the far end of the table, now could I.

The rest of the group came in, and I was highly aware of the looks that passed between my family as Bella took the seat at the end of the table, far away from everyone else. This hurt her, and I knew it but this was how it had to be.

My dad made his entrance in from the working at the hospital, and he took a double take at Kate sitting next to me and then glanced worried at Bella sitting by herself, my family needed to snap out of this right now.

"Dad, this is my girlfriend Kate" I said feeling the whole energy of the room tense up, and while they made small talk, no one tried to get to know Kate at all.

Bella left shortly after and I know that Kate smiled a little as she watched her leave.

Kate didn't like Bella and my family didn't like Kate, it wasn't an even match at all.

***End Flashback***

I was snapped out of my memories by my phone ringing.

Well I got me a fine wife I got me a fiddle
When the suns comin up I got cakes on the griddle
Life aint nothin but a funy funny riddle
Thank God Im a country boy

Emmett, laughing and reminding myself that it was time to re-do everyone's ringtones, I had let them pick there own.

"Hey Bro" I said happy for the Bella-Break.

"How's it hanging" Gotta love Emmett, he was finishing up Medical School going into Pediatrics.

"Guess who walked into me the other day, literally" I said.

"Jessica Stanley" he laughed.

"Not funny, Bella" he stopped laughing.

"She's back in town," his tone was seriously off.

"Yes, I don't know for how long, Charlie got hurt and Renee I guess asked Bella to come home" I said as I flipped over the book I was holding it was Bella's first novel, I owned them both and had read them too many times.

"Well" that's all he said was well.

I heard Rose in the background, she had gotten her degree in Psychology and they had gotten married 3 years ago.

"Who's back in Forks Baby" she asked.

"Bella" he said and I heard her say something I couldn't make out.

"What is that about Emmett, did Rose know Bella was coming home?" I was sure she did, I knew that Alice and Bella didn't talk much but Rose had never answered whenever anyone asked her.

"Uh, no" he said and then said he had to go.

That was frustrating, more then I could figure out why it bothered me if they had kept in touch.

But then again why would they tell me anything about Bella, I think my family still hasn't forgiven me for the way I treated her.

***Flashback***

Kate and I had broken up and Bella had been over the house a lot and I was once again drawn to her, but she wouldn't give me the time of day. Not that I blamed her, Kate and I broke up a lot, we would have a heated argument and then end things, only to get back together days or a week later.

This time we had been broken up for 3 weeks and she was seeing flipping Mike Newton and it was making me crazy, first he dated Bella, and now Kate.

I was happy when Bella finally gave me a chance, and agreed to go to dinner with me, it was wonderful, and she was wonderful. Things escalated quickly from there, we had made out several times, but never going past a certain point, Bella wasn't comfortable going to that level yet.

We spend our time reading Bronte and Austen, Bella was my equal I knew that and 3 months had passed by, and I was pulling back from her, not wanting to get any closer to her, because I knew that I would hurt her in the end. I knew that she could tell what was happening, but I also knew that she loved me and it killed me to do what I was going to do to her.

"Edward, your so quiet anymore, please I know you have something to say so please just say it." She pleaded her brown eyes searching mine

"Bella, I care for you but I still have feelings for Kate" it was partially true Kate was my safety net, and I did care for her a lot but nothing compared to Bella.

It broke my heart to watch her run in the house, I drove to Kate's her and Mike had broken up.

"Hey Sexy, Glad to see that you came to your senses" she said pulling me too her, and doing her best to erase Bella from my mind, when we were finished she had succeeded but it was only temporary.

I went home and faced the firing squad.

"How could you, you asshole" Alice roared at me, I thought that Jasper was coming to get her but instead he came at me.

"You led her on for months, she fucking loves you Edward and you broke her heart, and went back to Kate, are you really that mental" I had never seen Jasper so mad, and I could feel the tension rolling off of Emmett and Rose, but Esme got to me first and I was terrified, my mother never yelled.

"Edward, I am seriously disappointed in you, Jasper is right Bella loves you, and you always hurt her, you string her along and then you hurt her, but this time son, you crossed a line" she said and I knew she was right.

