A/N: Thank you so much to those who have reviewed and read the first chapter. Reviews do mean a lot and give me more motivation to get this all written for you. A few things about this chapter; please allow for artistic license, I know a lot of this is actually not how anything at all would work, but I'd like you to go along with me for the most part. Another main thing is this will not end up being and Ethan and Honey pairing, I just think that those two really could bring out another side to each other and they deserve a little fun. Bear with me.

Last but not least, please enjoy!

Kat x


Discussions and Directions

"You did so well." Ethan was practically buzzing as he walked beside me, almost bouncing on his toes as he relayed my performance. "You just moved so fluently and your lines were fantastic. They'd be mad not to let you in now." His smile was so bright and infectious I couldn't help but return it.

"Well, there were faults, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. Even if it turns out that you're the only one." I grinned, pushing my bag further onto my shoulder as we made our way to the car park. My mother was in Paris and my father had been called away to a major operation, so my brother had been sent to collect us from the Audition.

"Oh, nonsense." Ethan told me, his fingers gripping the strap of his bag as he fell into step with me, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he spoke. "You look so different with your hair pulled back like that." He was mumbling and fumbling and I found it sweet.

"Yeah, when I'm not channelling Mufasa, I do tend to look like a normal person." I grinned back at him and he laughed. Really laughed. He stopped, head thrown back as he giggled and I felt a surge of pride. I loved making Ethan laugh. He was always so serious that when he did let go, when he was awkwardly funny or when he found something hysterical, he was completely and utterly beautiful. I smoothed my hand along my hair, my mass of wild waves had been well and truly tamed into a neat bun. It had taken almost an hour to make my hair look like this, but for this moment of hilarity it was more than worth it.

"What's so funny?" Caleb's arm wrapped around my shoulder and my brother practically tackled Ethan. I rolled my eyes and shrugged out of his grip, giving him a small shove and giving my brother an almost glare. He was head and shoulders taller than Ethan and tended not to play very nice, he didn't mean anything by it, but he was much stronger than Ethan was and he tended to forget that Ethan wasn't just as tough.

"The thought that you two jokers are actually doing work." I retorted and Ethan have a small chuckle before retreating in on himself; all joking and light were gone. I frowned a little but said nothing and fell into step with him as my brother and Cal joked around behind us, only coming to a stop when I turned around. "Where is the car?" I asked, walking backwards and levelling my brother with a glare. He knew how I felt about him teasing Ethan and he was eyeing him up as he usually did when he had some sort of scheme going on.

"You'll surely be able to see a white Landrover. It's the only one in the whole place." Grey told me, returning the look before smirking. I knew then he would have something planned.

"Thanks." I nodded, and leaned forward, tugging on Ethan's blazer sleeve. I never usually touched him; he seemed to have a thing about physical contact; he would only appreciate it if he made the first move. I couldn't wait for my brother to pull one of his tricks, so I tried to distract him as much as possible. I tried dragging him into conversation about the biology test we had coming up; about the chemistry test we'd sat the previous day. I tried everything on the way to the car; but it was met by almost a stone wall of silence. I realised, too, that Caleb was quiet; my brother was doing the chatting and the plotting, the laughing and the joking.

It occurred to me then what was wrong. Caleb being here meant that there was only one parent at home and it wasn't their mother. It meant that they'd both want to be out of the house. It wasn't that their father was abusive towards them; he was just a cold, cruel man who liked to cause the rift between the brothers, create divides between them and place completely unnecessary pressure on their shoulders. Ethan was pressured to be perfect; to be more laid back to be the most knowledgeable. Caleb was pressured to be more like Ethan, to be smarter, to be less of a party animal, to think more, work harder. He could never see that he had two brilliant children; two amazing sons that would have shining careers if he would only let them have them. If he would let them be themselves. If both of their parents would. I curled my fingers around Ethan's wrist and gave a gentle squeeze, his eyes coming to meet mine as he stumbled slightly.

"It's alright." I whispered, low enough for him to hear. "come to mine tonight. Study with me." I said; before casting a quick look over my shoulder before finishing a little louder. "Please, Ethan, I need your help. There's no way I'll be able to ace this test tomorrow if you don't help me out a little." I turned to Caleb then, too, casting pleading eyes on the other boy. "Medicine Man. Help."

I didn't need the help. I had this in the bag. Aside from Ballet, the sciences were my forte, but I knew Ethan wouldn't come over to mine if Caleb was going and vice versa. My brother raised a brow and I smirked. "What's wrong, you scared your friend is going to like me better?"

"Shut up. Going from me to you is like going from an 8oz steak to a greasy burger."

