A/N: This is a holiday-themed chapter, but Ethan and Jackson are both miserable at this point in their lives, so this isn't a happy Christmas story; this is however a story about hope. Ethan is profoundly depressed but also extremely resilient, and he's going to get through this. Jackson's been spinning his wheels, but he's coping too, and now they have each other, so – hope.
Sipping Poison
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
It may be your last
Next year we may all be living in the past
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
No good times like the olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who were dear to us
Will be near to us no more
From now on, we'll have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now
~"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" ~ Excerpt of original lyrics
Chapter 2: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
"That'll be eight thirty-two," the bartender said as she slid two pints of beer across the bar.
Ethan handed her a twenty pound note. As she turned to the register to complete the transaction, Jackson extended his foreclaw and dripped venom into their drinks.
She gave Ethan his change, but let out a surprised breath as her gaze alighted on the beers. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she said, eying the dark clouds floating in the their drinks. "There must have been something in the glasses. I'll get you some new ones."
"No, it–"
Ethan cut Jackson off with a hand on his arm as he reached for the pints.
"Thank you," Ethan said to the bartender, leaving a tip on the bar as she took the beers to replace them. He shook his head at Jackson and whispered to him below the range of human hearing, "You have to be more discreet, man. Normal people aren't okay with mysterious substances floating in their drinks."
"I am discreet." Jackson glowered at him.
"You just whipped it out in public."
"My claw," Jackson replied indignantly.
Ethan grinned innocently at him. "Yeah, what else would I mean?"
Jackson rolled his eyes and they took their replacement beverages to a booth in the corner of the pub. Once they had settled in, Jackson re-extended his claw, keeping it obscured by his hand as he hovered it over one of the glasses. "May I poison our drinks now?"
Ethan leaned back in his seat and smirked. "Knock yourself out."
"If I do, you'll have to carry me home." Jackson winked at him and dripped venom into the amber liquid, gently swirling the glass to defuse it. He slid the murky brew across the table to Ethan and repeated the process with his own.
"I suppose I could manage that," Ethan answered, injecting a playful lilt into his voice.
It was Ethan's third day in London, and he and Jackson had already slipped into a comfortable pattern of flirtatious banter. Jackson hadn't revised his claim that he was straight, and Ethan hadn't found any signs of arousal to indicate otherwise, so apparently Jackson simply enjoyed the attention. That was fine with Ethan. Flirting with Jackson was fun in a way that nothing else had been for the past month since Aiden's death. Besides, Ethan's grief was still too fresh for actual sex to be appealing. Harmless flirting that wouldn't lead anywhere was exactly what Ethan needed.
They spent the next several minutes sipping their drinks and making casual conversation. Everything was going fine until Rockin Around the Christmas Tree started playing through the pub's sound system. It had been Aiden's favorite Christmas song when they were kids. As they had grown older, Aiden had shown less outward exuberance when it came on, but it had never failed to lift his spirits and bring a smile to his face.
"My parents are in Manchester," Jackson remarked, sipping his beer and visibly tensing.
"That's nice," Ethan muttered, only partially aware of the shift in Jackson's mood as the pain and raw emotion that had lurked just beneath the surface for the past month came sweeping out into the open. Ethan's stomach roiled and his throat closed as he stood up on shaky legs.
Jackson furrowed his brow and parted his lips. He was about to speak, but Ethan shook his head and hustled away from the table.
"Bathroom," he called over his shoulder.
Ethan cursed under his breath as he reached the facilities only to discover that they were single occupancy and three people were already ahead of him in line. He turned toward the wall and closed his eyes as a flood of holiday memories washed over him: bonfires in the woods with his pack; decorating the tree with his family; running around the local mall with Aiden; baking gingerbread cookies with Christy; making ornaments with his dad; and wrapping gifts with his mom. The childhood memories were soothing if bittersweet, and he indulged as many more as he could – holiday plays at school; sledding with Aiden and Christy; sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night with Aiden to try to catch Santa; drinking coco from thermoses on hayrides with the pack – but his thoughts inevitably darkened as he recalled the Christmases after Christy, their parents, and the loyal members of their pack had been murdered in the uprising: exchanging solitary presents with Aiden; pulling wire hooks out of Aiden's skin after Keith and the pack had decided it would be fun to make him spend the afternoon as a living Christmas tree; scrambling with Aiden to complete chores before Keith's holiday party and then spending the evening waiting on the pack like slaves. Things had improved, or maybe they hadn't, when they went from victims to perpetrators, and the next memories Ethan recalled were of him and Aiden greeting guests at Deucalion's holiday party and then being served by the terrorized staff. There had been quiet evenings together spent working on their motorcycles and listening to Christmas songs, private moments when they relived these same memories that Ethan had just relived by himself.
It was a hell of a ride, Aid.
Next year Ethan would have Christmas memories that didn't include Aiden.
"Are you going t'go on or what, mate?"
Ethan snapped out of his thoughts to find the people in front of him gone and the restroom door open, signaling its vacancy. The guy behind him was glaring and drumming his fingers on crossed arms.
"I guess I don't have any choice."
The man gave him a confused look as he stepped out of line and returned to the table he was sharing with Jackson.
There were three full shot glasses lined up next to his beer when he sat down, and three more next to Jackson's half-empty pint.