"Son," my father was in on this too, this wasn't going to be pretty. "We love Bella, and she is welcome in this house 24/7 and if Kate's presence here makes her uncomfortable then we choose Bella"

"So Kate's not welcome here, that's how it's going to be" I was mad but not for the right reason's.

"She can be here, as long as its okay with Bella, if she upsets her then she will leave" Esme reinforced Carlisle's statement, I stomped off to my room.

The next morning, I heard Bella come in, and I heard Emmett stop her, and I heard her leave.

"A day of Peace and Quiet" Kate said loud enough for Emmett to hear.

He ignored her, but she just kept on cutting Bella down until I drug her outside.

"What, I'm just supposed to sit back and be ok that the girl you moon over and dated while we were a part is here every waking hour, because I don't fucking think so Edward, if you love me then you'll fix this" she whined.

"Kate hun, my parents have made it clear that Bella is welcome here, and if we have a problem with that, then we can leave" I said.

"Fine then let's go Edward" and we did leave, we spent a lot of time a her house from that moment on.

Much to my surprise a week or so later when I walked in from Kate's house I was met by a strange guy, who looked my age but was a big as Emmett, I knew he was from the reservation.

"Jake, man let's go the girls are going to skin us alive if we make them wait any longer" Emmett said I grabbed his arm after Jake had left,

"Who is that?"

"That is Jacob Black, he is Bella's boyfriend, and don't even try to mess with them or else you will deal with me baby brother" Emmett said and he was serious. I went up to my room slamming the door.

It seemed like every time I was home, Bella and Jacob were here, and Jacob did not like me, hell I didn't like me for what I did to Bella.

Summer came and went and we had to say good bye to Rose, Jasper and Emmett, mom had requested that only family be present for the going away dinner.

"Oh really Edward, just family so I guess that includes her" Kate spat at me, I didn't know if Bella would be there or not, but Kate was mad and I dreaded telling her that she couldn't come.

"I doubt it hun, mom said just family" I tried to soothe her, but it wasn't working.

"If she's there then I will leave" I said, and that worked, she smiled a happy smile at me and I left to go to dinner.

Bella was there, and it angered me because I knew that Kate was going to flip if she found out.

"Just family huh" I spat as I sat down at the table.

"Bella is family, and Rose, Jasper and I requested that she be here" Emmett said and made it clear that I was to stop it right now.

After I ate dinner, I said goodbye and left, I could just tell Kate that Bella had come over later and I left, she didn't need to know the truth.

"Good, I hope they all got the point that you are with me and that you will never be with her again" Kate's hatred of Bella was astounding but she knew that I had loved Bella.

Senior year was flying by, and Kate was doing everything she could to keep me around, she knew that I had been accepted to Harvard, she didn't have the grades or the funds to go there, so it was her goal to keep me here.

I ended things with her, telling her that a long distance relationship would never work. She didn't take it well and was calling me all day, every day.

I had heard that Bella and Jacob had also parted ways and I was excited to see her hanging around my house again as she was spending as much time with Alice as she could.

They had left to go to Tyler's party, and I was surprised when Alice called saying they weren't drunk but to tipsy to feel like driving. I went over and picked them up, I took Alice home first I wanted to talk to Bella.

I pulled over to a side road and parked the car, it was now or never.

"Bella, I need to talk to you" she looked like she was afraid of what was coming.

"Yes, Edward" her voice trembled..

"I miss you Bella, I miss you so much, and when Alice told me that you and Jacob had broken up I didn't realize how happy the news made me, what does that mean Bella"

"I can't tell you what you feel Edward"

"Can you tell me how you feel" I asked.

"Why should I Edward, you always do this to me and still after everything you want me to tell you that I love you" She loved me, I already knew this but it felt good to hear that she still loved me even after all this time.

"Do you love me Bella?"

"What if I did Edward, it doesn't change anything you and Kate are a couple" I knew that she knew we were broken up.

"It would matter a lot, and you know that we aren't together anymore, it won't work with me heading to Harvard and she is going to Seattle" I said.

"I do love you Edward, but I can't get hurt by you again" she was afraid.

I leaned over and kissed her and she kissed me back I pulled us both back into the back seat, whispering my love for her in her ear. Our kisses became more urgent, and so did we, before I knew it I was inside of her, this wasn't how it was supposed to be, the back seat of my car but part of me didn't care, I was with her, and she was with me.