I let out a loud laugh and was relieved when both of the brothers relaxed a little and Cal laughed. "You're right," I nodded, crisis averted, smiling when I felt Ethan's fingers curl with mine. "You are good for him; but I'm one of those things that is just so wrong, but so good and so right." I smirked at Caleb who winked back, causing my brother to frown and shove him, his muttered warning for Caleb to stay away from me was drowned out by Ethan Hardy's laughter.


I was still in my glasses, hoodie and a pair of ratty old short shorts when my phone rang. It wasn't often I'd managed to get two days off in a row; my own fault entirely, I tended to put myself in for over time in other, more general departments. For the past two days though, I'd done next to nothing; a few loads of washing, had my hair trimmed, went swimming, slept, caught up on rubbish TV. It had been mind-numbing but exactly what I had needed after the stint in the ED.

The ED staff had invited me for drinks afterwards and I'd grabbed a bite to eat with Ethan on the way home. It was nice to watch him work, especially after the accident, even if he still wasn't firing on all cylinders. I had to admit, I was worried when I heard the major incident was an RTA, Ethan had told me he'd been worried about it during one of our weekly hangout sessions. We usually had food of some sort, then spent hours just chatting about life and work and whatever else. Getting Ethan into his comfort zone was still one of my favourite things. Still something that I never tired of doing and found myself looking for things that I knew I could drop into conversation with him just to see that smile.

I grinned at the caller ID, Ethan asleep on some research paper or another. "Hello, Dr sexy and what are you wearing right now?" I asked, voice low and seductive, laughing when Ethan coughed and spluttered on the other side of the phone.

"Alicia, you have to stop that." He chided, "Anyone could be calling you from my phone." He sounded amused though, as he always did and I gave a shrug before realising he couldn't see me.

"Then they'll learn just how much fun you have when you're not in scrubs." I smirked, making my way into the kitchen for more coffee. I picked up the mug Ethan had gotten me, smiling at it while he tried to pretend he was mad at me on the other side of the phone. The bold red lettering read; I have way too much blood in my coffee stream! It suited me to a T and was my favourite mug.

"I need your advice," he began and I hummed in agreement. "I want to ask Honey out on a date."

It was my turn to splutter. Not because I really thought that he was going to be asking someone out on a date; but that he had managed to say it without having a minor break down. "Well then, Dr. Hardy." I flicked the kettle on and boosted myself onto the breakfast stool. "You're looking to get yourself some Honey, huh?" I could practically feel him losing patience with me over the line.

"AJ…" he sighed and I took pity on him.

"You could have asked your big brother," I told him with a small smile on my face, thrilled he'd come to me and not Cal. "He seems to have gotten himself all settled down now." I was confused by the noise that Ethan made at the other side of the line but I chose to ignore it and help Ethan. "What I don't get though," I continued, "is why you feel like you need to ask for help, you can do this. You'd done it numerous times before."

I got up to continue making my coffee while Ethan began his sentence four different times before settling on. "She's different."

I snorted and shook my head. "You could say that." I agreed, "but maybe different is what you need? I mean, isn't that the point right now? What you usually go for isn't working, so you change it up. Have fun, Ethan, you don't need to go looking for a wife and kids all the time. You can look for fun and see what happens." I took my coffee back into the living room to curl up into the sofa, and knew Ethan was thinking over what I was saying.

"But what if she says no?" He asked finally and I grinned.

"But what if she says yes?" I countered, taking a sip and snuggling into the cushions. "You can't live your life in a game of what ifs, Ethan, you make choices and you live with them. If you ask her out and she says no, then she's said no, you dust yourself off, we have curry and beer and then you move on. If she says yes, you take her out for curry and beer and thank me later."

"This is why I came to you." He admitted, and I could hear the smile in his voice, "I knew you'd tell me how it is and not how to actually ask her out."

"That's because you don't need to be told how, you just needed to be told you could." I smiled when he cleared his throat; a silent Ethan spoke louder than an Ethan who was chatting away. "What is it?" I asked finally, growing nervous at the length of time he was taking to work out how to phrase what he was going to say. The last time he took this long to tell me something was when his mother's illness had become terminal and he had no idea how to deal with it.

"I think he wants to marry her." He blurted out and I frowned.

"You think Caleb wants to marry Taylor?"

"Yes. I'm pretty sure he bought a ring and wants to marry her, Alicia."

The distress in Ethan's tone made me sit up and put my coffee down. The fact he called me Alicia was always a give-away; if I became Alicia-Jude then it was all out DEFCON One. "Why is Cal wanting to Marry Taylor a bad thing? I thought you liked her, thought you said she was a good influence on our boy." I asked carefully; knowing that this could go one of two ways. It was always a fifty/fifty shot with Ethan. I'd yet to meet Taylor personally, but Cal was much nicer, much calmer now than he had been and Ethan had told me wonderful things about the woman so his distress was throwing me for a loop.

"She is lovely. She's a wonderful influence on Caleb and I'm happy that he's with someone like her." He said softly and I cleared my throat.