"Time for shots." Jackson lifted one and tapped the side with his fingertip. "They're all ready to go."
Jackson's demeanor was light and carefree. To the other pub patrons he would have seemed like just another young guy off school for the holidays and having a rowdy night out with a buddy. Ethan knew better. Misery hung around Jackson's shoulders like a thick winter coat. His eyes revealed a haunted depth that belied the shallow confidence in his tone. Whatever he had been pondering while Ethan was gone hadn't been pleasant.
Ethan flashed Jackson a superficial smile but didn't hide the anguish in his own eyes as he clinked one of his little tumblers with Jackson's.
"Cheers," Jackson said in a tone that bordered on sarcastic.
Ethan smirked and laughed without humor. "Cheers."
The first shot was followed immediately by the second and the third. Five minutes later Ethan was swallowing the last of his beer and wondering just how fucked up he was going to be when the toxin hit. Two hours later he was waking up on a public bus propped against Jackson's shoulder with no recollection of how he had gotten there. Three hours later he was inexplicably curled up in bed with Jackson in an unfamiliar room with a decor that matched the rest of their flat.
"Tim Allen's a fuckin' com-middy genus." Jackson brayed with laughter and waved his arm at a TV mounted to the wall across from his bed.
Ethan narrowed bleary eyes on the screen and suddenly remembered watching the first half of the movie. Then he remembered something else. "A genus is a taxonomic rank just above species and below family."
"Um, okay, genus." Jackson flicked the side of Ethan's head and they both dissolved into giggles.
By the end of the second movie they were sober and hungry so they trudged to the kitchen. Their post-inebriated state came with a residual closeness borne of the earlier intoxication, and Ethan automatically slung an arm around Jackson's waist as they stood together eying the contents of the refrigerator.
Jackson draped his hand over Ethan's shoulder and leaned into him. "I could make us an omelet."
Ethan turned his head and gave Jackson an easy smile. "Braggart."
Jackson returned the smile, their faces only a few inches apart. He was somehow even more handsome at this range. The light dusting of freckles across his nose and cheekbones accentuated the perfection of his features, a light shone in his deep green eyes that Ethan had never seen there before, and his scent was smooth and soft with contentment.
"You want me to teach you?"
Ethan nodded, pleased by the warmth pooling in his stomach and the desire to press his lips to Jackson's. He still didn't want sex, but it was nice getting turned on for a change. He took the spark of affection in his chest as another good sign.
"What?" Jackson's lips pulled into a smirk.
"I like you and you're hot."
Jackson shrugged and squeezed Ethan's shoulder. "Same."
Ethan grinned and didn't press Jackson on how that assessment fit into his professed sexuality.
"I'll make enough for both of us, that way when you ruin yours you'll still have something to eat."
"Thanks man." Ethan patted Jackson's back and let go as he bent to grab the eggs. Ethan wasn't sensitive about his inability to cook. He had been mostly content to let Aiden make all their meals when they didn't eat out, but...well if he could finally learn to cook, now seemed like a good time.
Fifteen minutes later, Ethan was scrapping eggs that were somehow both burnt and runny out of his skillet and into the trash can as Jackson plated the perfectly made omelets that he had produced.
"That went better than I expected," Ethan admitted, setting the charred skillet on the stove.
Jackson laughed and added sprigs of parsley from the spice rack. He was such a show off.
Show off.
"Yeah, a few more years and you might actually make something edible."
"Now let's not go get over ambitious." Ethan winked as he got glasses from the cabinet for the orange juice Jackson was taking out of the fridge.
As they ate their midnight meals, Ethan recalled something from earlier that seemed significant in retrospect.
"So how come your parents are in Manchester?"
Jackson's fork clinked against his plate and the heaviness rolled back in across his shoulders.
"So they don't have to be near me."
Ethan bit his lip and regretted bringing this topic back up.
"I, uh..." Jackson sighed and set his half-finished food on the table, then leaned back across the couch. "I don't really fit in at the school I go to now. So I thought... My parents and I haven't been very close since I found out I was adopted, but we used to be when I was little. So I thought now was a good time to work on things."
Ethan nodded. He could understand how being in a new country, isolated from his peers, would make Jackson want to work on his relationship with his parents.
"Telling them about...what I am..." Jackson picked at the leg of his pants. "Seemed important."
"They didn't take it very well." Ethan didn't pose it as a question. It was obvious.
"They tried. I think they could have handled the werewolf thing, but I made the mistake of telling them about being a kanima too." Jackson's voice was tight with emotion as he grabbed his orange juice from the table.
Ethan bumped Jackson's leg with his own. "If it's any consolation, I'm pretty sure my parents would have been ashamed of what I became too."
Jackson took a swallow of his drink and tilted his head. "I thought you were a born wolf?"
"I am."
"Then–"
"My parents were really good people. I wasn't for awhile." Ethan set his own half-finished meal on the table beside Jackson's. "I was born a werewolf, but I became a monster."
Jackson smiled sardonically and held out his glass. "Cheers."
Ethan gave a bitter laugh and clinked it with his own.
-000-
End Notes: I'm planning to update on or shortly after Christmas with a chapter featuring their Christmas together. Then the fourth and final installment will be New Year's themed and should be posted around that time.
Feedback is greatly appreciated and Happy Holidays!