I held her the whole way home, watching her walk into her house, as I headed home my phone rang.

I was Cryin' when I met you
Now I'm tryin' to forget you
Your love is sweet misery
I was Cryin' just to get you
Now I'm dyin' 'cause I let you
Do what you do down on me

Kate

I answered it, hoping for the last time to end this and try to make things work with Bella.

"Yes Kate" I answered.

"Bout time you answered I have been trying to get a hold of you for days Edward" she snapped.

"Well you've got me, now talk"

"I need to talk to you in person, I can't say this over the phone, can you come in the morning"

"Yes, but I have to be at the school by 2 for graduation" I said.

"That's fine"

I went home thinking of Bella, my clothes smelled like her, my t-shirt had her scent on it.

I left my house promising to meet everyone at the school and headed to Kate's.

"Edward" she purred as she opened the door.

"What do we need to talk about" I wanted her to know that this wasn't a social call.

"Edward, I can imagine that in my absence you've done what you always do and ran to Bella, and while I hate to burst your Bella-Bubble right now, I just want you to know that my period is late"

Oh Shit. Goodbye Harvard, Goodbye Bella, Goodbye Life.

"Have you bought a test" my dad was a Dr, I knew a thing or two.

"Not yet, but I want you to be with me while I do it, after graduation"

"Why not now Kate" we could get this over with in no time.

"Because you need to be at the school in a half hour and I'm not ready yet." We were playing her game now.

She rode to graduation with me, we got there just in time for me to line up. I sat next to Alice of course and she started in on me right away.

"What happened with you and Bella last night"

"None of your business"

"Did I see you arrive with Kate, are you going to hurt Bella again"

She growled at me as I looked at her, I was and she knew it, because I knew it. When Bella saw me with Kate after what happened between us last night she would never speak to me again.

Graduation ended, and I hung back watching my family from a distance until mom spotted me and motioned me over for a picture, Kate came with me, and I watched as Bella's heart broke at the site of Kate and I together.

Bella ran after pictures and I left with Kate, to go buy a test. However my parents interceded and insisted that we have dinner and when Rose and Alice joined us their anger only seemed to make Kate happier.

By the time dinner was over Kate had to go home, and after I dropped her off I went to Bella's.

I ran her doorbell for ten minutes until she opened it, her hair was everywhere, her was face was a mess and her eyes were empty, I had done this to her, I had broken her heart again. She tried shutting the door but I caught it.

"Bella please let me explain" I begged from my porch

"Explain what Edward, every time I turn around you are constantly saying things you shouldn't say to me, and once again you played with my emotions" she was going to cry.

"I didn't mean for that to happen last night," I had fought for years to keep from hurting her and I did it any ways, this was the time to just finish it once and for all, end her pain, she would go on with her life, she was leaving soon anyways.

"Why Edward, why are you back with her"

"Because I love her" Because she says she thinks she's pregnant, and I don't want to hurt you more if she is. I lied to her.

"You said you loved me too" she cried.

"I do Bella, honestly I do but Kate and I have been together for a while now and I owe it to her to be with her" I was making stuff up.

"I never want to see you again Edward, never" she yelled and slammed the door this time I didn't stop it.

I got back in my car and headed home, ready to face the firing squad and they came at me full force, Alice hated me, Rose wanted to kill me, Emmett and Jasper were to disgusted to even talk to me and my parents just shook their heads and walked away.

Kate wasn't pregnant and that was my wake up call to stop all contact with her at once, but it was hard, Bella was leaving my family hated me, and she was the only one who would talk to me.

Alice cried when it was time for Bella to leave, They were all sad to see her go, I felt relief that I wouldn't have to see her sad anymore, she would go to college begin a new life, one that I would have no part of.

***End Flashback***

No part of until she came crashing back into my life literally.


AN: Emmett's Ringtone is "Thank God I'm a Country Boy, By John Denver" and Kate's is "Cryin by Aerosmith"

Edward's Character is a bit complicated, I haven't quite felt him out all the way yet, and Bella won't be jumping right into his arms, there will be a little drama first.

So what do you think!!

REVIEW!!!!