"Someone like her but not her?"

"That's not what I meant, I just don't want him making a mistake, it's too soon." He sighed and I could imagine him pacing around his living room.

"Ethan, first of all, you need to breathe and secondly, he's young and in love. If he wants to make like Beyonce said and put a ring on it, then let him. He's a big boy and this is his mistake to make." I could tell that he was barely listening to me; but tried my hardest to persuade him anyway. "You let him make his own mistakes before, why is this any different?"

"It just is, okay. Because this is something that he can't ever come back from. If Jamie asked you to marry him now would you say yes?" The question came so fast I could feel my head spin. Jamie was my boyfriend and had been for the past four years; he was a fighter piolet in the RAF and was away a lot on duty. Being in Holby meant I was closer to him than I would be if I'd taken other offers elsewhere, but sometimes I wanted to lose the anchors keeping me here and go back on the road, back into the action. Back to the person I had been when we first met.

"He could get a divorce." I pointed out, still pondering the question Ethan had asked, knowing he would come back to it. "And I don't know what I would say to Jamie, we're different. It is different when it comes to other relationships. Caleb and Taylor aren't the same as Jamie and I. Just like you and Honey are a completely different kettle of fish to us, too."

"There is no Honey and I, divorce is pretty permanent and you two have been together for at least four years, not four months, and you won't consider marriage." He pointed out and I rolled my eyes; this wasn't about me. This was about his deep seated fear that Caleb was going to get himself into some sort of trouble that Ethan couldn't get him out of. That he was somehow going to fail in looking after his older brother like his mother had asked of him.

"Yet, there is no Honey and you, yet." I insisted. "Well, so is marriage, you sort of need permanent to remove permanent." I pointed out, feeling a knot forming in my stomach. "And it's not that we won't consider it; but why fix something that isn't broken? I'm not ready to be someone's wife yet, Ethan, but that's me. That's not anyone else. It's me." I finally admitted, a little exasperated by the phone call.

"Caleb was sleeping with a different woman every night he went out until he met her. He was hungover when he met her, AJ. He's turned into someone I don't recognise and I don't know what to do. The past year…" Ethan trailed off and I sighed, falling back into the cushions.

"The past year has been pretty crap to you, Eth, but you need to let it go and walk away. There's things that were always going to happen and things you might want not to have happened and things that were avoidable, but you need to let go." I told him softly, knowing the kind of memories I'd be dragging up. "Yes Cal has been a million different people this year, but at the end of the day, he's still your pain in the arse big brother that you missed something fierce when he was away even if you can't admit it. One day at a time, Ethan. Just take it one day at a time."

I had to admit, even if it was just to myself, seeing Cal actually show his emotions, actually showing how worried he was and become the over protective big brother that I knew he was, it was weird to observe. I waited for a few beats, a throbbing forming in my head and could practically hear Ethan thinking and filing and hypothesising over the phone. "Things like what you both have been through change you. They change how you view things, they change how you think and how you feel about different situations. You just need to work through that, one day at a time." I kept my voice soft; we both knew that this was one of the few things wherein I knew what I was talking about; wherein I could give him advice.

"It's such a cliché is it not?" He asked quietly, "one day at a time." He sighed and I heard rustling around and then I realised I was right and he had been pacing. "I've been trying to live one day at a time; but I'm still off and I shouldn't be. Everyone else is moving along nicely and I just seem to be still stuck there for the most part. I just feel so lost sometimes."

He sounded so lost I wanted to hug him, to wrap him up in cotton wool and lock him away from the world. "Ethan, I highly doubt that everyone is just fine. It's only been a few months and it's just through the Christmas Period. You have this one life and things will happen, good and bad, the domino effect, remember?" I prompted, "You're not lost, Ethan, you have too good a sense of direction and too many people around you who are damn good with Google Maps to let you get lost. You're not alone. You need to remember that."

He made a very non-committal noise at the other end of the line and I sighed. Trying to make him see sense was even harder than it was with his bone head of a brother. "I mean it, snoopy." I heard a small chuckle from him and I grinned. "I know that you can do this. You are an amazing doctor, a fantastic brother and an incredible friend. But more than that, you're Ethan Hardy. And you are unique and strong enough to handle this. Lean on those around you; a problem shared and all that. Lord knows you've carried us often enough, let us help you." My accent was more pronounced now and I felt a lump forming in my throat as my eyes got a little glassy.

When Cal had shown up in Neuro looking like he'd been hit by a truck, I knew there was something wrong. He couldn't even get the words out. He couldn't tell me that Ethan was hurt, that he was weak and frail, but stable. He couldn't make the words come out of his mouth; he simply looked at me with heartbreak in his eyes and I had to try to make sense of what he was trying to convey. He'd taken my hand and linked our fingers before leading me to Ethan's room. It wasn't the vision of Ethan in that bed, wires and tubes and cuts and bruises that I recalled, that made my palms sweaty and my heart race, it was the sheer devastation on Caleb's face that I always recalled.

"You always know." Ethan told me, "You always know exactly what to say. Thank you." He stated and I grinned, despite the fact I was still trying to process what exactly had happened in the last half hour. "You've always been able to make things better."

"That's the thing, Ethan, I don't make them better. I just decode your thoughts and help you get them into some sort of order that makes sense to you. Stop being so hard on yourself and get round here. Bring me food and we'll talk about getting you some Honey." Ethan choked on the other side of the line before cracking up and I did a little victory dance.

"You have no idea the relevance of that statement." He got out through waves of laughter.

"Bring me sweet and sour chicken and spare ribs and you can tell me all about it."


"The ED are on the line; need someone to assess a patient," Chloe the receptionist stuck her head around my office door where I and a few other Neuro's where having a discussion about some papers which had been recently published. Without thinking, I stood and slung my stethoscope around my neck, clipping my ID badge onto the pocket of my dress and grabbed for my blazer.

"Tell them I'm on my way, Chloe." I nodded towards the receptionist and resisted the urge to flip my co-workers off as they began to tease me about my willingness to go down to the riff-raff. "What can I say?" I shrugged, pausing in the doorway and giving them a smirk. "A woman needs some excitement in her life and you just aren't enough anymore, sorry boys." I gave a sympathetic smile before laughing as I made my way to the elevators, hitting the down button and chewing on my bottom lip as she slipped my coat on.

It had been close to three weeks since I'd helped out in the RTC. Close to two weeks since Ethan and I had had a discussion about decisions and whether to not I'd make a return to Emergency Medicine and he would move into a department out of the ED. It had been during that discussion that I'd confessed that I did in fact miss the commotion and the hustle and bustle of a busy department, of being rushed off of my feet. He'd spoken to Connie in passing and it had been a week since Guy Self had dropped into my office to discuss a possible change to my work timetable and contract which would allow for me to split my shifts between both departments. The ED was under staffed; Neuro were technically over staffed. It made sense.

I hadn't made my decision. Hadn't spoken to anyone else about it but Guy wanted an answer within the next day or two and I honestly had no idea which way to go. Everything about it made sense. It was the best of both worlds and everything I needed and wanted. When the elevator doors opened and I was assaulted by the noise and the chaos, I blinked once before moving, just as the doors began to close. I had been so deep in thought I'd managed to get myself here without thinking about it. I deliberately chose to ignore how I managed to do that and I made my way to Resus, pushing the door open and taking the gloves offered to me, giving Connie a smile.

"You rang?" I held my hand out for the offered notes and flicked through them listening as Connie told me briefly about the patient, I nodded before hooking the notes back on the bed and getting my light out of my pocket and walking up to the head of the bed. "Hello, Carlie." I spoke clearly, sighing and turning to Connie. "Her left pupil is blown, didn't think to mention that to me?" I shook my head when Connie frowned and made her way to look, both of us immediately barking out requests and instructions to the nurses before I moved to the phone to get a space in theatre.

"She's arrested." Rita called and there was a flurry of activity and I found myself part of it again; administering a small dose of adrenaline and starting compressions while Connie took up my post, arguing for surgery space. I could do the procedure, would do the procedure, we just needed space and an anesthetist and surgical team.

"Keep her head as steady as possible, you need to try to contain the bleed." I told her as she nodded, I continued with compressions, only looking away from the girl at the sound of Caleb's voice as he brought in his patient. He looked over and quirked a brow at me.

"Neuro coming down to do CRP, I'm impressed. Just can't keep away can you?"

"Someone has to show you how it's done," I quipped back, stopping compressions when Rita stated it had been a cycle, asking Connie for a pulse check and shaking my head before resuming compressions, only to pause when Connie announced that there was output. "We need to get her on the table, Connie, it's the bleed that's causing this. We need to reduce the bleed and get a drain in or we'll lose her."

"Theatre are taking her when we're ready." Connie said as the nurses flurried around, getting things ready.

"I'll take her down; I'd appreciate it if I could borrow Rita, though, while I get prepped for surgery." I ventured, smiling at the nurse when Connie granted my request.

"Have you given him an answer yet?" Connie asked as she slipped her gloves off.

"No."

"I think you should give him it before you change your mind."

"I haven't—"

"You had before you even left Neuro to come down here."

I stopped in my tracks watching as the Clinical lead gave me a knowing smile and walk out of Resus, leaving me to scramble to get myself together as we wheeled the patient out of the room. I ignored Cal's questioning glance, and Rita's, too. Connie was right. I did have my answer, I just wasn't sure what chain of events it would set off if I gave it.